Dear Cupcake,

I hadn’t planned to blog today, but I was reading a post on Diet is a Four Letter Word about disappointing splurges and it struck a chord with me today.

Today was a mad day at work - I work as a buyer in a distribution company. I buy in the products we distribute. Today was expecting a delivery to be made into our warehouse around lunchtime. This was important because we have to ship product out on Friday to be in shops over the weekend to correspond with an advertising campaign.

All afternoon I worked with my colleagues to find a way to get product delivered in time to meet cut-offs for customer orders and shipment out.

The goals moved every half hour:

• Friday morning was the best delivery date we could be guaranteed
• Well maybe we can get some in tonight
• Excellent - its inconvenient but we can make that work
• Set up process between 5 people who are necessary to make this work
• Actually it turns out all the stock can be in tonight - weather permitting
• Cool, that means out best case scenario an hour ago is now our worst case scenario as we can now service all customers
• Uhm, we just realised there will be noone in the warehouse to unload the delivery tonight - it’ll have to be done tomorrow.
• But we will be able to deliver to the customers
• It’ll just cost more now

Fabulous guys - at what stage in the afternoon did you NOT check your resources before agreeing to a process you were not able to support.

I feel a bit better now - thanks…..

Maybe I should blogged before I went to the shops on the way home….

Traffic was a nightmare, and the whole way home, and probably for about an hour before hand I was fantasising about cheesecake. But as I was thinking about what to eat for dinner I decided that I would call into a small grocery store that just does staples - no great range. No choice. Therefore opportunity for poor choices was limited.

So instead of the cake I was looking for and having looked at all the cakes, all the biscuits, all the chocolate bars and bags of chips, I found it hard to decide on what to buy. Why ?

Because I wanted to be sure that I would appreciate fully what I splurged on. I also wanted to contain it. Better to have one small bar of chocolate than a packet of biscuits which would mean more of a splurge and over more than just this evening. So I took my time, selected the bar which I felt would meet my comfort needs and purchased.

Now I understand that comfort eating is not the way forward; that looking to food as a solution, relaxant or mood enhancer is not necessarily a healthy option for either my body or mind.

But I am still seeing this as a small victory - I made the best bad choice I could and stuck to it.

The question remains was it worth it? Hmmmm. I enjoyed the chocolate and I do feel relaxed (or is that tired?) and less stressed (or is that tired?) - but really. I think I could have enjoyed a really crispy tart apple, or a huge crunchy salad, or some fresh mixed sushi and have felt like I had treated myself just as much as the chocolate did. In fact, I’m certain I would have even better.

But I see this journey as a series of baby steps and every one is learning exercise. The real success will come from remembering this lesson next time I have a crappy day and need a lift; and I head straight to the greengrocers.

Dear Cupcake,

I saw the orthopedic consultant (OC) for my follow up appointment yesterday.

Its been three weeks since my first visit, almost four since the “incident” as it now euphemistically referred to.

During that meeting, OC said this was his favourite type of injury (I think this was the orthopedic equivalent of bedside manner) - the fracture was one that does not require medical treatment beyond the sling and some painkillers. But I was tasked with doing two types of physiotherapy styled arm stretches and twists, three sets a day, 50 reps per set! OC joked that he liked these coz it was all down to me to make sure it had full mobility when it healed.

I more or less stuck to the plan; a couple of days I did less, a couple of days I did more, but overall I kept to the physio, spurred on by the desire to be 100% fit and well again. And the fact that the last thing he said to me as I was leaving was “Make sure you do the exercises”

There was something about his tone that sounded like a challenge - and I do like a challenge!

Yesteday I walked into OC’s office, sat down, and as he opened my notes announced “I did the exercises”. He smiled and asked me straighten my arm as far as it would go. And my work appeared to have paid off.

Not only did OC say that my arm is as good as fixed, but he actually commended me on my effort! It felt like a gold star from the teacher.

So - it’ll take another 9 months to heal fully, bones being bones. But I am free to get back to normal, get on with life and most importantly get back out on my bike!!

I have a pair of padded shorts in the drawer I am just itching to try out and a new “lady cut” seat to audition…..just gotta wait for the typhoon like winds to die down!

Dear Cupcake,

I am pleased to report that I walked the dog this evening after work and that i did the 4 mile loop!

It’s the first time I have been out on the loop since the accident. Initially I couldn’t go out because I couldn’t get about. Not only was my left elbow fractured and in a sling, but my right hand was sprained (still might be - but I shall check with the doc on Friday when I go back for a follow up appointment) and I had a bit of a limp where my left leg had taken the impact (seriously - is biking really so much more dangerous than when I was . Or am I just less robust ?? Or is it that I had further to fall ??)

I started back at work last week, but strangely I think I took a bit of a knock to my confidence as well so was a bit apprehensive about taking her out in case she pulled a bit heavily on the lead (she might be the size of a shoebox but she is a sturdy little thing and would easily win in a tug-of-war with a badger, especially if the prize was half a dozen pork sausages)

I digress….

