Taking the Reins

Long time no write.  I’ve been on vacation….from everything, it seems.  The holiday toll?  I’m now up to 155, the highest I’ve been since I lost all my weight years ago and over 4 lbs above my goal weight.  I’m scared, but instead of getting mad, I’m getting even.

 Christmas resulted in a lovely book called the “Abs Diet for Women.”  Now, don’t go laughing quite yet.  Some of what he has to say is dead on, and I agree with it.  His use of low fat ice cream in all the smoothies isn’t his most brilliant work, nor are his crappy recipes, but for a beginner strength routine and introduction to such powerfood as berries, almonds, spinach, and oatmeal — fantastic.

So I’m overlapping the Abs Diet with WW and will see where that takes me.  Everything containing high fructose corn syrup in the house has been thrown out.  There are no more refined anything in the cupboard…..if it’s high on the ingredient list, it’s in the trash.  I’ve bought huge bags of almonds and walnuts, ground flax seed, a high quality whey protein powder, and bags of chicken breasts and frozen spinach.  As drastic as it sounds, this wasn’t too far off from the way I was.  I’m just eliminating a few ex-staples of my diet (the bars and 100-calorie packs), and substituting them with organic peanut butter and celery, or organic yogurt with nuts and berries.  I was sad to see my beloved Yoplait Light had high fructose corn syrup as the 2nd ingredient……I threw them all out and now I’m a Greek yogurt person!

Yesterday was Day 1, as I just couldn’t wait.  We did a 4-mile hike with a nice elevation gain to start the afternoon, and I finished the evening with a 30-minute ab/core/back strength routine, all from the privacy of my own home.  My triathlon training program starts next week, so that should give me all the cardio I need to complement the new weight training program the Abs Diet has put me on.  (For as disorganized and cheesy the book is, they do a very nice job of showing you all the different exercises you can do with a mat, a swiss ball, and free weights)  This week I need to get back into the pool so that my body isn’t too shocked when we have our first swim practice.  I also need to hit a spin class or two, just to get those legs back into shape.  I want to run, but I think my knees need a another week or so of conditioning before I am ready to test them out again.

So, how’s that for change?  We’ll see how it goes, but I figured I had to jump-start my weight loss somehow, and doing something drastic is always helpful.  Abs Diet for Women is basically like Core with weight training, so maybe I’ll hit up a few meetings and see if it makes sense to just call my eating “Core.”  Until then, I’m a smoothie-making, nut-eating, weight lifting machine!  (With lots of cardio in between, because I love love love it!)

Well, I just can’t stop smiling right now.  The non-runner…..the girl who could barely manage to do the mile run in PE in under 15 minutes….the girl who five months ago could not run a mile without walking……

 Got 2nd place!!!

Oh yes, this was momentous indeed.  So, the fast runners in my age group didn’t come out to play today, but there were 15 or so of us, and I was #2.  I hit the podium in my very first running race, and I can’t stop smiling!  There were over 1000 of us towing the start this morning, and it took about a minute and a half to clear the start chute and get running.  I felt like I was out in the water at a triathlon, battling for space…..I had no idea that runners experience the same thing.  In order to make up for the non-movement at the start of the race, I knew I’d have to pick up my pace for the first mile, then settle into my 9-minute miles for the rest of the race.  I was surprised at how well things went for me.  In triathlons, the 5K is a nightmare and I am tired and hating life.  Today, I was invigorated running in the crowd and enjoying dashing around people in their costumes.  The last mile was a bit tough, but I kept up  my pace and finished strong.  It was the first time my husband has been at the finish line waiting for me, so that was excellent motivation to not slow down and disappoint him.  But what fun!  And then finding out that I’d placed was pretty sweet, too.  My official time was 28:03 (I said that the fast people didn’t show up in my age group!), but if I back out the start, I probably did a 26:30 5K.  THAT makes me exceedingly happy. 

Now I have a taste for it…..and I’d better get close to the podium in triathlon now, because that’s what really gets my juices flowing.  I just need to buy more frozen peas….my poor knees are hating me right about now!

Here’s a pic from the race….I dressed up a little, but I still look like I’m hating life!:

I’ve been absent since I got back from Thanksgiving.  It’s not because I couldn’t post.  It’s because I’ve been hiding things.  Yes, I have been bad.  And because I use this blog to talk about my eating habits, I shall now outline all of the horrible things I’ve done over the past few weeks.

