Bear with me, everyone, as my mind is very much occupied elsewhere. Yes, of course I am thinking of the wedding. However, right now work is very prevalent on my mind. Just alot of stuff going on there.
I haven’t done well on plan these past two weeks. According to my scale, I’ve gained 4 pounds since last weigh in. Sigh. The thing is that I know I’ve been doing poorly. I haven’t exercised nearly as much as I should. I’ve eaten out pretty much every day. I haven’t cooked at all, including my lunches, so…. yeah. You see my point.
The scary part of that is in the distance, I can see 190 pounds and then 200 pounds creeping back up on me. It’d be like it was before, when I lost 35 pounds and farted around with plan enough to get down past that 200 or to earn that forty pound star. I realize now that it terrifies me to see that looming.
I didn’t make dinner again last night, which means I don’t have lunch again today. I think today I need to stop by the store and figure something out for lunch. Or maybe I’ll just get up right now and cook some shrimp and spinach with my breakfast.
Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.
My brain is just so very tired right now. Maybe I can talk DF into taking me away somewhere without phones for a weekend. *eyes the calendar warily* Sigh.


2 comments
Comments feed for this article
April 4th, 2008 at 6:56 am
bikinime
OH god, I know that feeling — the one where I’m terrified that I haven’t really changed anything, I’ve just made a temporary loss and I can see 160 then 170 and then a lifetime after that of dieting but always being overweight because this is who I am, this is what I do. EEEEeeek! Nooooooooo!
I know that feeling and I totally hate it — and I don’t know when I’ll stop feeling it. I don’t want to forever feel as if I’m trying to outrun a monster — a very slow moving but determined monster (while wearing heels and a pencil skirt!). Argh — someday, I just want to BE the “new” me.
April 4th, 2008 at 7:26 am
turboturtle
Keep in mind that you have lost a lot of weight!!! Look at the amazing progress you have made and keep your eye on the goal rather than behind you from where you came from. If you look ahead with optimism…it will come. With the wedding coming up, think of how amazing you have done.
It will be beautiful. You have done amazing!! Don’t forget that!