New Perspectives

I don’t think the words “stressed” and “exhausted” do an adequate job of describing quite how I’ve been feeling lately. You know how it is, life gets in the way and “STUFF” just builds up and before you know it, it catches up with you. That’s what happened Sunday morning when I started having painful cramps and contractions that would NOT go away. After 2 hours I paged the midwives and ended up at the birth center to get checked out. Thank God I wasn’t dilating yet, but my cervix was a bit effaced (perhaps normal at this stage) but my midwife, Julie, wanted me to stay for a few hours so I could rest, relax and get the cramping and contractions under control. We determined that my problems may be caused not only form stress, but also from not eating enough. Seriously, I’m one of those people that FORGETS to eat… at least I have learned to supress feelings of hunger so well that I no longer recognize it in it’s early stages until I’m absolutely famished and then I need to eat something RIGHT NOW… and then it’s usually whatever I can grab and not the healthiest choice. So… my iron was low AND I needed to eat about 3X more protein than I had been getting. So, I stayed all of the afternoon and into the evening. Julie was so attentive and took good care of me. I can’t imagine getting better care anywhere else. By the evening I was ready to go home for a few day of bedrest and relaxation.

The thought of bedrest seemed indulgent and quite wonderful at first… but seriously… I don’t know how women get through weeks, even months of it! My MIL came down to help out with the kiddos, and that’s been GREAT… but the bordem is starting to get to me. Plus the fact that this munchkin in my belly is CRUSHING my spine and I can’t seem to get comfortable at all! 6 more weeks… I can make it. No, not 6 more weeks of bedrest… 6 more weeks ’til this baby is full term! Then we can have ourselves a baby!

So… I’m “resting” to the best of my ability at this point. I’m staying hydrated. I’m eating as much protein as I can. And tomorrow I’m calling a chiropractor to see about some moves or massage that could help out with the back and pelvic pain. UGH… I just want my body back!!!

6 more weeks…. at least… just hang in there…

Blah… another day in the life. I think I have officially reached a point where pregnancy is getting tiresome. Not that I don’t love being preg… I’m just starting to feel uncomfortable, clumsy and huge. Having to pee every 30 minutes gets old really fast… as does whining about it! (so I’ll spare you the complaining ) The munchkin is definitely getting bigger, though, and my insides are starting to feel invaded!

Ok, so I still haven’t posted recent pics… I need to just make it a priority because it won’t be long and this “cute” baby bulge won’t be cute anymore… it’ll just be a bulge! As of now I’m 29 wks and a couple days. It’s hard to believe… I’m feeling a mixture of just about every emotion there is to feel right now. Hormones, I know… But I just don’t feel like myself anymore. Some days I can’t wait for The Big Day… but most days I’m scared to death about what I’m going to do when it gets here. Not that I’m scared of labor/childbirth… I’m more afraid of raising 3 kids 4 and under!

At least (hopefully) the warm weather is here to stay. Makes me want to grab the kids and dog and head out for a walk around the neighborhood. A good plan, I suppose… I need the exercise anyway! I love days when I don’t have a long list of things to do. I prefer just letting the day unfold… and then tonight we have childbirth class. Obviously this isn’t my first baby, nor is it my first time in a childbirth class… but it is my first home birth… and the first time pain medicine isn’t an option. Not that I want it to be… but I’m definitely feeling more of a responsibility to prepare for this birth any way that I can.

Ok… that’s it for now. Time to feed the kids and go for a walk! Enjoy the beautiful weather.

The only thing I can think to say right now is wow…

Wow, it’s been ages since I’ve posted

Wow, I actually feel motivated to post today!

Wow, I’m looking at my 8 weeks preg. picture and OH MY! have I grown!

Sure enough, at (almost) 25 weeks pregnant my hips, butt, thighs and especially BELLY are no longer the cute size 6 that I had worked so hard to achieve.  Oh well… I’ve done it twice before… I can do it again, right?

So, for any of you out there who used to keep up with my blog…. Yes, I’m still here and I’m still pregnant.  I feel bad for not posting since Nov… I kinda gave up when I was no longer trying to lose weight.  I would like to get back into blogging, but keep the topics about pregnancy and other life-related stuff until I’m ready to lose the baby weight.  Speaking of which… it shouldn’t be as much weight this time around.  Granted, I still have a whole entire trimester left, but I think I’m still in the 170s which is nearly where I STARTED my last 2 pregnancies.  I still feel bloated, though and I can see it especially in my face.

