I would like to post some photos but I can’t get it to work.  Does any one have any advice?

Ronji has challenged everyone to pick a new activity for April.  I have decided my goal for April is to run a mile straight.  I know this is probably easy for alot of you, but I am a beginner runner.  Right now I can go about 2 blocks and I feel like I am going to throw up. I also want to do more ab work.  My stomach area is my problem area.  My weight loss goal for April is to get to 170.  Right now I am fluctuating between 176 and 178.  So I am hoping that it won’t be to hard to reach my goal. 

I kind of had a crappy weekend as far as the eating healthy goes.  The easter candy is still floating around.  I don’t know why I struggle so bad with candy being in the house.  Ususally I try to keep any temptation out of my house.  So hopefully now I can get back on track.  I really want to see a loss this week.  Hope everyone has a good and successful week.

Morning scale: 178

Breakfast: Strawberry Banana smoothie

Fruit and nut bar-130 calories

Lunch: Chili dogs (don’t ask) I didn’t even want them

Snack:Fruit & nut bar-130 calories

Dinner:Chicken Crescents with gravy, rice and 3 slices of apple.

Exercise:6 mile on exercise bike

Water:

Last night on the news they did a story on the 100 calorie snacks you can buy at the store.  I love the 100 calorie snacks even though they have no nutritional value.  They just help kill the snack attack.  Anyways they said how buying these costs 3 times as much and just buying a regular box and portioning them out yourself.  I am a big penny pincher so this was great info for me.  I don’t know why I didn’t figure it out for myself but from now on I will be buying some baggies and making my own 100 calorie snack bags.  Then maybe I can fill like I can share with the rest of the family.

Now on to the question of the week.  This is the first time I have really dieted in my life for more then 5 minutes.  One big mistake I made a few years ago was when I had a membership to Curves.  I loved to go and exercise and did it faithfully for about 10 months.  I thought that exercising gave me a free pass to eat whatever I wanted still.  That year I gained 15 pounds.  I was so mad at myself for not eating healthy.  I know now that I have to eat healthy and exercise to lose weight.  Another mistake I made and I have said this before was not weighing myself for a long period of time.  I gained so much weight it was sickening.  I guess the best thing about mistakes is what we learn from them.  Through this weight loss journey I hope I have learned from my mistakes and that I will never want to be fat again. I can’t wait to hear everyones stories.

Morning weight-178.4 (hopefully I will undo my easter damages after all)

Daily Food Log

Breakfast- Strawberry Banana smoothie

toast-100 calories

sausage link-67 calories

Snack-fruit and nut bar-130 calories

Lunch-Salad-letuce, cheese, and carrots with lite ranch dressing

Miichelina meal-290 calories

Snack-Milk chocolate eggs ( in my mind for some reason I think I need to eat them so they will be gone faster)

Dinner-Meat Loaf, baked potatoe, and corn

Exercise-6 mile bike

Water-100 oz.

I really like Roni’s post yesterday about can’t vs. haven’t.  I have been really beating myself up lately because I just can’t get back in the groove.  I just seem like I don’t care anymore.  I have been basically maintaining my weight loss.  Which I guess is better then following off the wagon completely.  I want to lose about 25 more pounds.  The desire is there but the work effort is not. 

I would like to thank everyone for your comments and support.  It is nice to know that everyone goes through this and that it is possible to move on.  I think my biggest fear along with everyone else is that the weight I have worked so hard to lose will slowly creep back.  I think my way of not letting this happen is to weigh myself everyday.  A few years ago I didn’t weigh myself for months, when I stepped on the scale I was mortified that I had let myself gain so much weight.  The reason I didn’t weigh myself was because I was depressed and eating horrible.  I knew I was gaining weight because I had to buy bigger clothes I didn’t want to face reality. I am a big time emotional eater.  I think it hit me the most when I was at work and I was talking to my husband on the phone and we were arguing.  After I hung up I grabbed a candy bar and ate it so fast.  After I just looked at the wrapper and was shocked at what I had did.  I eat when I am stressed I eat when I am bored or angry or upset.  I am getting alot better.  I try to do something else instead of eating when I have these emotions. I feel like bad habits are starting to creep back.  It needs to stop now.

