It’s funny, because lack of exercise is not my problem.  It’s learning to balance properly fueling my body with my training.   My training program is cyclical, so in one week I may burn 8000 calories, and in another, down to 2500.  Yet I continue to eat as though I were burning 8000 calories, and then the pounds pack on.  Want to know the facts?  Well, back in January, I decided to train for an Olympic distance triathlon.  I got down to 150 lbs through a month of WW (1 lb. below goal, although I was 141 for my wedding and 145 for an entire year after).  I am now fully trained, 156 lbs, but have lost 1/2 inch in my thighs, chest, hips, waist, and bicep.  Tell me this is not cruel!  So while everything I own still manages to fit, I find that the extra weight has packed onto my body and I have this stomach POOCH that is quite possibly larger than it was when I started triathlon nearly a year ago.

I’m devastated.  The extra weight makes me feel very self conscious, and a part of me feels as though I am losing control.  I never thought I’d end up above my goal weight again, let alone 5 lbs. over it.  It scares me to think that I’m only a few lbs away from somewhere I swore I’d never, ever be again.  Petrifies me.

So I am trying to take it all back and get on the wagon again, but it has been hard.  Being able to eat everything I wanted to was not a good influence on me.   Now I feel deprived.  Hungry.  Tired.  But I need to stick with it, because my weight is in the one place that jeopardizes my health…….I need to make it disappear so that I can keep a healthy heart.  (And get faster!!!) 

Anyway, to start being accountable, here is my food log for yesterday.  I’ve got an Achilles injury, so my training is pretty sad right now.  20 minutes on the trainer and I was shot yesterday! 

I did it.

That’s all I wanted to be able to say after this race. I know I have this crazy, speed-seeking reputation and all, but honestly, I do triathlon because it pushes me to do things I don’t think I can do. The Olympic distance, until Saturday at 12:00pm (approximately!), was something I wasn’t entirely sure I could do. A year ago, if you mentioned the distance, I would have said I’d have to be smoking crack to do it. Well, here I am, crack free and I’ve done it.

It wasn’t pretty, though.

So, to the race.

I strolled into transition at 5:30am and couldn’t help but notice that nearly every other Diva was already in transition and done with their setup. Seriously, I thought I was early!! I looked like the kid who came to class late. Anyway, I had no trouble getting in, dropped my gear, got marked, and then chatted a bit. I was more concerned with where I was going to use the bathroom than what was happening in transition. To help alleviate all other stress, my Garmin mysteriously turned itself on sometime in the night and had run its battery dead….so I had no way of knowing my speed, distance, or time on the bike or run. Oops. This race was going to be done on perceived exertion…..how can I go all out when I don’t know how fast I’m going?

We had a ½ mile walk to the swim start, where I put my wetsuit on at the car and then joined the other Olympians down by the water. The Sprinters were already in their chutes, and the crazy, FAA-rule-breaking NBC helicopter was continuously buzzing by. We took a few photos, chatted, and waited. And waited. And waited. When the Sprinters went off, we started getting nervous again…but then nothing happened and we had to wait some more. So there was time for some “acclimation” in the water and a fabulous photo op with Elvis. I was a wreck until our Elvis photo. How bizarre that this triathlete with a shaved chest dressed up like Elvis actually calmed me down more than my husband or fellow teammates!!

Then it was time.

I wasn’t panicky this time around. The thought of doing Pacific Coast had me whimpering at the swim start, but this race I was determined to just get it over with. So I lined up to the far outside in the very front, and then I made them swim over me when the gun went off. It seemed to be pretty smooth compared to the kicking and throttling we witnessed in the Sprint starts. I got out pretty cleanly and managed to stay somewhat close to the front. I never really sighted the big orange buoy too much…..every time I looked up I was headed for it, so that was a plus. About halfway through the swim, we started getting some waves. When we turned towards shore, they started hitting us from the right and I swear, they were almost like rollers out in the Pacific Ocean. They really hit the snot out of us! It was fun, though, and soon enough we were under the bridge and it was time to focus on the bike.

