Monthly Archive

Typically when I feel emotional I stop eating. Shit, that’s how I lost like 30+ pounds as a teen and went from a 12 to a 4. Something big happens and my body shuts down. When I’m sad, I stop eating, when I get angry I stop eating, a happy occasion and again not so much about the food but yesterday I caught myself.

I was doing soso, and then my friend called and gave me some great news that I had mixed feelings about. It was so hard to be happy for her because of how her news affected me but I managed. I did however suddenly find myself thinking “fuck it!”
I had my salad from Boudin and was contemplating the cookie, remember? Well, after her and I got off the phone I took a bite, luckily it wasn’t good so I spit it back out and tossed it. Then I looked around, saw the chips that I had actually set aside for my coworker who is a chipaholic, and said “FUCK IT,” and ate them. Now with the amount of food that I have been ordering these days, there have been chips a plenty and I have resisted the urge, by giving them to my coworker, but yesterday I was stressed out and upset at the same time. The news was like a punch in the gut and I didn’t know what to do. Now, I did want the chips before my friend called, but I told myself that they were for S. So it’s not like I just reached for the first thing. Between the bread, caesar dressing and chips I felt gross and bloated, not to mention I was drinking water like it was going out of style. Then later around 3:30pm more food appeared. Middle Eastern maza type, one of my favs! At first I said no thank you to the person that offered me some, but once I went to help clean up I saw it and grabbed a falafel, some tabuleh and about 2 TBS of garlic potatoes. WTF was I thinking? Again, not feeling so well. It was at that point that I said to myself “I’m a closet stress eater!” Now I can’t think of many other times that I have done this, but it’s definitely something that I need to be aware of.
Needless to say, yesterday was not a good day, except for hula class.

On to better things…
Last night was the first class and I loved it. I realize that I do much better with dances that require me to be barefoot and move my hips LOL, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not going to pursue my Flamenco classes. My shoes arrived in the mail today so I have then just in time for class tomorrow. That’s about it for my week. I’ll post my food and goal update in a separate post, once I get it all together.

I’m pretty computer savvy but have yet to familiarize myself with technorati. I have seen links to it before but what is the point of it and is there a way to remove your blog from it? I tried googling it and will continue to do so but wanted to see if any of you out there know?
I love the internet and how accessible everything is but is there a way to have a public blog without having it picked up by sites like technorati or feeds or google blog search?

Last week some random dude posted a comment (on this blog, not my private one which is the duplicate of this, but includes personal pictures and super personal stuff) on how he found me on technorati and added me to his RSS feed, I clicked on his site and it’s a fucking advertising blog.

Today a chick leaves a comment saying that she found me on google blog search and has added me to her RSS feed, I click on her link and it’s a fucking addiction site. Her comment was on my previous post about me and bread. So because I mention crack and addiction in a post about my fiucking lunch and love of bread she finds me. What the fuck!?!

So once again I feel violated and freaked out. Yea, yea, I know, that’s what I get for having a public blog. But does this happen to anyone else or do I just attract the nutjobs?

I’ve been enjoying my new readers, especially the ones from the Healthy You Challenge but come on people. THIS IS A WEIGHT LOSS BLOG!!!!!!! No advertising, no drugs. no fucking addiction.

Sorry but I’m really pissed and irritated and contemplating the stictly private blog, once again.

I freaking LOVE bread. That’s all there is to it. Remember a couple weeks ago when I ate too much bread? Well the other admin is on medical leave and I am all alone to support the whole fricken department. So far it hasn’t been horrible but damn there are a lot of lunch meetings, which means I have been ordering lunch every damn day and eating leftovers. Tuesday I had a sandwich with BREAD. And not just any bread but Boudin bread. Which if you’ve ever had it, you know its like the best shit out there in terms of true SF sourdough bread. Well guess what I’m having today? A Boudin salad with BREAD! AND, you know what? I’m dipping it in some caesar dressing. It’s like fucking crack I tell ya. Not that I’ve ever done crack or any other drug for that matter but I’ve heard it’s addicting, just like this bread! So really, my addiction could be worse right? Oh, wait, did I mention that the salad had croutons. Little bits of seasoned, crunchy sourdough goodness! Damn you Boudin for making such YUMMY shit!

At least I am eating a salad though so that will help, plus I already did morning stairs AND I’m going to Hula tonight so I should be okay.

