Seriously, when my routine is out of wack so is what I eat. Thursday and Friday I had to get up at the asscrack of dawn in order to get to work by 7:30/7:45am, I typically get in just before 9am. You see, there was this big meeting with out of country guests and I was in charge of getting things set up (typical admin shit) like food and snacks. I also got the glamorous job of cleaning up in between meals to make room for the next one (1 conference room all day long) which mean left overs. Now, we have extra/left over/free food ALL THE TIME and for the most part I can say no but for some reason, last week I took it as an opportunity to eat like crap and in turn feel like crap. Sometimes I think I do it to myself to remind myself what eating shitfood will do to you. These are the effed up mind games I play with myself.

I also realized the importance and downfall of eating something first thing in the morning. Getting up so early totally threw my clock off. Typically I eat breakfast around 9 or 9:30am unless I have a glass of milk at home before leaving for the office (I love milk). Since I couldn’t wait till 9 or 9:30am I ate before 9, usually a WW shake or banana or something totally healthy. Then I was hungry again at 10:30, and it was around that time or shortly thereafter that it was time to clear out breakfast from the conference room. There were left over bagels both days with cream cheese. Now I RARELY eat bagels and even more rarely do I eat regular cream cheese. Yet somehow lack of sleep made me eat bagels both days WITH regular cream cheese. On Thursday I ate a whole bagel (WTF?!), by Friday I had gotten half a clue and only hate half. On Thursday I also ate some left over Thai noodles with chicken, twice. Yes twice, because there was so much left over that I took some home for dinner to share with the husband so that we didn’t have to cook. I also had juice that day and a cookie and a piece of chocolate. Needless to say I was feeling gross. Friday I at the half a bagel but also had a Boudin sandwich with that evil bread that I love so much, and then bread from another sandwich - no mean just half the bread, and some chips, OH and  a Mountain Dew, regular not diet, because I was so freaking tired and didn’t want coffee in the middle of the day. That night we ordered Chinese and for dessert I had a brownie and some yummy chocolate from Switzerland that the out of town business guests had given me. All the while I was completely aware of the fact that I was eating crap. The good thing is that I WAS aware and I never stuffed myself, but god did I feel like shit.

Each night I thought about why I did what I did and the only thing that I could come up with was that my routine was thrown off and shit food was convenient and lack of sleep made me too lazy to go and by my own food, because we all know FREE is better. The good thing is that other than missing dance class on Thursday night due to exhaustion, I did do stairs and my walk on Friday so I was exercising which I hope counter balanced things. Oh and on top of the lack of sleep and thrown off routine TOM was here and cravings aside, I really think it messes with your head and ability to make rational decisions, because I really do know better than to eat shit 2 days in a row. Needless to say my weight spiked again, clearly due to carbs and sodium, but this morning I woke up and am back in the 134s comfort zone. THANK YOU WATER and thank you Tom for exiting the premises.

So next time you go on a bender try to assess the situation, so that if nothing else, you can be aware of why the scale goes up and how it makes you feel and nip things in the bud or at least recognize the signs that you are about to have a temporary lapse in food judgement and know that you will be back to normal soon.

Yesterday was much better, not great but clearly not so bad since I woke up lighter. I do need more F&V though, I know its contributing to my inability to go below 134. Maybe I’ll go grocery shopping today so that we can have a yummy and healthy meal.