I am starting over.  I am going to pull myself out of this slump starting right now.  I am going to set realistic goals for myself, ones that I know I can do instead of ones that I hope I can do.  So from now I on I am not going to say I can’t do this when I haven’t even tried.

Morning weigh in 179 again

Breakfast: Strawberry Banana Smoothie and piece of toast

Snack: fruit and nut bar

Lunch: salad-lettuce, tomato, carrots, cheese with Lite Ranch dressing

Michelina 290 calories

Dinner-Chicken Enchilada and corn

Exercise-7 miles on exercise bike

Water-70 oz.

I didn’t weigh myself for 4 days last week.  It was very hard for me not to jump on the scale.  I like to weigh myself first thing in the morning and at night before bed.  I was getting frustrated because it would go up and down, between 177 and 179 I thought maybe it would help me do better.  Boy was I wrong I am up to 180.  I never wanted to go back. to the 80’s.  I am so pissed.  Yesterday when I saw the scale I kind of had a melt down.  I comforted myself by eating so much easter candy that even this morning I still feel like I want to puke.  Why do I do this to myself.  I know I am not trying my hardest and we ate out a few times last week.  But it is so hard to get back on track.  I want to so bad but for some reason I am having a hard time finding my way.  I did exercise last night and Saturday.  I guess that is a start.  I am going to start weighing myself every day again.  I think I am in maintaining mode right now and I don’t know how to get back to weight loss mode. 

Daily food journal

Breakfast-2 pieces toast-150 calories

grapefruit-51 calories

Snack-fruit & nut bar-210 calories

Lunch-Michelena-270 calories

apple-60 calories

Snack wrap-260 calories

Dinner-Hamburger

Exercise-nothing

Water-80 oz.

V8-70 calories

Today was a beautiful day.  I decided to take advantage of the good weather and go for my walk.  The loop I do is 3.5 miles.  I have not walked since Nov.  I am glad to be able to exercise outside.  I want to build up to jogging.  I am not sure how to though.  I can’t go very far now.  Me and my sister are wanted to do a 5k this summer so I want to start working towards that.  My feet hurt after I was done walking today.  I don’t know if it was because I haven’t done it in awhile or maybe the shoes I bought last year are not the best. I will have to see if they hurt every time.

This weekend has been busy with house work.  I decided it was time to do something about the mess.  It is amazing how fast your house can get cluttered.  I like to have a clean house it makes me in a better mood.  I just haven’t had much time or the motivation to clean.  I am moving a few rooms around so I am doing alot of deep cleaning.  I am feeling burned out right now after my walk and all the cleaning I think I will call it a night and see if the husband wants to watch a movie.

Daily food journal-

Breakfast- scrambled eggs and a piece of toast-300 calories

Lunch-Subway-580 calories

Snack -some milk choc. eggs from the kids easter baskets they got from the Easter Egg Hunt today

Dinner-Chicken Fajittas

Water-100 oz.

Exercise- 3.5 mile walk 

Yesterday I went and bought my kids Easter stuff.  I bought so much candy I think I could support the towns Easter Egg Hunt.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  I don’t want my kids having all that crap and I don’t want the temptation around.  I hope I can be strong. Maybe I will save some for later.

This morning at 5:30 I headed to Walmart.  They are having a big clearance sale this weekend on thier clothes.  Everything on their clearance racks are 50% off the already reduced price.  I went a little crazy.  I had my shopping cart clear to the top and it only cost me a little over $100.  I got me a bunch of workout clothes and other stuff for the family.  It was alot of fun.  I have never bought that many clothes at one time.  I just love it when I can get the kids an outfit for under $3.

Today is day 2 not weighing myself.  I hate not knowing what I weigh, but on the other hand it is kind of nice not to see the scale go up and down so much.  I hope when I do weigh in that it is down and not up or I probably will go back to weighing myself every day. I am hoping to get my house clean this weekend. It is getting to the point were I just don’t want to be home because it is so messy.  I hate that.

Sorry I am just rambling today.  I am feeling so hungry today like my body is starving for some kind of nutrient but I don’t know what. Check out all the good nutrition I have ate so far. LOL.  I think my body is telling me something.  The question is will I listen.