Ok, that’s all for now. I just had to share my inner bread deamons with you. Oh, my salad came with a cookie too. I haven’t even looked at it yet, but I’m hoping that it is a gross one that I can easily dispose of without guilt. Otherwise I may have to take a bite and then toss it.

DAMN YOU lunch meetings!!!!!!!!!

I meant to post about this on Monday when I posted about the Lettuce Wraps but I forgot. I had this for the first time at my parent’s house during Sunday dinner (it’s a weekly event). It’s called Broccoli Salad and you can see it in the background of my “wings” picture. It’s like a slaw and is basically shredded broccoli stalk mixed with carrot and red cabbage. It’s really yummy and totally not what you expect. The package from Costco is a kit that comes with the broccoli salad, broccoli florets, dressing and a topping of soy nuts, sunflower seeds and dried cranberry. I served just the “slaw” part (and some straggler florets) with topping and used my own mustard vinaigrette. Very yummy and refreshing and a LOT of chewing. Which I like because it makes me feel like I am burning more calories while eating AND you get filled up faster. It’s definitely a repeat buy for us and a nice change to your typical lettuce salad.

Here are some pics of the bag since I can’t find anything on line.

1. Not much to report today but I will post my food yesterday since I accidentally fell asleep in the middle of posting. I did 2 sets of stairs and had a little over 15 glasses of water! I’ll post more later today.

   Once again the totals

   Goals for the week:
   1. Log and post daily food even if I eat out and can’t figure out the calories/points. CHECK!
   2. Exercise - 3 things other than daily stairs. Minimum of 20 minutes in 1 session in order to count. Not yet but I did do 2 sets of stairs so I moved.
   3. Post this exercise in the SP Challenge group and include it in my daily food grid Oops, I forgot
   4. Detox - STOP eating the crap and go back to eating healthy Half CHECK (I had half a cookie today)
   5. Drink 12 glasses of water a day CHECK, I drank 15!!!

Nothing too exciting to post about today. I went to Costco and found a couple of cook foods. Then I came home. Allergies are still kicking my ass. I’ve slacked on my herbs so it is taking linger than it should to get rid of them. The good thing is that my sinuses have been spaired but my nose is running a 5K. I did buy yet another DVD while at Costco. It’s claled the 12 second sequence with Jorge Cruise. It is 2 exercise DVDs plus a bonus coaching one (that should be intersting) for $14.99. It claoms to shrink your waist in 2 weeks with just 2 20 minute workouts a week. We shall see!

I wanted to exercise today, I really did. I thought about it so much but I’m just not up to it. When my face is leaking the last thing I want to do is exert extra energy tha tmay cause me to sweat. No biggie though since my goal is not daily exercise but 3 things (that means times in my weird head lingo).

Speaking of goals let’s see how I did…

1. Goals for the week:
   Log and post daily food even if I eat out and can’t figure out the calories/points. CHECK!
2. Exercise - 3 things other than daily stairs. Minimum of 20 minutes in 1 session in order to count. Not yet
3. Post this exercise in the SP Challenge group and include it in my daily food grid CHECK even though I did not exercise
4. Detox - STOP eating the crap and go back to eating healthy Half CHECK (I had corn nuts today)
5. Drink 12 glasses of water a day CHECK!!!

Not too shabby if I do say so myself.

For dinner tonight we tried the HG’s Boneless Chicken Wings. I had seen these on the HG site when they were first posted but it wasn’t until AJ posted about them that I really wanted to try them. With the exception of making about 3 times as much as the original recipe I actually followed the recipe exactly. Ok, well not EXACTLY, we didn’t have any FF chips so I used 1 oz from the “tub-o-chips” that I told you aboutlast week. Based on how much we made it worked out to 4 good sized servings and 6pts a serving. All in all they were good but kinda dry. The husband rated them a 5.75 on a scale of 10. With 1 being my meatless buffalo wings (he HATES those) and 10 being Hooter’s.

I will definitely make them again but next time instead of just using Frank’s as the moisture I plan to add NF plain yogurt so that the nuggets stay moist and I’ll leave out the chips, I don’t really think that they added much to the crumb other than calories. Other than that the breading was good and it stuck to the chicken way better than I thought, and they did come out crispy.

Click here to see how I made them.

