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Over to the new blog community that Roni created. From now on all new posts will be in my new home

Whoa Nelly!!!!!!!! What the hell did I do today? Now before I tell you how much I ate and you see the proof let me preface this by saying that we went to a restaurant and I am totally guesstimating with that meal, although I don’t think I’m too far off since I did have 2 glasses of lemonade and we shared the spinach and artichoke dip that was served with bread instead of crackers or chips and I totally forgot to ask for dressing ON THE SIDE when I ordered my salad.My only saving grace is that I worked out twice today and we did walk a bit. Looking back, I didn’t need the PowerBar but they were giving them away free at the event that we were at and at the time that I ate it, I had no idea that we would be eating a meal less than 1 hour later. I also realize that I didn’t need to gorge myself of fucking popcorn, but it was the old school Jiffy Pop that you cook on the stove and I love that kind. I also didn’t need to eat so much bread at dinner but oh well it’s over with now and tomorrow I will have to actually get my ass on the elliptical so that I don’t slowly begin to blow up and no longer fit into my clothes. The good thing about getting back into logging all y my food is that I realize that even though it didn’t feel like I ate very much, clearly I could have made some better choices.

So with that here is today’s damage for ALL TO SEE!
(click images to enlarge)
2470 calories! OMG!!! I typically eat that in 2 days.

Today’s exercise:

WOOHOO, I so need to stick to this. I realized yesterday that I have shrunk and I’m finally starting to see the skinny me again instead of the fat me that had moved in temporarily. The only problem is that I noticed the skinny me is also a squishy me. My legs are great, doing stairs daily has really made a difference, and my arms are slowly toning back up thanks to belly dance but I have a soft center and it ain’t pretty. I had on some yoga pants and a fitted tee on Wednesday and felt a little sausagy which I hate. I hate seeing my belly button through my t-shirt. I rally hope that I can stick to doing abs 3x a week. It really isn’t very much so we shall see.

As for my personal monthly goal for the challenge. I want to do 1850 minutes of cardio. In March I did 1783 minutes and in April I did 1612 (the husband was sick so we couldn’t take any weekend walks) but I went and had a New Leaf Test done at the gym on Wednesday and am supposed to add 3 days of cardio to my routine, 15 minutes each day and I need to track my heart rate so that I can burn more fat longer. As of right now my Active Metabolic Rate is good as long as my HR stays between 110 -139, at that rate I am bu ring 3.5 fat calories for ever 4.5 minutes worked, which is pretty good, especially since I seem to stay in that range for most of the exercises I do (walking, stair climbing and dance), but the higher my HR goes the lower the ratio goes so the goal is to get me burning the most fat all the time in order to lose more weight. I still don’t get what all the numbers mean but I was glad to know that for now and the exercise that I am doing, that I am burning fat the entire time I am working out. This definitely explains why I can eat crap and not really gain but it also explains why I haven’t been able to loose anymore. So I need to cut the crap and sweat some more LOL.

The exact numbers from the Active Metabolic Training test were:
HR: 110-139, 3.5 cal fat for every 4.5 mins = good
HR: 139-151, 4 cal fat for every 6.6 mins = pretty good
HR: 151-159, 3.7 cal fat for every 7.3 mins = eh
HR: 159-169, 2.1 cal fat for every 8.9 mins = not so much

And just in case I haven’t already bored you with my stats, here is my food from today…

And of course my exercise. I’m a little bummed that for an hour and a half hula class the teacher decided to talk about Lei Day for like an hour and so we only got to dance for 30 minutes. I did learn something new, but I wanted to DANCE! Good thing I decided to be crazy and do 3 sets of stair climbing instead of the usual 2!

Seriously, when my routine is out of wack so is what I eat. Thursday and Friday I had to get up at the asscrack of dawn in order to get to work by 7:30/7:45am, I typically get in just before 9am. You see, there was this big meeting with out of country guests and I was in charge of getting things set up (typical admin shit) like food and snacks. I also got the glamorous job of cleaning up in between meals to make room for the next one (1 conference room all day long) which mean left overs. Now, we have extra/left over/free food ALL THE TIME and for the most part I can say no but for some reason, last week I took it as an opportunity to eat like crap and in turn feel like crap. Sometimes I think I do it to myself to remind myself what eating shitfood will do to you. These are the effed up mind games I play with myself.

I also realized the importance and downfall of eating something first thing in the morning. Getting up so early totally threw my clock off. Typically I eat breakfast around 9 or 9:30am unless I have a glass of milk at home before leaving for the office (I love milk). Since I couldn’t wait till 9 or 9:30am I ate before 9, usually a WW shake or banana or something totally healthy. Then I was hungry again at 10:30, and it was around that time or shortly thereafter that it was time to clear out breakfast from the conference room. There were left over bagels both days with cream cheese. Now I RARELY eat bagels and even more rarely do I eat regular cream cheese. Yet somehow lack of sleep made me eat bagels both days WITH regular cream cheese. On Thursday I ate a whole bagel (WTF?!), by Friday I had gotten half a clue and only hate half. On Thursday I also ate some left over Thai noodles with chicken, twice. Yes twice, because there was so much left over that I took some home for dinner to share with the husband so that we didn’t have to cook. I also had juice that day and a cookie and a piece of chocolate. Needless to say I was feeling gross. Friday I at the half a bagel but also had a Boudin sandwich with that evil bread that I love so much, and then bread from another sandwich - no mean just half the bread, and some chips, OH and  a Mountain Dew, regular not diet, because I was so freaking tired and didn’t want coffee in the middle of the day. That night we ordered Chinese and for dessert I had a brownie and some yummy chocolate from Switzerland that the out of town business guests had given me. All the while I was completely aware of the fact that I was eating crap. The good thing is that I WAS aware and I never stuffed myself, but god did I feel like shit.

Each night I thought about why I did what I did and the only thing that I could come up with was that my routine was thrown off and shit food was convenient and lack of sleep made me too lazy to go and by my own food, because we all know FREE is better. The good thing is that other than missing dance class on Thursday night due to exhaustion, I did do stairs and my walk on Friday so I was exercising which I hope counter balanced things. Oh and on top of the lack of sleep and thrown off routine TOM was here and cravings aside, I really think it messes with your head and ability to make rational decisions, because I really do know better than to eat shit 2 days in a row. Needless to say my weight spiked again, clearly due to carbs and sodium, but this morning I woke up and am back in the 134s comfort zone. THANK YOU WATER and thank you Tom for exiting the premises.

So next time you go on a bender try to assess the situation, so that if nothing else, you can be aware of why the scale goes up and how it makes you feel and nip things in the bud or at least recognize the signs that you are about to have a temporary lapse in food judgement and know that you will be back to normal soon.

Yesterday was much better, not great but clearly not so bad since I woke up lighter. I do need more F&V though, I know its contributing to my inability to go below 134. Maybe I’ll go grocery shopping today so that we can have a yummy and healthy meal.

I got to go to my WW meeting again today, that’s twice in one month. Not sure if I had mentioned this before or not, but right after I made Lifetime status our departmental staff meetings changed and conflicted with my WW meetings so I couldn’t attend regularly like before and I can only attend when our staff meetings are cancelled. Well this month I got lucky and 2 staff meetings were cancelled so I got to attend my WW meeting last week and this week. Since I’m not longer there weekly, I see new people at the meetings every time I do go (it’s the at work program). Today there was a lady who I’ve worked with in the past but never knew I had weight issues. And really, if you met me IRL in the past 4 years and didn’t know me prior to my surgery, then you probably wouldn’t think that I was fat. But for me personally, I was pushing the double digit clothing size and that was always my cue that I was no longer thin. I’m only 5′5 according to all the charts I have a small frame so a size 4 or 6 are exactly where I need to be to look good, feel good and be healthy and it is exactly where I was from age 18 until, well 4 years ago. Not too thin (IMO) and not fat.

