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I’m finally starting to feel better, and can actually breathe through my nose again now Mood has been improving too, but today is another drizzly day outside and i hate that…

Even though i have stepped on the scales a few minutes ago, which i’ve not done for over a month now, and they’ve showed what my way too tight jeans prove me everyday, my day will not be spoiled about that!!!! I’m positive it was just the thing i needed to get me up and kickin’ those flabby legs finally. I’m not proud to say that i’ve put on a good 3 kg of winterfat which puts me back to nearly 95-ish (kilos that is) but Mea Culpa, so this year i’m gonna stop feeling sorry and frustrated for myself like i used to, because that ain’t gonna help me

Soooo, with all this, busy day today, long one at work and i need to go to my parents’ home to get the remaining guinea pig and bring her back to my flat to stay with me….

That being all said (feeling even better now, it’s good to be honest with yourself sometimes) i need to get ready for work, so i’ll be checking in on the rest of you later! I wish you all a GREAT DAY

So with a new year, comes a whole list of new resolutions as usual…. But i will try something new this year! See we always resolve to lose 20 kilos, quit smoking or some other really big thing that’s just so overwhelming, we fail inevitably, well i do anyway!

Why not set smaller goals to be accomplished over a few months instead of 3 big things to be done in a year?

I’ve been thinking about what i’d like to work on the next 3 months and here they are:

• get fitter!!!!!! Do anything i want as long as i get MOVING off the couch and this at least 3 times a week
• smile more (generally be less grumpy at work :D)
• drink, drink, drink Water
• cook more at home and eat less processed foods, thus eat more fresh veg and fruit
• spend less money on clothes and luxury goods in order to buy a new car this year

Voilà :)…… Plus, i’ve signed into Snarky’s Spring into weightloss, a WW challenge Check it out, i think it’s a great idea and some of us might need the kick in the butt after the end of year festivities (well i’m sure i do ).

…. has been a rather busy year for me! It was filled with constant ups and downs, one house-moving and alot of excuse-making! Yes, excuses! I reckon i have had plenty of those for my poor motivation to stick to the plan (i’m actually quite good at them )

Now if i look back at 2007, i see that i have started my first attempt at WW in May and i’ll be starting my 5th attempt in January i guess. Nothing to be proud of here, but i’ve decided to cut the crap (excuse the language ladies) and finally be honest with myself and share this with you all. I’ve lost a total of 3 kilos from May until now, that’s really lame?! But bear in mind that i would have gained 5 and lost 3 then again gained 4 and lost 5, it’s was yoyo-ing at its best

Thinking about this, makes me wonder if i really really want to loose those kilos…. Deep down i’m still a lazy brat and find it real hard to make an effort towards a better lifestyle, why is it we always self-sabotage ourselves like that? This year i thought weightloss would come to me as a great big epiphany and it would just click and i would just cut eating junk and finally eat food that is good for me. But i’ve had to discover that it won’t be like that, and that i will have to work EVERY-bloody-DAY on acquiring a better lifestyle because if i let loose i will slip and fall off again, and let me tell you, that freaks me out!

So here i am, taking babystep after babystep towards a smaller me, because running will only make me fall on my ass once again.

I’m back on the spinning bike, yey! It’s tough but feels real good. I had a long summer break but now that the days are getting shorter and the temperatures dropping, i feel like i really need to move my butt a little :). Am slowly getting back into my gym routine, i have been far too lazy lately and it’s not doing me any good, i feel all flabby and tired.

So right now i’m sore as hell everytime i get back from class and it takes me about 2-3 days to be able to walk like a normal person but that’s usually when i intend to get back on the bike so i’m one big load of stiff muscles all the time But it feels good to do something and i intend to keep it up and even topping it with some treadmill sessions and some weightlifting! I need to get back into shape, because the way i look right now does not make me happy at all and i’m working on being a happier person, right?!

Plus did i mention it yet? I’m flying to Hongkong on the 30th January to visit my buddy Michèle who is studying Law there for a year. So i want to kick a few of those lbs Goodbye, you know so as to be in a good shape when i’m there I’m soooo looking forward to seeing her, she’s been gone since August now and it’s been way too long!

