Monthly Archive

“All the flavor. Half the fat*” “never fried. never baked.”

OMG I am addicted to popped chips. I first tried this type of chip at Trader Joe’s and almost ate the whole bag. Talk about crack snack. Seriously these things are addicting. Then today I went to our little Grab-n-Go to grab a snack and saw Pop Chips and grabbed a bag. They are so freaking good! 2 points pet bag - 120 cal/4 fat/2 fiber and YUMMY. Did I say how good they are? OMG. I want more, but that would defeat the “low point snack” option. 1 bag is low points, 5 bags, not so much anymore.
They have all kinds of flavors too. If you are a salty, crunchy, carb craver like I am, you MUST try these!

1. I have an amazing husband who adores me and supports me and believes in me, and he things I’m perfect no matter what
2. I have a great family even if we are slightly dysfunctional
3. I really do have great skin and I get compliments on it all the time
4. I’m smart and funny (even if I do unintentionally make people laugh when I’m trying to be serious)
5. I have great hair even on the crazy Medusa days
6. I am strong and determined
7. I have a good job at a great company
8. I live in a nice house in the city, who cares if we rent
9. I have a nice car and many others with potential (my husband is a gear head remember)
10. I want many things but don’t really need anything
11. I am rich in many ways even if money isn’t one of them
12. I have the cutest doggie ever and he loves me just for being me
13. I have a great mom even if she does still try to suffocate me with love, control things and be super nosey, she means well and really does love me the most (shhh don’t tell my sisters =P)
14. Overall I am healthy. Sure I have some weird, “uncommon for my age/gender” “disorders” but I’m not going to die from any of them
15. I don’t have many IRL friends, but the few I have are always there for me, even when I torture them or ignore them
16. I’m a pretty lucky person. Mom always said I was born under a lucky star
17. I lost weight and met 1 of 2 goals dammit! I CAN do anything!!!
18. I don’t give up
19. I’m very creative and talented
20. I’m a dancer, a real dance, not just one who dances but a dancer. I’m now the girl who I used to always admire in class. That’s me!
21. I can do anything if I set my mind to it (within reason of course, I still can’t fly or have x-ray vision, I’m close to reading minds but sometimes it requires me to really stare and it makes people uncomfortable so I can only do it with people I really know)
22. I survived cancer dammit!
23. I’m a bit of a know it all, but I like to share my knowledge so it’s not a bad thing
24. I love learning, about all sorts of things as long as I am learning something new, I love it!
25. I’m beautiful inside and out (I need to start reminding myself of this daily)
26. Did I mention my wonderful husband? He needs to be on here twice because he really is the best! And he is handsome and has amazing eyes. Remember that line from “Fools Rush In,” “you’re everything I never knew, I always wanted.” I thought I knew what I wanted until I met him and realized that he was what I wanted and so much more. He really has made me a better person.
27. I’m a nice person
28. I learn new things extremely fast (except if numbers are involved) and because of my perfectionist nature I’m pretty good at them once I learn, or at least I try really hard to be
29. I may be UBER girly but I can and have worked on cars with my husband, AND I’m good at it, who knew. Yup, nails and all people
30. I like helping people
31. I have some really great on line friends. It may sound creepy or dorky but over the years I have met some amazing people via message boards and support groups and this blog and I am grateful for that.

Ok, that’s all I can come up with for now. Yup, I tooted my own horn and you know what, I feel great now! I need to remember this post for when I start to feel down.

Now it’s your turn. Make a list about why you are great, anything and everything positive about you. Toot your horn, pat your back, scream it from the roof tops. We all have reasons to be happy and things that makes us unique and amazing and strong and kick ass. So list yours! Do it NOW! And then tell me you did it so that I can read it.

If you read yesterday’s MIA post then you’ll see why this is so fitting…
(from tarot.com - for Sagittarius)
Thursday, Mar 27th, 2008 –
A difficult emotional situation could be the harbinger of a significant breakthrough, so don’t waste energy wondering what you did wrong. Put the past behind you and make a plan for what’s next. Even if you don’t take sudden action today, at least decide where you are going and when you will start your new adventure.

