I want to be an Asterisk*

I remember one day I wanted lunch and thought that since I had been doing so well on my weight loss journey, I would get a Big Mac.  I literally had the angel and the devil whispering in my ear.  The devil was saying how I deserved it…how I had been so good…the angel on the other hand had me look around. While sitting in the very long line, I noticed (unlike the McDonald’s commercials) not one skinny person walked in or out of McDonalds.  I got out of that line and went to Subway.

Does anyone else out there have similar experiences? 

I remember one day I wanted Chipotle (owned by McDonalds if you didn’t know).  I used to eat at Chipotle on a regular basis before WW.  After I heard my Burrito Bowl was a 24 point lunch, not to mention the chips and guacamole I love so dearly, I had a hard time returning.  I decided one day that I really deserved to have a burrito bowl, only to drive around the parking lot three times, leave and go home for lunch.  I’ve found that my black bean salsa wraps helps fight that urge.

While sitting eating my breakfast which consisted of vanilla yogurt with a handful of granola and fresh blackberries I began thinking about how much I have changed since my healthy weight loss journey. Two years ago I never would have dreamed of eating such a yummy breakfast. I probably would have stopped at White Castle with my son and picked up a couple of breakfast sandwiches, potato rounds and a large coffee with extra cream. I wonder why I was out of control?

And Valentine’s Day? Geez. Bring on the box of chocolate! Fattening dinner out…maybe a decadent desert. Then the guilt.

 Below are six things that have changed about me since I began my Healthy Weigh-loss Journey in January 2007. WW is correct in saying, if you do not make it a lifestyle change, you will only fail in the end.

1. Labels – I always look at the label before I buy or before I eat. It may take longer at the grocery but I decided over a year ago I was going to take control over what went into my body.

2. Hunger Signals – I pay close attention to my hunger signals. If I am hungry at an odd time (say shortly after I eat or late in the evening) I try to determine if I am truly hungry or just tired, lonely, etc. Being tired is a big hunger trigger for me.

3. Weigh Scales – I weigh myself almost every day. I know that some people say that doing this is counter productive because the scale can be very fickle but it has helped me determine what certain food does to my body. For example, Chinese Food tends to put an additional 5 lbs on me for at least a day. That realization made me lower my sodium intake (and my Chinese food intake, although I still enjoy it from time to time).

4. Fruit – Although I have always enjoyed fruit, I didn’t eat much fruit as a snack. I enjoyed seeing it sit on the table but it was usually thrown out because it went bad. Seldom is fruit thrown out now. My children eat more fruit as well.

5. Cheese – I was bordering on becoming a cheese-aholic. My boyfriend knew to keep a deli drawer full of cheese for me. At one time I honestly thought cheese was healthy. I had never really looked at the calories or fat in cheddar. I remember the first day I joined WW. For breakfast, I thought I would kick the program off (before I went to my first meeting) by eating cheese and a hard boiled egg for breakfast. I was just ignorant. That is the last time I had that particular breakfast. I remember too that was what was so appealing about Adkins. I couldn’t do Adkins. I like pasta too much.

6. Meat – I have found that now I can live on 2 oz of meat a day. Sometimes I eat more. Who can turn down Flo’s fillet at Long Horn? I used to think I would have issues with my protein intake if I didn’t eat a lot of meat. Now I realize it isn’t that important as long as I get it from another source or I only eat very lean meat.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!  If you fall of the wagon tonight, jump right back on tomorrow!

In this post, Roni asked us do we use Artificial sweetners.   My answer is Yes.

I use a small amount in my coffee, I use it to sweeten my tea and a little on my cereal.  I drink one diet soda a day.

I remember when I read this article on MSNBC last week (Lab Study Ties Artificial Sweeteners to Weight Gain), I shook my head in disbelief.  The first thing I noticed was the use of Saccarin   Researchers have been dogging saccarin for as long as I can remember.  I remember the warnings on cans of TAB when I was younger, saying it was known to cause cancer in lab rats (which, last I looked, I didn’t have pink eyes and a tail). 

This article on FDA’s website was very interesting even though it is from 1999.  I have decided that I am not going to let this controvery deter me from enjoying a glass of tea or soda and sweeting my cereal.  I think if you go to McDonalds and order a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, Large Fries and a Diet Coke, and are using the Diet Coke to keep your calories down to not feel guilty about the calories and fat in the meal, maybe that is the target group this study refers.  I don’t use sweetener for that reason.  I just happen to like my food to have a small amount of sweet.

 Thanks for the question, Roni.

Cigarettes have been proven to cause cancer (as we all know) and they still continue to be sold to the public.  Salt in foods causes high blood pressure.  In my opionion, more people will die next year from products containing peanuts, than from gaining weight from saccarin.

I was sitting at a WW meeting last friday.  I weighed in at 138 even which put me down .6 from last time I weighed at 138.6.  The scale lady (Glinda) gave me that look.  Some of you fellow maintainers know the look…the you-are-12-pounds-below-your-goal-weight look.  So I give her my standard response, “I am still at a healthy BMI and am thinking about changing my goal weight to 140″.  They give me the “Change your Goal Weight” form, a smirk and send me on my way.

If WW is really into this “Stop Dieting, Start Living” mentality…if they are truly into this being a lifestyle change…why do I feel guilty every time I weigh in?  If you are a maintainer, you know what I mean.  It is so much easier to continue eating the “healthy lifestyle” food, than it is to splurge, then diet, splurge, then diet. 

