That’s the question i’m asking myself lately……

Life’s been incredibly busy in the past couple of weeks. My trip to Hong Kong was awesome but went by in a blur then i got back and we closed the restaurant for 3 weeks to redo it entirely. Now we’re back open and running and it turned out beautiful!!! But i’ve been working every day since then and i’m exhausted after a little more than 2 weeks of that… Honestly i’m so tired and after about 10-12 hours on my feet i’m aching everywhere.

Everything’s going by so fast and i feel like i’m only a spectator and no longer the main actor! Dieting is not even a word to me anymore, i’ve even put on weight since 2 months ago. Which means right now i’m painfully close to the 100kg mark and only seeing the scale or my sad reflection in the mirror makes me cry… I feel incredibly lonely and ugly, i’m not that girl, i used to be confident and charming and not grumpy and self-conscious :(  To be totally honest, i feel like crap and i hate it… I have lost all control over my life in every perspective and it scares me. I want to get a grip and go running, have a drink at the pub with my friends, play golf etc.

Before i went to Hong Kong i’d decided that i wanted to sign up for courses at the Open University (long-distance learning) It feels like a challenge to me, i want to learn something new and i’m doing it for myself! I wish i could be so determined about my weight… So i’ll be starting a couple of introductory courses at Uni in a month, i’m excited about that, i think i’ll really enjoy it!

I’m sorry for the crappy post, honestly, but i’m just feeling real low lately. I’ll try and come back to the community slowly because i feel like i really could need some support here :) can you tell??

Anyway i’ll be back here soon with more news