(that’s me on the far left!)
I crawled out of the water and when I got to the pavement, whipped that wetsuit right off. I then proceeded to run. Well, not before I looked at my watch. 26 minutes. Holy cow. Either that was not 1500 meters, or I just swam the fastest I ever have. Anyway, this is important, because I then ran my little tush off to get to the mat as fast as I could. Coach said it was ¼ mile according to her Garmin. My transition time was 28 and change, so this means I clocked an 8-minute mile pace up that miserable hill, barefoot, into transition. FYI – I don’t run 8-minute miles. I am slow, and 8-minutes is what I muster in an all-out timed mile. And then I vomit immediately afterwards.

So I think this is the first thing that went wrong for me. In my vain quest for a good swim split, I sprinted to transition and blew out my legs. In T1, I quickly got my gear on and sucked down a gel while pushing my bike over the mat.

Hopping onto the bike, my legs were shaking and my heart rate was refusing to come down. I was whooped by the time we got out of the Lake Las Vegas vicinity and onto the multi-use trail. I just have to note here that I carefully studied the elevations on this bike course, and while I’m not so good at measuring how comparable one course is to the other, I was certain Santiago Canyon could kick this course in the rear. But I was WRONG. The 3 sisters (er, Bitches as I am told they are really referred to by Nevada locals) are evil cows. That’s what they call the three hills that we hit in the first few miles of our time on the trail. They are fairly short as far as hills are concerned, but the grades were ridiculously high and not something I’d ever encountered before on a road bike. I heard someone say 17% at one point? At any rate, my inner quads were shaking 1/2way up the first and I saw several girls walking towards the top.

I had initially sworn I would never walk these hills, but I started to do some math. These hills finish by mile 9, and then that’s it for the hills. So I have 12-15 + miles of downhill and level riding ahead of me, which I knew I could hammer out on “fresh” legs. Why blow out my legs on these ridiculous hills and sacrifice the majority of my bike leg? So what did I do? I clipped out as I neared the top of #1 and walked my sorry butt a few feet up the remaining part of that miserable, god-forsaken hill. I made it up #2 with no problems, but again with #3, I dismounted and started to hike.

And then I got caught in the act. There went Shannon, FLYING up the hill right past me on her little blue bike. Talk about deflating. My fellow Diva saw me walking up the hill on my strongest sport. Oops! But I was supposed to ride my own race and not get injured, so I let it go.

The rest of the bike was easy, minus the insane crosswinds that rocked my bike out on the trail, the headwinds that fought us back up to Lake Las Vegas, and the car that pulled out in front of me in the street right in front of the cops. I almost threw a bottle at him, but decided that I couldn’t afford the abandonment penalty. After Hill #3, I was never passed again and was able to pass a few people in my age group, finishing the bike fairly strong. I was insatiably thirsty despite drinking all the liquids on my bike, but I did come into transition at 1:25 feeling pretty good.

I’m not sure how I managed to spend three whole minutes in T2. I did take time to apply sunscreen, but I didn’t even rub it in! Oh well. Room for improvement next time.

I was on pace for a 3-hour finish. Or so I thought……….

One of the pros in the race was overheard proclaiming that the run course for this race was VERY HARD and that she felt like she was running on the moon. Honey, we weren’t running on the moon. It was more akin to Dante’s 1st circle of hell, filled with the virtuous pagans and unbaptized children (you know, that’s us—Olympic virgins and those that just don’t know any better— and yes, it’s sad that this race actually invoked a Paradise Lost reference from me). Not only was there not enough water out there, but the damn course kept going up and up and out. You would look out and see little ants in the distance. Girls who were faster than you. On the course you had to run…..in the land that looked like the place in all those horror movies where college coeds’ cars break down and then some crazy cowboy in a blue pickup stalks them and chops them up? Yeah. That was like the run.

The run chewed me up and spit me out. Between the horrible stomach ache I had, the racing heart rate that refused to settle, and this overwhelming voice in my head saying “just stop trying so hard—this is torture—just walk,” I was in pretty bad shape for the first few miles. I had seen Shannon out of transition, but lost sight of her after she ran up the first hill and I ended up walking. I was pretty much alone for quite some time and just had no concept of how far I’d gone or how I’d be able to salvage the run. (Darn the Garmin for dying on me!) I walked up the hills, ran the downhills and the flats, and spent as much time as I could downing water at the aid stations and dousing myself. One of my teammates had told me to keep drinking to make my stomach feel better, and she was right. After I got out of that horrid wasteland of a course out in back of the resort, I was back in the groove. Run a mile, walk a minute. I stopped getting passed. I kept moving forward. And I kept thinking to myself, “there is no way anybody could possibly convince me to run longer in a triathlon.”