(tub-o-chips)

And now for Monday’s food

And the Totals

I found these at Costco today. I was skeptical at first but they were giving out samples so I got in line :). I can’t turn down free samples (unless it’s something I don’t eat). They aren’t as good as PF Chang’s Soothing Lettuce Wraps but for something that comes in a box they are awesome!

It’s $8.99 for a box that contains 2 containers with everything you need for the lettuce wrap. Including the lettuce cups! What more can you ask for. According to the box a serving size is 2 wraps and there are 3 servings per container. So in 1 box you get 6 servings, 12 wraps! Now they aren’t the lowest in points when you consider that 2 equals 3 points, but you are getting some veggie and protein so all in all its not horrible. The husband and I shared both containers for lunch today and it was totally filling and worth the money.

2 wraps

Cal: 150

Fat: 2.5

Saturated Fat: .5

Sodium: 640

Carb: 16

Fiber: 1

Sugar: 9

Pretein: 14

According to the box..

“Each kit contains nearly half a head of crisp iceberg lettuce cups which are hand trimmed and read for filing. Also included is an 8oz pouch of fully cooked boneless chicken, fancy shitake mushrooms and crisp water chestnuts, which have been simmered in a richly flavored sauce. A pouch of delicate crispy rice noodles provide crunch, and the tangy dipping sauce lends the Asian flavor that makes these wraps taste just like the ones you order in high-end restaurants!”

I’m still amazed at how much water plays a role in weight loss, gain and maintenance. If you read yesterday’s post then you know how quickly I was “gaining” daily just because I wasn’t drinking enough water. Well yesterday I had 9 glasses, not the best but at least the recommended minimum and guess what? I woke up -1.4 lighter. Now I KNOW it had nothing to do with what I at because it was not a super OP day. I had latkes for breakfast, pizza for lunch and wine, rice, beans and chicken, oh and 3 tortillas for dinner. Clearly water played a role in my loss. So today I will drown myself in water and drink a minimum of 12 glasses, ideally 16 and we shall see how things play out for the week.

The title of this post is “Day 1″ because I am kicking my own ass into gear and getting back on track. I am doing some major Costco shopping today so that we can have not only food but more healthy options along with healthy snacks. I’m going to continue to log in SP but will log points in a grid that I just created in excel. Not sure why but logging in WWO seems like a hassle to me and I think that is part of why I haven’t been doing it. Since I created my grid in excel this time instead of using Dreamweaver, I can use google docs to import it into my blog without much hassle. I will post my log even if it is incomplete because I know that is part of why I haven’t been posting, because I like things perfect and if they aren’t then I just won’t continue. So this week I will fight against my perfectionist tendencies and see what happens.

Goals for the week:

1. Log and post daily food even if I eat out and can’t figure out the calories/points
2. Exercise - 3 things other than daily stairs. Minimum of 20 minutes in 1 session in order to count. Post this exercise in the SP Challenge group and include it in my daily food grid
3. Detox - STOP eating the crap and go back to eating healthy
4. Drink 12 glasses of water a day

Like my math? If you read Friday’s post you know that I was not only having a helluva day but I also mentioned my wonderful food week (NOT).
I ended my day with going to the chiropractic and can I just say that she is amazing! My thumb is still a little sore but it pops again and no longer feels like it’s jammed up and short. My right ankle feels great (yea that one was slightly bothering me too), and my left ankle is back at like 90% (I go back on Wednesday for another adjustment) and I got some more BioFreeze to out on before bed which also helped a ton! I really do wish I knew what I did to my left ankle but oh well, at least I am treating it. I’m also didn’t go to Flamenco dance class because that is the only thing I can contribute the possibility of jacking it up to. Especially since I wore regular “street” heels and may have stomped a little too hard in order to accomplish the sound. So today I am ordering the right shoes so that I can go and stomp my ass off next week.

Now for the scale. Last week was just crazy with work and stress and no good food in the house. Some days I ate decent and other days I ate only 1 meal. I knew that it wasn’t good but with everything that was going on I just couldn’t even get myself to eat enough. Funny how the scale has reflected that plus lack of water in a completely different direction that I would have thought in the past. After almost a year on this journey and all of my scale experiments I had a feeling what would happen.
Lowest weight this month was on 2/13

2/13 - 134, totally stressful day at work. Couldn’t eat breakfast and snacked on crap starting around noon. Only decent meal was dinner and that was chicken and veggies. Maybe 8 glasses of water. Chinese frozen meal for dinner.

