Monthly Archive

Today I am a devil and I look pretty damn cute if I do say so myself. No pictures yet but I’ll get one tonight and post it.
Who else dressed up? I’ve seen Carolyn’s (Pimpalicious) costume and Randi’s (sexy kitty). I wanna see more! :).
I feel a little weird posting now. Of course I now know who all is reading but I feel a weird sort of violated and hate that I had to make my blog private just so that I know my posts aren’t ending up in other places. Still nothing back from theweighwewere.com which is really irritating. Also I highly suggest that each of you check out their Today’s Updated Weight Loss Blogs because it poking around I have see A LOT of you on there and I just want to be sure that you know about it. A few ladies have posted that they were contacted by them and agreed or not to be listed but what gets me the most is that I was NEVER contacted and they just started adding me to their forums. Call me weird but I think it’s rude, not flattering. Ok, I’m done talking about them, the more I let it bug me the more control it has over me and I refuse to let them have that. So screw you theweighwewere for not asking permission. Had you emailed me I may have been flattered and excited and said yes and even bragged about it and posted it all over my blog, but you took that option from me so now you get this…

Not that they can see it, but it makes me feel better

On another note, I have decided that today will NOT count. I haven’t done badly at all today but it’s Halloween and you never know what kinds of Treats will be out there for me to have. I also did not work out last night but I did endure last minute Halloween stores and got over 7000 steps in for the day so that has to count for something doesn’t it? Tonight will be tough but it is day 5 and the challenge is to work out for 5 days so I have to at least do an SP video which will count right? Plus I NEED it so that I can show weigherinner lady who’s boss. Oh and BTW for those who asked, the lady who weighed me yesterday was the leader. I use the same title for whoever does the WI.

Nothing else too exciting to report other than I think knowing that I am on maintenance is making me a slacker right now. I don’t do well with change so it’s understandable. I need to kick it into gear again though. I MUST be at goal before my bday which is Dec. 4th. OMG that really just hit me. Okay THAT is my goal, to be at goal for my bday so that I can feel good on the day that I age backwards ;).

Hope everyone is having a great Halloween and able to stay OP during this candytastic time.

A few of you have asked to see this and it really isn’t anything spectacular, just me being anal retentive. But if you are interested I have loaded it here. I removed all of my info but included instructions. It’s pretty easy really. I have been using it since my 3.2 loss in August and comparing ever since. Feel free to use it and make it work for you and you can also email me or post a comment if you have quesitons. For my personal MASTER spreadsheet I also have a tab using Roni’s Progress Chart which I love and have also altered to use for my daily WI’s too so that I can see the dots go crazy day to day.

I have emailed them directly and actually even signed up so that I could email them through the site too. In total I have sent them 3 messages today and have yet to receive a response. The site in itself seems harmless and I’m sure it helps a lot of people but I don’t like the idea that they never bothered to even contact me to see if I wanted to be listed on their forums.

Lacey commented with this link, but Roni hasn’t set anything to automatically go to theweighwewere, you have to register with them and I hadn’t done that, plus the posts they are copying and posting are from my blogger blog which is totally separate. Roni suggested that they may have picked up my feed on their own since it’s popular. Yay for being popular, I guess, but BOO for them not asking. This is why I was always so leery about posting pictures. And yes I realize that by having a blog I am “out there for all to see” but I had set my settings so that I was only partially out there. I really hate to have to change all my settings and have my blog be invite only now but I’m totally weirded out by this. I hope to stay in touch with all of you (you know who you are) and that you don’t forget about me. You’ve all made this journey so fun and amazing for me! I’ll be changing things tonight so you should be getting an email from me or my blog by tomorrow.

For anyone else who is interested in seeing who is linking back to them you can check out Google Alerts and sign up.

Warning TMI and foul language to come.

1) I had to pay for the whole session and I will get a refund if I maintain and make goal in 6 weeks. Um hellfuckingO, I’ve hovered around 135 for more than 6 weeks already are you really questioning my ability to make my goal?! To quote

her: well there’s no guarantee that you’ll make goal

me: fine, then will I get a refund once I do?

her: yes

me: fine, can you weigh me now?

Are you fucking kidding me lady?! You’re questioning if I’m going to make goal? I was never overweight to begin with. I could have made 140 my goal and still been in the healthy range and made goal in the first 3 months but I wanted to be realistic and I have LOST. I’m wearing a new and apparently heavy sweater today and haven’t been able to drop a loaf in days.

Why in the hell can’t they account for that and why don’t they have a fancy schmancy WW scale like the one I have at home which would at least account for excess water weight. I’m so pissed. More so because it really pisses me off that they get all uppity sounding when you don’t lose. Um excuse me weigherinner lady, you were fat too at one point and you were standing there with someone else criticizing your weight, you should be more supportive, I am paying you after all!

So I gained 2.2 biotch, no need to get snotty with me! I’m still within the 2 pound cushion. Maybe I’m hormonal or cranky because I have excess food stuck in me.

I didn’t get to exercise last night but I still have 6 days to meet my challenge of 5 days. Which clearly I NEED because I lose so easily when I just exercise a bit. I will do this and show that damn weigherinner lady who’s boss!

Don’t forget to comment or send me your email if you still want to read my blog after tonight, especially all the Barbies and Christmas Challengers. Click here if you don’t know why.

Thanks for reading!

Okay, I’m not sure how this happened but I keep getting google alerts about link backs to my blog from theweighwewere.com and it’s pissing me off because I am not on that site at all. I don’t want to do this but I have to for now. It started with my maintenance post yesterday and then again when I posted asking about their site. Call me weird but I don’t like my blog suddenly posted somewhere that I am not a member and it is a forum site.

If you are a regular reader or reader who wants to still keep up with my blog please post a comment with your gmail email (your blogger user ID/email if you use blogger) and I will send you an invite to my blogger blog. I moderate all comments so no one else will see your email. I will also be making my WeightWatchen blog private until I figure out why this is happening. I think it works differently with WeightWatchen so you should be able to just bookmark my page and then add it to your google reader or check periodically, basically you won’t see my page on the main community page anymore as recently updated etc. I will leave things as is today but will be changing everything by tomorrow.

Thanks for understanding!