Well I hope everyone has a Happy Easter and a great weekend.

Daily Food Journal-

Breakfast-Fruit & nut bat-140 calories

Nutra Grain Bar-130 calories

Cheese Stick-80 calories

Snack: Reeces-230 calories (toddler opened but didn’t eat) Have I mentioned what a naughty little boy I have?

Lunch-turkey sand-? and apple

V8-70 calories ( I am going to see if this helps)

Snack-snack wrap-260 calories

Dinner-Chinese Food?

Water-100 oz.

Exercise-nothing- I am really getting out of the groove

Day 1 not weighing myself.  It is killing me not to jump on that scale.  Especially after last nights greasy dinner.  It is probably a good thing not to know . I will just get discouraged.  I will just assume I gained and do better today.

A couple of days ago I wore a new shirt.  It is not a tight shirt but one that kind of sticks to your body even though it is big.  After wearing it all day I came home and looked in the mirror and thought to myself I really shouldn’t be wearing this in public yet.  I really need to lose my belly fat and back fat.  I want to start working these problem areas.  I think the Jiggle Free Abs by the Firm works all these areas I really should start doing it more to see if it will help.  So that is also one of my goals to look good in my new shirt.

daily food journal

I want to eat more fulfilling meals and less snacks.

Breakfast-eggs and toast with jam-240 calories

Lunch-slice of pizza-300 calories

Snack-Snack wrap-260 calories

Dinner-Taco Salad

Water-150 oz.  I am so thirsty lately

Exercise-nothing I can’t get back in  the groove

Growing up I was never a breakfast person.  Alot of times I didn’t eat breakfast before school.  I don’t like milk therefore I didn’t eat cereal.  I started eating breakfast a few years ago.  Not a big breakfast but usually something.  On most days I eat a yogurt and either toast with jam or nutra grain bar, or granola bar.  Sometimes I cook scrambled eggs with salsa on them.  I love to make strawberry banana and yogurt smoothies.  On the weekends I make pancakes and eggs for the family.

Well on to other things.  I have a confession to make, yesterday was not a good day on the diet front.  My toddler opened two boxes of donuts at the store.  So I had to buy them.  I just couldn’t resist them and ate about 8 of them.  (They were the bite size one.) I felt like total crap after.  Why can’t I control myself.  This is exactly why I don’t have junk food around my house.  I was down on the scale yesterday 176, Today I am back up to 178.  I have decided to try not weighing myself every morning.  I think it discourages me when I am up and when I am down I feel like I can eat more that day.  So I am going to not weigh myself for a week and see how that goes.  I think it might drive me crazy it has been a habit to jump on the scale every morning.  But I am going to try.

Daily food journal

Breakfast-yogurt-100 calories

Fruit & nut bar-140 calories

Snack- apple with fruit dip-140 calories

Lunch-Michelinas frozen meal-290 calories

turkey wrap-?  I was so hungry after lunch I decided to eat something that might feel me up instead of a bunch a snacks

Snack-cookies-100 caloried

Dinner-Inlaws invited us over for fish and fries and b-day cake- so many calories I don’t even want to know

Water-140 oz.  So thirsty after all that salty food

Exercise-none- I suck

On Sunday at church a girl my age walked by and I mouthed to my husband, “she has gained alot of weight lately”. When did I become so judgemental.  Is it because I have lost weight and now I think I am better then people that haven’t lost weight or are gaining weight. Or am I just pround of myself that I am finally doing something about my weight.  I know how hard it is to not feel good about yourself.  I practically gained 30 lbs in one year because I was depressed about life.  Then of course after that I was depressed that I was fat and none of my clothes fit anymore.  I know that we all gain weight and lose weight for different reasons.  Sometimes it is scary to think that maybe I will have another bad year and gain all the weight I have lossed back.  How do we stop that cycle?  I know that I never want to be overweight again.  I still have about 25- 30 lbs. to lose.  I am only half way there.  I would like to think that once I reach my goal that I will be able to maintain for life.  This is the first time in my life that I have lost more than 5 lb.  I hope that this is a life time change in my mind and in my eating habits, I would hate to have to do it all again.