I’d just like to state that all the people at the transition area saying that the finish line was only a mile away….only six minutes away….almost there — they were wrotten and cruel liars. That was the longest mile of my life, then! It was such a tease to run through the excitement of transition only to have more race left to run. And then snaking through the village and finishing UP another freaking hill? Insanity, I tell you. But I kept running for the sake of the camera crew and because my fellow teammates had stuck around to cheer us on through the finish chute. And then it was over, and instead of crying like I thought I would, I had no emotion at all. The run had sucked my poor brain dry. I was proud that I had finished, but a little disappointed in my run and in the end, was a bit upset to see that I wasn’t as high up on the results list as I’d like to have been. I know, I’m so shallow. It just means I’ll have to train harder and focus on my newfound weaknesses so that I can hammer out Danskin and redeem myself at Pendleton!

On Saturday, I will attempt my first Olympic distance triathlon.  A year ago when I started this triathlon thing, I thought it would be a great way to get into shape and challenge myself.  I raced sprints, which are short, 1.5 hour events that require you to do a little bit of everything.  NEVER, in my wildest imagination, would I think myself capable of stepping up to Olympic, and swimming 1 mile, biking 26 miles, and running 6.2 miles.  Never!!  In fact, even though I have consistently put 2 of the 3 together in practice at that distance, I still am wondering if this is something I am capable of doing.  Darn self doubt.

The past few months have included a lot of firsts for me.  My first 3 hour bike ride.  My first 7 mile run.  My first 2 mile swim.  Each first seemed sweeter than the last, and left me feeling like I’d conquered the world, no matter how slow I actually was.  And I have to admit, I’ve been eating things I ordinarily wouldn’t dream of eating.  So even though I burn 2500 calories on a Saturday morning, I eat 1/4 of them during my ride and then probably compensate by going out to eat and demolishing everything in site.  No major weight gain, but clearly, NOT on program.

So after Saturday, I will be back on weight loss mode.  Because lighter means faster, and I have a uniform to squeeze into for the rest of the summer!

But yes, I am alive…..if anyone remembers me.

So today, I was an angel.  Oatmeal for breakfast.  Apple and banana for snack.  Measured my almonds.  Ordered a chef salad (the equivalent of 1 slice of cheese and a few slices of deli meat) and had oil & vinegar that *I* put on it for lunch.  Oh, boy, was I good.  And to top off my excellent day, I did my first 2000 meter swim set.  I’ve swum a mile before, but I’ve never gone over a mile, and certainly not after sprinting the majority of my swim time.  I was pretty darn proud of myself, I must say!

Tomorrow, hubby wants to hit the mountain bike trails and do a nice ride in the morning.  Then he wants to take photos on the beach at sunset while I get in my 4-mile aerobic run.  Sunday, I have practice, where we have a 90-minute bike ride on tap followed by a leisurely 30-minute run. 

While I may be feeling slightly guilty about my Disneyland indulgence, I’d like to think the weekend will take care of it all.  I hope.

Anyway, there’s my update.  Race day is now 9 weeks away.  Yikes!!!  I have 9 weeks to add 6 miles to my biking and 1 mile to my run.  And then to string them all together effortlessly.  I hope I can get there.

Do you know all the things you can do with Velveeta Light?

Call me low rent, but I went to town.  I cooked some lean ground turky with some taco seasoning, sauteed some fresh green peppers and onions, added a can of TJ’s salsa, cubed 3 servings of Velveeta light, and then tossed in 1/2 box of cooked whole wheat pasta….put it in the oven for a 1/2 hour, and voila!  Yummy goodness.  Now, probably 8 points a serving if I really wanted to calculate that, but that’s a heck of a lot better than Doritos and frozen pizza.  And boy, did it feel good.