Is anyone familiar with this site? Somehow my latest maintenance post has been copied and posted there and I’m a little weirded out by it.

Is anyone familiar with this site? TheWeighWeWere.com. Please leave a comment if you are.

Thanks!

What does it mean really? According to WW I am now on maintenance and my first maintenance WI is tomorrow. According to ME I am still in weight loss mode. This past 2 weeks I have been a total slacker. I have only logged my food into SparkPeople but not in my tracker. I guess I kinda stopped counting points a while back and am really focusing more on calories which makes me wonder why I am re-enrolling in my 3rd session or WW tomorrow. I really think it’s for accountability. I mean I know I have all of you bloggers out there and Randi will totally kick my butt if I start to backslide but why am I paying for a program that I’m not totally following? I think it’s because I know that I am paying which means I won’t want to waste my money which means I have to stick to it right?
Now in case you’re wondering why I’m not really following the points system, it’s because I realized that for me it only worked for a little while. Maybe a long while but I want and like to see a good loss which in my world means a pound or more a week. In calculating how many points I should get it says I only get 19 because I do sit for most of the day, but it doesn’t take into account activity other that APs.
I remember reading that as a guesstimate 1 point was roughly 50 calories so in doing some math 19 points at 50 calories each is only 950 calories a day, that is STARVING and unhealthy. Of course the 50cal/1pt is a ROUGH equation and I know you all know that but still. After getting frustrated with my measly .2 and .4 losses I decided to start looking at my calories and saw that I was barely eating the recommended 1200 minimum a day with 19 points and going over my points all the time started stressing me out.
That is when I started the whole Calories vs Points experiment and came to realize that I NEED about 24 points a day in order to lose and that doesn’t include FPs or APs. So I started eating that many points and guess what? I totally started dropping the weight. Then I got cocky and wanted to cheat the system and was eating lots of frozen meals and using V8 as my F&V substitute. Guess what, I gained. Same points, same calories yet I gained and played with 2 pounds only they weren’t fat they were WATER. It took a while and some frustration to figure this out and that is when the “Master Spreadsheet” was born. I also figured out that I NEED to exercise. Not a whole lot but that I do need some, like 2 hours a week which really isn’t much. I did that and watched everything and finally lost last week. YAY. All of my brain racking and tracking paid off, I found MY formula. But then I stopped. Not the food part, I still did well but I didn’t exercise last week. I did my planks for 2 days and then life got in the way and I didn’t exercise at all until I took the dog for a walk yesterday. A .8 mile walk that barely took 15 minutes. He was pooped but I could have kept going. This week MUST be different!
The good thing is that my home scale has stayed in the 135s regardless of what I have been eating and although I was good I did eat 1927 calories on Saturday because we had MickyD’s for breakfast. Why did we do that you ask? Because we could. Because I lost last week and so did the husband (remember his make believe gain?). And in my head it was an okay thing to do. I’m in “maintenance” after all and don’t they tell you to add more points? The thing is, how does more points (calories for me) not equal a gain? Or does it and that is what that 2 pound cushion is for? I don’t get it and I probably won’t get a loss tomorrow either but I’m okay with it because I didn’t exercise last week.
This week I MUST exercise and I MUST go back to my personal plank challenge because I want another loss, I want to be out of the 130s.

Oh wait, so back to why I’m sticking with WW. Well, I have learned A LOT and it has made me and my husband a lot healthier and I do like the support from the meetings. My only fear is that once I hit Lifetime, will I continue to go? Will I still remain as motivated? I know I’m not going to go all gung ho and eat all kinds of shit that I’ve stopped eating. And after looking at our recent credit card statement I realize that we have eat out WAY too much in the last 2 months instead of grocery shopping so that is coming to a halt and we are limiting ourselves to eating out twice a month and actually going grocery shopping and stocking up the cupboards for the first time in months because we both enjoy cooking meals together we’ve just gotten lazy. So I will pay for WW and hope that I will only have to pay for the 6 weeks instead of the full 17 (we pay for 17 weeks at a time for the at work program) and then hope that I remain accountable and don’t slack. I mean, I’ve come this far, I’ve aired my dirty weight laundry out there for you all to see I have to put my money where my mouth is and stay a 6 and under 135. I can do this, I WILL DO THIS.

Okay, clearly the gloomy weather is getting to me because I ate regular cheese twice today. UGH!!! I hope I have time to exercise tonight. It’s not even 3:30 and I’ve already eaten 1147 calories today. That’s not good, but other than the cheese it has all be very healthy and I even have a M&M fun size bag here on my desk that I grabbed but have not touched (I like to hide candy in case I need it for a future date).

Sorry for being so random and all over the place. Hope everyone is having a great OP day and week.

Observations…
Drinking more water - The more water I drink the more water my body craves and the more water my body gets used to. There were 2 or 3 days last week that I struggled to get at least 12 glasses of water in because my day was so hectic that I couldn’t drink most of it at work like I usually do. 8 glasses wasn’t enough and I was finding myself thirsty in the evening and I was getting headaches. SO apparently my body now needs at least 12 ounces a day just to feel balanced.

I see the new thinner me when I look in the mirror or catch my reflection but I don’t feel it yet. Does that make sense? It’s like my brain is a bit slow to catch on to the fact that I have lost weight. My eyes see it but my brain doesn’t fully acknowledge it yet.

I can say NO to things that aren’t healthy and choose the healthier option without torturing myself. We had a half day Halloween party at work on Friday and there was tons of junk food and I ate 2 pieces of candy. I started at the cookies and cupcakes and they smelled good but after standing there for a while I couldn’t decide what I wanted and that is when I realized that I didn’t REALLY want it and that I can just look at some foods and fee satisfied now. I used to be that way all the time before and I’m happy to see that it is coming back.
The healthier I eat the healthier I become and I crave junky/unhealthy foods less. I’m not saying I don’t eat the junk anymore but I can take it or leave it and when I take it I allow myself and enjoy a small portion and when I leave it, I feel satisfied and don’t regret my decision. I’m even choosing the F&V much faster than before and I’m eating them daily and like it :).

Now for challenges…
Do you like challenges? Are you part of the 2007 Christmas Challenge but wondering what you will do once that is over? Check out Scale Junkie’s idea for 2008.