So when the lady sees me she says,
“You’re the last person I would ever expect to see at a Weight Watcher meeting. I always looked at you and wanted to be you.” Now on the one hand I was totally flattered but also embarrassed. It also made me think of Diana’s comment the other day in my 1 year WW anniversary post.

Even though I was “thin” for most of my life I’ve always had body image issues (and some eating disorders). I remember being in Jr. High and my best friend was thinner than I was, or so I thought. She was also a good 3-5 inches shorter than I was so of course she wore a size 3, she was tiny, but since I could not fit into a 3, I thought I was fat. You see, I was a size 5. Sure laugh, but at 12/13 body image issues are just beginning. I was never lean, or muscular so I always had some extra skin that would pouch out when I’d sit down, only at that time I thought it was fat, not just skin. I was also built differently than that bff and the other one I had in high school, who was also a size 3 but only 2 inches shorter than I was. Only back then I didn’t understand how bones and shape played a part in size. Skinny or fat I fall into the hourglass category. I have no ass, but I have hips and a waist and boobage. Those hips are what have always kept me from being anythign smaller than a size 4. You can lose fat and inches but your bones don’t shrink.

In looking at old pictures I was thin from about puberty until age 16 after getting my first job and thinking that a pint of Hagen Daz was a good lunch (multiple times a week), I went from a size 5/7 to a size 12 in a year and was horrified. Then at age 17 I had a horrible breakup with my 1st boyfriend and went into starvation mode. In one month I went from a size 12 to a size 4 and then managed to get healthy and stay at a size 4/6 until late 2004 (pre surgery). I was mortified when I realized that I had gone from a 4/6 to an 8. I was in serious denial about it. My eating hadn’t changed that much but I had stopped dancing. Who knew dancing on a regular basis would let me eat what I wanted without gaining? Well it took me a good 3 years to come to grips with my fattness and that is when I joined WW. Even at my first meeting I was thinner than most of the members, but I knew I belonged there. According to WW I was still in the “healthy range” but for me, I was out of my comfort zone. 8 months later I was back in my 6s and I made my goal and I still go to meetings.

Just because I met my goal doesn’t mean I don’t belong at the meetings. Just because other members call me “skinny” doesn’t mean don’t belong at the meetings. Where am I going with all this? Just because I didn’t have 50+ pounds to lose doesn’t mean that I haven’t faced some of the same challenges that truly overweight people face. I had some unhealthy habits, I had some portion distortion. I felt fat and gross and ugly. I hated shopping, I hated pictures and I hated that I got winded doing something like walking up stairs. And I hated that food had gotten the best of me. So next time you see a “thin” girl at a WW meeting or on the street or wherever you are (the cafe, at a buffet, reaching for that candy bar or chips) don’t think that she doesn’t struggle to stay that way. Just because she is eating at the same place or even the same thing, She could very well just be blessed, but more than likely she too has body image issues and struggles to stay “thin” so don’t disregard her just because she fits more of what is considered “ideal.” Don’t think that she has it easy and can eat whatever she wants.

I never thought of myself as thin or skinny, I was either fat or regular. When I started WW I was fat, now I’m almost back to regular. I’ve started dancing again and fortunately for me, it works. My body likes it, and I can do it for hours and never think of it as exercise, it is fun and so I keep doing it, and that is what is allowing me to eat the “bad stuff,” but I still measure everything and I count calories and points and I think about everything that goes into my mouth. So just because some of you may see me or others my size as “thin” don’t think that we don’t know or understand what it means to gain weight and struggle to lose weight and keep it off.

Thanks to the amazing Tina I now have the ability to take screen shots of my SP food logs too! Unfortunately I have yet to figure out how to capture the screen and scroll down at the same time so that I get everything in one shot (guess I eat too many things) but oh well, I got it all anyway. SO here it is people. Day 1 wiht my new talent. Clearly not the best day but whatever Tom is here and I can’t turn down free Chinese frood from this particular place. It’s not a chain so these calories are total guesses based on what SP has listed. At least I got in an hour and 45 minutes of exercise to hopefully off set it a little.

Exactly 1 year ago today I joined WW at 149.4 pounds. .6 away from the max that I could weigh and still be considered “healthy” by WW standards (possibly others too but I only know the WW ones). 8 months after joining I made Lifetime and had lost roughly 15 pounds depending upon the day. I met my goal of fitting into my size 6s again and on a good day I can even wear a 4 again!
When I started WW I was a nice and plump size 8 (not saying size 8 is a plump size, but I sure was) possibly even pushing the dreaded double digits. But I stuck with it, and blogged my nonexistent ass off and here I am a year later still at goal. And you know what, I still struggle. I have my great days and my off days but no matter what, I have no lost site of the importance of health and being aware of what I eat and how much I move.
(comparison pics in private blog if you have access)

I’d still like to lose another 7 pounds (those damn 7 that I have been talking about since last Fall) but all in all I’m happy with how far I’ve come and the fact that I’ve maintained the same weight (roughly) since October and I have not tracked since like November. Not bad if you ask me.

Happy Anniversary to me!

1. I have an amazing husband who adores me and supports me and believes in me, and he things I’m perfect no matter what
2. I have a great family even if we are slightly dysfunctional
3. I really do have great skin and I get compliments on it all the time
4. I’m smart and funny (even if I do unintentionally make people laugh when I’m trying to be serious)
5. I have great hair even on the crazy Medusa days
6. I am strong and determined
7. I have a good job at a great company
8. I live in a nice house in the city, who cares if we rent
9. I have a nice car and many others with potential (my husband is a gear head remember)
10. I want many things but don’t really need anything
11. I am rich in many ways even if money isn’t one of them
12. I have the cutest doggie ever and he loves me just for being me
13. I have a great mom even if she does still try to suffocate me with love, control things and be super nosey, she means well and really does love me the most (shhh don’t tell my sisters =P)
14. Overall I am healthy. Sure I have some weird, “uncommon for my age/gender” “disorders” but I’m not going to die from any of them
15. I don’t have many IRL friends, but the few I have are always there for me, even when I torture them or ignore them
16. I’m a pretty lucky person. Mom always said I was born under a lucky star
17. I lost weight and met 1 of 2 goals dammit! I CAN do anything!!!
18. I don’t give up
19. I’m very creative and talented
20. I’m a dancer, a real dance, not just one who dances but a dancer. I’m now the girl who I used to always admire in class. That’s me!
21. I can do anything if I set my mind to it (within reason of course, I still can’t fly or have x-ray vision, I’m close to reading minds but sometimes it requires me to really stare and it makes people uncomfortable so I can only do it with people I really know)
22. I survived cancer dammit!
23. I’m a bit of a know it all, but I like to share my knowledge so it’s not a bad thing
24. I love learning, about all sorts of things as long as I am learning something new, I love it!
25. I’m beautiful inside and out (I need to start reminding myself of this daily)
26. Did I mention my wonderful husband? He needs to be on here twice because he really is the best! And he is handsome and has amazing eyes. Remember that line from “Fools Rush In,” “you’re everything I never knew, I always wanted.” I thought I knew what I wanted until I met him and realized that he was what I wanted and so much more. He really has made me a better person.
27. I’m a nice person
28. I learn new things extremely fast (except if numbers are involved) and because of my perfectionist nature I’m pretty good at them once I learn, or at least I try really hard to be
29. I may be UBER girly but I can and have worked on cars with my husband, AND I’m good at it, who knew. Yup, nails and all people
30. I like helping people
31. I have some really great on line friends. It may sound creepy or dorky but over the years I have met some amazing people via message boards and support groups and this blog and I am grateful for that.

