Yesterday, a person or persons broke into my house and stole several pieces of video equipment.  He, she or they rifled through closets, dressers and busted TV sets.

The most shocking part to me, is how I dealt with it afterwards.  You guessed it - I ate.  And ate.  And ate.  It was not subconscious.  I knew that I had to have a Big Green burrito to deal with the loss, as small as it really was.  My yield to the dark side was complete by the end of the night - I had a large Coke with the burrito and then followed that with a Chocolate Frosty chaser. 

Shame on me.

I know better.

What an infantile response to a problem that hundreds-of-thousands deal with nearly everyday - and probably with more maturity.  So I have set low expectations for this weigh in coming Saturday.  If I lose any weight it will be a miracle.  If I gain - it is expected.  No pain, no pain. 

If there is any consolation - it is that equipment stolen from me was crappin’ out anyhow.  Good riddance I guess. 

Obviously I have a long way to go.  Though I have eaten healthier in the past month than I have pretty much anytime in my life prior - the lifestyle change is far from being complete. 

Luckily - there are no pop tarts or hot pockets in the house.  My self-destructive behavior could have been worse.   (Mmmmm…..pop tarts.)

It’s been a hectic couple of weeks for me - work-wise.  By the time I get home, I’m so thoroughly exhausted that I cannot will myself to turn on the pc, take keyboard in hand, and write a few lines about my progress.  Everything should be smoothing out now, and so I can a much better run at consistent blogging. 

It’s been awhile.  At the beginning of my third week I lost another 4.6 pounds.  At my weigh-in yesterday I was missing another 5.8 pounds.  And so, my total weight loss to date - after three full weeks of Weight Watchin’ is 22 pounds.  I am 12 pounds away from the 10% mark.  Though I haven’t really decided on my goal weight yet, I suspect I will shoot for 185 pounds.  (Only 133 pounds left!)

My exercise has suffered.  I have not made to gym for a week now.  Though the last workout was 1.5 hours - not enough to carry me through the week.  I just learned of a secret work-out center in the place where I work and since I have a two-hour lunch break—well problem solved!  Of course, the possibility of one of my co-workers witnessing one or more of body limbs flapping against the wind is not really that desirable.  It’s just going to have to be one of the risks on my path to least tubby-ness.  I just hope they’ll be able recover from the shock of the sight.    

But I’m still doing fairly well as hitting my points and requirements.  And that’s a good thing.  At the beginning of my fourth week, and I still have trouble making room for oil.  I previously posted about my canola-milk shots .  More often than not, it’s “down the hatch.”  One day, I’ll actually have to cook with oil instead of ingesting it with dairy products.  Oh - I got a big bottle of vitamins.   Mmm…mmm.   

Many people have warned me that making healthy choices can be expensive.  I used to believe it.  But now, I’m not so sure.  When you eat portion sized meals food amazing seems to last longer. 

I had heard the term “leftover” when I was a young kid back in 1987.  I thought it may have been some sort of Jewish holiday.  So I was very stunned today when I opened my refrigerator and found a sealed carton of something I had not polished off the day before.  What amazing technology!!  I mean - here was a meal literally “left over” from the previous day. 

It was an epiphany.  I celebrated.  I danced.  I cried.  I laughed with joy.  I ate it. 

It’s good to know that I do have some will power inside.

Though the change from the lost 22 pounds isn’t physically noticeable - it is still victory.  My clothes do fit better.  I get in and out of my car easier.  I have more energy.  I walk faster.  I have more confidence.  I do leave left overs.  I pass by the hot pocket display without dying a little inside.  And now it’s “Mountain Who?” not “Mountain Dew.”  (Boy - was the stupidest sentence ever written in a blog!) 

I’ve got a long ways to go.  But I’m feeling pretty confident.  Much more so than the day I discovered I weighed 340 lbs.  That was a pretty low point. 

Maybe I’m getting a little too jazzed.  But I sincerely hope that people that have committed to similar “lifestyle” changes I have are going through the same highs that I’m experiencing.

Humans are funny animals…I should know…I rank right up there on the weird scale.

It struck me as odd that someone would smoke a cigarette outside a fitness center just before a workout.  I witnessed just that scene this morning as I ambled in the early morning hours to get a few laps around the track before work.

It was distracting to have chords of my Josh Ritter mp3 interrupted by rough sounding coughs.

I quit smoking cold turkey almost three years.  I am quite familiar with the morning, afternoon and evening hack.  Towards the end of my habit my hacking worsened so much that it was prompting neighborhood dogs to bark.  I had only smoked for a couple of years, but in that relatively short time it caused a significant deterioration in my health.  I know some people have an easier time with it than I did.