Yesterday’s was pretty powerful too…
Wednesday, Mar 26th, 2008 –
It’s easy to get lost in the “maybe game” today as you dream about the good life that you want to live. Even if things are going well, you may still wish for more. But don’t get too greedy; as you create new goals, also give yourself time to appreciate the green grass right in your own backyard.

Tina called me out in a comment so here I am to let y’all know what is going on.

Lots going on right now that isn’t really weight related at all which is why I haven’t posted or commented much. I do miss you guys but right now I’m trying to just deal with things and it’s tough.
Some of you know that we are “trying” and things aren’t going so well. Celebrating 4 years of being cancer free is wonderful but also a reminder about why I had the surgery that I had and that it still isn’t very common and the data for pregnancies after a laparoscopic radical trachelectomy is still limited. I’ve been googling my ass off trying to find new data and still nothing. I did find a message board/support network earlier this week and there are a few other women on there that have had the same surgery and have the exact “unexplained” post ovulation spotting (sorry TMI) . Not much info there but at least I know that I am not alone and in can in fact be a “side effect” of the surgery. This has also pushed me to make an appointment with my oncologist to try and get some answers. What sucks is that the actual oncologist who performed my surgery has gone back to practice in Canada, although the power of google and my stalkerish abilities (see Tina they come in handy on so many levels) helped me locate her as well so I will be emailing her this week in hopes to get some answers.
I was REALLY hoping that this was our month and it’s not and it is really starting to affect me more than I want. I am turning into that “must have baby” obsessed women that I never wanted to be. I’m sure my regular ob/gyn’s office is wondering how to screen my calls since I call at least 3-4 times a month with questions and requests for tests. I want to know what is wrong with me if anything. The good thing is that because of my surgery I’m somewhat of an “experiment” (at least I feel that way) so the doctor is willing to run the tests without having to wait the usual time frame. The good news is that so far everything is fine. Great, finally I’m “normal” yet still nada and no reason for the weird cycle bleeding (I told you T.M.I.). There’s more but I don’t want to bore you all.
I have been exercising and am now at 23 out of 26 days of exercise (walking, stairs, dance, DVDs) and I really think that my body is finally remembering what it was like to be constantly doing something because it is letting me eat shit that I wouldn’t dare eat 6 months ago. Of course I need to control it again because I feel like I’m getting too lax. Oh, and I realized, I’m not a closet stress eater, I’m just a don’t give a shit, get lazy eater when I get stressed. I don’t necessarily pig out, but I allow myself to eat things I wouldn’t normally eat, almost like a punishment because I usually end up feeling sick afterwards. Wow, this journey is never ending when it comes to learning new things about myself.
I realized today that I am eating and craving carbs like they are going out of style and that is NOT GOOD. So tomorrow I am going to focus on eating LOTS of protein, especially because the scale decided to show me a number today that i haven’t seen in a long time. I’m still wearing my 6s so I’m sure it’s water, especially since TOM is here and let me just tell you that I was eating salty foods like no tomorrow last week, and I wasn’t drinking all my water.

Now that I’ve started dancing again I’m contemplating adding more classes to my week which would mean 4 times a week instead of 2. The husband is totally supportive, so if I can bring myself to justifying $60 a week for 2 months and ways to make healthy dinners in advance that only require a quick warm up, I may be dancing my hips off come April (hips not bootay, cuz I got no bootay to dance off, it’s just not there to begin with). I would be taking 2 Flamenco classes (one workshop and one ongoing), a hula workshop, and a belly dance workshop. That would take me to 4.5 hours of dance a week which is about half of what I used to do about 6 years ago.

Now I’m just rambling. I need to reevaluate things, my google reader cuz it stresses me out, what my focus is with my weight cuz I’m stuck people, I can’t get under 134 and it’s driving me nuts, and of course my situation because I fucking hate living in 2 week increments and I want some answers. I’m glad that I have my health and an amazing husband who is supportive of all my decisions but I hate not knowing what is going on with my body.

Okay, time to go see what it was that Tina tagged me with :).