So here i am, full of promises to myself and new resolutions! I feel like karate kickin everything right now and am motivated, wonder how long i can keep that up…

Oh man i’m having a really hard time getting all my points in lately…. Mainly because i will eat cereal in the mornings and pasta at lunchtime and then maybe fish for dinner and inbetween i’ve never had fruit or veggies! I really need to get more fruit and veg into my diet because it’s just not enough like that. And we all know that eating under your Points is not an alternative to faster weightloss, right?! So what i’m gonna do, is i’m gonna try to be more conscious about the food i eat and pick some fruit as a snack and have a salad during lunch… Does anyone else have days like that where they struggle to eat their Points? This is really strange for me as i’m usually the one going wayyyyyyy over Points

I missed my Meeting this morning because just about everything that could go wrong went wrong…. I got out of the house just before 10am and that’s already late considering it’s a 20 minutes drive and i need to be there around 10! I get to my car and i see that the 2 back tires are flat, then i get in the car and i see that i the fueltank is next to empty. By then i’m fuming already because i know i’m not gonna make it on time to meeting! So i resolve myself that i won’t be going to the meeting again this week and by now i’ve calmed down again and am relaxed. But i really wanted to go, i think they really help me stay focused and i like to hear how the other people are doing too, it helps me put my efforts and mistakes in perspective (wow that sounds quite complicated, i know )

So, no meeting for me this week but a much needed visit to the hairdresser this afternoon. I’m thinking about cutting my hair into one of those trendy bob cuts… it’s very long now and thick and i’m just tired of it so i’m excited about that.

Gotta run, more later!

So i kinda lost track of my plan a little the last few days…. I had been so busy that i didn’t have the time to sit down and eat when i was hungry and so i had to have lunch on the go on Thursday which ended at Mc Donalds (ouch!) with a Chicken Wrap, Big Mac and potatoes. I hadn’t been to McD for aaaaaaaaages so it was totally yummy but after it left me feeling sick because of all that fat. In the evening i didn’t want to eat dinner but ended up joining my dad for a plate of pasta with mussels which then resulted in my feeling even more stuffed. Why is it so hard to refuse food when you’re not hungry?? Friday was again a busy day with plenty of work at the restaurant at lunch and i had fish in a green pepper sauce, again not the ideal WW choice really but i thought i’ll eat a light dinner then. But no, i was dying for some dimsum from my usual chinese restaurant and so i got some takeaway for dinner (damn it!!). Today went slightly better as i’m trying to focus on what i’m shoving into my mouth but it’s not easy, i feel like this demands constant attention as you’re so likely to slip back into old eating habits… Am i the only one feeling like that or do some of you have the same problem?

Anyway it’s the weekend and i have plenty of things to do. This afternoon i’m starting to move some of my stuff over to my flat plus i need to go to Ikea for some furniture so there will be some heavy lifting involved

Have a good weekend you all!

Just a few lines before i go to my WI….Not sure how it will turn out. Forgot to step on the scales and i’m dressed now so i can’t be bothered anymore. I’m wearing a t-shirt and yogapants as opposed to my usual jeans and a top just to see if the meeting-scale shows something more close to what it shows me here at home! Plus this weekend has been way under points seeing as i had nothing to eat on Saturday and yesterday i had watery soup with pastaloops in it and for dinner i had a little pasta with tomato sauce…. so not much really! We’ll see how that turns out.My back hurts since i’ve been lying around nearly the whole weekend. I suspect it’s the matress that is getting old here on my bed. I won’t be changing it now seeing as i’m moving soon and i bought a brandnew bed already (which i intend to sleep in very soon).So, gotta run now. More later… 

Hm didn’t go that well the end of the week. Weekends are always my weak spot, somehow i always manage to go completely overboard at least one of the days….

Friday went reasonably well, left work at 8pm and had pasta with salmon for dinner with Elodie. We had to try on our costumes for the tournament on Sunday. We had a really good laugh trying them on and making the last adjustments, and i was really pleased with myself as i thought they had come out really well.

Saturday i was at work pretty much the whole day, so nothing special there.

Then came Sunday, tournament day. Started with a standard breakfast made of bran flakes and a banana. I packed my bag in a real hurry after that, seeing as i was up quite early but kept wasting time on watching TV or just lying around in bed… Got to the club and we got dressed up in our Roman costumes, and went up to get some lunch before our teeoff at 1pm (a barbecue was arranged for the players). There i had a burger and some salads with a coke, which i found was reasonable, i wasn’t all that hungry because i was nervous plus i was not in a good mood because i got a call from work (i get nervous before having to play a tournament, whether it counts for the Handicap or not, i know, it’s crazy but i just can’t control myself). We played ok, the front 9 were tough because i just couldn’t relax and focus on the game so i messed up some important shots, but then we got a grip and it went ok on the back 9. I only wish i could control my emotions more on the course, i can’t focus when i’m nervous or uneasy, apparently Yoga helps? What bummed me even more is that i put some thought and work into those costumes and in the end we lost the “best dressed” prize to the Danes who won it just because they wore matching t-shirts, which to me is just too damn easy honestly (i’m really upset, can you tell? ) By then it was already 8.30pm and i was starving… Nobody wanted to go and have dinner so i went to Mc Donalds and had a load of junk food!!! Oh man, i felt so bad after that… Definitely not a good idea! I was totally freaking out because of the WI today and all sorts of crazy visions came up to me like maybe i had gained 4 kg in a day or that the WI scale broke when i stepped on it at WI. I think the visions just came because i slept really badly with the fatty food in my stomach and that brought nightmares :D.

