Simply for me

One of my friend put that quote on her MSN profile… well said.

This week was good. I haven’t eat overboard and had 3 social events in restaurant! So, I’m really proud (esp. Wednesday night where we were at one who serves my all-time favorite Brownies and didn’t get any. Two people were even eating them beside me and  they didn’t even look that attrative (the brownies, of course.). On the psychology level, it shows me that I’m strong and really focusing. Plus, I lost the 2 pounds I had gain over the last few weeks. It’s all good I read my little book where I note everything that I eat and overall, I eat nutritious meals, it’s the snacks I need to watch out. All these snacks claimed to be nutritious because-only-have-100-calories aren’t as healthy as eating a apple. Point to the line. Here and there they are ok and when I do have a chocolate craving, instead of eating a whole bar. But not on a regular basis - I’m trying to convince myself here, can you tell?

I was able to walk from the office a few times this week and that makes me feel so good.  This week, I’m hitting the elliptical machine again.

Some friends are coming over for dinner.  I can’t wait! Plus I finally got a big table (we were still using the small round table that was perfect when we were living in a appartment and where 4 people eating at that table was a crowd.)

Wishing you a good Saturday to you all (if I have some readers! hihi)

xxx

So, I’m still alive Diet wise in February, I just didn’t concentrate on it. My mind wasn’t into it - I only gain 2 pounds, which is good considering.  I haven’t exercise much, except my walk with the dog when it wasn’t snowing, raining, windy/cold. We have a crazy winter this year but at least we are having one (the last 2 winter, we didn’t get any snow (in Canada!) which was sad and boring.

So, things weren’t going as well as I expected in January. So I took some time off from the diet thing. I had WAY too much on my mind. I needed to clear out things in my head first. There was too many drama around me, negativety, stress and people complaining so I did a major clean up. 

In January I told you about a crisis with a friend, well, it’s not over. Someone got inlvolved, who shouldn’t be involved and he just can’t stop talking about me (yep, a HE, so not only SHE can be bitchy. lol). I just ignored him and did my things and people just kept telling me and warning me about his behaviour. So I starting to think about it and well, it’s not my fault if he has too many hours on his hand or if his gilfriend is too boring and he needs talk about me. There is nothing I can do or say and I don’t want to do or say anything to prove him wrong. I’m not going to lose time trying to convince him, while he means nothing for me, that I’m not the kind of person he claims I am. He wants to believe that, good for him. People who want to believe him without knowing me, good. Your lost. I don’t need you  (I must add that he is a colleague of mine, so at first it was pretty hard, I didn’t even get out of my cubicule to go to the bathroom! It was good for the diet though since I only ate salad for not having to go to the lunch room to heat my lunch.. heheh) 

And it was hard convincing me, but little bit by little bit, I started to feel better and well, people who never talked to me before started to come over to tell me what he was saying and how all they think he is a drama queen, a big baby (he’s 36!) and they are all happy to finally see him for what he is really. So, now I’m having new friends. Amazing how it turned out. (You can guess that he is even more mad now. lol).

In all that, 2 of my friends left the office to start a new job. They quit the same day and they didn’t know the other one was quitting also. But for 2 weeks before evertything was sure with their other job, I was their sponge and they just kept coming in my cubicle one after another. It was insane. It was a very stressfull situation.  I was very sad too.

Now, the first week just went by without them, and as much as I don’t like to admit it, the environment is better for me at work. Obviously, they didn’t like their job so what do you think they were doing? Of course, bitching about our employeur/work.  Until this week, I haven’t realized how much it was putting weight on my shoulders.  Oh and believe me, all those new “friends”, I tell them from the beginning that I’m not  the type of person who likes to sit around complaning AND I don’t like to lose time at work. They all understand so it’s a quick hello/fun chit chat and we all go back to work. (One even thank me for giving her a positive environment at work. that was nice!).