1.  I ate two bagels for lunch yesterday.  (I can explain this— have been working 12+ hour days and was unable to leave work, but because I have no food in the house, I couldn’t pack a lunch — so I was at the mercy of what was leftover from meetings that morning and I was REALLY hungry)

2.  I have Reduced Fat Jif in the cupboard.  I know I can’t resist the stuff.  In fact, I must have at least a tablespoon a day.  I know for a fact that even that small amount adds pounds to my rear end.  But do I stop?  No.

3.  I have had little to no extra time for exercise.  I sometimes get in to work at 6am.  I’m there until 7pm.  There is nothing left in the tank for the gym, considering what I’d want to do is swim or take a spin class. 

4.  When faced with chocolate cheesecake, I demolished the entire chocolate topping.  (I left the cheesecake, though– mustn’t that count for something?)

5.  I ate Chick Fil A french fries with DH.  He is an enabler.

6.  I’m back to binge eating my favorite cereal, Honey Bunches of Oats.  (Although I’ll do it to pretty much anything, save for All Bran, which is a little too gritty for that)

7.  AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, all better now.  Clean slate.  How many slates must I wipe clear before I finally get a handle on this?! 

I need to find a balance with work.  Go to my 1st yoga class.  (Except I’m too nervous because I don’t even know what to wear or do)  Do something to channel all this extra angst that is showing up in my eating habits.

I shall contemplate and try to find a better way.

I made these tonight from a recipe in Her Sports Magazine….but after reading the fine print, it looks like the original author is the American Institute for Cancer Research’s “Marlene Koch’s 375 Sensational Splenda Recipes.”

 Now, I was skeptical about the black beans, and because of that, I used regular butter, regular eggs, and regular sugar.  But now that I’ve tried the recipe and think it’s fabulous, I wouldn’t hesitate to try spray butter, Egg Beaters, or Splenda.

Ingredients:

3/4  cup black beans, drained

3 tbsp butter, melted

2 large eggs

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 cup Splenda or sugar

6 tbsp Dutch-process cocoa powder

1/4 cup all purpose flour

1/4 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 cup chopped walnuts, optional

Prehead oven to 325 F.  Spray 8 x 8 pan with nonstick spray.  In a small bowl, combine cocoa powder, flour, and baking powder, then set aside.  Place beans and melted butter in a food processor and puree until beans are completely smooth, like a thick paste.  Scrape bean mixture into a medium-size bowl.  With a wooden spoon, beat in eggs, vanilla, and sugar, until mixed well.  Add cocoa mixture and stir.  Mix in nuts.  Spoon batter into prepared pan.  Baked for 13 - 15 minutes or until center springs back when touched.  Do not over bake.  Cool in pan on wire rack.  Makes 12 servings.

Nutrition per serving:

100 calories (132 if using sugar), 4 grams total fat (2 saturated), 14 grams carbohydrates (22 with sugar), 2 grams fiber, 3 grams protein, 95 mg sodium.

A+ to this recipe!  Hubby didn’t like it because it wasn’t Ghiradelli, but I’m in love.  Who knew black beans and chocolate could taste so good?!

Oh, if only it were as good as the past 2 years.

 Not only did I have to travel home for Thanksgiving, but I also had to organize my hubby’s 30th birthday party the night before the big feast.  To say that I overindulged would be an understatement.  Ugh!  But I’m not looking back.  I figure the fever and nausea I had yesterday were enough punishment for my week of bad eating and less-than-stellar exercise.  (I ran about 3.5 miles on Monday, but the altitude got to me and I couldn’t go much farther!)  I didn’t get to run in the Turkey Trot this morning, either— yesterday really took it out of me and I didn’t think I’d be in any shape to try 6.2 miles for the first time ever.

So today, my first day feeling healthy, I’m back on track.  And I’m cooking!!  I decided to make the black bean chocolate brownies that I read about in Her Sports magazine a few months back.  I had bought all the ingredients, but I haven’t been bored enough on a weekend to want to cook since before triathlon season.  Funny how that goes.  Now I know why women cook a lot on Sundays….need something to do while we mourn the loss of our hubbies to football! 

So, this week I have plans to hit the run club.  It’s really only for gym members, but they meet outside and my coach is the sweep, so she thinks it’s fine for me to show up and run with them. I guess until they get wise, I’ll take advantage of the group running benefits and try to stay healthy!  Also need to get my rear in the pool…..I miss it!

At any rate, that’s my update.  Ate a lot for Thanksgiving.  Felt like garbage.  Back on program.  And tomorrow is another day.