2/14 - 135, WOW, 1 pound over night. That day I didn’t eat my first bit of anything until about 2:30pm and even then it was just a few bites, not an actual meal. Then dinner was at 8pm and I think I may have only had about 6 glasses of water if that.

2/15 - 135.6, wow another gain. Interesting considering the day before. Clearly water weight. Tried to eat 3 meals today but once again water was minimal as was F&V. Grilled cheese and coup for dinner. Very high in sodium.

2/16 - 136.6, another pound over night. Wonder what happened? How can not eating enough be working against me?

2/17 - 136.8, only a .2 gain. I had more water yesterday but still only like 6 glasses. I did eat 3 meals although they they were all eaten out. half a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast, falafel for lunch, flax seed chips for a snack and pizza and salad for dinner.

Trying to do better today although we started the day with potato latkes (from a box) and since my allergies are still around my taste buds are all jacked up so I started craving sweet and grabbed some candy. Already had 4 glasses of water and about to have more. Will do my best for the rest of the day but tomorrow is ON. I am going grocery shopping and restocking up on the good food so that I can get back on track. I NEED to see 133 again like I did last month.

S note to self and others. EAT your food! But be sure it is healthy food, lots of F&F and WATER!

I have no idea what happened but today has not been so great. I got the beginnings of an allergy attack on Tuesday but was fortunate enough to be able to get into acupuncture on Wednesday to nip it in the bud (yes I go to acupuncture on a regular basis, especially when I’m not feeling well) . The treatment went well and I got some herbs and I’ve been better since. Not totally out of the woods but not about to die either.
My right thumb has been feeling tight for about a week now and I have no idea why. It feels like I need to crack it but it won’t snap like usual.
Somehow I jacked up my left ankle this week and I have no idea how. I have no recollection of falling down or banging it (which would be totally typical for me) so I don’t know what’s up with it. I looked at it last night and there were some veins around the bone that I didn’t recognize but I have no idea, it’s not like I stare at my ankles much, plus their both tattooed so it’s not like I could see any color changes or bruising. As the day has progressed I realized that I was limping, which I’m sure looks totally insane to passers by considering I’m wearing heels. Luckily my chiropractor has an opening tonight so that she can hank it back into place. The only thing I can think of is that I messed it up in dance class last week for not having proper shoes. I really have no idea but this may prevent me from going back tomorrow which is a total bummer.

In addition to the thumb and ankle I have my Mittelschmerz which is causing me to feel bloated and constipated (sorry TMI) and achy. Oh and it hurts to walk too, and regardless of what they say, tylenol or advil or any of that shit doesn’ t work, not to mention I hat taking pain meds. Luckily it only lasts for about a day.

And to top it all off I’m having a really bad hair day! Oh, and I’ve had a super busy and stressful week which has prevented me from eating much or drinking enough water and guess what, the scale is UP instead of down. WTF. Yea, so go eat your food and I’ll try to eat mine. I ate 1 meal yesterday and the scale went up. I have had a salad today, and some FF frozen yogurt and I’m about to eat some Thai sticky rice and mango. Maybe not the best choice but I need food and I’m cranky so I’m gonna eat something good. I know I have the calories/points to spare considering the lack of food this week.

So other than the brokenness I had a nice valentines day with the husband. Nothing extravagant, just dinner at our favorite Nepalese restaurant. Oh and he sent me 3 dozen roses that arrived on the 13th so that made me happy. He forgot my card at work yesterday (or so he says) so we are exchanging cards tonight. I’m HUGE on cards so it’s a big deal to me to do it, even if it is a day late. Just means that we get to celebrate longer. In all honesty I’m not super huge on Valentine’s Day in general. I used to be when I was single because I always wanted a “Valentine” and now that I have one I realize that every day is special so February 14th is just another excuse to go to dinner and give each other cards.

I haven’t been posting much about food or my weight because neither has been stellar these days. Like Tina, when there is no food in the house my eating goes out the window. I do have Monday off though so I plan to stock up then and get back on track, plus my Hula class starts next week so I have that to look forward to as well. Hopefully I’ll have something more exciting and motivating to post about then. In the mean time I have a ton of links and articles that I may share this weekend in case any of you get bored.

First I’d like to thank Tina for well, awarding me. What an honor! Wow, I’m totally stoked and shocked! I’ve never received a blog award before but I’ve secretly always wanted one. Now I have one. I must add it to my side bar. How sweet of her to think of me.