I was a bit worried that I might get halfway round the track and not be able to finish - stuck two miles from home with a couple of dodgy arms and truculent terrier. But this evening the weather was just so gorgeous- like Kristi said in her post about her weekend, it just screamed at you to be outside!!

The sun was out, the clouds were up high and slow moving and as we made our was through the park there were birds singing, trees coming into leaf and there were lots of families out walking, people on bikes and out jogging, alongside dogwalkers like me. It was such a nice way to pass the time.

Granted it took me a good bit longer than usual but I am glad I did it - I enjoyed being out in the fresh air, and I feel like now I’ve been out once I can go out again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day…..

Dear Cupcake -

I know that this has been the question on your mind and lips for the better part of three weeks now.

And the answer is a valid if not particularly sexy one. Its also embarrassing but I am prepared to believe that blushing will burn off a few more calories by raising my body temp a little in the name of bringing you up to date.

Easter weekend was a mixed bag weather wise. Good Friday and Saturday were kinda cold, wet and windy - stay indoors, read a book and watch TV kinda days. But Easter Monday - well it was a corker. It started a bit cool and damp, but since it wasn’t actually raining, and since we’d eaten quite a bit at my in-laws on Easter Sunday, DH and I figured we should get up and get out on our bikes.

So we did. And it was awesome. We’d actually been out the previous weekend and had a brilliant time. I was slow, and it was hard going, but the countryside was beautiful, the weather fabulous and the sense of acheivement after being out for 2 hours unbeatable. Motivation was high for the second outing and it was not in vain.

We started off on the same route, and this time we were clocking the miles much faster. I warmed up nicely and the sun started to peek as the morning drew on.

Some stretches were tough, but I enjoyed the workout as much as the fresh air - the uphills were compensated by the downhills, the flat runs, and the pretty scenery. I cannot recommend this highly enough as a form of exercise. Seriously - get the wind in your hair my dear cupcake (although do be sure to add a little cupcake frosting in the form of a crash helmet, just in case)

The ride was going so well, and being enjoyed so much, that DH and I decided we should make it a little longer still. And extra 10km and an extra 30 minutes. We followed a cycle path through a neighbouring town and out the other side. I managed to jump my bike down a kerb and for about 10 minutes I felt like a hardcore mountain biker.

And then I tried to jump a very small kerb.

In my defence, as soon as I saw the kerb disappear beneath the edge of my front wheel, I thought “Uh-oh! That’s not good!”

Too late unfortunately as I hit the kerb at a bad angle and rather than mount the pavement, I instead tipped sideways and skidded (thankfully in the opposite direction to the road) along on my left handside. My memory is of falling, emitting a strange moan of forboding before breaking my fall with my left arm and stopping just as my face made contact with gravel.

And just like that I took myself out of the game for about 6 weeks. I sustained, according to the doctor in the ER, a radial head fracture “Quite common” he reckons. Quite ruddy painful too !

I spent two weeks roaming around the house unable to do anything, and I mean anything. Dressing was hard, showering was hard, and DH had to loosen the lids on things for me in the kitchen before he left for work so I wouldn’t starve!

Actually, roaming is a bit of a misnomer - having taken quite a clatter all down my left hand side, my leg was also a bit dodgy and was sporting cuts and bruises unlike any I have sustained since I was about 8 years old and there was an incident at school involving a skipping rope and a game of tag, but I don’t like to dwell on that too much.

Limping for two weeks is probably fairer.

Now? Well I am back to work; I can type again, I can drive again, but I can’t operate a door handles with my left hand. I can’t wash my hair using my left hand (so rinsing is a bit tricky) and I can’t go out on my bike.

I’m gutted. But if I have learned a lesson (other than not attempting moves I am not qualified to execute) it is that I should appreciate my body a little more for what it is and what it can do. Less focus on what it looks like and what it can’t do.

I know I have some weight to lose and I know that I could be way fitter than I am. But I have a body that will allow me to do all sorts of things - cook my own tasty food (seriously CC - I haven’t been able to chop veg as I haven’t been able to hold anything whilst chopping), allow me to work so that I can mix with other people and earn my own money (home alone for two weeks, I couldn’t wait for some office banter) and lastly to exercise. I was so proud of my body as it scooted me past fields and houses, along main roads, and little country side roads. And now am I grateful to it for its powers of recovery as I look towards getting back out in the fresh air, wearing my fancy padded cycling short and sitting on my fancy ladies cycle seat Iwhich arrived in the mail while I was recuperating having been ordered the day before my accident!)

And incidentally it appears that I am still able to consider myself an extreme sportsperson - since the extent of my injuries could not be known until the results of an X-ray some hours later and rather than sit shivering by the side of the road whilst DH peddalled off ahead to fetch the car and bring me to hospital, I decided I would start towards home and meet him as he came along the road. Walking wasn’t doing it - I was getting cold, and being impatient I thought what the heck, swung my leg over over the crossbar and slowly set my course along the road, covering a good couple of miles before DH pulled up behind me.

Bike riding with a fractured elbow and a bleeding knee.

Hardcore - you know the score!