Tiffany’s Journey

I am looking forward to WI tomorrow. Not really sure why, and I haven’t showed much, if any progress on my home scale this week. It stinks when things slow down even though you are literally working your butt off. I am trying not to get too discouraged as I know that will not help the situation at all.

I do, however, have a NSV to share… I went shopping yesterday and bought a pair of nice fitting 10 jeans, because the 12s were too big! YAY! Now I only have one more size to go until I am in those 8’s that I soooo long for. Why 8 you ask? Because its in the high end of the single digits and I wanna be in a single # in pants again! It will be the first time in a long time, too! I may keep going once I get there, but for now, 8’s and 150 is where I wanna be!

Morning Scale Reading: 167.5

I lost 1.5 again this week. Not bad, but not GREAT! I think I am spoiled by all those weeks of 5lbs, 4lbs, and 3.5lb losses in one week. But, as long as the number is going in the right direction, which would be DOWN, I can’t complain too much. The only thing is, I have really worked HARD this week exercising. I have jogged atleast 4 days for 2-4 miles and also stayed OP, with the exception of last night.

 I had a very weak moment. I had starved myself all day because we just had a lot going on and I didn’t have time to cook or even set down and eat that evening. I ate lunch around 1 and when I got home from DD’s ballgame at 7:30 I was famished. I cooked grilled chicken with a back potato and corn, which wasn’t bad. But while I was waiting for that to cook I ate 3pts worth of baked lays and if that isn’t bad enough, after dinner I ate about 3 table spoons of regular peanut butter and THEN 5 minature reece cups! YES, BAD!! I know I went over atleast 15 points but I just went crazy. I have never done that since being on WW, and am very mad at myself.  I went to bed feeling sick and ashamed and vowed to never do that again!

So this week, I am going to stay completely OP, and even try to leave a few left over at the end of the day and see if that helps my weight loss progress any. I know WW doesn’t recommend it, but I think that normally during the day I am not as active as I should be to earn those 2 extra activity points, based on how busy I am during the day. My website and ebay sales have really kept me busy and I’m not doing as much running around. I mostly set at my desk and sew for the first half of the day, now.

 Morning Scale Reading: 170.5  —- WW Meeting Reading: 169.5

This morning… I finally seen the 160’s appear on my scale! Now you would think that would make me happy, but I still feel as if I am not progressing quite as fast as I would have liked this month. I normally average around 10lbs a month, and right now the month is almost over and I am right at 5lbs lost for this month! BOO! I know I know. You think I should suck it up and be quiet. I mean, afterall, thats not bad at all. But it makes me feel as if I am cheating or not doing something right, and I feel just a little bit more guilty when I decide to have that ice cream at the end of the day. Maybe if I didn’t have it, I would have lost .5 more last night. Ya know? lol

On another note… I finally cleaned out my closet yesterday. I had gotten to the point that I didn’t have a single empty hanger left, and I actually had to wait until I dirtied some clothes before I could hang the clean ones up. This closet cleanout was way overdue! So section by section, I took down jeans, tees, skirts, and tried them on. 85% of the jeans in my closet fell right off!! I mean OFF!! It was a great feeling! I have a huge stack in the floor, probably 20 pair, that are NEVER going to fit again, mostly size 16’s and 14’s. I am just debating what in the world to do with them. They are mostly Old Navy, American Eagle, stuff like that. Not cheap jeans by any means. I hate to donate them, because our local donation shop has a few workers with a bad reputation of stealing out the good clothes and selling them on ebay to make money for themselves. I do not want to do that!! I would just go off! And I don’t want to put them in a tote and store them for the “future” so I’m not really sure what to do with them. I know I don’t ever want to be that size again…. but…. I have three HUGE garbage bags full of shirts, sweaters, jackets, etc. to donate, but I just can’t part with the jeans for some reason. Maybe I will sell them on ebay myself.

I have a canopy bed, and when I would take all the clothes off the hangers, I would hang the hanger up on my canopy rail. By the time I was finished, I had hangers going all the way across the top of my bed, and they were crammed in there too!! When my DH came home from work, I said “well, do you know what all those hangers represent?” “he said what… and I said “they represnt an artile of clothing I am going to have to go buy to put on them… you know, ones that fit.” lol

I read an artile the other day that said you are more likely to be overweight if you have a cluttered house, and if you keep you house clean and clutter free, you are more likely to be thin and have a nice healthy active lifestyle… so I am in the process of kicking the clutter!