I got this fun meme from Hanlie. You may only have one-word answers. Enjoy!

1. Cellphone: half dead
2. Relationship: wonderful
3. My hair: crazy
4. Work: Busy
5. My sibling/siblings: sisters
6. My favorite thing: snuggling
7. My dream last night: bizzare
8. Favorite drink: water
9. Dream car: Jag
10. The room I’m in : living room
11. My shoes: heels
12. My fears: violence
13. What do I want to be in 10 years: parent
14. Who did I hang out with this weekend: family
15. What I am not good at: direction
16. Muffin: chocolate
17. One of my wish list items: house
18. Where I grew up: San Francisco
19. Last thing I did: eat
20. Wearing: PJs
21. Not wearing: bra
22. My pets: dog
23. My computer: laptop
24. My life: confusing
25. My mood: relaxed
26. Missing: not sure
27. What I am thinking about right now: life

28. My car: 300C
29. My kitchen: big
30. My weather: chilly
31. Favorite color: red
32. Last time I laughed: today
33. Last time I cried: today when I laughed so hard I cried
34. School: done
35. Love: always

Now it’s your turn! Link back to me if you’re doing this so that I can come and have a look.

Wishing everyone (who celebrates) a Happy Easter and beginning of Spring!
Tomorrow is the beginning of a new week so enjoy today and don’t beat yourself up if you indulge a bit.

I thought this was a great blog post by Coach Nicole from Spark People. She talks about having a strong core but not necessarily a 6 pack. Totally makes sense to me. My core definitely needs more strengthening but even at it’s strongest I always had a layer of fat that did not allow any definition to show through.

So even though I have totally sucked on the March Exercise Challenge I have been logging the exercise that I have done and so far this month I have kicked ass!

I have done some type of exercise every day this month except 3!
Between daily stairs, walking, dance class, the Exercise Challenge and DVDs, I have exercised;
19 out of 22 days
1333 minutes
5590 calories burned (assuming SP is accurate)
65 APs earned
22.14 miles walked
260 flights of stairs going up AND down so depending on how you count it, it could be 260 or 520

This might explain why I haven’t really gained considering my eating has been out of control this month.

I finally have my house back! I was seriously about to loose my damn mind. This was the first time I have ever experienced having a house guest and the first time for this long for the husband. Let’s just say that after this experience we have agreed that there is a 2 night MAX at “Casa S.”

I am a creature of habit, I do not like people in my space and I DO NOT like my routine to be disrupted. I’ve always known all these things, but I thought that it would be okay to open our house to someone. WRONG! I had hit my max by Monday morning, which was by the 3 night/2 day mark (he arrived Friday night). The boy was/is very sweet and not a typical teenager by any means, at least not based on stories I’ve heard. For the most part he was quiet and didn’t eat too much, not disruptive or disrespectful but his atrocious table manners and lack of hygiene drove me up the fucking wall!

You know how some people just have an aura about them that rubs you the wrong way, well I think it was one of those situations. Again, good kid, but just not my cup of tea.
Now maybe I’m just super anal about hygiene but showering every other day is just NOT acceptable to me, it’s gross. I don’t care if it can dry out your skin, that is what lotion is for and staying hydrated with water. You can remedy dry skin, but body funk happens and no amount of perfume or deodorant can make up for a shower! And the eating, OMG I question if his parents ever taught him how to eat at a table more or less in public. He chewed with his mouth open making a smacking sound, my dog has better manners than that! He used his fingers instead of a knife or serving utensil and would proceed to lick them instead of using a napkin, he held the fork/spoon like a shovel and shoveled food into his mouth and he drank from the soup bowl at a restaurant! I wanted to fucking die! Oh yea and he burped at the table and drank everything from his glass with a straw until it made that horrible sound. I was so incredibly grossed out that I cringed at the thought of eating another meal with him yet we had to. I wanted to scream every time I heard that smacking sound. Who does that, or better yet, who does that and doesn’t know or realize that no one else does that so maybe it’s BAD MANNERS! Since this was really only about the 4th time I’d seen this cousin I didn’t feel right disciplining him, not to mention, oh yea, his parents are pacifists so there isn’t much of that at home either, at least not the kind if discipline I grew up with.