I am hurtin’ for certain today……  Like a good minion, I took Coach’s suggestion and met her and a group of eager runners at 24 Hour Fitness for an evening running club.  The only requirement?  You must be able to run 4 miles in 45 minutes.  OK, fair enough.  I fit the criterium.  What I didn’t take into account, though, was the 1 mile HILL we had to run up half-way through the run.  Holy hip flexor!  I made it, but I wasn’t as fast as I was hoping.  That’s what you get for tapering your workouts so much.  But now I have  Thursday night workout that is FREE (always a bonus), is coached (we have a personal trainer who takes the lead and then my coach runs “sweep,” making sure she’s last every time), and gets me off my rear.  We did 4 miles last night, so that was pretty fun.  Running at night in a group is actually kind of invigorating.  I feel so much more alive today!

Just tell my hip flexors to quit hurting so much.

I did conclude that exercising on a caloric deficit really stinks.  I’ve held fast to the plan for an entire week, and although I’ve lost 3 lbs., I do feel totally knackered when I hit the gym.  Coach suggested I time my meals so that I’m eating an hour before I work out, so we’ll see if that makes a difference. 

In food world, I’m facing down a restaurant lunch right now.  All new chains, so I don’t have Dottie’s Weight Loss Zone to act as my pre-lunch guide.  Hopefully I’ll find something mildly healthy so that I still have points left for dinner!  We leave for vacation on Saturday night, so I’m not sure how I’ll do over the next week.  I’m packing my running shoes and my swimsuit, though, so hopefully I can get a few good workouts in to make the week less painful.  Good way to get away from the in-laws, eh? 

Anyway, good luck to everyone on their Thanksgivings.  I know you can get through the week unscathed….just remember, a tablespoon of everything is what you get.  And if it’s THAT fantastic, then you can go back for another tablespoon.  It’s all mental.  If you deprive yourself, you’ll only want it more.  So indulge, but do so in a controlled manner.  I know you can do it!

I hate to say it, but the program works.

I can’t tell you how many times I complained to people, swearing I wasn’t doing anything differently but wasn’t seeing results.  I gained 5 pounds when I moved to California over a year ago, and I’ve been “dieting” ever since. But it was all a lie!!!  I was cheating.  I was cheating on my points.  Cheating on my readers.  But most importantly, I was cheating myself by not acknowledging that I was not on program.

Now, I may be moaning and groaning next week, but this is Day 4 TOTALLY on program, no indiscretions, and I am down 3 lbs since last Thursday!!  And before anybody can dismiss it as water weight, I had sustained 154.5 for 4 days before I decided to take action.  So here I am, back to the famed 151.5.  Goal.  But I still qualify for the Athena division in triathlon, so I need to keep going!

Anyways, had to report my small victory and fess up some more.  I know everyone may think that I look fine, but I really do have more body fat than I need and being at the top of my BMI range, regardless of my lean muscle mass, is really annoying me!  My waist could stand to lose a few more inches, so I’m doing this.

Here’s the day:

It’s only taken 3 days, but my focus is back.  Funny how it takes an entire year and half to recommit to the program after you were initially so successful!  I even unearthed my WW Lifetime Membership card, which I will dutifully take to a meeting with me very soon. 

I’m at 22 points, and although I’m still hungry, I’m finally getting used to it and being honest with myself.  When I post my log tonight, that’s it.  I informed DH that I am out of points, so he will help me if I try to sneak into the fridge or cupboard tonight for an evening snack.    This time, I’m going to get to where I want to be BEFORE I start the heavy training.  This darn belly WILL be gone, along with all the extra fat that’s hanging around just for the heck of it.  I WILL do it this time.  No more lies.  No more self-destruction.  I’m not doing this for aesthetics….I’m doing it for free speed!  (Seriously, I know I’ll be faster with less bulk hanging around)

Anyways, looked at more bikes today.  Scheduled a fitting at a bike shop to check my optimal angles for a tri bike….hopefully that’ll help me decide what frame geometry I should be looking at to maintain comfort and achieve the maximum power output.  As you know, I am all about the speed– I must be fast!  So the fitting is going to take an hour and a half on the fit bike on Wednesday.  I’m kind of excited, but it could be a lot of work.  We’ll see…..

So tonight, I’m packing the gym bag with my swimsuit, pull buoy, and a nice 1800 meter swim workout so that I can head straight to the gym after work.  I need to keep at it 3 times a week to maintain my base, so although I’m a little behind, hopefully I can rededicate and catch up.

Here’s the damage for the day:

So I humored DH today and consented to eating at our favorite Mexican place for an early dinner/late lunch.  I knew this would be difficult, but I had points and I knew I could manage.