Unlike Tina I’ve never wanted to present at the awards shows because I’m too shy, but I’ve always wanted to attend so that I could wear a kick ass designer dress. So with that I will make my nominations and sit back and watch everyone make their speeches :).
There’s only rule. Hand it out to as many people as you’d like.
I’d like to award this to: (not mentioning anyone who was already awarded this from Tina because I don’t think doublezies counts, otherwise I would.)
Tina
Not because she gave it to me but because she is awesome. There are a handful of us who started this journey around the same time and all through Roni’s community. Tina is one of those, and from day one she has had me laughing to the point of crying with the way she describes her WIs and Hostess obsessions. Plus I know that her and I would have a blast while eating ourselves silly at an Indian restaurant while fighting over the chicken tikka masala. And she likes when I stalk her
ScaleJukie
Diana is such an inspiration and so eager to help and support others. Plus she has 2 adorable pups who have their own blog.
SisterSkinny

Because they make me laugh and inspire me to work out, not that I do it as often as either of them but technically I am, by association :). AND Katieo also happens to be the Queen of Planks with really cute super fast running littles who could kick my ass in a mall run or plank session (especially that littlest one).

Diet Coke and Zingers

What can I say, I like a good laugh and Becky does that. She tells it like it is without sugar coating and just look at her before and after pics. Need I say more?
Candace
Another one from the OG days (sorry I just had to say it). I feel like I’ve known Candace from day 1, and technically I have. From day 1 of my journey almost a year ago. She is always there to lend support and shares great ideas in her posts and lately she is even kicking some serious ass with her work outs. Another who I count towards my working out by association :).

I get suckered into these damn DVDs every time I see them on TV. I got the Bender Ball only to lose the DVD and now I just have the stupid ball. But I will admit that the few times that I got to use both the ball and DVD I did feel it with just a few moves. This past weekend I saw a commercial for Crunchless Abs that piqued my interest. I know it is possible to work your core without site ups or specific ab moves because we used to do it in Belly Dance all the time but the subliminal messages in these commercials reach into my head and make me want to make an impulse buy. Has anyone else seen the commercial? Does anyone else have them?

They advertise that you get the set for $9.99 but it’s really $12.99 unless you want the VHS, then you can get them for $9.99. Now for $12.99 it looks like you get 3 DVDs and some random soup meal plan which seems like a decent deal, after all most DVDs are at least $14.99 in the stores. HELP! Please comment if you have these and let me know what you think.

And I totally forgot. What a bad mom I am. We do have a date this weekend (with the groomer) so I’ll be sure to buy him something extra then. Not like he cares, the little furball has a basket of toys and he prefers to play with socks. If you have access to my other blog go check out some pictures of us over the years and if you don’t then here is one to give you an idea of what he looks like.

We take so many pictures of him that he now knows to pose when he sees the camera or a phone pointed at him (camera phone). I’ll have to take a before and after of him this weekend when we go to the groomers.
Any other doggie crazies our there on Dogster? If so be his friend here!

Just when you think your done learning about my idiosyncrisies, I see another meme!  This is one is courtesy of Hanlie.

A - Age: 29 again
B – Bed size: Eastern King which is slightly different from a Cal. King
C - Chores you hate: All of them
D - Dessert you love: Kenefe (Turkish cheese dessert)
E - Essential start your day item: 24 oz of COFFEE!
F - Favourite actor(s): Joaquin Pheonix, John Travolta, Sean Connery adn many more
G - Gold or Silver: Silver
H - Height: 5′5″
I - Instruments you play: Flute and Tenor Sax
J - Job title: Executive Assistant
K - Kids: Hopefully soon
L - Living arrangements: Rent a 2bdrm house in the city
M - My name is: Starts with an R and I was named after a famous actress from the 70s (sorry I’m weird about posting my name)
N - Nicknames: swizzlepop is one that my husband calls me, there are many others that are too goofy to post
O - Overnight hospital stay: 2, once for my cervical cancer surgery (7days) and once for bladder surgery (4 days)
P - Pet Peeve:  People who talk at you instead of to you
Q - Favourite quote:  ”If I say it’s mine, it’s mine”
R - Right or left handed: Right
S - Siblings: 2 younger sisters
T - Time you woke up today: 6:30am
U - Unique habit: I like to carry  a small bag of snacks and stuff (papers, coupons, random stuff)everywhere I go. My husband calls it my weird little bag
V - Vegetable you hate: Beets
W - Wishing for:  A pregnancy later this year
X - X-rays you’ve had: Teeth, chest, ankle, brain, reproductive organs, toes, back, neck, veins and arteries (MRIs are included here)
Y - Yummy food you make: Soups, salads and chicken dishes, and cookies
Z - Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius Sun, Libra Rising and Pisces Moon

