Another Monday, my how time absolutely flies! I had an excellent weekend - and I actually was able to eat EXTREMELY well over the weekend too, despite the deliciously yummy food that was cooked. My Uncle is a phenomenal cook and it’s like the biggest treat to get to eat his cooking whenever we visit. I usually am tempted, as is my whole family, to stuff myself silly whenever we go because like I said, it’s a treat to get to eat his cooking (yes! it is THAT good!) and while this weekend was no exception - I NEVER finished my whole plate once! I ate until I was pleasantly full, not stuffed, sick to my stomach, need to lay down and take a nap, full! I completely consider that a NSV!!

I am super tired and super busy here at work and all I want to do is read you guys’ posts! haha…I need to catch up since I was gone all weekend long! I missed y’all! Am I just weird or do y’all miss the community too when you are gone? Because I always want to know how everyone is doing, who has accomplished what, what yummy recipes are being shared, etc. Some might call that nosy but I just call it missing my friends! haha

Also, I just want to say thank you for all the wonderful comments people leave either on specific blog posts or on the general comment wall. They really mean so much to me and it is so nice to know people not only read what you write but that they agree, disagree, find motivation in what you write, or can offer advice and help. It’s just the coolest thing! So thank you to anyone who has ever read my blog and who has ever commented before!

Finally, I have tons more to say (don’t I always?) but I do need to get back to work AND I also want to go read some other blogs while I can, BUT I wanted to wish all the mothers on here a Happy Belated Mother’s Day! I hope everyone got what they needed out of the weekend and their day! You all definitely deserve it!!

Until later!

until I can wake up in the morning and NOT think about food! I’ve been wanting to blog about this for some time but just put it off for some reason or always had something else more pertinent to write about. A fellow blogger’s post got me thinking about this again and I decided it was finally the perfect time to post about it!

I can NOT wait until I wake up in the morning and don’t think about breakfast, lunch or dinner. What to eat, what to pack, what to lay out to thaw. And it’s not even so much the preparation side of it that annoys me, I just hate that some of my first waking thoughts are about food. I want to find a time in my life where I just co-exist with food and it’s not an issue, it’s not a waking thought. It kind of makes me feel like my life is consumed by food. And while it’s not really consumed by food because, I wake up - fix my oatmeal and berries, prepare my lunch for work and then go get dressed; then get to work and get busy until I feel those hunger pains around 12:30 or 1pm and I usually don’t think about it in between; there are some days where I count up 4 hours from whenever I ate breakfast or lunch to find out when a good time to eat is, and sometimes I’m just waiting until the clock tells me it’s OK to eat. Thinking about food. I hate that!

I don’t know, as much as I do love food and enjoy eating it, I see the art in good food, blah blah blah - I sometimes wish I could just take a pill (not a diet pill) but like some food pill - like the chewing gum in Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and just have my food all at once, it’d be done with - I wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore! I could concentrate on all the million other things going on in my life besides food, lol. Ahhhh, a girl can dream can’t she?

Do any of y’all face the same issues? Food is just always there on your mind? Thank goodness I don’t dream about food! lol…THAT would just be too much!

EMOTIONS! You name the emotion, it’ll probably give me the desire to eat. Well that’s not entirely true. I don’t eat on my OWN (by myself) when I am happy or some form of happy, positive emotion. I only really eat when I am WITH people and feeling happy, positive emotions. However, I’ll eat on my own during ALL the negative emotions - boredom, loneliness, anger, frustration, exhaustion, sad, depressed, etc. Those are the ones I have to look out for - ESPECIALLY if I am alone!

It kind of sucks though because I am usually happy when I am with people and feeling the other negative emotions when I am alone - so it’s like either way, I’m in trouble! Fortunately, NO one around me ever encourages me to eat (well that’s not entirely true, I have one friend who can eat anything she wants and never gain a pound and she tends to always want me to indulge with her - but I have learned to say “no thank you!”) but for the most part, I don’t have to worry about people egging me on to eat, that peer pressure eating. The majority of the people around me eat healthy or are health conscious for that matter. So that’s a big help!

However, it’s also a help to be with people regardless of the emotion because unless other people are eating, I don’t like to eat! I usually don’t even have an appetite unless other people are eating and then I never out due anyone, I will just indulge right a long side them. So it’s funny how things work. If I always had something to do or always had someone around me, I think I’d be a skinny minny. Unfortunately for me though, I really do enjoy my alone time. But then again, there’s a difference in choosing to be alone and being happy alone and NOT wanting to be alone but being alone anyways. (OK my thoughts are ALL over the place today, I’m sorry if this post is hard to follow, lol).