By Thursday, my closest friend told me he was seeing something different about me and couldn’t put his fingers on it (and we are close enough so he told me it wasn’t the pounds since I wasn’t loosing them. lol). That comment of his was all I needed to realized I was on the right track and way much happier.

No wonder I couldn’t put set my mind on the diet. I was all stress out/sad/angry and it wasn’t just too much. I didn’t realized how bad all that negativety was affecting me.

So today is a brand new start.  I believe I can do this and if I have nothing good to say, I won’t post it. I want to concentrate on the positive things in my life. I have everything to be happy; I need to focus on that. But I’ll be honest and will keep writing if I’m gaining or things aren’t going well…:)

This week has been completely insane. I went through alot of emotions (positives and negatives ones) and finished the week with a major migraine.  But, I feel good in general. I lost 0,5 pound this week, which is ok.  Somebody asked me if I had lost weight lately, so that made me happy :)  I know I feel better physically and mentally, which is what I want to achieve this time.  The crisis with my friend isn’t over… well, we talked and took all the blame so that it could be over (but I know now that I won’t be as friend with her, I just didn’t like the negative situation with her…) but later I find out that MANY people stood behind her and now apparently I’m a total b****.  I was mad/sad/angry at first, but I soon realized that, no matter what I do, I cannot be liked by everyone and esp. that people will think of me what they want to think and if people I barely know listen to these people who are talking in my back, well, they are not worth it and it’s their lost. I don’t have time for this and I don’t want to have time for this… I felt like I was back in high school these past weeks…!!

Over all that, I’m proud of my reaction: I didn’t go over food and just let them panicking on their own and I moved on.  I know now who are my real friends and I know who I want around me.  If all this would have happened just a few months ago, I would still be crying and trying to make everyone happy, I would eat and just be depressed. I walk with my head up in the air and do my things. Like my best bud always say “Life’s a bitch”. LOL

I hope everybody is enjoying their Superbowl weekend This year, we aren’t hosting a party or go to a party, it’s just the 2 of us (me and my bf) cozzy on the couch :)  Since the new house, we just like to stay home alone and be together. It brought us even closer (we were close before, don’t get the wrong idea). I’m allowing myself to eat nachos and chicken wings tomorrow night…it will be home made so it won’t be THAT bad

xxx

 I don’t understand why some people don’t like animals. They bring so much into our human life! Yeah, my new hard floor is already all scratch, I need to vacuum more often because of the fur, I can’t leave the house for the whole day because of the dog… but it’s nothing compared to the joy and happiness they give me. No matter if I had a bad day at work, the dog is happy to see me and the 2 cats are fighting over whom I should pet first. It’s a great feeling. No explication; no compromise; they love us and they need us (well, the dog does! As for the cats… you all know how cats are. hehe).

So, Sandy loves snow (for a boxer, it’s rare!) but she gets cold and her paws hurt. So, we decided to buy her snow shoes and a coat. Well, I had to make a deal with the bf since he didn’t want his dog with boats and in a coat (I wanted a pink one). So he said ok for the boots IF he could chose the coat. I should have thought before I said yes because he went and bought a hockey jersey - Ottawa Senators..not even the right team (I’m more a Montréal Canadiens fan). I don’t remember the last time we laugh so hard; Sandy doesn’t like the shoes. not at all. She didn’t want to walk, she was just standing there. It was priceless to say her walk with those at first.  Tonight, I finally had my first attempt outside (she didn’t want to get out of the house with them in her feet. lol) and it took me like 5 min to get out of the driveway, laughing so hard… but I think she realized it was for her own good and started walking all happy. That made my day.  Here’s a picture of her, she’s truly a Canadian dog now

I forgot in my post earlier that I also got through my first PMS ever since I started back my healthy lifestyle. It went though smooth and without disaster!!

AND my friend who went home in France for the holidays was back this week and she brought me many boxes of cookies that are just D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S! And I managed to wait until last night to eat two!! I could hear them talking to me since Monday, but I waited (Friday and Saturday nights I treat myself with what my program called “Cheat Meal”) and they were even more delicious because I didn’t feel any guilt eating them

Voilà!  