Now you know my ABC’s … Tell me yours

Crazy huh but that’s where I’m at again. I just calculated what I ate today thinking that I had totally gone over my calories but now.
This is what I have eaten so far minus my fancy grid
Breakfast: 3pts total

Coffee and Yo Digestive Health Vanilla Yogurt
Lunch: 11.5 pts total

6oz boneless, skinless chicken breast

3oz curly fries (I’m weak dammit what can I say)
Dinner: 8pts total

4 oz boneless, skinless chicken breast (I told you I only eat specific animals, and chicken is the main one)

1 C spaghetti squash

1/2 C polenta

1/16th C shredded cheese

small slice of chocolate rum bunt cake
Calories: 1012

Points: 22. oh yea and WWO decided to make my daily total 27 points since I made my goal. Great!
Sounds like enough food right? To me it did but I want chips. Oh, didn’t I tell you that my ILs brought us a TUB o Chips and not just any chips Martin’s chips that we can’t get out here in CA so they are super special! Yea last year they sent us a case of chips. WTF? I know they live in like the snack capitol but come on people, 2 people don’t need gobs of chips. So now that I have calculated my calories and points I see that I can have some of the chips. And yes I realize that my F&V is lacking and that I should eat that instead but we are all out and I’m spaghetti squashed out.
Snow now that we have assessed the situation I gave in and am now enjoying some satan chips. An just so you all can stop wondering about these tasty, crispy pieces of goodness here are some pictures of the Tub-O-Chips. Oh yes and they are a mixture tub of regular and “hot.” Oh yea, they also brought us a tin of Stauffer’s cookies. My PA blogging friends may be familiar with these. Good thing I’m not a chip AND cookie fiend.

Ok so that took my total points to 25.5 and the calories up to 1164. Still not the minimum calories needed. I’m totally back to my old habits of not eating enough or not the right foods or both. This is what caused me to stay at a high weight for so long. I must eat more. You know how some people have the “diet” mentality that they will lose and then reach goal and then be able to eat anything they want again because they lost the weight and the journey is over and then they gain? Well my end seems to mean that I can go back to not eating very much which means I stall. Works for maintenance I guess but not for still wanting to lose which is what I want to do. Talk about backwards food issue mentality. So many of you write about eating too much and not being able to stay on the wagon and I can’t always relate because I have my own food issues that I seem to not always like to talk about. And yea, in case any of you are wondering I did have minor eating disorders as a teen which I think still linger at times.

So I ate my chips but will try harder tomorrow to not only eat more but better.

You can thank or blame Tina for this one.
1. I have major food issues ranging from only eating specific animals to not letting certain foods touch. Ethnic foods like Indian or Ethiopian can touch but things like corn and mashed potatoes can NOT. I used to only be able to have one or 2 things on a plate and would totally freak out if they touched. I’m better now but still get weird if certain things touch.
2. I have to set the alarm clock in the bedroom 20 minutes fast to mess with my head. I know that it’s 20 minutes fast when you wake up thinking you’re late it works to scare you just long enough to jump out of bed, plus it makes me do math anytime I look at it. All other clocks in the house must be the exact time.
3. I’m super anal retentive about my appearance ie: must always have hair and nails done and jewelry on and ideally some make-up, but I am a total mess in my car, my side of the room (yes the husband’s side is totally neat), my couch (we each have our own) and my desk. I like to think it’s because of my creative mind, others may say that I have a disturbed mind.
4. I’m Sally of When Harry Met Sally when it comes to ordering food at a restaurant. On the side is a very big thing for me.
5. Even though I am a mess I usually know where everything is, even if it looks like garbage and I totally freak out, usually on my husband, for throwing away a random crumpled piece of paper that I left on the counter because I NEEDED it later and to him it looked like garbage. I prefer people to not touch any of my stuff.
6. I’m HUGE on personal space and don’t like people too close to me, because of this I have a tendency to barricade myself in areas like my cube. I am always have a few items on the floor around me like my laptop back or lunch bag, this way if people walk into my cube they can’t get too close, and if they do they risk tripping.
7. I don’t like small talk or talking to strangers in IRL so I have perfected the art of avoiding eye contact so as to not invite any unwanted conversations. My ex used to say that I would look right through people and it freaked him out one time when I did it to him LOL
8. I brush my teeth in the shower.
9. I like to wear mismatched socks.
10. I sleep with all my earrings (15), 5 bracelets, ering and wedding bands and a necklace so that I always wake up decorated. I put the rest on before I walk out the door.
11. I’m a dancer yet totally clumsy at the same time. I can be graceful when dancing but then trip over my own feet, while barefoot.