Ok, that’s all I can come up with for now. Yup, I tooted my own horn and you know what, I feel great now! I need to remember this post for when I start to feel down.

Now it’s your turn. Make a list about why you are great, anything and everything positive about you. Toot your horn, pat your back, scream it from the roof tops. We all have reasons to be happy and things that makes us unique and amazing and strong and kick ass. So list yours! Do it NOW! And then tell me you did it so that I can read it.

Tina called me out in a comment so here I am to let y’all know what is going on.

Lots going on right now that isn’t really weight related at all which is why I haven’t posted or commented much. I do miss you guys but right now I’m trying to just deal with things and it’s tough.
Some of you know that we are “trying” and things aren’t going so well. Celebrating 4 years of being cancer free is wonderful but also a reminder about why I had the surgery that I had and that it still isn’t very common and the data for pregnancies after a laparoscopic radical trachelectomy is still limited. I’ve been googling my ass off trying to find new data and still nothing. I did find a message board/support network earlier this week and there are a few other women on there that have had the same surgery and have the exact “unexplained” post ovulation spotting (sorry TMI) . Not much info there but at least I know that I am not alone and in can in fact be a “side effect” of the surgery. This has also pushed me to make an appointment with my oncologist to try and get some answers. What sucks is that the actual oncologist who performed my surgery has gone back to practice in Canada, although the power of google and my stalkerish abilities (see Tina they come in handy on so many levels) helped me locate her as well so I will be emailing her this week in hopes to get some answers.
I was REALLY hoping that this was our month and it’s not and it is really starting to affect me more than I want. I am turning into that “must have baby” obsessed women that I never wanted to be. I’m sure my regular ob/gyn’s office is wondering how to screen my calls since I call at least 3-4 times a month with questions and requests for tests. I want to know what is wrong with me if anything. The good thing is that because of my surgery I’m somewhat of an “experiment” (at least I feel that way) so the doctor is willing to run the tests without having to wait the usual time frame. The good news is that so far everything is fine. Great, finally I’m “normal” yet still nada and no reason for the weird cycle bleeding (I told you T.M.I.). There’s more but I don’t want to bore you all.
I have been exercising and am now at 23 out of 26 days of exercise (walking, stairs, dance, DVDs) and I really think that my body is finally remembering what it was like to be constantly doing something because it is letting me eat shit that I wouldn’t dare eat 6 months ago. Of course I need to control it again because I feel like I’m getting too lax. Oh, and I realized, I’m not a closet stress eater, I’m just a don’t give a shit, get lazy eater when I get stressed. I don’t necessarily pig out, but I allow myself to eat things I wouldn’t normally eat, almost like a punishment because I usually end up feeling sick afterwards. Wow, this journey is never ending when it comes to learning new things about myself.
I realized today that I am eating and craving carbs like they are going out of style and that is NOT GOOD. So tomorrow I am going to focus on eating LOTS of protein, especially because the scale decided to show me a number today that i haven’t seen in a long time. I’m still wearing my 6s so I’m sure it’s water, especially since TOM is here and let me just tell you that I was eating salty foods like no tomorrow last week, and I wasn’t drinking all my water.

Now that I’ve started dancing again I’m contemplating adding more classes to my week which would mean 4 times a week instead of 2. The husband is totally supportive, so if I can bring myself to justifying $60 a week for 2 months and ways to make healthy dinners in advance that only require a quick warm up, I may be dancing my hips off come April (hips not bootay, cuz I got no bootay to dance off, it’s just not there to begin with). I would be taking 2 Flamenco classes (one workshop and one ongoing), a hula workshop, and a belly dance workshop. That would take me to 4.5 hours of dance a week which is about half of what I used to do about 6 years ago.

Now I’m just rambling. I need to reevaluate things, my google reader cuz it stresses me out, what my focus is with my weight cuz I’m stuck people, I can’t get under 134 and it’s driving me nuts, and of course my situation because I fucking hate living in 2 week increments and I want some answers. I’m glad that I have my health and an amazing husband who is supportive of all my decisions but I hate not knowing what is going on with my body.

Okay, time to go see what it was that Tina tagged me with :).

I thought this was a great blog post by Coach Nicole from Spark People. She talks about having a strong core but not necessarily a 6 pack. Totally makes sense to me. My core definitely needs more strengthening but even at it’s strongest I always had a layer of fat that did not allow any definition to show through.

I finally have my house back! I was seriously about to loose my damn mind. This was the first time I have ever experienced having a house guest and the first time for this long for the husband. Let’s just say that after this experience we have agreed that there is a 2 night MAX at “Casa S.”

I am a creature of habit, I do not like people in my space and I DO NOT like my routine to be disrupted. I’ve always known all these things, but I thought that it would be okay to open our house to someone. WRONG! I had hit my max by Monday morning, which was by the 3 night/2 day mark (he arrived Friday night). The boy was/is very sweet and not a typical teenager by any means, at least not based on stories I’ve heard. For the most part he was quiet and didn’t eat too much, not disruptive or disrespectful but his atrocious table manners and lack of hygiene drove me up the fucking wall!

You know how some people just have an aura about them that rubs you the wrong way, well I think it was one of those situations. Again, good kid, but just not my cup of tea.
Now maybe I’m just super anal about hygiene but showering every other day is just NOT acceptable to me, it’s gross. I don’t care if it can dry out your skin, that is what lotion is for and staying hydrated with water. You can remedy dry skin, but body funk happens and no amount of perfume or deodorant can make up for a shower! And the eating, OMG I question if his parents ever taught him how to eat at a table more or less in public. He chewed with his mouth open making a smacking sound, my dog has better manners than that! He used his fingers instead of a knife or serving utensil and would proceed to lick them instead of using a napkin, he held the fork/spoon like a shovel and shoveled food into his mouth and he drank from the soup bowl at a restaurant! I wanted to fucking die! Oh yea and he burped at the table and drank everything from his glass with a straw until it made that horrible sound. I was so incredibly grossed out that I cringed at the thought of eating another meal with him yet we had to. I wanted to scream every time I heard that smacking sound. Who does that, or better yet, who does that and doesn’t know or realize that no one else does that so maybe it’s BAD MANNERS! Since this was really only about the 4th time I’d seen this cousin I didn’t feel right disciplining him, not to mention, oh yea, his parents are pacifists so there isn’t much of that at home either, at least not the kind if discipline I grew up with.