In my attempts to catch up on everyone’s blog I saw reading Adora’s posted about The Essential Eight. Definitely something that I want to print and keep handy. I know that I eat those things on occasion but not daily. I want to try and come up with a way to get the essential 8 in at least every other day but it’s easier than it looks.

I got a note today for the Free Mamograms and realized that I have a reminder sent to me daily to remember to click on the Animal Rescue site but nothing else. It really does only take a second and it’s FREE, so please look and click through these and maybe evem have a remider sent to your email daily so that you can help without having to do anything but click on a link and clicking a button.

The Breast Cancer Site

The Animal Rescue Site

The Hunger Site

The Child Health Site

The Literacy Site

The Rainforest Site

No dance class last night after all but I have a good reason. Remember the other day when I was upset about my old boss moving away. Well once I got hold of myself I called and spoke to him and asked if it was okay to stop by for a few minutes to say bye in person. Because of the move and movers the only days to really stop by were Monday or Tuesday so I choose Tuesday so after work the husband and I went over and ended up staying for an hour. It was so great to see my boss (he’ll always be my boss even though he is retired) and his wife and just chat for a bit. I’m still sad to see them go but we’ll keep in touch and I feel MUCH better having had the opportunity to say bye in person. And as the husband says, I really do do better in one on one situations. I’m not very social so partys and get togethers make me feel awkward because I can’t really be myself. After we left we decided to go to dinner so we went to BJ’s. Did you know that they don’t have NI on their site? What a bunch of BS! SO I am still attempting to calculate what I ate last night. (SESAME CHICKEN SALAD An unforgettable salad of thinly sliced Napa cabbage with grilled, marinated breast of chicken, toasted almonds, crisp wontons, red bell peppers, green onions, mandarin oranges, sesame seeds and our sweet sesame dressing.) I’m sure it was fine except for the wontons and I definitely ate all of those. I love wontons! It was HUGE and at least 4 cups of cabbage so I easily got my veggies in. We also decided to order an appetizer since we were only having salad for dinner so we split the Avocado Egg Rolls. Originally the husband wanted a burger but realized that it wasn’t great although I told him that if he didn’t eat the bun or chipotle mayo it would be okay. Then the waiter came by and asked if we wanted to start with anything and that is when the husband decided on the avocado egg rolls and that we would split that and each have salad (I was gonna have a salad either way). him: we can split that and then have salads and it won’t be too bad right? me: well not horribly but the egg rolls can’t be “healthy” although they do have avocado and that is a good fat. What did you have for lunch? him: my salad and everything that I packed me: so you really need some protein, and I didn’t eat much either so we should be okay. him: yea and I was 208 this morning which is my lowest in a long time me: true, but I thought you said your pants were starting to feel tight him: maybe I’m making it up, maybe it’s all in my head. I don’t know, I thought they felt tight but I could be just making it all up. I totally laughed. I could not believe that he said that. So we ate and had a good time. No major exercise once we got home but I did to SIX planks. Yup you read that correctly S I X planks! And believe it or not, they are getting easier! WOOHOO!!! I will be at 10 in no time. I think that once I hit 10 at 30 seconds I will start to do half at 30 and half at 1 minute. If I survive that then I don’t even know what I will do, 10 at a minute each? That just sounds insane but it may be what I need in order to accomplish some up down elbow or slidy planks. For those who are wondering what started this plank madness you really must start at the beginning and read this and this. Then when you are done be sure to stop by Sister Skinny and tell Katieo how much she kicks ass on the planks. Then click here to see a “processional” do them even though I think Katieo does a great job demonstrating them so does not claim to be a pro. Oh and just to follow up on the husband’s weight. I told him to weigh again this morning but that he may be retaining water after last night especially because I sure was. Nope the bugger was even less. Apparently yesterday was 208.6 and today was 208 exactly. When he came in to tell me again I asked… me: That’s great! but then why were you complaining that your pants were tight? him: I don’t know, I guess I made it all up. I thought they felt tight but I guess not. It must be all in my head. Oh and I also asked him how he knew about the fiber and he said that a long time ago I had mentioned something about the calories and the fiber and that more fiber meant less points and that he remembered and that was how he knew. The guy never remembers what he wore the day before but he remembered the fiber rule. LOL

I lost 2.2! Finally breaking away from 136 and 137. I am officially 134.6! YIPEE!!!

This morning’s WI was 135.6 and I was going to be happy to see that on the “official” scale but I got a surprise. That is one number that I have not seen yet during this journey. The only bummer is that I didn’t get a 3rd star :(. I am .2 away from a 15 pound loss but at least I am headed back in the right direction! Looks like the 3 a day F&V minimum and 3-4 days of exercise really paid off!

I also decided to change my WW goal to 135. I did this for a few reasons. 1) I’ve hovered around that number for weeks now so I know I can maintain it. 2) It will be easier to maintain in the future and it seems that I can weight 135 and still be a size 6 so that makes me happy. 3) I am still aiming for my 127 goal which means I have A LOT of leeway in case I gain and will still be within my goal and able to maintain Lifetime status. So as of next week I am on maintenance. And if I stick to what I did last week that I will totally be at my own goal by the time the 6 weeks/weigh ins is over.

Of course you know that I must now analyze what I did this week compared to past weeks so here are some charts…

The weeks that I had good losses…

On 8/14 I lost 3.2. This is what I ate the week prior to WI.

Then on 8/22 I lost 2.8.

On 9/11 I lost 1.2

And lastly this past week a 2.2 loss

I think that for ME I need to really watch my sodium, make sure I eat more than the minimum protein so at least 70g a day but closer to 85, eat AT LEAST 3 F&V a day AND EXERCISE at least 3 times a week for 20 minutes minimum in addition to the daily stair torture. Not rocket science right? Just commitment, Commitment, COMMITMENT and getting it so that all of these things become second nature again. I did it before so I know I can do it again but I need to work on getting it to become second nature like before.

And here is one where I gained 1.4 . Right after the week I made 10%

Lost of sodium, only stairs for exercise and some of that F&V was V8, I also ate a lot of SO’s frozen meals that week.

So that’s my story! I’M ON MAINTENANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stay tuned for the plank update and some more commentary that made me laugh.