So, as for the VBAC that I was considering… I’ve decided to go ahead with it.  I actually found 2 WONDERFUL midwives here in my town who are willing to attend the birth.  (my local hospital and doctors won’t let me have one) AND, get this, I’m planning a homebirth!  It wasn’t an easy decision for me to make because the VBAC comes with a SLIGHT risk of uterine rupture, but I have been doing TONS of research in the last few months and have discovered that VBAC is actually safer than a repeat cescerean.  I have actually become very passionate about the issue of natural childbirth vs the medicalization of birth… all starting when I saw the documentary by Ricki Lake The Business of Being Born.  Seriously, it has changed my entire perspective on hospitals and the Ob/Gyn world.  Ladies, you owe it to yourselves to AT LEAST watch the trailer on the website.  I never expected it to get me so fired up!  You can pretty much count on me posting more on that issue.

Speaking of obstetricians, I’m planning on “divorcing” mine today.  My ultrasound was excellent, my labs are fantastic… so, I’m going for my monthly check-up and saying “so long” to the doctor who felt he needed to cut me open to get my daughter out.

More on that later, I suppose… My little munchkin (not going to find out the sex) is kicking the laptop and making it hard for me to sit here comfortably much longer!

It’s good to be back

My ob seemed thrilled that I was continuing to work out during my pregnancy… and when I told him I was BodyPumping he said “pump away!”  So, his encouraging words, my lack of nausea and my feelings of guilt associated with not exercising at all during the last 2 weeks motivated me to get off my rump and go to BodyPump last night!  It felt good to do something for myself and it felt good to work out my stiff muscles.  I was really careful about overdoing it, though, so I didn’t pick up where I left off 2 weeks ago weight-wise.  I decreased the weight on my bar but I’m still sore this morning.  I’m really proud of myself for going… and making it through the class.  I need to keep this up.  Yay me!

Well, after reading so many sad stories lately about bleeding and miscarriages I was petrified at the dr this afternoon, waiting for my first ultra sound.  I’ve been really nervous these past few days because my nausea has majorly declined and I’m pretty much ok to eat whatever, whenever.  Normally less nausea is a good thing, but so early in pregnancy…. I was worried something was wrong.  As it turns out everything is FINE… thank God.  The baby has a heartbeat and the dr changed my due date to June 23.  I’m thinking about staying local for all of my ob check-ups and then transferring to a dr willing to do a VBAC later in my pregnancy.  Less driving… know what I mean?  Especially with the cost of gas these days.

Anyway… this is just a quickie I need to get the kiddos ready for bathtime.  Here’s my 8 week picture, I’m starting to get a pooch:

Has anyone out there NOT been tagged yet??  If so, consider yourself tagged… I’ve been tagged a few times, so I figure this is the best way to go about things, considering just about everyone I know has been tagged.    Here are 7 factoids about me (that you won’t find on my “About Me” page).

1. I HATE germs… almost to the point of obsession.  Seriously, sometimes I worry about myself.  I carry Purell with me everywhere I go…. and I avoid leaving the house with the kids during cold/flu season unless I have to.
2. Before taking on the task of full-time parenting/homemaker I went to college where I studied biopsychology and psychopharmacology.  After graduation I became a certified neurofeedback practitioner.  My dad thinks my education went to waste, but the longer I was in school, the more I realized I wanted to settle down and be a mom.
3. I worry too much about stuff I have no control over.  I need to let go and trust God more with my life.
4. I have a 6th sense about people and things that my husband has learned not to ignore.  He used to laugh when I got a “bad feeling” about someone/something, but now, after being right so many times, he even brings prospective employees to meet me so I can feel them out.
5. My hubby and I met at the bank when we were in college.  We dated, fell in love, got engaged and broke up all in about 8 months.  We were young and selfish and thought we knew everything.  2.5 years later, it took the devestation of 9/11 to make us realize that life was too short to be proud.  We got back together in November of ‘01 and married 4 months later.
6. I used to love camping, but after a big tree fell inches from my head one night while I was sleeping, I took it as a sign that I should do my sleeping indoors… under a roof.
7. I have very little tolerance for confrontational and competitive personalities.  I think both qualities CAN be good, when appropriate, but I have a way of dismissing people with a chip on their shoulder… and people with something to prove.  GET OVER IT.

Ok folks… that’s me.  Pass the tag along.  And have a great Friday :o)  I’m actually feeling good today!  YAY!