I was on my nerves last nerve all last week, dreading going home another night but I knew I had to. He stayed with us for 9 fucking nights/days! Oh yea, and his parents had never bothered to call before hand to make sure it was still okay or even to offer to send us some type of compensation for taking in their teenage son for over a week. I realize we live in the city and have a nice house and make good money (they live in a very RURAL SMALL town) and might give the illusion that we have our shit together and money to throw around, but come on, at least offer something to the people who are taking care of your kid for over a week. Nope, nothing, nada. They finally called yesterday morning to say thank you but come one people? We’re not in the habit of taking in strays. And yes, I realize we are family, and the only ones the boy knew in CA but again, where are the manners or courtesy? Or am I just totally out of touch? I have no idea, but I do know that I am fucking beyond slap my ass silly happy, that he is gone and I have my house to myself again! I can finally enjoy a meal with civilized people who know how to eat in public.

Yea so that was my week. Oh and OP, what is that? We ate out every single night except one. And if we didn’t eat out, we ordered in. I had…
Mexican
Pizza
Spanish Tapas
Chinese
Left over Chinese
Indian Pizza
Thai
Japanese

I am however proud to say that the scale has not shown more than a 2 pound gain and I know some of it is water because of all the sodium. Good to know I can have a completely OFF week and still not really gain. I am sick of eating out so last night, when finally alone, we cooked a nice home cooked meal, just the 2 of us. A yummy garlic ginger chicken and I will share the super simple recipe later on.

Once again my life is back to “normal” what ever the hell that is. But I do know that it means me and the hubby ALONE with no one else around to agitate my dots and make me want to scream or anyone extra eating my fucking Kashi bars! Yea, did I mention that by Friday he was feeling comfortable and started to help himself to the food in the cabinets. Have I mentioned that I HATE when people touch my shit? Oh and anyone who is thinking “just wait till you have kids,” yea, they will know the house rules and consequences if they are broken, AND they will know manners and how to act if they ever visit anyone. I grew up with strict parents and turned out just fine so I plan to do the same

(I posted this in my myspace blog and wanted to share here too). I will update more after things go back to normal at home…)

Sometimes I still can’t believe it but it’s true, but 4 years ago today I had surgery for cervical cancer and have been cancer free ever since! I am very fortunate to have such great doctors and even though 2004 was a tough year, I made it through with the support doctors, family and friends. For the women who read this PLEASE be sure to get check ups on an annual basis, regardless of what you may hear or read, had I not gone annually I may not have been so lucky since the cancer appeared a year after a perfectly normal exam. Had I listened to the media and only gone every other year because of my history of healthy exams they wouldn’t have been able to catch the cancer in the beginning stages and things could have been worse. And for any guys who decide to read this, please pass the info on to the women in your lives.

Cervical Cancer is not genetic and can be treated when caught in time. There are so many treatments available that there is no need for women to continue to die from this. For more information on about cervical cancer click here.

Sorry if I got too heavy there for a minute, but it’s not something I talk about very often and it’s times like today that I realize how lucky I am. The good news is that the cancer has not come back and I have been totally fine since AND I only have1 year left of having to go in for 3 month follow-up visits. Ladies, I’m sure you can imagine my joy. Those who know me personally are probably aware of the other complications that I had after the initial surgery, and the good news is that my leg has pretty much been back to normal since ’05. I’ve been back in my 4″ heels for a few years and after a 4 year break from dancing I finally started taking classes again! This time around it’s Hula and Flamenco although I am contemplating going back to Belly Dance again soon.

Just for the week. We have a house guest and it is totally throwing off my norm. I’m a creature of habit and don’t do well with others in my space, but its my husband’s little cousin who needed a place to spend his Spring Break while doing a semester her in CA. He’s a good kid but to go from a couple to suddenly having a 16 yo in your house is weird. He’s not a typical 16 year old either, I think he’s like 16 going on 33 or something. He’s not giving us any grief, but it’s throwing off my whole groove big time.
I will still be doing the Exercise Challenge but I don’t think I’ll be posting much this week. Thanks for the notes regarding the root canal. It ended up not happening. The dentist said that the xrays didn’t pinpoint the source of my pain and he didn’t want to just go in and do surgery that wasn’t needed. The bad news is that I need to watch the 2 back teeth in case things get worse.
I’ll try to read some blogs when I get a chance, but I’m in a bit of a funk since my world is all out of wack right now.

Still dancing and doing stairs and walking during lunch and doing my best with food, although it is NOT going so well since we’ve eaten out a bunch since Friday.

Hope everyone has a great week!

It is for me because I’m off tomorrow so that I can have a root canal. I swear I’ve been off by a day all week. So the Friday Funny should actually be Thursday.

I’ve started so many posts in the past week, but then I never finish them. So this one may be really random but I’m going to try and just post a couple things.

First off I want to compare January and February #s. You all know that I weigh every day right? Well, I also both use google15 and Roni’s graph to help with my #s obsession. For as much as my weight fluctuates day to day, it seems that I truly am maintaining. Which is great, except for the fact that I still want to lose.

Starting weight January 2, 2008 - 136.4
Ending weight January 31, 2008 - 134.8
Lowest weight in January - 133
Highest weight in January - 137
Overall +/- for January - +.2

Starting weight February 1, 2008 - 134.6
Ending weight February 29, 2008 - 135.6
Lowest weight in February - 134
Highest weight in February - 136.8
Overall +/- for for February - +1

We have started the March Exercise Challenge in our Spark Team, only this month we are stepping it up a bit with a group challenge along with everyones individual goals.
We are doing an ab challenge for the entire month which includes 10 planks a day, 5 days a week and Weighted Side Bends, 30 on each side 5 days a week. I vote for/suggested 5 days a week with 2 days off, mainly because the 2 exercises combined will take 10-15 max and everyone voted for abs so why not kick it into high gear and get ready for Summer.

The challenge starts tomorrow so if anyone is interested you can still join us as long as you comment or email me by 10pm PST tonight so that I can add you to the team (it’s a private group on SP).

Last weekend I made 2 new meals, Creamy Pesto with Turkey Balls (5 pts) and Nachos Sin Carne (7pts). Click on the links for the full recipes.


Yesterday I did over 3 hours (220 minutes) of exercise throughout the day and loved it!

• Walk to and from Flamenco class - 10 minutes total
• Flamenco class - 60 minutes
• Hula Buns & abs DVD - 30 minutes
• Approx. 6 mile walk with the husband - 120 minutes

Lastly, I’m sure everyone has seen either the latest HG’s newsletter or the commercials about the calories in Glacéau VitaminWater. Well I found a cheaper alternative at Costco. They call theirs Vita Rain and it has 0, that’s ZERO, calories per serving/bottle and it tastes pretty much the same as far as I’m concerned.

Typically when I feel emotional I stop eating. Shit, that’s how I lost like 30+ pounds as a teen and went from a 12 to a 4. Something big happens and my body shuts down. When I’m sad, I stop eating, when I get angry I stop eating, a happy occasion and again not so much about the food but yesterday I caught myself.

I was doing soso, and then my friend called and gave me some great news that I had mixed feelings about. It was so hard to be happy for her because of how her news affected me but I managed. I did however suddenly find myself thinking “fuck it!”
I had my salad from Boudin and was contemplating the cookie, remember? Well, after her and I got off the phone I took a bite, luckily it wasn’t good so I spit it back out and tossed it. Then I looked around, saw the chips that I had actually set aside for my coworker who is a chipaholic, and said “FUCK IT,” and ate them. Now with the amount of food that I have been ordering these days, there have been chips a plenty and I have resisted the urge, by giving them to my coworker, but yesterday I was stressed out and upset at the same time. The news was like a punch in the gut and I didn’t know what to do. Now, I did want the chips before my friend called, but I told myself that they were for S. So it’s not like I just reached for the first thing. Between the bread, caesar dressing and chips I felt gross and bloated, not to mention I was drinking water like it was going out of style. Then later around 3:30pm more food appeared. Middle Eastern maza type, one of my favs! At first I said no thank you to the person that offered me some, but once I went to help clean up I saw it and grabbed a falafel, some tabuleh and about 2 TBS of garlic potatoes. WTF was I thinking? Again, not feeling so well. It was at that point that I said to myself “I’m a closet stress eater!” Now I can’t think of many other times that I have done this, but it’s definitely something that I need to be aware of.
Needless to say, yesterday was not a good day, except for hula class.