That was what the husband said yesterday during our quick trip to Trader Joe’s to get a few things for this week so that we don’t starve.

When I started WW back in April I had convinced him to unofficially start with me. He choose to do Core since it looked easy to him, he has no time to count points and likes to eat so Core was the best choice for him. Especially because it made him finally understand that there is a difference between starving and stuffed. Until Core he only knew those 2. Of course being a guy he lost weigh FAST and it wasn’t too hard for him. I made sure that he didn’t feel deprived and mentally kept tally of his FPs when we drank wine and ate ice cream etc. Since I am counting points I made sure that at least 98% of what is in the house is WW friendly so no matter what we should both do good, at home at least. For months he did great and lost 16 pounds and kept it off (wanted to lose 25 total). He even did well when we went to HI and only gained 3 lbs and recognized that right away and got back OP. Then during our last trip to PA he fell off the wagon hard (that was August) and gained 3-5 back and stopped losing. He also started cheating at lunch a bit. After seeing that his weight was staying between 210 and 212 I mentioned that at least he was maintaining. He agreed and then decided that he was going on maintenance. I let him be and said fine but that I was still loosing and until I met goal we were still eating the way we had at home. Fine. He had lost over 15 lbs and looks good and his clothes feel better and he was happy. I still wanted him to get back to 200 but I told myself I would leave him alone after he made a comment that I was always being mean to him when it came to food (he’s a snacker and emotional eater and part of the clean plate club, and I’m a bit of a food nazi). So last night at TJ’s we’re looking around for some stuff to hold us over for a few days and I mentioned getting some of the already prepared frozen pasta in a bag, in case we need a quick dinner one night. He wanted the gnocchi with gorgonzola, which is one of my favorites. This is how it went down;

him: Ooh, let’s get the gnocchi

me: ok

him: it’s bad for us isn’t it?

me: kinda, let me see how much it is and we’ll see if it can be a treat meal

he grabs the bag and shows me the NI (my hands were both full)

2/3 C serving = 400 calories, 1g fiber

him: It only has 1 gram of fiber, that’s not good. Let’s not get it. My pants are starting to feel tight and I don’t lilke it.

me: Ok, good job for noticing that! I would alsolike to mention that I have totally left you alone when it comes to food and waited to see if you would see that you have totally fallen off the wagon and I have not gotten on you for eating crap.

him: Yes, I know, but now I’m starting to feel fat and I don’t like it.

me: Because you said I was being mean and I didn’t want food to be an issue for us

him: I appreciate you leaving me alone and I totally fell off the wagon and I want to get back on starting today. I don’t like my pants feeling tight anymore. No more junk food!

me: Ok so does that mean I can start helping you again

him: Yes please

The good thing is that HE recognized all by himself that he had fallen off the wagon and that his clothes were feeling tighter and HE wants to do something about it. I love that! It means that these past 6 months have really taught him to eat healthier and pay attention to his eating habits and how they affect him. I’ve also acknowledged that helping does not mean dictating and that I can’t control how or what he eats I just have to be supportive and keep us both on track when I can. Another thing I should mention is that I have never showed him how to count points, he knows what they are but never cared to learn how to calculate them since he prefers Core, he just sees me do it all the time. Well somehow he’s learned that fiber is important which is what was so great last night. HE is the one who saw that the gnocchi only had 1 gram of fiber and said that it wasn’t a good thing. He has no idea what NSVs are but I think he gets a few for last night. I’m so proud of him. I need to tell him again too.

So he grabbed a bunch of salads for lunch this week and we plan to not order in till at least Friday ;).

This morning he even packed his food which he NEVER does. He packed one of the TJ’s salads, an apple and a 100 calorie pack because he still needs his treats so that he doesn’t feel like he’s on a diet. AND he had a WW milkshake this morning without me even mentioning it. Now that I type it all out it makes me even happier and prouder of him. I definitely need to tell him tonight!

Oh and the scale told him 208 this morning after his shower. Now some of you have mentioned this strange phenomena of weighing less after a shower so I told him to weigh again FIRST thing tomorrow morning after a pee and before coffee. Especially because if 208 is right then that is his lowest yet and it makes no sense that his pants would feel tight.

He also said that I make things up about food and weight but I’ll leave that for another day

Time for WI!

Yup, I did 5 planks last night, FIVE! During commercials and it was actually much easier. The husband used to be in advertising so he knows instinctively which are 30 second spots and which are 15. After doing a plank for 1 commercial I swear that it was easier and shorter than me counting. Probably because the mississippi’s and overall pain was causing me to forget how to count. LOL. So I did 3 planks with about 1-2 commercial rests in between then the show came back on and then I did 2 more during the next commercial break. I could have maybe done more but I didn’t want to push it. Wonder how long I can keep this up? I didn’t do any other exercise last night because I had too many shows to watch (I’m a TV junkie) and I just didn’t feel like watching them in “exercise room.” Plus I was still sore and wanted to give myself a day break, so 5 planks was it. Tonight for sure though, just not sure what. Possible dance class if I make it home in time.

Food was okay. Not great but that’s what happens when you don’t plan. I forgot to pack a lunch and thought that the frozen meal in my work fridge would be okay. Moldy mac & cheese anyone? Yup that is what I found. Apparently my mini fridge’s freezer isn’t so great and didn’t keep the meal completely frozen and it had started to mold. Have you ever seen frozen mac & cheese turned green. Not pretty. So I ate my snack in stead because the cafe food wasn’t appealing either. We REALLY NEED to go grocery shopping!

Here is yesterday’s food. I’m always amazed an how points and calories don’t necessarily go hand in hand.

Last week’s goal update…

And now for this week’s goals…

This has nothing to do with weight but I have to get it out…

So I never made it to my old boss’s get together this weekend. I really wanted to go but then felt slightly intimidated because of some of the other people that he had invited. I knew everyone but it is always strange for me to socialize with all the big wigs of the company.

I did however send a note and mention that I wanted to try and have lunch of stop by for a minute to say bye before they leave CA. Well I just found out that they leave this Saturday! And then it hit me. Not only the tears and sadness but that I am afraid to say good-bye. Because that means that it is real, he will never be my boss again and I may never see him again and I may never have the opportunity to work for someone so wonderful and kind and genuine.