First, I’m pleased to announce I’m -1 again this week. I wasn’t sure if I was too happy, but after a few minutes, I did a resume of my last 3 weeks and I’m pretty pleased with what I have accomplished so far: What used to be 6 cups of coffee a day is now a few cups a week (that I don’t even drink entirely) and it’s my first attempt to cut coffee without any symptoms, so that is a real big plus!  I’m exercising more than I ever did and really enjoying it. And for once, I’m putting myself first.

So this week was weird. Felt like everything I was trying, was a fail. Nothing major though, just little things that kept piling up; I kinda laugh about it though… it was one of those week where you wish you slept it all through.  At work, I was forgetting things, making tiny mistakes that I don’t usually do… I locked the cat in the closet, I forgot my shoes at home so I was stuck with my big boots in my feet all day at the office, I forgot to give breakfast to my dog…see the pattern? LOL I have dark hair but my bf always say that I have blond roots (sorry to all the blonds out there! hihihi). 

I had my first night of insomnia in over 2 months last night though. That suck. Luckily this morning wasn’t a week day, so I managed to lay on the couch to try to get more sleep, but all I did was resting my eyes.  I’m way too stress and everything spins in my head (the bills, the job, the new house, will I’ll have kids, should I listen my heart for once and not my head and go to NY like I’ve always dream of…All things like that.)  I’ve been told that my stress could be the cause of why I’m not losing as fast even though I do everything by the book.

I should be working right now, it’s already noon but I’m dreaking my tea, still in my pj, looking outside of my window hoping to see a hear or a deer jumps out of the woods behind my house. I see their trails they leave in the snow, so I’m hoping to see them one day I like this calmness… but I should get going.

Talk to you later and go outside take some fresh (cold) air

After more than a week away from the elliptical, I got back on it tonight and I’m just dead, but I feel so good.  I need to remember this feeling tomorrow night.  It’s way too cold to go outside (- it’s -30 C [don’t know the F degrees] but believe me, it’s dawm cold. Want a proof? Sandy escaped from the house this afternoon…instead of just running away, she rushed back in the house. LOL ) Actually, my boyfriend and I went for a walk last night and we were alone in the streets. We mostly ran instead of walking since it was too cold.  Sandy liked it (running)…. but running is way too hard for me. lol

A friend congratulated me that for once in my life, I stood up and said outloud how I felt (see Friday post). I’m usually the nice quiet girl who puts everyone else infront of her needs and I’m the one after who ends up hurt - which is the main reason why I eat.  So I said what i had on my mind and I was shock to find out that it’s true, I was able to move on.    I said that this year I wasn’t going to take any sh** from anyone. People who didn’t believe me, well, now they do :)   I’m turning 30 this year and apparently, it’s a normal process in the 30-crisis… Anyone who went through that crisis could confirmed it?

Talk to you later!

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I feel much better today. I haven’t heard from my “friend” but I have move on. Shit happens and I said what I had on my mind, so that’s why I can move on.

And it is such a beautiful day out, it’s hard to not have a smile on your face. Even though I didn’t have the time to just take it easy this morning, I took it easy. I woke up at 9 (which is pretty late for me!), ate a yummy breakfast (cereal and add fresh blueberries. mmmmm) and took time to drink my Lemon green tea while reading the newspaper. Sandy was sleeping under the sun, I had a cat on me sleeping and the other cat at my feet. I was in heaven.

But now I have to hurry if I want to sleep again this weekend. LOL

I’m thinking too to exercise in the morning BEFORE going to work (I start at 7:30) so that would mean I would have to wake up really early but I’m thinking about it.  On the bonus side, when I do exercise, I don’t want to ruin’ it by eating something I shouldn’t so that’s my main motivation for starting to work out in the morning. I’ll let you know if I had the courage to wake up at 5:30 MOnday morning. Heheheh

Later