Nonetheless, I can’t imagine embarking on any fitness regimen with a pack of Joe Camels in the gym bag.  I’m sure there is pretty good reason why the fine folks at Precor do not install ashtrays next to the cup holders on their elliptical cross-trainers.

I’m feeling as strong as I have in quite some time.  This evening when I went back to use the elliptical, I realized I went without my “rescue” inhaler at about six minutes into the workout.  (Yes, I was an asthmatic when I was a smoker - let’s just say I’m not exactly PhD material.)  Any other time I’ve started a workout, or went upstairs, or even thought about walking I  used the inhaler to carry me through.  I thought for a moment that I should abort my workout and return safely to my upright position.  But a good song cue’d up on the mp3 player and I went forth…cautiously.

I did fine.  By the time I finished my 35 minutes I was not any more winded than usual.  Then I walked at a very fast pace for another 45 minutes.  It was good exercise and it didn’t kill me.

Just in one week alone my health improved so much that I did not have to use my inhaler.  I’m far from losing my 10%.  But I’m burning (fat) to get there if I’m already seeing such wonderful, wonderful, and yet again wonderful results.

Light ‘em if you got ‘em.

We are told - repeatedly - that our bodies are our temples.  For nearly 20 years, I’ve treated mine like a 7-11.  I have no idea how many unidentifiable meat product jerky sticks or super-super-super-super-super-super-sized pops I’ve consumed in my lifetime - 24 hours a day.  Someone could probably earn a doctorate degree if he or she could calculate exactly how many hotpockets and pop tarts I’ve eaten. 

On Sunday - I turned certain failure to limited success.

I had a simple plan.  Go buy a sandwich for my wife and something for myself to eat.  The plan became complicated when I rationalized that the nearly 12 pounds I lost last week allowed me to stuff myself silly on that day - Super Bowl Sunday.   And so I was fully prepared to go to the deli and ask for not one, not two, but three pieces of fried chicken.  Not chicken baked with corn flakes - real real fried chicken. 

Something got to me.  My annoying conscious reminded me that this probably would complete negate any success I had last week.  And like for many I’m sure - this little snowball would become a big avalanche that’d have me eating fried chicken every week (with Mountain dew.)   

Or perhaps it was fear that motivated me reconsider the chicken plan.  I could just as easly seen members from some sort of quasi-military group (”The Weight Patrol”) come crashing through the walls, point their tazers at me and say, “SIR, FOR GOD’S SAKE - PUT DOWN THE DEEP FAT FRIED THIGH AND POTATO WEDGES AND BACK AWAY FROM THE COUNTER.”  For which I probably would have said, “DON’T TAZE ME, BRO” and then things would have gotten really out of hand. 

But - the good news is, I chickened out of buying chicken. 

I had to think quick.  “Hmm…simple, tasty, comforty…..I know….HOT DOG!”

I found the 98% fat-free turkey links.  Found the reduced calorie wheat hot dog bun.  Grabbed a bag of fat-free chips.  I even found some reduced sugar catsup from the folks at Heinz.

I got home.  Put the hot dog together.  Added my healthier catsup.  And you know what?  It was absolutely the worst hot dog I ever had.  As you can imagine - at 340 lbs - I’ve had my fair share of hot dogs throughout my life.  But other than the healthy factor, there was nothing redeeming about this hot dog. 

But - more importantly - I stayed on the path of righteousness.  I nearly strayed - but keeping focused on my health (and irrational fear of being tazed in a grocery store) actually kept me from burning up my daily and weekly bonus point allowance in one sitting.  True - the hot dog was bad; but it was not bad for me (3 points). 

I’m sure if I had done research beforehand, I would have come up with something much more tastier.  But if anyone knows of a healthy and tasty hot dog - feel free to let me know.   

Well, it was a pretty successful weigh in - I lost 11.6 pounds in the first week.  The woman that weighed me cautioned that I shouldn’t expect this sort of loss every week.

The past couple of work days have run into the 14-15 hour duration..and so by the time I was so sick of the computer that I dared not even turn mine on - and so the blog suffered a bit.

But the diet is going on strong. The workout center closed by the time I got off work and so I haven’t had a chance to improve upon my elliptical time the past couple of day. I made it three times since Monday. Still, in the past week alone I have felt twice as well than anytime the previous year. I’m not sure if it is from chemicals released into my body by exercise…or from the exhaust fumes of cars ahead of me….I’m just feeling dang good.