These are real tears, no PMS to blame them on. I need to call and say good-bye since I have no idea when he will get my email (he was never much of an email person even at work) but I’m afraid that I will cry. I hate this. I had always dreaded the day that he would retire but I never expected it be so soon or that it would affect me the way it has. And I hate that I couldn’t just suck it up and endure 1 hour of uncomfortableness so that I could see him and his wife before they left.

The husband is at lunch so I can’t even talk to him about this. Don’t you wish you could turn back time just for a day or two?

It started on my way to work. My bi-ceps started to feel sore. Now I didn’t do any arms this weekend, unless you count 10 curls while on the elliptical. I am however wondering if those planks of death are also working my arms and other parts. I am after all supporting at least some of my weight on my arms while I attempt to count to 30 mississippi’s right?.

Just now I got up to get breakfast and I noticed my obliques are starting to come to life and realize that there really are still muscles in there. My quads are a but sore too. Hmmm, I realize that this is all a good thing but I am getting slightly afraid of what I will feel like by 3pm today. Did I over due it this weekend? Hope not because I wanna do some more tonight. Probably just the elliptical though. I did notice that I looked slimmer today. Call me nuts but I think the muscles are all constricted out of fear and that is working to my advantage!

Time to get some work done but I’ll be back with a recap of my week and my new goals. In the mean time I challenge everyone who has been reading to try and do 3 planks today! It will be worth it! And if not, then blame Katie because it really is her fault for making them look so easy!

Not sure how long this will last but I’m hoping it doesn’t go away. I worked out again today! That is 4 times this week! After last night’s plank embarrassment I decided that I REALLY needed to start doing the pilates DVDs again because I did have good core strength at one time even if it did have a little bit of insulation (I’ve never had 6 pak abs).  I did the Intermediate Mat Workout with Ana Caban and was again reminded of just how soft my middle has gotten but that’s okay because I WILL change that! So 30 minutes at low intensity got me 1 AP for a total of 10 this week! and 7 are from real exercise not just the daily stair torture!

I also go at least 3 FRESH F&V in EVERY DAY this week, that is seriously a first! I even feel different. My legs feel stronger, I feel stronger. Has it really taken me 6 months to get the healthy high? Well, even if it has I hope this lasts!

Oh and another reason I kick ass…I did FOUR planks of death tonight. F O U R

me: I think I’m going to try to do planks again tonight, but just the regular ones, not those crazy ones. I need to work up to those

him: good for you my swizzle, I’m proud of you for trying again

me: I wish I had a second counter

him: you mean like a stop watch?

me: yea, because I want to try to hold them for 30 seconds this time

him: just count Mississippi’s

me: yea but I count those fast see, 1 missippi, 2 missippi

him: no you have to really say the whole word; M I S S I S S I P P I

me: ok, I’ll give it a try

me: getting into position. rethinking if I REALLY want to do this again and then I do it and I start counting Mississippi’s. Only guess what? I forget how to count. Yup, my brain said NO MORE!

brain: if you are going to continue this insanity then I am not going to tell you what comes after 12 or 22 or 18 at least not without making you really think about it and holding this torture position for a few seconds longer!

First plank DONE!  I think I may have counted a few numbers out of order or twice but I did get to 30

me: PHEW!

him: you okay down there?

me: yea but I forgot how to count

him: LOL (he really is laughing out loud not just saying LOL)

me: deep breath and time for #2

The above dialogue goes on for #2 and #3 then…

me: I think I may die

him: you’re doing so great

me: thanks, but it’s hard, although I really wanna try for 4 tonight and maybe add one every night and if I’m lucky I can reach 10 one day.

him: LOL. Okay be careful. I know you can do it!

And then I did #4!!!!!!!!!!! I swear it took me about 10 minutes to do 4 but I did them. Interesting observation though. I got a headache once I was done. This happened last night too but I ignored it and just drank more water but when it happened again tonight it made me wonder…Am I forgetting to breathe? Am I allergic to planks? Is this normal? They also make my lower back hurt. It feels like my form is right and I’m squeezing my butt cheeks together to protect my lower back. I guess I’ll just have to keep doing them to see what happens.

If it wasn’t that I know it would be cheating I would count those 4 planks as 1 AP because I did start to break a sweat in the first minute which would count as high intensity.

him: how you feeling over there?

me: I’m scared

him: how come?

me: because they are hard and I’m afraid that I won’t be able to stand up straight tomorrow. Maybe when you start surfing again you can do them with me

him: ok

Oh, before I forget another NSV today… We were at my parent’s for dinner and I was in the kitchen with my little sister. At one point she was walking behind me and said, “you’ve lost more weight, your hips are getting smaller.”

WOOHOO! I see her about once a week so for her to see a difference felt great!.

All in all I feel really good about this past week and am really hoping for a loss on Tuesday but if I don’t see one then I know it’s only because I decided to work out 4 days for the first time since starting WW. I did however see 135.2 on the scale this morning. That is the lowest of the 135s I’ve seen to date. Usually it’s 135.6 or 135.8 but 135.2 is so close to the 134s! But I won’t hold my breath, instead I’m really going to try to continue to exercising at least 3x a week, eating Fruits & Veggies every day and shrinking like a shrinky dink!

After reading some of Katie at Sister Skinny’s  plank posts I decided that I should give them a shot since she made them look so easy and I know that they work the abs big time.

She doesn’t have official names for these hellish exercises that she has been so kind to demonstrate for us so I am going to name them myself to avoid confusion.

First I tried the slidy plank. Doesn’t she make them look super easy? WRONG! I think I did 2 full ones before my body said WTF! and my legs stopped moving more than a foot in either direction.

Then after poking around and reading more of Katie’s posts I found the up down elbow plank. Again she makes them look so effortless. The woman is insane! First I tried these from the elbow starting position only guess what? I couldn’t move. I tried to straighten my arms, well arm, and almost fell over. Again my body said WTF are you doing to me! So then I tried to start from the straight arm position and I was able to hold that for a few seconds then lower to my elbows and then I got stuck again. I coudn’t get back to straight arm. HOW is she doing it?!?!?!

