Taking the Reins

Yes, it is ironic…..the day I decide I desperately need to get back on program and start tracking again, I come to our community and there’s my blog, “in need of support.”  Roni, you can say that again. 

It’s funny, because lack of exercise is not my problem.  It’s learning to balance properly fueling my body with my training.   My training program is cyclical, so in one week I may burn 8000 calories, and in another, down to 2500.  Yet I continue to eat as though I were burning 8000 calories, and then the pounds pack on.  Want to know the facts?  Well, back in January, I decided to train for an Olympic distance triathlon.  I got down to 150 lbs through a month of WW (1 lb. below goal, although I was 141 for my wedding and 145 for an entire year after).  I am now fully trained, 156 lbs, but have lost 1/2 inch in my thighs, chest, hips, waist, and bicep.  Tell me this is not cruel!  So while everything I own still manages to fit, I find that the extra weight has packed onto my body and I have this stomach POOCH that is quite possibly larger than it was when I started triathlon nearly a year ago.

I’m devastated.  The extra weight makes me feel very self conscious, and a part of me feels as though I am losing control.  I never thought I’d end up above my goal weight again, let alone 5 lbs. over it.  It scares me to think that I’m only a few lbs away from somewhere I swore I’d never, ever be again.  Petrifies me.

So I am trying to take it all back and get on the wagon again, but it has been hard.  Being able to eat everything I wanted to was not a good influence on me.   Now I feel deprived.  Hungry.  Tired.  But I need to stick with it, because my weight is in the one place that jeopardizes my health…….I need to make it disappear so that I can keep a healthy heart.  (And get faster!!!) 

Anyway, to start being accountable, here is my food log for yesterday.  I’ve got an Achilles injury, so my training is pretty sad right now.  20 minutes on the trainer and I was shot yesterday!