12. I’m obsessed with clipping coupons even if I don’t use them all. And I’ve been known to spend 2 hours grocery shopping because I constantly compare prices and NI

13. My lucky number so this will be the last one. I don’t like to move anything around as in redecorating. I like to move in and put everything where I want it and then never move it again. My mom used to move the living room around a few times and it would throw me into a tizzy every time. I’m a creature of habit and don’t like when people mess with my habit.

Now it’s your turn

That is what I need to do. As I was driving home from work the other day I realized how much more confidence I had when I was a dancer. I was confident in my appearance, my abilities and in general. I miss that but had forgotten about it for 4 years now. I taught my last Belly Dance class in December 2003 and found out about I had cervical cancer in January 2004. Before knowing what life had in store for me I decided to take a brief hiatus from teaching until that Summer. Little did I know that I would be struggling with walking at that point and that dancing was out of the question. By 2005 I felt like I could start dancing again and did take a few Samba classes from my old instructor but my leg still wasn’t up to par at that point, not to mention I had managed 2 major clumsy casualties resulting in broken toes and a gashed up knee so I went about 3 or 4 times and then stopped again. Mentally it was too hard to acknowledge the fact that I had to start over. I went from being a performer and dance teacher myself to beginning status simply because of an illness. I couldn’t get past the fact that I had been through so much and should be grateful for being able to feel “normal” again, I just wanted to dance and feel like me again. Instead of pushing through I gave up. I keep talking about it and mentioning it here but I also keep coming up with excuses as to why I haven’t gone back to dancing. Until yesterday…
Yesterday morning I bit the bullet and decided to check out a Flamenco class that is literally less than 3 blocks from my house. I’ve always wanted to take Flamenco but just hadn’t done it yet. Because of the style of Belly Dance (American Tribal Style) I was familiar with some aspects of Flamenco because it was used in ATS and I’ve always waned to “stomp.” I had emailed the instructor in January to find out if it was a drop in class and what to wear. So yesterday morning I took my lowest pair of heels and went to class. Unfortunately my lowest pair of heels are still higher than Flamenco shoes but considering it was my first class I didn’t want to make the investment in shoes just yet. The class was a hour long and a bit challenging but over all I did well considering it was my first class. Even the instructor and guitar player said that I caught on well. Now I am trying to find a cheaper pair of shoes on ebay since they run approximately $65 at the stores because I am definitely going back next week and hopefully every Saturday thereafter. The only bummer for me was that even though it was challenging, I didn’t break a sweat the way I used to in Belly Dance or Samba. Now there is another studio that is a bit further from my house but still in the general neighborhood that offers some dance classes so today I decided to take a peek at their site and they are now offering Hula! I LOVE Hula and have wanted to fond a class in ages. I took it years ago and loved it but it was at a hula studio with a troupe and it required more commitment that I was willing to give considering I was also Belly Dancing. Well this Hula class runs for 4 weeks and it starts in 2 weeks. I am so excited! I even ran outside to tell the husband about it. Now if I can manage to schedule things the right way and allocate enough money I should be able to do 2 dance classes a week and yoga at least once a week on a regular basis. I used to dance 3x a week at 3 hours a pop min. years ago but that was before I met my husband. Now I need to learn how to balance dance and married life. The good thing is that the husband totally supports me in this and has been pushing me to start dancing again, I just haven’t been ready. Now I am. Funny how things just click sometimes.
I’m so excited! I’ll keep you updated on how things go.