Then I realized that clearly she has a very strong core even though I don’t think she realizes it so I decided that I should start at the beginning and try building up. I decided I would do what she calls “Lazy Girl Abs” and then work up from there. After all a plank looks easy right. You just have to hold it for a few seconds right? Guess what? I did 3. THREE! And then I was done. 3 planks holding for 15 seconds each and I wanted to die. Planks really do = death.

I tried these in the living room with the husband around and the dialogue went like this…

me: I’m going to try some planks

him: Some what?

me: planks, they really work your abs

him: ok

me: SHIT! I’m stuck, these are harder than I thought. This chick posted them on her blog and made them look so easy. Let me try it this way.

me: Ok, I can do this. Dammit I’m stuck again!

him: what’s going on?

me: see you’re supposed to hold it like this, but then that girl did them by going up and down on her elbows but I can’t do it.

him: they look pretty hard, I don’t think I could do it.

me: let me just try some regular ones (1, break, 2, break, 3…) Ok, that was hard, lemme try these other ones (the slidy ones)

him: what are you supposed to be doing?

me: watch. you start like this and then slide and then go back up. Well, my feet aren’t working but she makes it look easy.

me: OK I’m done!

him: already

me: yup, I did 3, they’re hard, maybe tomorrow I will do 4

him: LOL, at least you tried

I craved veggies! Yup you read correctly. If you read my previous post you know that I was stuck at home all day with out a car (and no, I don’t take public transit so I was STUCK AT HOME) . Well we are LOW on food to say the least. It’s just pathetic really, I don’t think we’ve ever let it get this bad. Granted there are some canned green beans and corn and frozen mango and strawberries but no fresh F&V. Nada.. After the mickyd’s debacle of the morning I was NOT hungry the rest of the day and according to SP I had hit 1000 calories before noon thirty. The husband got home late so there wasn’t really any time to go to the store so we had left over Indian pizza from last night. Well even though the pizza had lots of veggies I still needed something. I NEEDED some F&V but frozen fruit didn’t sound appealing. We had just enough lettuce for salad and the husband didn’t want any so I ate it. It definitely made me feel better but I wish we had more. I think I can officially say that this is the first time in YEARS that I have actually craved and sought out F&V. Could it be that my body has finally crossed over? This is the first week in a LONG time where I have had a minimum of 3 F&V EVERY day!

I wish it wasn’t but it is. We’re young and have no children and we can still afford it, so why not enjoy every bit of “free” time we have while we can? By no meas do we have a money tree out back but other than the basic living expenses we don’t have any bills really and I think that is why we eat out or order in so much.
Last night we went to a private event that had free drinks and passed appetizers. That meant 3 glasses of Chianti and no real dinner so when we left at 10. What sounds good at 10pm after some wine? PIZZA! So as we were driving home we passed by our favorite Indian Pizza place and decided THAT was dinner. Of course since wine always seems to skew things just a tad when it comes to food we also decided that we needed an appetizer so we also ordered some veggie pakora. Yea, so what started out as an OP day ended as a typical Friday of eating out. I still haven’t calculated it all but I know that I need to work my little ass off on the elliptical today.

The good thing is that I drank 2 glasses of water at dinner and other 2 when we got home in hopes that it would help flush some of the sodium from the pizza and pakora. I think it worked because the scale was actually down .2 from yesterday’s WI.

Today…started out all screwy. We both had dentist appts. this morning and I thought that they were at the same time. Considering I had booked them in July I had totally forgotten and they were really one after another which was no longer going to work because we still only have ONE car and the husband had to be up north to work on one of the other cars by a certain time. So I switched my appt. since I had the later one and we were out of there before 11am. By this point all either of us had eaten was coffee and we were hungry so we went to McDonald’s. WHY you ask? Because it was close and quick and we were on a schedule. They were no longer serving breakfast so I ordered the Chicken Selects 3pc. They gave me the 5 pc instead but I can only eat 3 so I have 2 sitting it a box wondering what their fate will be. I did however eat all the fries and I think they were a medium and I usually only eat a small. Can we say SODIUM OVERLOAD? I still haven’t calculated the calories/points and am afraid but it’s pretty much breakfast and lunch so as long as we don’t eat out again and have a healthy dinner I should be fine. I also need to get off my ass and go sweat some.

I’m solo for the rest of the day which means that as soon as I post this I will start cleaning or exercising or vice versa. I promised the husband, but more importantly myself, that I would not just sit on the couch on the computer but that I would clean and exercise. Both are NEEDED and will make me feel better later on.

Now for some NSVs…

We ran into an acquaintance at the event last night, someone who I had just met about 2 weeks ago (he and his wife are business acquaintances of the husband). And as we said hi he said, “Good to see you again, you look beautiful tonight.” He’s married so it wasn’t flirting and I’ve had other male acquaintances/friends say this to me before but it always makes me feel really good and it made me stand a little taller and more confident.

Second NSV happened today. We were coming back from the dentist and I was walking up to the house and mentioned that my pants were too big because they were falling down (I was wearing my bum around jeans which are an and the husband said, “But they weren’t always loose. It’s because you’re losing all your weight.” It makes me feel so good that he is constantly noticing and verbalizing it as well as being so supportive.

**Update;
I just did 30 minutes on my elliptical at high intensity and earned 3 APs! That means that I met my goal of exercise 3x this week! YAY!!!

I’m totally behind at reading and commenting and now have over 90 posts in my google reader to try and catch up on. So if you suddenly see a bunch of comments from me at once you know why. Am I the only one who tries to read a gazillion blog posts and comment on as many as possible? I actually start to feel bad when I don’t comment, as though you are all waiting for me or something. Does that make me totally big headed? Hmmm, hope not.

Week number 4 of the Christmas Challenge. I’m convinced that my body likes to weigh the same thing every Friday because so far it has, so in stead of posting a maintain this week I am going with my lowest WI of the week but only because it stayed for 2 days in a row so that means 135.8 which is a .8 loss from last week. This is the first week that 135 has decided to stay for 2 days so maybe that is a sign that things are moving down. I’ve managed to work out 2 times so far so one more and I’ve met my goal for 3 times in one week and I think tomorrow may be that day since it looks like I may be without a car again and working out is much more appealing than cleaning. Although I know that I won’t work out all day but if I can get in the elliptical AND a DVD then I may be energized enough to clean at least the bathroom.