On to better things…
Last night was the first class and I loved it. I realize that I do much better with dances that require me to be barefoot and move my hips LOL, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not going to pursue my Flamenco classes. My shoes arrived in the mail today so I have then just in time for class tomorrow. That’s about it for my week. I’ll post my food and goal update in a separate post, once I get it all together.

I’m pretty computer savvy but have yet to familiarize myself with technorati. I have seen links to it before but what is the point of it and is there a way to remove your blog from it? I tried googling it and will continue to do so but wanted to see if any of you out there know?
I love the internet and how accessible everything is but is there a way to have a public blog without having it picked up by sites like technorati or feeds or google blog search?

Last week some random dude posted a comment (on this blog, not my private one which is the duplicate of this, but includes personal pictures and super personal stuff) on how he found me on technorati and added me to his RSS feed, I clicked on his site and it’s a fucking advertising blog.

Today a chick leaves a comment saying that she found me on google blog search and has added me to her RSS feed, I click on her link and it’s a fucking addiction site. Her comment was on my previous post about me and bread. So because I mention crack and addiction in a post about my fiucking lunch and love of bread she finds me. What the fuck!?!

So once again I feel violated and freaked out. Yea, yea, I know, that’s what I get for having a public blog. But does this happen to anyone else or do I just attract the nutjobs?

I’ve been enjoying my new readers, especially the ones from the Healthy You Challenge but come on people. THIS IS A WEIGHT LOSS BLOG!!!!!!! No advertising, no drugs. no fucking addiction.

Sorry but I’m really pissed and irritated and contemplating the stictly private blog, once again.

I freaking LOVE bread. That’s all there is to it. Remember a couple weeks ago when I ate too much bread? Well the other admin is on medical leave and I am all alone to support the whole fricken department. So far it hasn’t been horrible but damn there are a lot of lunch meetings, which means I have been ordering lunch every damn day and eating leftovers. Tuesday I had a sandwich with BREAD. And not just any bread but Boudin bread. Which if you’ve ever had it, you know its like the best shit out there in terms of true SF sourdough bread. Well guess what I’m having today? A Boudin salad with BREAD! AND, you know what? I’m dipping it in some caesar dressing. It’s like fucking crack I tell ya. Not that I’ve ever done crack or any other drug for that matter but I’ve heard it’s addicting, just like this bread! So really, my addiction could be worse right? Oh, wait, did I mention that the salad had croutons. Little bits of seasoned, crunchy sourdough goodness! Damn you Boudin for making such YUMMY shit!

At least I am eating a salad though so that will help, plus I already did morning stairs AND I’m going to Hula tonight so I should be okay.

Ok, that’s all for now. I just had to share my inner bread deamons with you. Oh, my salad came with a cookie too. I haven’t even looked at it yet, but I’m hoping that it is a gross one that I can easily dispose of without guilt. Otherwise I may have to take a bite and then toss it.

DAMN YOU lunch meetings!!!!!!!!!

1. Not much to report today but I will post my food yesterday since I accidentally fell asleep in the middle of posting. I did 2 sets of stairs and had a little over 15 glasses of water! I’ll post more later today.

   Once again the totals

   Goals for the week:
   1. Log and post daily food even if I eat out and can’t figure out the calories/points. CHECK!
   2. Exercise - 3 things other than daily stairs. Minimum of 20 minutes in 1 session in order to count. Not yet but I did do 2 sets of stairs so I moved.
   3. Post this exercise in the SP Challenge group and include it in my daily food grid Oops, I forgot
   4. Detox - STOP eating the crap and go back to eating healthy Half CHECK (I had half a cookie today)
   5. Drink 12 glasses of water a day CHECK, I drank 15!!!

Nothing too exciting to post about today. I went to Costco and found a couple of cook foods. Then I came home. Allergies are still kicking my ass. I’ve slacked on my herbs so it is taking linger than it should to get rid of them. The good thing is that my sinuses have been spaired but my nose is running a 5K. I did buy yet another DVD while at Costco. It’s claled the 12 second sequence with Jorge Cruise. It is 2 exercise DVDs plus a bonus coaching one (that should be intersting) for $14.99. It claoms to shrink your waist in 2 weeks with just 2 20 minute workouts a week. We shall see!

I wanted to exercise today, I really did. I thought about it so much but I’m just not up to it. When my face is leaking the last thing I want to do is exert extra energy tha tmay cause me to sweat. No biggie though since my goal is not daily exercise but 3 things (that means times in my weird head lingo).

Speaking of goals let’s see how I did…

1. Goals for the week:
   Log and post daily food even if I eat out and can’t figure out the calories/points. CHECK!
2. Exercise - 3 things other than daily stairs. Minimum of 20 minutes in 1 session in order to count. Not yet
3. Post this exercise in the SP Challenge group and include it in my daily food grid CHECK even though I did not exercise
4. Detox - STOP eating the crap and go back to eating healthy Half CHECK (I had corn nuts today)
5. Drink 12 glasses of water a day CHECK!!!

Not too shabby if I do say so myself.

For dinner tonight we tried the HG’s Boneless Chicken Wings. I had seen these on the HG site when they were first posted but it wasn’t until AJ posted about them that I really wanted to try them. With the exception of making about 3 times as much as the original recipe I actually followed the recipe exactly. Ok, well not EXACTLY, we didn’t have any FF chips so I used 1 oz from the “tub-o-chips” that I told you aboutlast week. Based on how much we made it worked out to 4 good sized servings and 6pts a serving. All in all they were good but kinda dry. The husband rated them a 5.75 on a scale of 10. With 1 being my meatless buffalo wings (he HATES those) and 10 being Hooter’s.

I will definitely make them again but next time instead of just using Frank’s as the moisture I plan to add NF plain yogurt so that the nuggets stay moist and I’ll leave out the chips, I don’t really think that they added much to the crumb other than calories. Other than that the breading was good and it stuck to the chicken way better than I thought, and they did come out crispy.

Click here to see how I made them.

(tub-o-chips)

And now for Monday’s food

And the Totals

I’m still amazed at how much water plays a role in weight loss, gain and maintenance. If you read yesterday’s post then you know how quickly I was “gaining” daily just because I wasn’t drinking enough water. Well yesterday I had 9 glasses, not the best but at least the recommended minimum and guess what? I woke up -1.4 lighter. Now I KNOW it had nothing to do with what I at because it was not a super OP day. I had latkes for breakfast, pizza for lunch and wine, rice, beans and chicken, oh and 3 tortillas for dinner. Clearly water played a role in my loss. So today I will drown myself in water and drink a minimum of 12 glasses, ideally 16 and we shall see how things play out for the week.

