“new” pants…and a serious dilemma…
Posted by Kristi on May 6th, 2008
Yeah so this morning I tried on an old “new” pair of pants…and they fit…a little lose but not lose enough. Why aren’t you jumping up and down for joy you ask? Because they are a LARGER pair of old “new” pants…a size that I haven’t worn in over 2 years. What am I doing? I swear! It’s like I can do so amazing during the week but throw me one curve ball and I’ll throw all success to the wind. I know that I’m doing it when I do it too, that’s the bad thing. It’s not like its something I do unconsciously and then I regret it after the fact. I am mad at myself WHILE I am doing it but continue to do it anyways! I don’t understand me sometimes. How far do I have to slip? How much of the old weight do I have to regain before I wisen up and stop this stupid cycle?
I feel like a broken record when it comes this but TODAY IS A NEW DAY! Today is my day one. This philosophy is so fantastic, and it has really helped me in the past. I think I need to tattoo it to my hand or something so I don’t forget! I mean, no one said this was going to be easy. I think that secretly that’s been a problem for me. Let me explain - when I first joined WW over two years ago, the weight just DROPPED! It just fell off me. All I did was count my points, never went over and the weight came off. I wasn’t injured so I was able to exercise all the time, and I loved exercising so that wasn’t a problem. I never felt deprived, never felt like I was struggling to stay OP or be active and I lost 40lbs in the blink of an eye (on top of the 25lbs I had already lost on my own). It was just fantastic, amazing! I was IN LOVE with WW! Then for one reason or another my weight loss came to a halt and I slowly began to gain about half of it back over the past two years. And it’s like every day I actively count my points, every day I go for exercise - while I love the feel of it all - like I FEEL healthy inside and it makes me happy - it is NOT AT ALL easy like it was the first time. It’s freaking hard! I think somewhere in the back of my head, I keep thinking it’s going to become “easy” again. I’m just going to wake up and do it and I won’t feel deprived or like I’m struggling at all. But I really don’t think that’s ever going to happen again. I think the first time was a fluke, very circumstantial to things going on in my life at the time. I need to LET GO of that hope, that wish, because it IS NOT going to happen. It’s SO hard to do though because unlike how everyone always wishes it would just “drop off” and “magically disappear over night” I feel like that REALLY HAPPENED to me at one point so it just makes it that much harder. I don’t know how to let this notion go that one day it will be super easy again but I DO know that this is what is holding me back. So I guess my question is, how do I take something I KNOW and APPLY it to my life? *shrugs* Until I figure this out, I am stuck.
May 6th, 2008 at 1:06 pm
You know what…I don’t think you have your mind in the game. You can’t just focus on the weight loss and if it’s going too fast or too slow. You need to focus on doing things to become healthy and stay healthy. Maybe you are doing too much all at once…take smaller steps and focus on each small goal instead of looking too far ahead. I know it’s not how we all want it to work but sometimes you really just have to pick one small thing and get good at it before you move to the next. You remember making new habits. I have had great success but I only have been making myself do things in small steps…I find I fail very quickly if I try too much at once. It doesn’t matter if you look at things as day 1 or day 100 if you are not looking at it clearly….sit down make a list of short term and long term goals…put it somewhere so you see it everyday…my long term goal is to get healthy and to not have any long term problems that can be caused by extra weight or poor diet. Yes I am thrilled that the weight is coming off but it’s not the only reason that I eat right and exercise…I have many years ahead of me and I want them to be healthy and happy…and happy for me is not going to be determined by a number on a scale or a size in my jeans. Take the time to step back and re look at why you started this journey in the first place…if it is only for weight loss you may just be setting yourself up for failure because if that’s all you focus on and it’s not happening the way you like…you will not stay focused. I am on travel right now and I have been eating like crap…and my body feels it…but we all do what we can when we can…I try to make good choices and keep within my points. It’s not about always being perfect it’s about knowing that even if I am not perfect I am true to myself and making the best choices I can to meet my goals. You know we are here…don’t hesitate to ask for help…you are one of my favorite people here and I want to see you find you way….
May 7th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Hi Kristi,
I can totally relate with you on this topic. I once lost 30 pounds over a summer right before I started middle school. Now I was about 11 years old and was a girl not even a woman yet and had alot of “baby fat” to lose. I had set my mind to losing weight prior to entering middle school with fear of being ridiculed by my peers as I had been in elementary school. Well as the years went on puberty set in and I slowly began to gain the weight I had lost. For the next 10 years I constantly began a diet and failed always hoping it would be just as easy for me to lose those 30 pounds as it had been at age 11. The truth is that our bodies change and our mindset changes, what might have motivated us at that time may not be the same reasons we want to lose weight now. I think you have done a great job with your weight loss, and that is a huge accomplishment. Gaining and losing is a part of life for us women, just keep trying and take as many day one’s as you need until you get it. Hey everyday is a learning experience. Keep your chin up!
May 7th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
I SO understand where you are coming from. I feel like I could have written this post!. I first joined WW in 1999 and the weight seemed to just melt off (sometimes I wonder if maybe it was actually harder then I remember, but anyways) and this time around it just feels SO impossible some times. Hang in there- i’ve had a good few weeks after months (years?) of feeling it was impossible. There is hope, and when there isn’t, at least we have this community.
May 20th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
All i can say is i feel like i am reading my own post. i THOUGHT i would have been 30 pounds lighter for my florida beach trip this past week…that was figuring 2 pounds a week. Yeah..so that didnt happen..not even 5 pounds lighter than when i set that goal. it can be sooooooo frustrating! but we can do it, we can we can, this is our year.