Anyway Monday came and went and eventually Tuesday came…. I overslept my morning meeting so i had  to go to the 5pm one which i don’t really like because by that time you’ve eaten 2 (or even 3) times and you’ve drank a substantial amount of fluids too so that can’t be that accurate to me but hey, that’s life right? So i stepped on the scale and it only showed a 400g loss which i was not happy about because my scale this morning showed me a -800g (which i like much more!). But nevermind, i did feel really bloated of all the junk i had so i hope it’ll feel better in a few days… Next week i’ll be weighing in on Monday morning instead of Tuesday so this means i need to be a 100% OP this week. Actually, that is a good weekly challenge… Be OP for the rest of the week until Monday!!!!

I stumbled upon a really interesting post over at Bret’s blog called Sugar begets Sugar. Mainly it’s about how eating sweet stuff makes us craving more of it and so on… So i tried that for myself the last couple of days and was really astonished at how my body reacted.

Now, i love sweets and desserts, and i think you can tell by all the belly-fat i’m carrying around but i think that if i limited myself to a piece of chocolate every once in a while (instead of every day?!?!) i wouldn’t crave it that much anymore… That’s what happenend to me the other day, i had a good OP day sofar and after dinner i felt totally satisfied and well fed, so i thought i’d give that theory a try and got a box of the chocolate ice-cream pralines my mum keeps in the freezer and see there!! I felt like i could have had all the boxes right then, i felt so hungry all of a sudden. I went from perfectly fine, to completely out of control, it was impressive and above all very informative.

So this little adventure tells me i need to be more in control of the sweet stuff in shove into my mouth, and most important how often i do it because i tend to not be satisfied with one piece of cake…

Thanks to Bret for her entry, it helped alot!!

I can feel it, the wind of change

Came back from my meeting this morning, and it was really inspiring… I was slightly nervous, because i hadn’t been for 2 months. Got up on the scale and it showed 96.2, which i’m definitely not happy about but i was already wearing the dressshoes and a big belt, plus i’m just out of my periods…. I’m positive, people! I really am, for the first time since ages i believe i truly can do THIS!

So i got myself a spankin’ new Points Journal and the new 365 days a year cookbook and now i’m all set to get started. I’m actually excited, i get to start from scratch, and this time i will be OP, damn it!!!!!

More later….

This is an Update to my post from this morning. I checked the WW homepage to find the exact time of meeting and it turns out at the location i want to go it’s actually tomorrow morning at 10… Already, i am feeling very queasy and i don’t know why, because frankly it’s my own doing that i have been eating poorly the last 6 weeks or so! And it won’t change a thing if i go tomorrow or wednesday. I really need to take responsability for my actions and choices, NOW!

So, i’m going to WI tomorrow… That was it, for the moment!

I have had one hell of a week. It started out last monday with, yet again, some very uncomfortable period pains (i get pains in my kidneys and ovaries, it’s very painful) and with that, some very impressive food cravings. I think i might be worse than a pregnant woman actually… I get tired and cranky, and if i don’t get the particular food i’m craving at that moment i get very unhappy.

So this is how my week started and ended basically. TOM, for me, usually lasts 5-7 days, which is way too long for my taste. Can’t get anything done during that time because of the discomfort, can you tell i really hate that week?!

Of course i have not been OP whatsoever, so i’m a little worried about the scales. I’m waiting until Wednesday to weigh myself because of all the water i retain during periods, but the overall feeling is not a good one.

I have learned a few things too this last week. The first one is, that high-fiber fruit juices leave me very bloated and gassy… I had 2 glasses of juice yesterday morning for breakfast and let me tell you, it’s very embarassing and uncomfortable when you have to play Golf in the afternoons Am feeling better now, thank goodness! The other one is, i really need to get back to those WW meetings because they might be the only thing that would keep me OP… I must admit, i didn’t really like them. I went to 2 of them and i got demotivated quickly by the fact that the WI is at 3pm and that i’m never ever wearing the same clothes that day as i’m coming straight from work. So after my first week OP i was still the same weight on their scale, and i wasn’t at all happy with that!! I know, i let myself down too quickly, i’m just soooo bloody impatient!!