The title of this post is “Day 1″ because I am kicking my own ass into gear and getting back on track. I am doing some major Costco shopping today so that we can have not only food but more healthy options along with healthy snacks. I’m going to continue to log in SP but will log points in a grid that I just created in excel. Not sure why but logging in WWO seems like a hassle to me and I think that is part of why I haven’t been doing it. Since I created my grid in excel this time instead of using Dreamweaver, I can use google docs to import it into my blog without much hassle. I will post my log even if it is incomplete because I know that is part of why I haven’t been posting, because I like things perfect and if they aren’t then I just won’t continue. So this week I will fight against my perfectionist tendencies and see what happens.

Goals for the week:

1. Log and post daily food even if I eat out and can’t figure out the calories/points
2. Exercise - 3 things other than daily stairs. Minimum of 20 minutes in 1 session in order to count. Post this exercise in the SP Challenge group and include it in my daily food grid
3. Detox - STOP eating the crap and go back to eating healthy
4. Drink 12 glasses of water a day

Like my math? If you read Friday’s post you know that I was not only having a helluva day but I also mentioned my wonderful food week (NOT).
I ended my day with going to the chiropractic and can I just say that she is amazing! My thumb is still a little sore but it pops again and no longer feels like it’s jammed up and short. My right ankle feels great (yea that one was slightly bothering me too), and my left ankle is back at like 90% (I go back on Wednesday for another adjustment) and I got some more BioFreeze to out on before bed which also helped a ton! I really do wish I knew what I did to my left ankle but oh well, at least I am treating it. I’m also didn’t go to Flamenco dance class because that is the only thing I can contribute the possibility of jacking it up to. Especially since I wore regular “street” heels and may have stomped a little too hard in order to accomplish the sound. So today I am ordering the right shoes so that I can go and stomp my ass off next week.

Now for the scale. Last week was just crazy with work and stress and no good food in the house. Some days I ate decent and other days I ate only 1 meal. I knew that it wasn’t good but with everything that was going on I just couldn’t even get myself to eat enough. Funny how the scale has reflected that plus lack of water in a completely different direction that I would have thought in the past. After almost a year on this journey and all of my scale experiments I had a feeling what would happen.
Lowest weight this month was on 2/13

2/13 - 134, totally stressful day at work. Couldn’t eat breakfast and snacked on crap starting around noon. Only decent meal was dinner and that was chicken and veggies. Maybe 8 glasses of water. Chinese frozen meal for dinner.

2/14 - 135, WOW, 1 pound over night. That day I didn’t eat my first bit of anything until about 2:30pm and even then it was just a few bites, not an actual meal. Then dinner was at 8pm and I think I may have only had about 6 glasses of water if that.

2/15 - 135.6, wow another gain. Interesting considering the day before. Clearly water weight. Tried to eat 3 meals today but once again water was minimal as was F&V. Grilled cheese and coup for dinner. Very high in sodium.

2/16 - 136.6, another pound over night. Wonder what happened? How can not eating enough be working against me?

2/17 - 136.8, only a .2 gain. I had more water yesterday but still only like 6 glasses. I did eat 3 meals although they they were all eaten out. half a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast, falafel for lunch, flax seed chips for a snack and pizza and salad for dinner.

Trying to do better today although we started the day with potato latkes (from a box) and since my allergies are still around my taste buds are all jacked up so I started craving sweet and grabbed some candy. Already had 4 glasses of water and about to have more. Will do my best for the rest of the day but tomorrow is ON. I am going grocery shopping and restocking up on the good food so that I can get back on track. I NEED to see 133 again like I did last month.

S note to self and others. EAT your food! But be sure it is healthy food, lots of F&F and WATER!

I have no idea what happened but today has not been so great. I got the beginnings of an allergy attack on Tuesday but was fortunate enough to be able to get into acupuncture on Wednesday to nip it in the bud (yes I go to acupuncture on a regular basis, especially when I’m not feeling well) . The treatment went well and I got some herbs and I’ve been better since. Not totally out of the woods but not about to die either.
My right thumb has been feeling tight for about a week now and I have no idea why. It feels like I need to crack it but it won’t snap like usual.
Somehow I jacked up my left ankle this week and I have no idea how. I have no recollection of falling down or banging it (which would be totally typical for me) so I don’t know what’s up with it. I looked at it last night and there were some veins around the bone that I didn’t recognize but I have no idea, it’s not like I stare at my ankles much, plus their both tattooed so it’s not like I could see any color changes or bruising. As the day has progressed I realized that I was limping, which I’m sure looks totally insane to passers by considering I’m wearing heels. Luckily my chiropractor has an opening tonight so that she can hank it back into place. The only thing I can think of is that I messed it up in dance class last week for not having proper shoes. I really have no idea but this may prevent me from going back tomorrow which is a total bummer.

In addition to the thumb and ankle I have my Mittelschmerz which is causing me to feel bloated and constipated (sorry TMI) and achy. Oh and it hurts to walk too, and regardless of what they say, tylenol or advil or any of that shit doesn’ t work, not to mention I hat taking pain meds. Luckily it only lasts for about a day.

And to top it all off I’m having a really bad hair day! Oh, and I’ve had a super busy and stressful week which has prevented me from eating much or drinking enough water and guess what, the scale is UP instead of down. WTF. Yea, so go eat your food and I’ll try to eat mine. I ate 1 meal yesterday and the scale went up. I have had a salad today, and some FF frozen yogurt and I’m about to eat some Thai sticky rice and mango. Maybe not the best choice but I need food and I’m cranky so I’m gonna eat something good. I know I have the calories/points to spare considering the lack of food this week.

So other than the brokenness I had a nice valentines day with the husband. Nothing extravagant, just dinner at our favorite Nepalese restaurant. Oh and he sent me 3 dozen roses that arrived on the 13th so that made me happy. He forgot my card at work yesterday (or so he says) so we are exchanging cards tonight. I’m HUGE on cards so it’s a big deal to me to do it, even if it is a day late. Just means that we get to celebrate longer. In all honesty I’m not super huge on Valentine’s Day in general. I used to be when I was single because I always wanted a “Valentine” and now that I have one I realize that every day is special so February 14th is just another excuse to go to dinner and give each other cards.

I haven’t been posting much about food or my weight because neither has been stellar these days. Like Tina, when there is no food in the house my eating goes out the window. I do have Monday off though so I plan to stock up then and get back on track, plus my Hula class starts next week so I have that to look forward to as well. Hopefully I’ll have something more exciting and motivating to post about then. In the mean time I have a ton of links and articles that I may share this weekend in case any of you get bored.

I get suckered into these damn DVDs every time I see them on TV. I got the Bender Ball only to lose the DVD and now I just have the stupid ball. But I will admit that the few times that I got to use both the ball and DVD I did feel it with just a few moves. This past weekend I saw a commercial for Crunchless Abs that piqued my interest. I know it is possible to work your core without site ups or specific ab moves because we used to do it in Belly Dance all the time but the subliminal messages in these commercials reach into my head and make me want to make an impulse buy. Has anyone else seen the commercial? Does anyone else have them?

They advertise that you get the set for $9.99 but it’s really $12.99 unless you want the VHS, then you can get them for $9.99. Now for $12.99 it looks like you get 3 DVDs and some random soup meal plan which seems like a decent deal, after all most DVDs are at least $14.99 in the stores. HELP! Please comment if you have these and let me know what you think.

