Nov 18
Day 1… for the 15th time…
I have had several blogs, I decide I am motivated and going to start on this journey and then I fall off… sometimes it’s after a week, or a month, or sometimes just a day. I am so disappointed in myself and I can’t believe that I have let myself go this far. I hate being fat. I hate what I have turned into, I hate that I get out of breath after 1 flight of stairs, yet I used to be able to RUN 5 miles without stopping. I hate that everyday I struggle to find clothes that will stretch around my body, and that I used to have that hourglass type figure. I hate that I feel as though I tricked my husband with a cute little package that has blown up in his face. I feel guilty that my step-daughter looses out because I am too tired to do things, or because I physically can’t. I look at myself everyday in the miror and I don’t even recognize myself anymore. When people come over ane see old pictures of me and they say “oh you were so pretty”, I know that person is still in there, burried in there, buried under years of overeating and neglect for myself. I can’t live like this any longer. I have no more excuses. I am busy, but so are alot of people, alot of people that are not obese. I have a lot of stress in my life, but so do a lot of other people, people who don’t unload the refrigerator after a bad day. It has taken me a long time to realize that you can not control what other people do, you can only control yourself, and now that I realize that I need to start doing it. I need to control myself, I know weight watchers inside and out. I should, I have been on the program 3 times,and each time I was successful, successful that is until I quit for one lame reason or another. I can tell you point values of hundreds of things, how much water you need, all about activity points. Why can’t I jsut do it, why do I insist on giving into whatever spur-of-the-moment craving I have and then convincing myself it’s over the whole program is over, that I ruined it all, when I know that tomorrow is another day. I am not stupid so why I am I acting so foolishly?
Well, I need to do this, both for me and for my family, and I need to start now.
Wish me luck!!
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Hi! You should know that you’re not alone. I, too, (and I know many others), have started Weight Watchers and other “healthy lifestyles” more times than I can count only to eventually quit and regain the weight. But I know we can do this for good and make these changes last!