Wow… it’s been ages.  I guess it goes without saying that I’ve just been feeling like poo.  And I’m EXHAUSTED!  I’m getting about 9 hrs of sleep at night and it’s STILL not enough!  I don’t remember feeling this tired with either of my other 2 pregnancies.   But then again I have never been pg and raised 2 little ones at the same time.  At least the last pregnancy I could nap when my son napped.  Now he’s older, doesn’t nap and, even though my youngest does, I can’t just pass out in the middle of the day with a 4-yr-old running around the house.
And then there’s the “morning” sickness.  I spend most of the day oscillating between utter and total starvation, feeling like I have to eat something ANTHING right now!!  And then as soon as I eat it’s back to nausea.  It lasts for a few hours until the hunger strikes again out of nowhere.  This is ridiculous.  I have never experienced anything like this before.  I’m getting about 2 meals in every day, plus a small breakfast and a snack if I feel like I need it, so I’m not worried about not eating enough.  I haven’t weighed myself in about a week, and I’m not sure I’m going to make it a daily thing anymore… too depressing to see it go up after working so hard to get it down for all those months.  I know, I know… I’m pregnant… I’m SUPPOSED to gain weight… still it’s hard.  I know all you other pg gals can identify.  I’m almost 8 weeks and all of my clothes still fit, although I think this is the last week for my size 8 jeans.  They’re just too tight in my waist.

So… as promised here are my “7 weeks” progression pics.  I can’t tell a difference from last week, and tbh I think I might actually look SMALLER.  I’m obviously not showing to the outside world, but I’m going to keep up with the weekly pics…. one of these days I’ll start looking pregnant!

…AND…

I thought you might be interested in my Halloween costume.  All decked out minus the hair and makeup and the lace-up part in the front.  The dress is the genuine article, straight from Germany :o)

Ok folks… that’s all for now.  I have a lot to say, but I’m going to take advantage of feeling good right now and spend some time with the family.  Take care!

Hey… I’m still here, hanging around, reading blogs, etc… but I’m slacking in the entries deptartment cuz of feeling gross from pregnancy.  The nausea is SO not fun and it really puts a damper on things.  I just need to clean my house… But I feel so… ugh!!…   Just wanted to let ya know I’m still around.  I’ll blog when I can, and at the very least post weekly pg progression pics.  Stay tuned :o)

Hey Folks, long time no blog, eh?  Feels like forever although it’s only been a couple days.  I’ve been feeling like crud lately, compliments of rising hormone levels (”morning” sickness…. more like ALL DAY sickness) and lack of sleep due to having to get up and to the bathroom several times a nite.  Pregnancy is kicking my rear this time around!  My first one (boy) was totally uneventful, the second (girl) was mildly uncomfortable, and this one is proving to be the most uncomfortable thus far.  And it doesn’t make it any easier that I have hungry kids whining for food when I’m feeling nauseous.  I seriously hope that this goes away soon… it SUCKS.  I hate feeling nauseous all day.

So… I finally decided that I’m going to do whatever it takes to prevent another c-section, even if that means driving 45 min to the doctor.  This morning I made an appointment with a new dr 45 min away who will let me try to deliver this baby without surgury.  The drive is kinda out of the way, but SO worth it in the long run.  I go tomorrow for my “proof of pregnancy” visit.

I also promised pregnancy progress photos, so here’s one of me at 6 weeks.  I don’t think I look pg to the rest of the world, but my tummy looks more bloated to me.  Definitely not really showing yet… and all my clothes still fit.  Please pardon the “fresh from the gym” look… I really had just come from BodyPump.

Well, we wanted the rain…. looks like we got some, didn’t we??  Those of us on the East Coast are getting washed out!  I can’t even remember how long it’s been raining…. all day yesterday, at least.  It’s not even supposed to let up until tonight.  We’re already hearing the weather advisories… looks like it might flood.  We’re just praying it won’t.

So, pregnancy without points is proving to be pretty uneventful.  I splurged on some stuff (Halloween cookies) the other day… but that’s it, really.  Oh, and pizza last night.  But I’m actually doing pretty well.  I’ve been craving protein and tomatoes (V8, tomato soup)… same as when I was pg with my daughter.  I haven’t really had morning sicknesss yet.  At least nothing to complain about.  Some mornings I feel kinda seasick and hot-flashy, but it passes by lunch.

Tomorrow I’ll be 6 weeks and I have only gained 1.5 lbs.  Not bad at all. :o)  I think some of that gain was from BodyPump the other day.  I usually put on a lb or so a day or 2 after I lift weights.  Then I go back down… I’m not stressing about it either way.  My tummy looks pretty round this morning (kinda cute) but thankfully the jeans still fit :o)

 Ok, I’m gonna try to find something fun to do indoors with the kids today… but I’m drawing a blank.  I would like to  bake with them, but I need to go to the store.  Maybe we could paint some pumpkins…. I just really don’t want the mess.  LOL… I wish I could just curl up on the couch in my jammies and watch TV (cold and rainy… perfect time), but I don’t think the kids would go for that.  Where did they get so much energy??  All they do is move and wiggle constantly ALL DAY LONG.  They need to run outside… bad day for that!

Ok, time to face the music (aka the kids) Stay dry everyone!