 I managed.

But I hated it!  I chewed gum while hubby chowed down on chips and salsa.  I ordered the grilled fish tacos, which I hate, because I knew they’d be low in calories and I wouldn’t want to eat them.  By the end of the meal, I was still hungry, down at least 10 points, and the joy was gone.

That’s not to say that in the past year, I’ve misbehaved.  On the contrary, I think I make rather good menu selections… But I’d also have my serving of chips and salsa, and I wouldn’t purposely torture myself.  I’m hoping this behavior changes.

On the plus side, I played with new road bikes today.  Carbon ones.  They make my heart go pitter patter!!  Not my wallet, but definitely the heart.  I wanted a tri bike, but I’m thinking perhaps it’s not the best idea right now?  Anyway, the sooner I get a new bike, the sooner I get out there again.

So here’s the daily damage.  Time to swallow toothpaste and call it a night:

What a roller coaster the past few weeks have been!  After reading Steph’s (Where the Heck is Barbie) post yesterday, I realized that what I am going through is normal, and the best thing to do is to press on.

So I haven’t been honest.  I put my blog up at 7pm and proceed to healthily eat myself into oblivion for the rest of the evening.  My workouts are not counteracting the caloric intake, and therein lies my problem…..instagain.  I read a ton of triathlon blogs on a daily basis, and they always joke that they can eat cakes, cookies, and other naughty treats because they deserve them!  But man, it’s so hard to turn it all off when you don’t deserve them.

But yesterday, I had my first, honest to goodness, TRULY on PROGRAM day in more time than you could imagine!  I was honest about my points, I didn’t dig into flex, and I had my husband forcefully grabbing food out of my hands during a late night craving.  He made me brush my teeth and stood there while I did it.  Granted, I begged him for help, but it was pretty darn funny in retrospect.  If it weren’t for him, I don’t know if I would have made it??

With that, behold my wonderfully brilliant on program day.  I lost a pound!  (I know, one day doesnt’ do anything, but I need a bone here and the scale threw me one)

Oh, and the big news?  I have signed up for my first Half Ironman!!!  Barb’s Race, in August.  (I intend to eat cake in August)

Ah, you have to love life.  It gets infinitely complicated at all the wrong times,

But I’m here, and I’m it, so here are my 7 facts:  (Thanks, Roni!)

1.  I am a distinguished expert in marksmanship.  Hubby taught me one summer while we were camp counselors.

2.  I hate raw tomatoes.  But I love sundried tomatoes, stewed tomatoes, and tomato sauce.  What’s up with that?

3.  I met my husband on the internet.  He instant messaged me one night on AOL, NOT a dating service, and we started talking.  Turns out his roommate was in the same MCAT prep class I was in, and it was so funny watching his roommie looking around the room every class trying to figure out who I was! 

4.  My favorite animal is the horse.  I grew up riding and competing, and I’d give anything for that warm, musky breath and velvety nose up against my face.  They are very special animals.

5.  Hubby and I were on the only all-student team to make it to the final day of the University of Colorado’s Trivia Bowl the year we competed!

6.  I have an obsession with black and white films from the 1930’s.  Jeannette McDonald and Nelson Eddy are my heros.

7.  I hate to exercise!  Yes, it’s true.  The triathlete secretly hates running more than you could possibly imagine.  But I love the feeling of crossing the finish line more, so I put up with the pain and suffering so that I can finish in style. 

 So there you have it.  7 random facts about me.  Hopefully you can’t figure out who I am based off of it.  And if you can….well, I’m a distinguished expert in marksmanship…. 

Crap! Crap crap crap crap crap.

Oh, Happy Halloween.

So, I ate a gyro. I had no idea a weeny pita and shaved lamb could actually be 16.5 points. And then to top it off, their stupid little side salad which I stupidly did not order with dressing on the side was a whopping……4.5 points in dressing alone!

I’m so over today, it’s not even funny….and I’m starving.

I hate it when this happens. If it weren’t Halloween, I’d go home and go straight to bed. Anyway, that’s all I have to say. I’m a little irked with myself for not checking DWLZ before I went to eat….and for going back to my carb-obsessed, hardcore training ways. Geesh!

Crap!

OK, there, I got it out.

I am not going to stop moaning and groaning about being back on program until this insatiable hunger goes away.  My carbohydrate laden habits of this summer are leaving me totally hungry and out of points by dinnertime.  It sucks.  Like, really, really sucks. 

Hubby doesn’t help, either.  He pulls out his chicken nuggets and microwave pizzas.  “Want some?” he asks.  Um, excuse me?!  Do you want a thin wife?  Never ask me again!!! 

