Thanks for all the great comments about how to fight cravings.  I wish I would have took everyones advice today.  I am having major chocolate attacks today.  I don’t know what my deal is, usually I can resist.  Maybe it’s because I am all out of 100 calorie snacks.  I am going to have to go and stock up very soon.

So I am laying here in my bed on a heating pad because my upper back is killing me asking myself why on days off I work harder then days I go to work.  I would love a day when I could just relax.  Today I cleaned my dad’s truck in exchange he prepared my yard to plant grass.  I think this is the beginning of a busy spring and summer.  We built our house two years ago and we are just barely starting our yard.  It is going to be alot of work.  Maybe it will help me burn some extra calories.  I won’t be running today I feel like I could take a nap right now I am exhausted.

Morning weigh in-176.8

Breakfast-Nutra Grain Bar-130 calories

eggs-140 calories

Snack-2 Chocolate cookies (every time I go to my parents house they have homeade goodies on their counter I just can’t resist)

Lunch-turkey wrap

Snack-chicken-180 calories

Dinner-Soup and grilled cheese-500 calories

Water-80 oz

Exercise-6 miles on bike and 300 crunches

So I have been sitting here wondering if when you have a strong craving for something do you just give in and move on.  Or do you fight that craving.  Like today I had this strong craving for a Reeces Big Cup.  I tried to fight that craving for about 2 hours.  Finally I gave in and just ate one.  Now I think I will be good for awhile, but then I beat myself up and think to myself.  Why can’t I be stronger? Why didn’t I tell myself no you can’t have one?  Or do I just count the calories into my day and move on.  I know this is what I should do because if I deprive myself of the things I love then it might cause me to fall off the wagon completely. 

So my question is how do you fight your cravings?  Do you give in and move on or do you talk yourself out of it?

Morning weigh 177.2 ( I think my body loves this number)

Breakfast-Omelet-eggs, cheese, turkey and tomatoes-200 calories

Snack-Reeces Big Cup-210 calories

Lunch-Michelinas frozen dinner-230 calories

Snack-candy-140 calories ( I am craving chocolate today)

Snack-Mcdonalds Snack Wrap-260 calories

Dinner-Fish wrapped in tortilla,lettuce, tomato, cheese

and veggies

Water-80 oz.

Exercise-6 miles on exercise bike-burned 302 calories

Today I decided it was the day to start my 5k training.  It was really fun.  The wind was blowing pretty good, so my throat got sore and I feel a little sore but all in all it feels good to be working towards something.  I needed some direction.  I also played a little soccer with my son.  It is his first game tomorrow.  He is so excited.  I am excited to.  It is so fun watching your kids do something new.  I hear little kid soccer is pretty funny to watch.  My biggest fear is that he won’t be as good as he thinks he is. He is very confident that he is going to be the best player.  Hopefully he just has fun.

I ate pretty good today, no splurges. I finally feel like I can do this again.  it is a good feeling to have. 

Morning scale reading: 177

Breakfast-2 pieces of toast with jam-200 calories

Snack-fruit and nut bar-130 calories

Lunch-soup-200 calories

Snack-bite of cake

Dinner-Stuffed cube steak and pasta roni ( okay this is probably not that healthy) But I think I had enough calories to spare

So all last month I whined and compained about how I had lost my motivation, Blah, Blah, Blah.  Well tonight I found it. I feel revived and ready to continue on my weight loss journey.  How did I get my mojo back do you ask.  I was searching through photos to post as my before picture.  I couldn’t believe how awful I looked.  I should not have gone out in public looking like that.  One pic was me and my husband in Vegas last summer, I was still breastfeeding and left my baby with my mom.  I took my breast pump with me and pumped any chance I got.  My boobs took up half the picture.  I looked so fat.  Seeing old pictures of myself reminded me why I wanted to lose weight in the first place.  I don’t want to waste my life always hiding in the background.  I want to live the best life I can and not be the sitting on the sidelines.  I am excited for my new beginning and so happy that I broke through the wall that has been stopping me from moving forward these past few months.  My goal for this month is to reach my 40 pound weight loss goal.  Only 4-5 pounds to go and to run a mile. 

(I will post my big boob picture when I get brave enough.)

I didn’t want to write a post today because I ate so crappy.  I feel like such a hypocrite saying I am going to do better and then I don’t.  I feel like I need to be accountable for my actions.  Everything I ate today was fast food.  Leftover pizza from last night for breakfast, arby’s for lunch and leftover arby’s for dinner. I feel so gross right now. I don’t know why but I just feel so Blah lately.  Yogurt doesn’t even sound good to me.  I haven’t planned a meal in about a week.  When dinner time comes I am not prepared and nothing sounds good.  So we have been pretty much eating frozen food or eating out.  I think the husband is getting mad that I haven’t cooked dinner.  I went grocery shopping and have food in the house.  Nothing sounds good to me right now.  I am going to try and plan some menus so I can at least be prepared.  But I just don’t feel like cooking.  Has anyone else been through this? How do you snap out of it?

Morning weigh in: 178.4

Breakfast-Pizza-270 calories

Lunch-Arby’s melt-340 calories

Snack-fruit & nut bar-130 calories

Dinner-Arby’s melt-340 calories

Water-70 oz.