So here’s the plan… Get back to the weekly meeting on Wednesday, which hopefully will get me started on WW for good! I need to stay focused, damn it!!!!!!

It seems like my teeny tiny efforts of the last couple of days have begun to show on the Scale! People, i’m officially down 1.5 lbs… I know, i know it’s a tiny loss but a loss is a loss, right?! Needless to say i’m very happy. I think i might be able to get back on track actually, i feel all fresh and motivated (although i can still feel that i’m bloated from all the food i’ve been having in the past couple of weeks).

I have been working on the “meet the author” page and added a kind of progress/goals page so that i can be a bit more specific about myself not much to put in there yet, but it will all come sooner or later… Even if it takes me ages to get there, i will, eventually!!

…. is currently turning into a terrible week!?

I had promised myself on Sunday to start over WW again and follow it religiously…. Monday came and i stayed OP really well with no snacking whatsoever because i had been busy going to ikea with Michele to get my bed for the flat We had to bring up all the boxes one by one up to the second floor to my flat because the elevator isn’t in service yet! Man was i feeling hot after that…

Then Tuesday i managed to stay OP too, that was great, hadn’t had 2 good days in a row for aaaaaaages now. No big deal foodwise though, am struggling with eating my veggies and fruits lately (i keep forgetting).

But then came Wednesday, started all very well with breakfast as usual and a reasonable lunch made of a salad topped with chicken breast and pineapple and mango pieces in it (if you’re not eating your fruit then just throw it into your meals ) but then came the afternoon and i went to look at some stuff for my home. On the way back home i stopped to get some food at the shops and bought some cottage cheese, fresh berries and other stuff plus…. a bag of 3 donuts!? And let me tell you, i don’t remember what i was thinking when i actually put the bag into my cart, i was probably completely out of my mind because usually fatty foods make me sick, i get stomach cramps and really bad colics…. But still i ate those darn donuts without even a blinking of an eye and i topped the whole disaster with a chocolate pudding when i got home (by then i was feeling really sick, too much food) and then in the evening i had a huge plate of pasta. People!!!!! That is bad!! Can anybody tell me why oh why do we overeat sometimes to a point where it makes us sick and bloated??? I just can’t understand how i can eat all that without thinking and with an appetite that is as big as a whole family….

Today wasn’t much better actually. Am kind of letting myself feel down because of yesterday and it’s only making things worse for me, because i realised that feeling down or unhappy with myself often makes me eat even more. So right now i’m trying to get a grip of myself.

I wish i could be more determined in the things i do (generally, not just in dieting), but i often feel overwhelmed by the long path that lies ahead of me. Does anyone else get that feeling?

Lazy, that would be me in 1 word lately… I cannot get myself to move! Even if the day before i plan plenty of stuff to do, when i get to there i just prefer to nap or watch TV, and it drives me mad afterwards. Yesterday i had planned to go to the gym and get some golf practice done today, and ….. Nada!! I got home at 4pm from my appointment with the Kitchen-guy (finally chose a kitchen for my flat woohoo), ate 2 slices of watermelon and then went to lie on the bed with a book instead of going outside and enjoy a bit of sun. It’s pathetic. And i have the sneaky feeling that the less i do, the worse it gets, meaning i’m getting more and more lazy and moving less and less. Today the top excuse to not do anything was both my arms still aching from the injections, the left one is really swollen and painful but still i could have at least gone for a walk or whatever, but nope. Recently i have discovered a passion for napping, and hell does it not make me feel any better after, i tell ya… It actually makes me feel all drousy and sleepy and my face is all frumped up not nice.

Has anyone of you ever had something he/she wanted to do once they became “thinner”? I for example, would love to once be able to run a long distance on a regular basis, like 10k 3 times a week without feeling like my lungs are gonna jump out of my mouth and sweating like a giant elefant!! And at one moment, i really got into running and made it up to 7k at a decent speed but then i sprained an ankle and quit a few months ago and now i just can’t find the motivation to practically start from scratch again…. It was a huge effort and now it’s all gone and i have to do it all again, bummer!

Hm foodwise was not great either, after the Chinese Feast yesterday evening (i managed fine really, no fried stuff and good choices i thought but still alot of food) i vowed to get back on track today. You will notice that it all went well until the afternoon during our break time… Let’s see

crap crap crap!! It seems like lately all i do is snack on sweet stuff….

Saturday i will be playing a charity Golf tournament at one of these fancy golfclubs, am excited. And so i’m meeting a friend for a small round tomorrow afternoon, nice and eazzzzeeeee

Have a good night all….