Katieo just posted in her blog asking “Why Do You Eat?” and other than totally hijacking her post with my long ass comment I think my answer was pretty right on. Funny thing though, that I read her post today, after having a good breakfast of yogurt and slivered almonds. I even packed my lunch today to have a healthy LF sammich. But then I realize my boss has lunch meeting proposed by someone else, this means that lunch must be provided. So I call the other admin and she said that she will order lunch and do I want anything too because just 2 people will not meet the minimum for the order. “Sure, I’ll take a caesar salad, thanks!”

The food arrives just after the morning round of stairs and for some reason I came back to my desk STARVING. I open the bag and see my salad, then realize that it is barely 11:30 so I will wait a few. Then by 11:4o I can’t take it, I want food! I get my salad and it has croutons. Not just any croutons but Specialty’s homemade croutons that are BIG and yummy. I remove the grossnasty anchovies (thank god they are in a separate container) and then the dressing and then proceed to eat all the croutons.  Now unlike my husband, the mindless eater, I think about each crouton as I eat it, and I only eat one at a time. So crunchy, and yummy and salty and  OMG I want  a bowl of just croutons. And just as I reach for another I realize they are all gone. I ate them all :(. Not like there were that many, only like 7 but still, I wanted more. Now I want the bread, nice and buttery and herby and focaccia. God why do they do this to me. I love bread, it’s one of my few food weaknesses that I do not allow myself to eat all the time or else I would probably turn into a big ol sourdough bread bowl. Poor lettuce, it sits there with yummy freshly grated parm and chicken breast and all I do is look at it as I reach for another bite of bread. WHY? What is it about bread, starch really, that is like crack?

I have now eaten all the croutons and half the piece or bread (approx a 2×4x1  rectangle - yes I measured) and I’m satisfied. My tummy is no longer famished, I have fooled it with bread and now I must force myself to eat the salad with minimal dressing in hopes to not only get some veggies in but to erase the damage of the bread.

I guess everyone has their weakness. For some it is baked goods, for others it is chocolate or Chinese or Hostess 100 calorie packs. Today, for me, it is BREAD.

I also have an apple that is looking at me wondering why I haven’t touched it yet.

I bet this has to do with the fact that the ILs have been in town and we have been eating out so much which unfortunately has also included lots of sandwiches and then pizza last night. My body is confused and thinks that we are reintroducing carb/starch/bread fest. No wonder. Ok, 2 more days and they head back east and I can go back to eating my version of “normal” which means no mas pan! (that’s Spanish for no more bread in case you were wondering what the hell I just typed) .

Ok, salad time, but not before I take one more bite of bread

For those who have been participating in the D.E.C. and the J.E.C. we are continuing for the month of February but in a different format. Going forward we will be setting our goals and reporting our results in a SparkTeam on SparkPeople. This will make it a bit eaier on me since I’ve been having a hard time in getting hte results posted and I hope that it adds a forum of encouragement with everyone. If you are interested in joining and have an SP account email me an I will send you our link.

So WI’d in Thursday because I had to. As a lifer you have to WI once a month and since Thursday was the last day of January (can you believe it?) I had no choice. I had avoided it long enough. I had a small loss, .6, which considering the scale and I kept duking it out the last 2 weeks and holidays and whatever else you wanna add I’ve lost since my last WI of December 4th. I’ve now technically been about the same weight since October, this maintenance isn’t bad now that I have a handle on it. If only I could get back to loss mode for a few more pounds and then back to maintaining. I was also surprised that there was a loss because TOM is here and that always makes me retain water, especially since the salt cravings have been pretty high this month.
Speaking of salt. I have a problem. I pack my healthy snacks like I did on Monday yet I manage to eat crap. Thursday wasn’t any different. My WI days are always bad anyway since I don’t eat or drink anything except my morning coffee until the noon WI. Which if course makes me STARVING but I know that even the lightest breakfast will show as a gain and I refuse to let that happen, so I patiently wait and then just eat during the meeting, after weighing in. I had yogurt and grapes, then later I had some melba with turkeyroni and then at about 3 I wanted somthing salty and crunchy so I went to the vending machine and got Chex Mix. I never eat that stuff but it was good but so salty that by the time I was done my tongue was burning from the salt and no amount of water makes that go away as fast as you’d like.
Dinner that night was homemade chicken soup that my mom made so I definitely got my veggies in there. So that’s about it. Originally when I started to type this I had a ton to say but now that I’m finishing it 3 days later I’ve managed to forget.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!