Exercise-6 mile bike

When I started eating better and exercising last Fall the pounds just came off so easy.  I have 20 lbs left to get to my goal of 160.  For some reason I am struggling. The scale bounces up and down between 177-179.  I know I can do better, I have been cheating a little.  I know it is my fault.  I need to find my self control, where did it go?  I don’t want bad habits to creep back.  I need to refocus and get back on track.  Knowing what I need to do and actually doing it are two different things.

So I have been lurking around reading some blogs for the past hour.  I love to read how everyone is working towards their goals and their preparation to stay on track.  It is so nice to get some inspiration and ideas from this community. You are all wonderful.  Thank you everyone for your comments and for your inspirational stories.  They are what makes me want to do better and to keep going.

I would like to post some photos but I can’t get it to work.  Does any one have any advice?

Ronji has challenged everyone to pick a new activity for April.  I have decided my goal for April is to run a mile straight.  I know this is probably easy for alot of you, but I am a beginner runner.  Right now I can go about 2 blocks and I feel like I am going to throw up. I also want to do more ab work.  My stomach area is my problem area.  My weight loss goal for April is to get to 170.  Right now I am fluctuating between 176 and 178.  So I am hoping that it won’t be to hard to reach my goal. 

I kind of had a crappy weekend as far as the eating healthy goes.  The easter candy is still floating around.  I don’t know why I struggle so bad with candy being in the house.  Ususally I try to keep any temptation out of my house.  So hopefully now I can get back on track.  I really want to see a loss this week.  Hope everyone has a good and successful week.

Morning scale: 178

Breakfast: Strawberry Banana smoothie

Fruit and nut bar-130 calories

Lunch: Chili dogs (don’t ask) I didn’t even want them

Snack:Fruit & nut bar-130 calories

Dinner:Chicken Crescents with gravy, rice and 3 slices of apple.

Exercise:6 mile on exercise bike

Water:

Last night on the news they did a story on the 100 calorie snacks you can buy at the store.  I love the 100 calorie snacks even though they have no nutritional value.  They just help kill the snack attack.  Anyways they said how buying these costs 3 times as much and just buying a regular box and portioning them out yourself.  I am a big penny pincher so this was great info for me.  I don’t know why I didn’t figure it out for myself but from now on I will be buying some baggies and making my own 100 calorie snack bags.  Then maybe I can fill like I can share with the rest of the family.

Now on to the question of the week.  This is the first time I have really dieted in my life for more then 5 minutes.  One big mistake I made a few years ago was when I had a membership to Curves.  I loved to go and exercise and did it faithfully for about 10 months.  I thought that exercising gave me a free pass to eat whatever I wanted still.  That year I gained 15 pounds.  I was so mad at myself for not eating healthy.  I know now that I have to eat healthy and exercise to lose weight.  Another mistake I made and I have said this before was not weighing myself for a long period of time.  I gained so much weight it was sickening.  I guess the best thing about mistakes is what we learn from them.  Through this weight loss journey I hope I have learned from my mistakes and that I will never want to be fat again. I can’t wait to hear everyones stories.

Morning weight-178.4 (hopefully I will undo my easter damages after all)

Daily Food Log

Breakfast- Strawberry Banana smoothie

toast-100 calories

sausage link-67 calories

Snack-fruit and nut bar-130 calories

Lunch-Salad-letuce, cheese, and carrots with lite ranch dressing

Miichelina meal-290 calories

Snack-Milk chocolate eggs ( in my mind for some reason I think I need to eat them so they will be gone faster)

Dinner-Meat Loaf, baked potatoe, and corn

Exercise-6 mile bike

Water-100 oz.

I really like Roni’s post yesterday about can’t vs. haven’t.  I have been really beating myself up lately because I just can’t get back in the groove.  I just seem like I don’t care anymore.  I have been basically maintaining my weight loss.  Which I guess is better then following off the wagon completely.  I want to lose about 25 more pounds.  The desire is there but the work effort is not. 

I would like to thank everyone for your comments and support.  It is nice to know that everyone goes through this and that it is possible to move on.  I think my biggest fear along with everyone else is that the weight I have worked so hard to lose will slowly creep back.  I think my way of not letting this happen is to weigh myself everyday.  A few years ago I didn’t weigh myself for months, when I stepped on the scale I was mortified that I had let myself gain so much weight.  The reason I didn’t weigh myself was because I was depressed and eating horrible.  I knew I was gaining weight because I had to buy bigger clothes I didn’t want to face reality. I am a big time emotional eater.  I think it hit me the most when I was at work and I was talking to my husband on the phone and we were arguing.  After I hung up I grabbed a candy bar and ate it so fast.  After I just looked at the wrapper and was shocked at what I had did.  I eat when I am stressed I eat when I am bored or angry or upset.  I am getting alot better.  I try to do something else instead of eating when I have these emotions. I feel like bad habits are starting to creep back.  It needs to stop now.

I am starting over.  I am going to pull myself out of this slump starting right now.  I am going to set realistic goals for myself, ones that I know I can do instead of ones that I hope I can do.  So from now I on I am not going to say I can’t do this when I haven’t even tried.

Morning weigh in 179 again

Breakfast: Strawberry Banana Smoothie and piece of toast

Snack: fruit and nut bar

Lunch: salad-lettuce, tomato, carrots, cheese with Lite Ranch dressing

Michelina 290 calories

Dinner-Chicken Enchilada and corn

Exercise-7 miles on exercise bike

Water-70 oz.