On a positive note, my new jeans are getting lose :). Hopefully if everything works out I will start dance class next week which I know will help my metabolism a lot, no to mention my mind and body. Plus it is an awesome arm workout that I have never gotten with weights since dancing for me is fun and not a chore like exercising or the gym. I had great arms when I used to dance so I am really looking forward to getting them back.

That’s it for now. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

My loss was .6 not .4. Not a huge difference but I still needed to clear that up :).
KC (I can’t see your blog) asked where I do the stairs. I work on the 11th floor of a 16 floor building (16 floors with offices). There are 2 stair wells and one goes up to who knows what floor (we stop at 17 because it starts to look sketchy past that). A group of us decided that we needed a break from sitting all day but are too lazy to actually make use of our free gym membership so we started doing stairs. We start at floor 11, go up to 15 then down to 1 then back up to 11, then later in the day we start at 11, go up to 17, back down to 1 and back up to 11. There are 22 stairs between each flight except the last floor has an additional 15. Twice a day really kicks your butt especially when it starts to get easy and you naturally start moving faster and faster without realizing it. It makes for a quick break and approximately 30 minutes of exercise a day. I also do this in what ever shoes I am wearing that day and I typically wear anywhere from a 2″-4.5″ heel. Call me crazy but it’s really no big deal for me. I’ve been doing this since May although at that time we were only doing 11 flights twice a day until we timed it and realized that we wanted each set to be 15 minutes so we had to add some flights. 17 twice a day would be ideal but when we tried that it was just too much and we started “forgetting” so 15 and 17 works for now.

Pictures… I’ve become obsessed and found face shots going back to 1994. I put them all together so that I could see the difference and when m face started to get more round. Funny thing is that after a while I start to see the same face, no difference which means I’ve been looking at the pictures for too long trying to resize and arrange them. I’ve mentioned my OCD tendencies before right?

**Update since I just realized that you can’t read the tiny font on the pics. From top left to right… 1994, June 1999, Dec. 2002, Dec. 2003, Dec. 2004, Oct. 2005, Dec. 2005, Feb. 2006, Dec. 2006, April 2007 approximately 2 weeks before joining WW and lastly Sept. 2007, 3 days before I found out I hit my 10%.

So that’s me going back 13 years. Not that any of you needed to see that many pictures of my face but I needed to see the changes and maintains. I hate that I can see that I have aged but at least I don’t look OLD which is my other fear. I can clearly see that the weight started at the end of 2004 which makes sense. I also see that I don’t look too bad with a tan even though I avoid the sun at all cost. Can’t really do that in HI though and after 3 months I think I am finally back to my original pasty olive completion.

I realize that I haven’t posted a menu in a few days. I am however logging ALL my food into SparkPeople and my handy dandy spreadsheet so I at least know that I am doing very well with calories.

Here is my over all log for this week starting from Tues. since I start that log on the same day as WI. I have eaten at least 3 F&V a day (Sonya how are you doing???)

And for the goal update…

I think…

Sometimes you just gotta get things out, ya know. I also realized that I need to stop saying that I’m fat and start telling myself that I’m skinny and that I look damn good and my husband tells me so all the time and I need to listen. He always tells me how beautiful I am on a daily basis but it wasn’t until this past month or so that he’s been referring to me as skinny on numerous occasions. I need to let it sink in! Starting today I’m going to stop looking in the mirror and seeing the flub and start seeing what I’ve lost and my waist and bones reappear.

My positive for today is that I like wearing clothes in a size that I like to see and knowing that they fit nicely. Not tight. And that my thighs look good because of all the crazy stairs that I do :). And I can see my collar bones today which automatically make me stand up taller because I want to show them off. So maybe the insanity isn’t over but at least the pity party is!

Yesterday was tough food wise because I never eat breakfast on WI days. Bad I know, but 1 day a week isn’t gonna kill me and I only do it if I don’t have any bananas to eat. So yesterday’s food didn’t start till noon so I had a but of a struggle to eat my minimum calories but I did it! I even did my elliptical machine again. Not for as long as I had planned but about half way though the husband called and his car had stalled on him so I had to change and go get him so that he could get to an auto store to get a part and fix it. I did however get 13 minutes in and I worked it during that time! Unfortunately his car repair took about an hour so when we got back home it was time to make dinner and then I didn’t want to work out anymore, but I did it 2 days in a row AT HOME. Tonight will be my off night since I have a nail appt. and I like our Wednesday night shows (Kitchen Nightmares and CSI).

This morning’s WI was very nice, 135.8! Maybe 135 does love me after all? Or it just likes to torture me by making an appearance once a week for one day. Who knows, but it made me happy :).

I’ve been playing around with some before and during pics but am not sure if I will actually post them.

Here is my food for yesterday. 1 glass shy of 12 glasses of water but I got all 5 F&V in!

And for a goal update…

Effing finally! I was hoping for more but I’ll take the damn -.4 loss and keep going. Good thing otherwise someone may have gotten hurt. So I am officially 136.8 which is WAY better than what my scale told me this morning. I really am obsessed with these numbers.