Morning Scale Reading: 169.5

I have fallen victim to the blt’s! Yes, me! For the past week, maybe longer, I have been taking little innocent bites, licks, and tastes of random things, from chicken nuggets to cake, to whatever else. I don’t know what has gotten into me.  I think, I know I shouldn’t be doing this, but one little bite shouldn’t hurt. YA RIGHT! My progress has slowed down over these past few weeks, and I know that has something to do with it for sure!

I vow here and now NO MORE blts! AT ALL! If I bite it, I write it! And I also vow to leave the bad stuff alone and limit myself to only one “junk food” per day within point. I was hoping to lose atleast 2.5 at the next WI so that I can meet my 35lb mark, and right now I am halfway through the week with a possible loss of about .5. LOL, so I am going to have to work!!!

 Morning Scale Reading: 170.5

I know I haven’t been posting as much as before, or probably as much as I should be. Please don’t consider this a lack of modivation.  I am still 110% motivated, that is basically why I haven’t been on here so much. The weather is finally warming up and I can get outside and walk, jog, work in my flower beds, lay out in the sun, play with my girls….and just enjoy being in the sunshine v/s setting in the house on a computer all day. I have had Spring Fever bad, and I am so glad that it’s finally here!

My weight loss is still going great! I’m down 1.5 this week, with a goal of 2.5 next week so that I can reach my 35lb mark! Wow, 35 pounds! Who would have thunk it? lol I do, however feel that I am past that initial feeling-skinny-cause-I’ve-lost-a-little-weight-syndrome, and I am just not happy with what I am seeing when I look in the mirror. I still feel huge! I know that I still have a good 20lbs to go before getting to the weight I feel that I will be most comfortable at. (around 150) but on a good note, I only have 11 to go to reach my WW goal weight (160) and to be considered in the healthy BMI range! Several people, especially my Dad, is really on my case about not losing any more weight. He says I have lost too much as it is, and that if I lose any more, I won’t look good. My Mom agrees, and so does the rest of my family. When I tell them how much I STILL weigh and where I want to be, they look at me in disbelief and say “you CAN’T weigh that much!” Then after they realize I am telling the truth, they quickly say “well, you sure don’t look like it, and if you lose any more you are going to look sick” or something kinda like that. Why can’t people understand that I don’t want to be “skinny” I just want to be healthy and like what I see when I look in the mirror. My vision of myself at a nice, healthy size is not rail thin! I have always been kinda curvy, especially up top, and I don’t want to alter myself so much that I loose the person that I am. Ya know? But I would like to loose a little more belly before I am done. My husband has no opinion whatsoever, and tells me I look good no matter what. I don’t know if thats just the supportive phrase he feels he needs to offer me, or if he really means it, but he provides absolutely no statement on how much further I should go. lol

 On another note, I have been kicking my butt jogging this week. I am slowly building up to running that mile outside, and I am almost there! Its fun to realize that I can make it so much further than I could have a month ago, and I know another month from now I will only be going that much more! I do have a goal that I would like to reach, of jogging 3 miles in a couple of months, but I am not going to beat myself up if I don’t achieve it. I know eventually I will get there.

Morning Scale Reading: 170.5

So yesterday had the potential to be a great day. I had a luncheon to go to in the afternoon and was determined to make healthy choices no matter  what. To my surprise, when I arrived I seen that we were going to start off with a salad…and that the main dish was grilled chicken with green beans. Of course, thats a great! We had a little fruit buffet which I also had to dig into! So all was well, I had only spent about 7-8 points max… and then comes dessert. We had keylime pie, coconut cake, and carrot cake to choose from. So I set there thinking, “Ok… you don’t really need any… but lunch did turn out being lighter than I expected it to be, so maybe just a little” I knew that a regualr piece of Birthday Cake was 12 points, and so I thought surely carrot cake won’t be as bad as that. I walk up the the table and (just like my old self) I choose the prettiest piece with lots of icing. Now what I should have done is ate a few bites and let that be it… no. Ten minutes later the entire piece of cake was gone and I was setting there thinking I cannot believe I just ate that.

 I got home, starting calculating my points… open my book to look up carrot cake and OMGOODNESS!! 16 FREAKIN points for one piece of 3in x 3in cake! and mine was probably a 4in x 3in!!! So I’m thinking atleast 20-22 points just for dessert!