I was on my nerves last nerve all last week, dreading going home another night but I knew I had to. He stayed with us for 9 fucking nights/days! Oh yea, and his parents had never bothered to call before hand to make sure it was still okay or even to offer to send us some type of compensation for taking in their teenage son for over a week. I realize we live in the city and have a nice house and make good money (they live in a very RURAL SMALL town) and might give the illusion that we have our shit together and money to throw around, but come on, at least offer something to the people who are taking care of your kid for over a week. Nope, nothing, nada. They finally called yesterday morning to say thank you but come one people? We’re not in the habit of taking in strays. And yes, I realize we are family, and the only ones the boy knew in CA but again, where are the manners or courtesy? Or am I just totally out of touch? I have no idea, but I do know that I am fucking beyond slap my ass silly happy, that he is gone and I have my house to myself again! I can finally enjoy a meal with civilized people who know how to eat in public.

Yea so that was my week. Oh and OP, what is that? We ate out every single night except one. And if we didn’t eat out, we ordered in. I had…
Mexican
Pizza
Spanish Tapas
Chinese
Left over Chinese
Indian Pizza
Thai
Japanese

I am however proud to say that the scale has not shown more than a 2 pound gain and I know some of it is water because of all the sodium. Good to know I can have a completely OFF week and still not really gain. I am sick of eating out so last night, when finally alone, we cooked a nice home cooked meal, just the 2 of us. A yummy garlic ginger chicken and I will share the super simple recipe later on.

Once again my life is back to “normal” what ever the hell that is. But I do know that it means me and the hubby ALONE with no one else around to agitate my dots and make me want to scream or anyone extra eating my fucking Kashi bars! Yea, did I mention that by Friday he was feeling comfortable and started to help himself to the food in the cabinets. Have I mentioned that I HATE when people touch my shit? Oh and anyone who is thinking “just wait till you have kids,” yea, they will know the house rules and consequences if they are broken, AND they will know manners and how to act if they ever visit anyone. I grew up with strict parents and turned out just fine so I plan to do the same

(I posted this in my myspace blog and wanted to share here too). I will update more after things go back to normal at home…)

Sometimes I still can’t believe it but it’s true, but 4 years ago today I had surgery for cervical cancer and have been cancer free ever since! I am very fortunate to have such great doctors and even though 2004 was a tough year, I made it through with the support doctors, family and friends. For the women who read this PLEASE be sure to get check ups on an annual basis, regardless of what you may hear or read, had I not gone annually I may not have been so lucky since the cancer appeared a year after a perfectly normal exam. Had I listened to the media and only gone every other year because of my history of healthy exams they wouldn’t have been able to catch the cancer in the beginning stages and things could have been worse. And for any guys who decide to read this, please pass the info on to the women in your lives.

Cervical Cancer is not genetic and can be treated when caught in time. There are so many treatments available that there is no need for women to continue to die from this. For more information on about cervical cancer click here.

Sorry if I got too heavy there for a minute, but it’s not something I talk about very often and it’s times like today that I realize how lucky I am. The good news is that the cancer has not come back and I have been totally fine since AND I only have1 year left of having to go in for 3 month follow-up visits. Ladies, I’m sure you can imagine my joy. Those who know me personally are probably aware of the other complications that I had after the initial surgery, and the good news is that my leg has pretty much been back to normal since ’05. I’ve been back in my 4″ heels for a few years and after a 4 year break from dancing I finally started taking classes again! This time around it’s Hula and Flamenco although I am contemplating going back to Belly Dance again soon.

Just for the week. We have a house guest and it is totally throwing off my norm. I’m a creature of habit and don’t do well with others in my space, but its my husband’s little cousin who needed a place to spend his Spring Break while doing a semester her in CA. He’s a good kid but to go from a couple to suddenly having a 16 yo in your house is weird. He’s not a typical 16 year old either, I think he’s like 16 going on 33 or something. He’s not giving us any grief, but it’s throwing off my whole groove big time.
I will still be doing the Exercise Challenge but I don’t think I’ll be posting much this week. Thanks for the notes regarding the root canal. It ended up not happening. The dentist said that the xrays didn’t pinpoint the source of my pain and he didn’t want to just go in and do surgery that wasn’t needed. The bad news is that I need to watch the 2 back teeth in case things get worse.
I’ll try to read some blogs when I get a chance, but I’m in a bit of a funk since my world is all out of wack right now.