I guess I’ve always had a demented view of weight although I was never necessarily the “fat girl.” The only other time I was on WW was when I was 16 or 17 and had hit my all time high of 158 which was a size 12 for me. I was a senior in high school and prior to the year that caused me to gain I had always been a size 5 or 7 in juniors and had a 26″ waist. (I got my first job at 15 and decided that a pint of Hagen Daz ice cream was a good lunch at least 2-3 times a week, that will make any thin person fat!)
I still remember my measurements were 36-26-36 and I thought that was fat because I wanted that 24″ waist. I still remember standing on the scale in my parent’s room flipping out that it said like 118 or 121 or something because it was not 115 which was ideal in my head. Having a mom who was always watching her weight probably didn’t help, and really, mom was never heavy until after she had 2 more children and was over 35 and had stopped caring (there is a big age gap between my siblings and me). I was never made to clean my plate and pretty much got to eat whatever I wanted except maybe Koolaid, in addition to the usual healthy stuff. I was a chubby kid but not fat or obese by any means, I was just solid and once puberty hit I was thin. There were things however that were never in the house like chocolate or mayonnaise and to this day I still prefer mustard on my sandwich and RARELY eat mayo and I can take or leave chocolate 98% of the time. I think that by seeing my mom always watch her weight I figured that was what you did when you became a “grown-up,” unless I wanted to be fat like grandma.
That 1 year of being the fat girl scarred me forever. Although I was never made fun of and no one ever called me fat (I have always been proportionate and carried my weight very well) and I actually met my first boyfriend at that weight, it still messed with my head to no longer be a size 5 and share clothes with my best friend who was a 5. After I dropped a TON of weight and got down to a size 4 I was happy, with my size at least, and from then on I was a size 4 or 6 depending upon where the clothes were from. No longer a 5 because I had sprouted hips but still thin. At one point I got on a scale and I was 127 and it was perfect and luckily I stayed there give or take 2-3 pounds for over 10 years. Even after I hit 30 (SHHHHHH I will never repeat that so you better not either, I HATE admitting my age. I refuse to fall into the mindset that your metabolism slows when you hit 30 and everything falls apart. I know that it isn’t true because i know MANY women who are 40 and look amazing, I think that it happens because people get into that mindset and use it as an excuse. Sure you metabolism may slow but it doesn’t’ stop nor does it mean you can give up).
I had surgery that caused me to no longer be able to exercise for roughly 1 year, NOTHING except PT which hurt and I hated, before that I was a dancer who danced and rehearsed and performed anywhere from 3-15 hours a week.
During my hospital stay I learned that you lose 10 pounds of muscle for every day that you are bedridden. Well in the course of 3 months, I was in the hospital for about 11 days (7 & 4) and could barely walk. Once I was able to start trying to walk again it took so much out of me that I got super thin just from the exertion and the skin and flab on my legs hurt from no muscle left, yet I still was not allowed to exercise at all. By the time I was able to walk almost normally again and start exercising I broke some toes and was out of commission for another 2 months then I fell and screwed up my knee which left me SOL for another month or so. At this point it was just about 1 year of slothlife. Walking just to get around was the only thing I could do without hurting myself again. Well guess what happens when you are a dancer who can’t dance anymore but sill eats the same? Yup, you gain 20 pounds, and in my case remained in denial for 2+ years. I was convinced that it would go away and it did for my wedding but then it came back. I got married LAST year and it wasn’t until April of this year that I decided to do something about it. Talk about being in a fat funk! Sad thing is that even though I knew I had gained weight and had to move into a size 8 I didn’t realize just HOW big I had gotten until I saw a picture from the husband’s holiday party. I carry my weight well on my body but my face gets pretty round.
Sorry for the rant but sometimes I just have to get it out and it is my blog after all :). If you read through all of that then y’all like me more than I thought ;).

Now to end this on a positive note…

I am bitter about my surgery but it was successful and did save my life and I am grateful for that. Things could have been worse. It was unforeseen and unexpected consequences that caused the “possible side effects/consequences” which cause a 6 week recovery to turn into 9+ month recovery. My stubbornness helped me to heal quickly and prove the doctors wrong.

I am healthy and more compassionate now than I was before and I met and helped a lot of people during and after my journey.

I gained weight and it sucks but I am now losing and have met some truly wonderful people (bloggers) during this process which I know has contributed to my loss. I still get frustrated but who doesn’t and you know what, I’m still not giving up and my stubbornness will keep me going.

I’ve also learned that all different people struggle with weight, fat does not discriminate (no rhyme intended). Men, women, old, young, teens, new moms, grandmas, “always the fat girl/guy”, and the random gainer etc.. It’s a part of life that affects some and not others but as long as we are aware and try to lose and get and stay healthy for ourselves and our families and help others who want and need it, then we all win!

Now I feel like Dazey may have taken over my blog here because I suddenly have this urge to hold hands and sing kumbaya and I am SO NO a kumbaya type person

Yesterday was not a good day for F&V. My supply is low and all I had was an apple. I knew this wasn’t great but you can only do so much when you don’t have anything else right? The rest of the day was good even though I did eat a piece of baklava. I had 16 glasses of water and only 3 FPs. I did both sets of stairs which is 32 flights of stairs, 1464 stairs not including the steps on each landing. I even did 45 minutes of exercise last night. Granted it was low intensity because I didn’t break a sweat but it was HARD because it was a dancers workout DVD. So I earned 3 APs yesterday and ate them. HOW in the hell does that equal a 1.6 gain overnight? The ONLY thing I can think of is (TMI warning) that I haven’t dropped the kids off at the pool but come on. If this was any other day I would not care but today is official WW WI day and I want to see a loss dammit! I want LIFETIME status!!!!!!!!!

Part of me wants to talk to my leader today and see if I can change my WW goal from 130 to 135 simply so that I can start maintenance and get Lifetime. Of course I will still lose so it’s really just me cheating the system but I am so frustrated and stubborn that I don’t even know what to do.

Candace asked if my goal was a size 6 or 130 pounds. The answer is both. In my twisted little head a size 6 equals 127 pounds. I am now a size 6 but not 127. I look good but I want to look better, I want to see 127 on the scale dammit and I know it is possible because I was that weight for YEARS and at this point if it means a size 4 or a lose 6 then fine I WANT THAT! My 6s look good, but i want them to look better. Plus 127 gives me more wiggle room.

I guess for me this journey has not only been to lose weight but to feel like ME again, and ME weighs 127 pounds and can wear a size 4 or 6 bottoms and not an 8 because an 8 is just too damn big and falls off me (except for dresses because my boobage never goes away and I’m happy about that) right now I can still wear my 8s and although they are loose they don’t fall off. I am like an exact 6 with NO wiggle room. 1 big mean and I become a sausage 6.

Call me obsessed but when you were the same size and weight for over 15 years straight and a stupid surgery (not stupid because it saved my life but right now I’m mad so I’m calling it stupid) causes you to gain weight it messes with not only your head but your physical image of yourself. Especially since we are thinking and talking about a child. I want to be ME again so that I know that it is possible for me to gain and lose the weight with a little determination. Does that make sense. I guess I just need to feel beautiful again before my body gets all big and out of control. I need to know that I gained once before and lost it so that I can do it again.

Sorry for the rant.

Here’s yesterday’s food and a goal update. 1 hour till WI and food. I hope it goes well. I don’t want to have to hurt the weigherinner lady.