 I have never been so ashamed! I could not believe I let a weak moment determine the rest of my day, and possibly the rest of my week! I walked about 3 miles after that, and jogged 40 minutes tonight, so I think I am doing all that I possibly can to counteract the cake! LOL

 I hope to have at least a 1pound loss this week, but we will see.

 Morning Scale Reading: 171.5

That was my loss for this week… and all I have to say is THANK GOODNESS! After my NO LOSS last week, I really needed it too! So now I am technically only 12.5lbs away from being at what WW considers a normal weight. According to the papers they handed out at the first meeting, 160 is the highest acceptable weight for my height. But according to other things I have looked at, my healthy weight is more like 150-135. So I don’t know what to do. I don’t think another 12.5 is gonna put me where I wanna be…. so do I keep losing or stop? What would you do??

YAY! I think I have lost about 2 pounds at least. I say “think” because you never can be to sure with my crazy scale… but I do see that the 160’s are not so terribly far away anymore. I am really in shock….truly! I can’t believe that I am almost at my highschool weight. Not much more to talk about tonight… just thought I’d share…

 Morning Scale Reading: 173.5

…at the end of the tunnel! Yay! LOL But just because I can see it, doesn’t mean I am even close to it, now does it? My morning weigh in was 174.5 which I was completely estatic about! I took a few minutes to browse through the closet this AM and practically none of my jeans fit anymore. They all look like clown pants. I have about 5 pair of jeans (all of which I have bought recently or had from way back when) that fit ok. I have been ordering a few pair online, but I don’t want to go too overboard because I know I may very well go down another size or two before I get to goal.

I have actually went and bought me some cute little tank tops and I’m not having issues with my arms looking huge anymore. They still have a way to go, and need to be toned for sure, but they don’t look “swolen” anymore or puff out from my body like they use to. My legs have always been kinda chicken looking anyway compared to the rest of my body. LOL I’d like to tone up my inner thighs a little but other than that I am good. My MAJOR issue is my tummy. Always has been, probably always will be! I just am not achieving that hour glass figure that I so desire. However, looking back I have never had that shape, nor does any of the women in my family. We are all kinda straight up and down with no butt, a poochy tummy, and big boobs!

I have pretty much decided though that after I get to goal, I will more than likely go and have a tummy tuck. I know, I know! LOL My Mom has already freaked. I haven’t told my hubby yet, I know he’ll freak too, but Im pretty sure thats what I am going to do. I can already see that with my tummy shrinking, the skin is a little looser, and I’ve been told that no matter how much I exercise, there is nothing I can do about that. I’m sure that if I concentrated on some great core exercises I could tone it up, which is what I am planning to do eventually, once I get rid of a little more of this fat. But I just can’t discount the option to be completely remade without the stretchmarks that haunt my lower tummy. They aren’t that bad, really you can hardly see them, but I can and thats all  that matters to me.

 Ok, enough rambling for one afternoon. LOL

 Morning Scale Reading: 174.5

I didn’t lose any weight this week. Nope, not one ounce!! But I am honestly not that surprised. Yes, I did stay OP, but I only exercised once (OK, what happened to my three day a week couch to 5k program PLUS other stuff?… well I don’t exactly know!) Being that I lost 4 lbs last week, and 5lbs the week before, I am still averaging well above normal. Also, it’s TOM, and although I have heard that it causes weight “gain” and bloating I didn’t experience it the last two months during WI. Please someone tell me they have a slight gain or stay the same during the TOM, and that next week I will be back to losing. LOL Actually, I think this must have just been a cursed week altogether for everyone! Not one single person at our meeting lost anything…. most gained a pound! And that is very unusual because we usually average a 25-30lb loss per meeting total! Maybe there was something wrong with the scales… (yes, we will call it that…a technical error)

 It’s ok, I took a deep breath and shook it off. It will only make me try harder this week. I exercised tonight… 25 minutes on the treadmill. I alternated 2m of walking with 3m of running, so I think I did pretty good. I had worked up a good little sweat. Although I am not sticking to the couch to 5 k like I would have liked, I still think I am a little advanced for the first weeks workouts, so I am upping them a little. It should only help me, right…? I would think so anyway.

Morning Scale Reading: 176