Still dancing and doing stairs and walking during lunch and doing my best with food, although it is NOT going so well since we’ve eaten out a bunch since Friday.

Hope everyone has a great week!

It is for me because I’m off tomorrow so that I can have a root canal. I swear I’ve been off by a day all week. So the Friday Funny should actually be Thursday.

I read this on a message board and just had to share it. It had me LMAO at my desk because I have heard similar things in public restrooms before. I’m sure the mommies can relate…

EMBARRASSING MOMMY MOMENT

If you’ve had children, or taken care of them, this is hilarious!!!

A 3 year old tells all from his mother’s restroom stall - By Shannon Popkin (free-lance writer from Grand Rapids, MI.)

My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does
it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we’re in the
library, the grocery store or at a drive~thru window. People often
comment on how clearly he speaks for a just turned 3 year old, and you
never have to ask him to turn up the volume; it’s always fully cranked.

There have been several embarrassing times that I’ve wished the meaning
of his words would have been masked by a not so audible voice, but never
have I wished this more than last week at Costco. Halfway through our
shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the restroom.

If you’d been one of the ladies in the restroom that evening, this is
what you would have heard coming from the second to last stall:

‘Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on
the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on DA toiwet paper now? Mommy,
what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?’ At
this point, I started mentally counting how many women had been in the
restroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full. 4? 5? Maybe we
Could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this
stall and reveal my identity.

Cade continued, ‘Mommy, you ARE going stinkies, aren’t you? Oh, dats a
good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the
potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh, Mommy! I’m trying to see in
dere. Oh, I see dem! Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You ARE gonna get
some candy!’ I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on
either side of me. Where is a screaming new born when you need one? Good
grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a
long time before exiting.

Trying to divert him, I said, ‘Why don’t you look in Mommy’s purse and
see if you can find some candy. We’ll both have some. ‘No, I’m trying to
see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!’ He started to gag at this point. ‘Uh
oh, Mommy. I fink I’m gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me
frow up!! Dat is so gross!! As the gags became louder, so did the
chuckles outside my stall.

I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began
to reason with myself: Okay, there are four other toilets. If I count
four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this
embarrassing monologue will be long gone. ‘Mommy! Would you get off the
potty, now? I want you to be done doing stinkies! Get up! Get up!’ He
grunted as he tried to pull me. Now I could hear full-blown laughter.

I bent down to count the feet outside my door. ‘Oh, are you wooking
under dere, Mommy? You wooking under DA door? What were you wooking at,
Mommy? You wooking at DA wady’s feet?’ More laughter. I stood inside
the locked door and tried to assess the situation. ‘Mommy, it’s time to
wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy.’ He started
pounding on the door. ‘Mommy, don’t you want to wash your hands? I want
to go out!!’

I saw that my ‘wait ‘em out’ plan was unraveling. I sheepishly opened
the door, and found, standing outside my stall, twenty to thirty ladies
crowded around the stall, all smiling and starting to applaud. My first
thought was complete embarrassment, then I thought, ‘Where’s the fine
print on the ‘motherhood contract’ where I signed away every bit of my
dignity and privacy?’ But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin
while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought,
‘I’d sign it all away again, just to be known as ‘Mommy’ to this little
fellow.’

Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three. She lives with her family in Grand Rapids , Michigan, where she no longer uses public rest-rooms with her 3 year old in tow.

I can’t remember the last time I did an official HYC check in but here goes. So far March has been great in terms of exercise.