I’ve started attending the meetings again…a friend of mine just had a baby and wants to lose the weight again.  I really enjoy the meetings but wish I could get more out of how to maintain my weight.  I do okay but I continue to lose because I am afraid if I eat what I want, I will gain the weight again.  How do you explain that at the scales?  How do you sit in a room full of people who are trying their hearts out to lose weight and say “geez, I just can’t seem to get out of the diet mode?”

I did find a nice 100 calorie snack…

I love Little Debbie Nutty Bars so when I saw these couldn’t resist.  They are 100 calories and 6 grams of fat.  They aren’t as thick as a regular Nutty Bar but that was okay.  It gave me that Nutty Bar happiness!

Or maybe I will…Yesterday was great until the neighbor came over with a couple of bottles of wine.  The wine tasting began and when the kids begged me to make apple crisp, I wasn’t in my right mind to say no.  Hince, the list below.  I am only going to give myself 27 for yesterday however.  I walked almost three miles in 40 minutes so I am giving myself 2 points for that. 

Target - 19
Used  - 27
Flex used - 8 of 35

….so I went to work in my PJ’s!!! 

 All kidding aside, working from home definately has it’s advantages.  If I wake up a little late, I get the kids out the door and take a shower and get dressed around 10:00 AM. 

Weighin yesterday was a bit early.  I want to get in the habit of weighing in on Fridays but was in the area yesterday to have lunch with a friend (see disaster Applebee’s Thursay food journal) and I was at 139.8.  Woo Hoo!  That is below 140 which is where I like to stay. 

I couldn’t believe when I went in for the soup and salad and as the server was walking away I heard myself say, “I’d like an order of Onion Rings.”  Geez.  Me and my compulsion of salty fried.  I can turn down the chocolate any day but put some onion rings in front of me and I am doomed.

Maybe Roni can come up with a squash that tastes like friend onion rings.

I wanted to stay at 20 but 21 isn’t too bad.  I shouldn’t have had the last beer and am not quite sure if it was actually 2pts in granola or 1.  I feel like it was a good day, though.

My 20 year reunion is next summer.  I want to be sure and not gain the weight.

I hope everyone has an OP day.

I guess you could say I missed this.  I have been working from home for the past so you would think that I had a lot of time on my hands to journal.  Sadley to say, that is untrue.

I do seem to find the time to eat more.  Being at home, I have the whole pantry to myself, whereas at work, I only had the few snacks that I would bring in.  Healthy snacks, mind you.  Because I have so many children, there is all kinds of not-so-good-for-you to down right high-fat, high-sugar foods everywhere.  I still have a ton of Halloween candy.

I thought that if I started back here again, I, like Roni, would have the support of being totally honest with my daily choices.  No more lurking at Roni’s Journal and saying to myself, “Go update your blog.”

Another bad situation is my scale is broken and I was told not to buy another because someone is getting me one for Christmas.  DLAH!!! What if it isn’t digital?  What if it isn’t accurate?  What if I gain 40lbs this month because I didn’t hop on the scale every morning?  Okay, I know that won’t happen but I am freaking out here.

 My last official weigh was 140.4 which is right around where I like to stay.  That was a week ago.  I think I am going to go weigh next week and see what Mr. Scale says.  Especially since I won’t have my “at-home” scale until after the holidays.

Newsflash!  Testicles Tested As Stem Cell Source…and it took them how long to realize that men may have more stem cells in their testicles than in their brain?  Women have been saying this for years! 

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/09/20/health/main3280378.shtml

Yesterday, I faced the music.  I am a horrible bass player.  And if anyone knows me, that was a hard thing to admit.  So I called my former band buddy and he suggested I practice my scales.  Guess I will try that.  I started my musical journey reading music and my head won’t allow me to not read music. 

The weekend was super crazy.  With the festival, yard sale at Mom’s, date night Saturday night, church, then band practice Sunday night, I am totally beat.  This week isn’t much better.  Skating with the kids tonight, Speech and Drama meeting for my Senior tomorrow, open house with my son’s kindergarten teacher on Thursday and a performance on Saturday.   

I can’t wait for the skating party tonight.  I have so much fun roller skating with the kids.  Not to mention it is great exercise. J 

Friday marked six weeks until the office closes.  After that I will be working from home.  There were only three of us in the office today because the people that are losing their jobs have to use their vacation time before October 26^th.  You can hear a pin drop around here. 

Not only do I feel like a horrible bass player right now, I am also somewhat of a dummy.  I was meeting my former band member to go practice for something that is coming up over the weekend.  He said to meet at Panera Bread and I could follow him to another guys house (where the practice was going to be held).  Long story short, I saw him in his truck, talking on his cell when I pulled into the parking lot.  I pulled in a spot and hopped out of my car, expecting to tell him I would just follow him there.  He got out of his truck and said he wanted to go in and get a cup of coffee.  So I ran to my car, grabbed my purse and walked into the restaurant.  Twenty or twenty-five minutes later, I returned to my car and noticed it was running, unlocked and the keys were in the ignition.  Geez.  I guess you would call that a lucky moment. One other side note.  I follow my weight very closely and noticed that the Chinese food I ate on Saturday night had me post a five pound gain the next morning.  That is CRAZY!  Today, I had lost the five and am glad I know my body well enough to realize the Chinese food would do that to me.  Does that do that to anyone else out there?