Perhaps today just isn’t a good day.  I made a minestrone soup in the slow cooker last night, but in my infinite brilliance I added Barilla Plus pasta at the end that soaked up all of my chicken broth.  I ended up with runny pasta with vegetables in the end.   Oops.  All I had in my cupboard was chickpeas and black beans, so I only added 1 can of chickpeas.  Again, the “soup” imposter could have used some more protein to help stave off my hunger.

I’d love to go for a swim, but I just got a skin biopsy and I’m not allowed to swim in a public pool for 2 weeks.  Ugh!!!  So tomorrow after work, I’m going to attempt to go to spin class.  Tell the hubby I have to work late so he doesn’t get all upset that he’s alone all day and I don’t want to hang out with him as soon as I get off of work.  (anyone else have this problem?  Yeah, didn’t think so)

So that is the scoop.  Still hungry.  Pissed that I don’t have any one-point snacks around.  Surrounded by bagels, granola, and Powerbar equivalents.  Desperately yearning for the day when my 22 points feels normal…..

 Here’s the daily damage:

The wagon is much harder to climb back on than I remembered.  In fact, if I hadn’t done this before, I would have called it impossible to follow Weight Watchers! 

As you may or may not know, I’ve been in training for a full season of triathlons.  We’ve recently entered the off season, and whilst I still run, bike, and swim 3-4 times a week, I’m not doing anything in excess of 1-hour, and my intensity isn’t as high.  I quite honestly was consuming 30 - 35 points a day and maintaining my weight.  I didn’t journal, I didn’t count……I just made sensible choices and ate around my workouts.  When I saw an energy bar, I forgave an extra 100 calories or so because I knew I’d work it off.

But this week?  Oh, man, it’s been tough.  I spent the week in Las Vegas on business, and my boss and coworkers went nuts on the culinary front.  We ate at Emeril’s steakhouse on day 1, Mario Battali’s place for lunch on day 2, and had another 5* evening to follow all of that.  I tried to be sensible, but I even munched on beef wellington, chocolate-covered cherries, and risotto of all shapes and sizes!!

I have since gained almost 5 lbs.  5 pound!!!!  Not only is it unacceptable, but it’s scary.  It makes me feel as though I’m losing control of my weight.  It’s been over 2 years since I weight 178 lbs, and I don’t want to go back there.  Not when I’m in the best shape of my life!  It’s cruel.

At any rate, I’m making an effort to get back on track.  Starting today, because the whole “tomorrow, I’ll start my diet” thing just doesn’t cut it for anybody.  I know that well after all these years.  So I’m definitely struggling with the reduction in my calories, for sure.  I’m staring down 5 points left for dinner and I have NO IDEA what I can possible throw together to make a fulfilling meal.  I guess I go to bed hungry tonight?  Boy, I haven’t felt like that in ages.  Insanity!

Yet I know this will pass, and eventually I will be fully engaged and back on the wagon, happily singing the praises of WW and eating my 1200-1400 calories a day like a good little follower.

Until then, just let me moan and groan.

So, the triathlon off-season is one week away and already I’ve got my eyes on getting back to my WW meetings.  Getting these last ten pounds off of my frame (should I say, pudgy midsection?!) will not only relieve some of the strain on my aching knees, but hopefully should make me a little bit faster! 

I don’t know if you all recall this, but way back in June I got off the couch and joined a triathlon training program.  I’ve since become horribly addicted, and now all I can think about are races I want to do or different ways to pick up more speed.  It’s insane.  But I left some things unfinished in my weight loss.  I have added muscle, true, but the same fat around my belly remains.  Since you can’t train for triathlons and purposely lose weight (I was feeling faint and unenergetic), the belly fat has just sort of hung around.  At one point I was okay with it, but then I got some back pain and I’m back to zero tolerance!

The off-season is a beautiful thing, as it appears triathletes don’t really rest…..they just pick different activities that may help them during the race year.  Yoga, for flexibility and a clear head.  Pilates, for building a strong core that will drive all three of your events.  Mountain biking, to work on those hills and build big quads!   And of course, weight loss — for more speed…….

So with that in mind, I’ve started to read everyones’ blogs again to get me back in the mood.  It’ll be extra tough this time around, because I’ll be going from 30 points a day back down to 22, with my exercise returning to more moderate activity, and I know what I can eat to just “maintain.”  Yet I am going to attempt to attack the off-season with discipline and try to once and for all kiss this pudge goodbye.

Next season.  Watch out!