Tomorrow is the first weigh in since I started. And I’m excited to see the result. I’ve noticed that my winter coat already is a little less snug around my belly. I’m thinking maybe my hide has 10 less pounds…but I’ll be pleased with any weight loss - even if it is a pound.

I have not yet been tempted by the dark side - or by dark chocolate. I’ve become a real Weight Watcher point nazi when it comes to selection. Just to share more information than you would ever possibly want to know - I will say my digestive system is having trouble adjusting. It’s not used to handling anything that isn’t a “Hot Pocket” or a “Pop Tart.” Other than that - everything is A-OKAY.

Day four and I’m feeling pretty good. Again I dutifully tracked everything I ate. I hit all requirements. I haven’t felt any cravings for food and I consider that a stunning success for me.

I did make another special guest appearance at the gym today. Though I was still too chicken to hit the ab machines, I did add an extra five minutes time to the elliptical machine and then a 35 minute brisk walk on the track. 70 minutes of aerobic exercise…which I think nearly doubles my entire exercise time for the past fiscal quarter.

Obviously this is only my fourth day and I don’t want to get too giddy with enthusiasm, but I ‘m feeling that this is the time I finally shrink back from obesity.

I made some decent progress down the road to least tubby-ness today.  I used all the available points and that’s it.  I dutifully tracked my meals as I ate - Healthy Choice panini in one hand, #2 pencil in the other.

I nearly did forget to include the two teaspoons of oil.  I had to mix that into a cup of skim milk.  This looked pretty unappetizing - especially when the canola oil coagulated on the surface of the milk.  It sort of resembled perhaps the Exxon Valdez crashing into a Meadow Gold dairy.  But seeing the two empty boxes for oil on my daily tracker prompted me to go ahead and swallow the oil/milk elixir.

I did everything according to Hoyle and you know what?  I feel pretty good about it.  Now if I can only lose 140 lbs in the next two days.  That would be swell.  Less swelling, but swell.

I did take another important step - I went to the gym.  I made my way to the elliptical machine and pounded out 30 minutes on the “WEIGHT LOSS” program.  I was a little winded, but no one had to call a “Life Flight” helicopter so it worked out okay.  Tomorrow I’m going to be a little more ambitious and do a few reps on a ab machine along with the 30 minute aerobic dance with the elliptical machine.

I hope this post wasn’t meaningless.   The one thing you can take from it I guess is; get the oil thing out of the way as fast as possible so you don’t end up doing “leche de canola” shots.

Today was a modest start on my path to the least tubby-ness. 

So let me start by filling in some of the details.  I am 32 years of age, weigh 340 lbs and stand 5′11″.  That means my Body Mass Index is 42.5 - according to a nifty calculator I found on the Dept. of Health and Human Services website.  The same website says my BMI needs to be somewhere between 25 and 30 - just to be considered overweight.  Their categories include; UNDERWEIGHT, NORMAL, OVERWEIGHT, OBESE, FATTY ARBUCKLE and SLOAN.  Obviously, I have a long way to go. 

I’ve not set a goal weight - I think I’ll save that for when I hit the 10% mark.  The WW index said that someone at my height should be between 145 and 174 lbs, which by coincidence may have been my birth weight.  Off hand, I think a goal of 185 or 190 is realistic (given a long period of time.)  Officially, I’m going to wait to determine that weight. 

Yesterday was not a spectacular start - I exceeded my daily point allowance by 12 - thanks to my lousy will power.  But today I’ve done much better.  Healthy oatmeal and fat free yogurt and a banana were breakfast.  Light Progresso soup and a Lean Cuisine for lunch and a few healthy snacks such as this round orange thing that I am told is called an “orange.”  I also through in a can of tuna (in the water of course) for some protein.  I still have 9 points left, so I’m sitting well for the day. 

And so, I have lots of hope that Day Three will turn out - now that I’m returning to work tomorrow without my usual corn dog and Mountain dew.           

My weight has reached critical mass. It’s at the point where even thinking about going up stairs leaves me a little winded. The gravitational pull from my body has been known to force small children and pets into orbit around me. My two-year old daughter said it more succinctly; “Daddy, you’re so big!”

So this morning I registered at Weight Watchers. As a means to simultaneously track my progress and bore people, I have launched this blog. There are some very nice blogs here already and I’m pretty sure there isn’t anything I can add that hasn’t already been said.

But if one person draws any help or support from my experience then I feel very sorry for that indivi..I mean.. then the whole thing will be worth it.