And I totally forgot. What a bad mom I am. We do have a date this weekend (with the groomer) so I’ll be sure to buy him something extra then. Not like he cares, the little furball has a basket of toys and he prefers to play with socks. If you have access to my other blog go check out some pictures of us over the years and if you don’t then here is one to give you an idea of what he looks like.

We take so many pictures of him that he now knows to pose when he sees the camera or a phone pointed at him (camera phone). I’ll have to take a before and after of him this weekend when we go to the groomers.
Any other doggie crazies our there on Dogster? If so be his friend here!

That is what I need to do. As I was driving home from work the other day I realized how much more confidence I had when I was a dancer. I was confident in my appearance, my abilities and in general. I miss that but had forgotten about it for 4 years now. I taught my last Belly Dance class in December 2003 and found out about I had cervical cancer in January 2004. Before knowing what life had in store for me I decided to take a brief hiatus from teaching until that Summer. Little did I know that I would be struggling with walking at that point and that dancing was out of the question. By 2005 I felt like I could start dancing again and did take a few Samba classes from my old instructor but my leg still wasn’t up to par at that point, not to mention I had managed 2 major clumsy casualties resulting in broken toes and a gashed up knee so I went about 3 or 4 times and then stopped again. Mentally it was too hard to acknowledge the fact that I had to start over. I went from being a performer and dance teacher myself to beginning status simply because of an illness. I couldn’t get past the fact that I had been through so much and should be grateful for being able to feel “normal” again, I just wanted to dance and feel like me again. Instead of pushing through I gave up. I keep talking about it and mentioning it here but I also keep coming up with excuses as to why I haven’t gone back to dancing. Until yesterday…
Yesterday morning I bit the bullet and decided to check out a Flamenco class that is literally less than 3 blocks from my house. I’ve always wanted to take Flamenco but just hadn’t done it yet. Because of the style of Belly Dance (American Tribal Style) I was familiar with some aspects of Flamenco because it was used in ATS and I’ve always waned to “stomp.” I had emailed the instructor in January to find out if it was a drop in class and what to wear. So yesterday morning I took my lowest pair of heels and went to class. Unfortunately my lowest pair of heels are still higher than Flamenco shoes but considering it was my first class I didn’t want to make the investment in shoes just yet. The class was a hour long and a bit challenging but over all I did well considering it was my first class. Even the instructor and guitar player said that I caught on well. Now I am trying to find a cheaper pair of shoes on ebay since they run approximately $65 at the stores because I am definitely going back next week and hopefully every Saturday thereafter. The only bummer for me was that even though it was challenging, I didn’t break a sweat the way I used to in Belly Dance or Samba. Now there is another studio that is a bit further from my house but still in the general neighborhood that offers some dance classes so today I decided to take a peek at their site and they are now offering Hula! I LOVE Hula and have wanted to fond a class in ages. I took it years ago and loved it but it was at a hula studio with a troupe and it required more commitment that I was willing to give considering I was also Belly Dancing. Well this Hula class runs for 4 weeks and it starts in 2 weeks. I am so excited! I even ran outside to tell the husband about it. Now if I can manage to schedule things the right way and allocate enough money I should be able to do 2 dance classes a week and yoga at least once a week on a regular basis. I used to dance 3x a week at 3 hours a pop min. years ago but that was before I met my husband. Now I need to learn how to balance dance and married life. The good thing is that the husband totally supports me in this and has been pushing me to start dancing again, I just haven’t been ready. Now I am. Funny how things just click sometimes.
I’m so excited! I’ll keep you updated on how things go.

Katieo just posted in her blog asking “Why Do You Eat?” and other than totally hijacking her post with my long ass comment I think my answer was pretty right on. Funny thing though, that I read her post today, after having a good breakfast of yogurt and slivered almonds. I even packed my lunch today to have a healthy LF sammich. But then I realize my boss has lunch meeting proposed by someone else, this means that lunch must be provided. So I call the other admin and she said that she will order lunch and do I want anything too because just 2 people will not meet the minimum for the order. “Sure, I’ll take a caesar salad, thanks!”

The food arrives just after the morning round of stairs and for some reason I came back to my desk STARVING. I open the bag and see my salad, then realize that it is barely 11:30 so I will wait a few. Then by 11:4o I can’t take it, I want food! I get my salad and it has croutons. Not just any croutons but Specialty’s homemade croutons that are BIG and yummy. I remove the grossnasty anchovies (thank god they are in a separate container) and then the dressing and then proceed to eat all the croutons.  Now unlike my husband, the mindless eater, I think about each crouton as I eat it, and I only eat one at a time. So crunchy, and yummy and salty and  OMG I want  a bowl of just croutons. And just as I reach for another I realize they are all gone. I ate them all :(. Not like there were that many, only like 7 but still, I wanted more. Now I want the bread, nice and buttery and herby and focaccia. God why do they do this to me. I love bread, it’s one of my few food weaknesses that I do not allow myself to eat all the time or else I would probably turn into a big ol sourdough bread bowl. Poor lettuce, it sits there with yummy freshly grated parm and chicken breast and all I do is look at it as I reach for another bite of bread. WHY? What is it about bread, starch really, that is like crack?

I have now eaten all the croutons and half the piece or bread (approx a 2×4x1  rectangle - yes I measured) and I’m satisfied. My tummy is no longer famished, I have fooled it with bread and now I must force myself to eat the salad with minimal dressing in hopes to not only get some veggies in but to erase the damage of the bread.

I guess everyone has their weakness. For some it is baked goods, for others it is chocolate or Chinese or Hostess 100 calorie packs. Today, for me, it is BREAD.

I also have an apple that is looking at me wondering why I haven’t touched it yet.

I bet this has to do with the fact that the ILs have been in town and we have been eating out so much which unfortunately has also included lots of sandwiches and then pizza last night. My body is confused and thinks that we are reintroducing carb/starch/bread fest. No wonder. Ok, 2 more days and they head back east and I can go back to eating my version of “normal” which means no mas pan! (that’s Spanish for no more bread in case you were wondering what the hell I just typed) .

Ok, salad time, but not before I take one more bite of bread

So WI’d in Thursday because I had to. As a lifer you have to WI once a month and since Thursday was the last day of January (can you believe it?) I had no choice. I had avoided it long enough. I had a small loss, .6, which considering the scale and I kept duking it out the last 2 weeks and holidays and whatever else you wanna add I’ve lost since my last WI of December 4th. I’ve now technically been about the same weight since October, this maintenance isn’t bad now that I have a handle on it. If only I could get back to loss mode for a few more pounds and then back to maintaining. I was also surprised that there was a loss because TOM is here and that always makes me retain water, especially since the salt cravings have been pretty high this month.
Speaking of salt. I have a problem. I pack my healthy snacks like I did on Monday yet I manage to eat crap. Thursday wasn’t any different. My WI days are always bad anyway since I don’t eat or drink anything except my morning coffee until the noon WI. Which if course makes me STARVING but I know that even the lightest breakfast will show as a gain and I refuse to let that happen, so I patiently wait and then just eat during the meeting, after weighing in. I had yogurt and grapes, then later I had some melba with turkeyroni and then at about 3 I wanted somthing salty and crunchy so I went to the vending machine and got Chex Mix. I never eat that stuff but it was good but so salty that by the time I was done my tongue was burning from the salt and no amount of water makes that go away as fast as you’d like.
Dinner that night was homemade chicken soup that my mom made so I definitely got my veggies in there. So that’s about it. Originally when I started to type this I had a ton to say but now that I’m finishing it 3 days later I’ve managed to forget.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