3/1 - 60 min dance class, 30 min abs & buns hula DVD, 10 minute walk and 120 minute walk
3/2 - 20 minute walk
3/3 - 2 sets of stairs (15 flights then 17 flights up and down) totalling 30 minutes and a 15 minute walk
3/4 - 10 planks and 30 weighted side bends on each side for the March Exercise Challenge and on top of that I added 30 crunches and stretching!

I can’t believe I’ve done so much already. I’m so excited and hope this momentum stays!

Dance class has bee going awesome! I had forgotten how much I love to dance. My weight is still 134-136 on any given day but I’m hoping that between this month’s challenge and adding the walking 3 times a week will help kick start things so that I can see 130 soon. All my clothes fit now so it is no longer about being a size 6, it is about seeing a specific number on the scale.
One thing I have realized is that even though I was only heavy for less than 4 years it messed with my size perception more than I thought. At first I was in denial about gaining and wore things that were too tight until they no longer fit and that is when I eventually started wearing size 8s. It took forever to actually come to grips with the fact that I had to grab an 8 when shopping but I did. Now that I am back in 6s I find that I still reach for 8s, “just in case,” but they are always big on me. It’s a great feeling but also makes me realize just how much weight affects our brain and thinking.

The husband read this article in Portfolio Magazine last month and I have been meaning to share it. Definitely an eye opener for anyone who eats Fast Food. He read this just after his surgery, which if you remember is when he had a big crazy burger from Carl’s Jr. No more after he read this article. He was totally disgusted. This doesn’t mean that we have boycotted fast food altogether but it has made him really think a lot more about what he orders after reading the calories etc.

Brought to you by: news-markets: Article: Fat Profits Joe Keohane Jan 13 2008 You want onion rings with that? They’re already in the burger—along with bacon, cheese, BBQ sauce, and a corporate philosophy that says to hell with the health police. How a fast-food chain is pushing gluttony to new extremes and changing America’s attitude toward eating. Read More Go to: http://www.portfolio.com/services/referral?messageKey=e9b6343cb72d451464c99cf983bcf44d     Portfolio.com © 2007 Condé Nast Inc. All rights reserved. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy.

I’ve started so many posts in the past week, but then I never finish them. So this one may be really random but I’m going to try and just post a couple things.

First off I want to compare January and February #s. You all know that I weigh every day right? Well, I also both use google15 and Roni’s graph to help with my #s obsession. For as much as my weight fluctuates day to day, it seems that I truly am maintaining. Which is great, except for the fact that I still want to lose.

Starting weight January 2, 2008 - 136.4
Ending weight January 31, 2008 - 134.8
Lowest weight in January - 133
Highest weight in January - 137
Overall +/- for January - +.2

Starting weight February 1, 2008 - 134.6
Ending weight February 29, 2008 - 135.6
Lowest weight in February - 134
Highest weight in February - 136.8
Overall +/- for for February - +1

We have started the March Exercise Challenge in our Spark Team, only this month we are stepping it up a bit with a group challenge along with everyones individual goals.
We are doing an ab challenge for the entire month which includes 10 planks a day, 5 days a week and Weighted Side Bends, 30 on each side 5 days a week. I vote for/suggested 5 days a week with 2 days off, mainly because the 2 exercises combined will take 10-15 max and everyone voted for abs so why not kick it into high gear and get ready for Summer.

The challenge starts tomorrow so if anyone is interested you can still join us as long as you comment or email me by 10pm PST tonight so that I can add you to the team (it’s a private group on SP).

Last weekend I made 2 new meals, Creamy Pesto with Turkey Balls (5 pts) and Nachos Sin Carne (7pts). Click on the links for the full recipes.


Yesterday I did over 3 hours (220 minutes) of exercise throughout the day and loved it!

• Walk to and from Flamenco class - 10 minutes total
• Flamenco class - 60 minutes
• Hula Buns & abs DVD - 30 minutes
• Approx. 6 mile walk with the husband - 120 minutes

Lastly, I’m sure everyone has seen either the latest HG’s newsletter or the commercials about the calories in Glacéau VitaminWater. Well I found a cheaper alternative at Costco. They call theirs Vita Rain and it has 0, that’s ZERO, calories per serving/bottle and it tastes pretty much the same as far as I’m concerned.