Life’s been crazy lately, but I have been weighing in.  In a month, I’ve lost 2.9 lbs, am back down below goal, and am 0.8 lbs away from the 140’s!  On top of that, my triathlon training has stepped up a notch.  We can now comfortably swim a mile, bike for an hour, and run for 4 miles…..now we are learning to go longer and combine those workouts together.  So last night was my first 90-minute bike ride on my trainer — I watched a whole movie!– and tonight I hit the gym and knocked out 5 miles on the treadmill at 6.5.  A year ago, I never could have imagined it.  But now?  Piece of cake.  Both workouts were very easy and I could have gone MUCH longer.  I’m psyched!

In more exciting triathlon news, our big Olympic distance race in April is being nationally televised.  I can’t remember if I’ve discussed this here or not, but this is pretty cool.  You usually never see anything on TV aside from Ironman, so this will be different…..every day women racing a distance that Olympians compete in.  I’ve booked my hotel room, booked my flight, and I’m ready to go!  (OK, need some more training time)

So, for now, back to my Velveeta Light creation.  Because I’m in love……..

Mississippi should be ashamed of this bill.  I thought it was a joke when I was directed to the site, but I really think it might actually be legitimate.  Some idiotic lawmaker thinks that it should be against the law to serve obese people food in restaurants.  Can you believe that?  And the kicker is that BMI is used to determine obesity, and we all know what a crock of you-know-what that can be!  I am beyond annoyed by this.  One of my favorite triathlon bloggers — an Ironman triathlete — is technically obese and linked to this article.  It’s so absurd I don’t think I have any other comments.

 Well, I didn’t do the workouts in order to eat poorly.  I actually needed to get them in for my training this week because my schedule has been so chaotic.  It just so happens that hubby wanted to check out Knowlwood tonight, I had flex points, and I figured, why not?  I know I shouldn’t reward myself with food, but I was really craving salty fries and protein at the end of the day.

Got up nice and early this morning and hit the pool.  I had my workout in a Ziploc bag, so it was easy to keep track of what I needed to do.  Lots of speed intervals, an all-out timed 500 meter for our coach to gauge our fitness levels, and then a nice slow, long 1000 meters.  It was so great to be in the pool again and to hammer out an excellent workout.

I came home and then took my new bike on its maiden voyage.  It was only in the neighborhood because I was breaking in my new pedals, but it was slick!!  I love my new bike.

Hubby wanted to do a run this afternoon, so we hopped in the car and went to my favorite park that has a 1.3 mile loop that’s 1/2 on a mulched path, and 1/2 on asphalt.  I had to do a run that adds 10% to my current distance, so that meant I needed to do 4.4 miles.  We also needed to do some speed pickups in the middle, so I alternated between SLOW and fast for the whole 45 minutes.  I was exhausted by the end, but I got in my run and increased my distance.  I’ve never run farther, and I’m closing in on 5 miles!  I need to get up to 6.2 for my race.

So that’s my scoop.  I’ve abandoned the Abs Diet because I just don’t have time to make smoothies all the time, and found that all the nuts were leading me astray in the calorie side of things.  I’m all WW, and I’m happy!  (Finally — what a week)

Anyway, I’m still alive.  I’m still on program.  I’m just lacking in the time department and haven’t had anything too thought-provoking to blog about.  Maybe tomorrow?

MY DARN WRAP WAS 390 CALORIES!!!!!

I’m feeling like crying right now.  Here I am, still hungry, and out of points for the rest of the day.  My knees hurt, but now I HAVE to go out on my run because I’ve used my flex points up on Thursday and Friday.

Good grief.  I could smack them for switching the wraps.  Bite me, Subway.  You stink!

Thank goodness for my coworker.  She was gung-ho about going and gave me the extra push I needed to get out the door and into that meeting.  And lo and behold, I was down 1.2 this week!  Hey, at this point, I will take it.  If it takes me 10 weeks to drop 10 lbs, it takes 10 weeks.  I can handle this.

This is why going to meetings is important.  When you stop, the mad cycle of “maybe next week I’ll lose enough to go back” begins and it’s vicious and difficult to get out of.  So step out the door and go, even if you think you’ll get bad news.  It doesn’t hurt as bad as we sometimes think it will.