She has no idea about my blog, nor does she know what a blog is probably but I have to share her NSV. Many of you have read about me complaining about my mom and her 4 day a week WW diet only to “treat” herself because “she’s been good” every Friday through Sunday and this is her millionth time on WW. Because she’s done WW so many times I grew up not eating mayo or much chocolate and for the most part with a healthy role model. Not quite sure what happened but after she had my 2 younger sisters mom never lost the weight. She’s not super over weight but should could stand to lose 50 pounds to be in the healthy range for her age and height. Unfortunately her weight is at the point where it has started to affect her health with high cholesterol and high blood pressure and pre-diabetes. The first 2 do run in the family but the pre-diabetes I KNOW is due to her weight. Her biggest problem is sweets. She used to eat a candy bar a day or at least always have one in her purse and she is constantly eating cookies or cakes (remember my bday cup cake that was as big as my dogs head?). On Saturday she asked me to go with her to a study that she is participating in and during the 3 hours that I sat there with her they said that it was very possible that her condition (different than those mentioned above) could be helped and possibly cleared up if she were to lose weight. I’ve always known this but to hear them mention it really made an impact. Now they did acknowledge that it is very difficult to do and a lot of people can’t or aren’t willing to and for the purpose of the study it would be beneficial for her but that if medications became available that she would also have that option. Now I don’t know about you, but for any mom’s out there, if the doctor is telling you that losing weight will improve your quality of life and improve your health then PLEASE DO IT! My mom is only 54, she still has a lot of years to live and I want her healthy, my sisters and my dad want her healthy and I want her to know and be a part of her future grandchild’s life. All she has to do is lose weight.
She lost some weight last year only to gain most of it back during the holidays. I think she gained all except like 3 of the pounds that she lost in 2007. And it’s really because she gave up over the holidays and had the mentality that it was the holidays and she didn’t have to watch what she ate.
I think in an odd way my mom’s constant giving up and lack of caring is what keeps me going because I don’t want to have her weight related health issues when I get older.

Since my mom asked me to go with her to this study and since I heard and understood everything that the doctors and researcher said I told her that she chose to involve me and that I am now going to be on her to change her cooking and eating habits and if she doesn’t stop making those crazy big muffins that I’m going to take her muffin pan away.
Her first step was to give me a big bag of snacks including cookies and candied nuts and some candies, so that I can take them into work and let others eat them. Yes, she is making me be THAT girl. Good thing is that I’m not a huge fan of those snacks so I can easily put them out and not be tempted.
Tonight she called me to let me know that she made cornbread muffins and tried to make them healthier. Now I have no idea where she got the recipe but she said that used egg whites instead of the entire eggs and that instead of the 3/4C oil she used 1C apple sauce and she also added some raisins and cinnamon and benefiber. Now I’m sure these are still crazy big muffins but I definitely gave her credit for trying and encouraged her to continue to do these experiments and to make my dad eat them too because he is also at least 50 lbs over weight. That will be the next step. But the fact that my mom tried to bake using healthy alternatives is HUGE! I am so happy and just need to figure out how to get her to do this more.

That’s all, just wanted to share because this is a HUGE NSV for mom and proof that even the biggest of sweet/baked goods eaters CAN make better choices and still enjoy a healthy treat.

Literally! I have no idea when I will learn, or maybe it’s because I don’t eat it that often that I keep forgetting but it literally makes me sick to my stomach! The husband had surgery yesterday so I spent most of my day at the hospital. Everything went well and took less time than they anticipated which was great. The doctor even said that “anatomically his body lent itself to the surgery” and he didn’t have to go as deep as with most patients and he didn’t have to cut into the muscle which means that he will heal much quicker. I had no idea how long the entire thing would take so I packed some water and healthy snacks to keep me until it was time to go home. I packed a Fiber One Bar, some carrots, yogurt, a Laughing Cow wedge and some melba rounds.

As with most surgeries the husband had to fast and the poor guy couldn’t even have coffee this morning so I had promised him that we would get whatever he wanted for lunch, which he decided would be fast food because he wanted a burger (we don’t cook red meat in the house). Once we were able to leave the hospital we headed over to Carl’s Jr because he decided that he wanted a Six Dollar Burger. Can I just tell you, that thing was HUGE! They should call it the Six days worth of food burger if you ask me. Not sure what I was thinking but I decided to order the Bacon Swiss Crispy Chicken burger minus the bacon. Usually I get a kids meal when we get fast food because that is more than enough for me. Well today I was just retarded. Not sure if it was because I was stressed or what but I ate most of that damn thing (took off as much mayo as possible and didn’t eat the bread and only 3/4 of the chicken which was huge) and after about 4 bites I started to feel sick. My stomach started to feel bloated and not happy but what did I do? I continued to eat the fries and drink the soda (I RARELY drink soda because carbonation usually upsets my stomach too), oh and a few sips of the crazy, insane milkshake that the husband wanted. I wasn’t even eating it because it tasted good so much as I felt bad wasting the food. 2 “value” meals and a shake cost us $19. WTF?! $19 and some clogged arteries and a side of fat, they should really be paying us to eat this crap. All the while I had the yogurt and carrots in my bag but for some reason they just didn’t seem as appealing, although I’m sure my stomach would have much preferred them to what I did eat.

Now that I look back it reminds me of this commercial

I ended up going to yoga which makes twice in 4 days! WOOHOO! That is 20 APs right there (10 per class). I’m so glad I went because I had the best nights sleep. I haven’t slept that good in ages, I even struggled to wake up because I didn’t want it to end.

Not really that sore today, I think going actually helped restretch things so that I would not feel so sore, although it’s still early, who knows what tonight or tomorrow will hold. The good thing is that this isn’t the first time I’ve done Bikram. I’ve been doing it off and on since 2001. I g through spurts of all the time and then nothing at all. This year I am lowering my bar/goal to once a week this way if I go more then I exceed the goal and feel even better. In previous years I’ve set the goal to 3-4 times a week and I do it for about 2-3 weeks and slowly fall off the wagon. I realize that 3-4 times is far better than 1 but 1 time a week is far better than none. This week I exceeded my goal and have gone twice!

Food has been a weird struggle. I know that I’m not over eating, am afraid that I may be under eating again since that is my pattern but am really trying to figure out what I need to do to lose this final 7 pounds. I’m afraid to just count points for fear of not knowing how much fat and protein I’m eating. Just counting calories is keeping me at the same weight. Maybe I’m really at the point where exercise is the only thing left. It kinda makes sense. I am doing exercise daily (stair climbing) but I think I’m at the point where that is just my maintenance, meaning it is helping me eat a little extra junk (in moderation) and stay the same. I need to up it. God I want the exercise motivation. The challenge has managed to get everyone else moving but me, not that I’m not moving but I need more. I NEED dance again, that is what I did for years and it totally worked for me. I was able to eat whatever and not gain a pound. There are 2 classes in my neighborhood that I need to look into. One is Flamenco, which I have never done but always wanted to and the other is Belly Dance which I did for years (performed and taught). If I could just get into the swing of those again I know it would help. I emailed the Flamenco teach er today to get more info and hopefully I can check it out on the 2nd. Belly Dance is on Tuesdays but that too will have to wait a bit since it’s at night and the husband is having surgery on Monday so I need to stay home with him at least for the first few days. So maybe February is going to be my month to dance LOL.