But the long and short of it is that emotions cause me to (over)eat. Dang those emotions!

but I just wanted to say THANK YOU for all the support from this community, both on here and from weightwatchen.com! I was terribly frustrated the other day and with the help, advice, guidance, encouragement and support from y’all I have completely re-grouped - I feel stronger than ever with a plan that I feel SUPER confident in!

I’ve got two SOLID days in my pocket now, solid days that have already shown major pay off on the scale! I know I can do this and thank you to everyone for believing in me!

I’m going to post a more lengthy (yall know how I love to talk, lol) post tomorrow but I just wanted to say a quick thank you now! I hope everyone had a great AP day!

Yeah so this morning I tried on an old “new” pair of pants…and they fit…a little lose but not lose enough. Why aren’t you jumping up and down for joy you ask? Because they are a LARGER pair of old “new” pants…a size that I haven’t worn in over 2 years. What am I doing? I swear! It’s like I can do so amazing during the week but throw me one curve ball and I’ll throw all success to the wind. I know that I’m doing it when I do it too, that’s the bad thing. It’s not like its something I do unconsciously and then I regret it after the fact. I am mad at myself WHILE I am doing it but continue to do it anyways! I don’t understand me sometimes. How far do I have to slip? How much of the old weight do I have to regain before I wisen up and stop this stupid cycle?

I feel like a broken record when it comes this but TODAY IS A NEW DAY! Today is my day one. This philosophy is so fantastic, and it has really helped me in the past. I think I need to tattoo it to my hand or something so I don’t forget! I mean, no one said this was going to be easy. I think that secretly that’s been a problem for me. Let me explain - when I first joined WW over two years ago, the weight just DROPPED! It just fell off me. All I did was count my points, never went over and the weight came off. I wasn’t injured so I was able to exercise all the time, and I loved exercising so that wasn’t a problem. I never felt deprived, never felt like I was struggling to stay OP or be active and I lost 40lbs in the blink of an eye (on top of the 25lbs I had already lost on my own). It was just fantastic, amazing! I was IN LOVE with WW! Then for one reason or another my weight loss came to a halt and I slowly began to gain about half of it back over the past two years. And it’s like every day I actively count my points, every day I go for exercise - while I love the feel of it all - like I FEEL healthy inside and it makes me happy - it is NOT AT ALL easy like it was the first time. It’s freaking hard! I think somewhere in the back of my head, I keep thinking it’s going to become “easy” again. I’m just going to wake up and do it and I won’t feel deprived or like I’m struggling at all. But I really don’t think that’s ever going to happen again. I think the first time was a fluke, very circumstantial to things going on in my life at the time. I need to LET GO of that hope, that wish, because it IS NOT going to happen. It’s SO hard to do though because unlike how everyone always wishes it would just “drop off” and “magically disappear over night” I feel like that REALLY HAPPENED to me at one point so it just makes it that much harder. I don’t know how to let this notion go that one day it will be super easy again but I DO know that this is what is holding me back. So I guess my question is, how do I take something I KNOW and APPLY it to my life? *shrugs* Until I figure this out, I am stuck.

Abso-freakin-lutely! Man, I have always said “If I could just see a picture of what I would look like at my goal weight, that would be ALL the motivation I would ever need!” But seriously, wouldn’t that be cool if that could actually happen?? But I know it never will happen so the best I can do in the mean time is look back at pictures of myself at my lowest weight and admire and appreciate how good I looked and imagine “visualize” what 20 more lost lbs would look like.

I also go and admire the clothes in my closet that currently don’t fit me anymore. They are SO STINKIN’ CUTE!! Not to mention thinking about all the places I will be able to comfortably shop in, and not just barely fit into their size large. Places like Bebe, Express, BCBG, I would LOVE to own a pair of Seven (for all Mankind) or True Religion jeans!! Also shorts! OK, I know it sounds weird because there aren’t too many people who go crazy over shorts but I envision “visualize” myself in this adorable pair of black shorts with a skinny belt and a bright, scoop neck fitted shirt. A SIMPLE outfit but one I currently can’t wear. What frustrates me the most is I WAS AT THAT STAGE (meaning I was wearing adorable shorts outfits) at my lowest weight - but we won’t concentrate on that, lol.

So yes, I absolutely visualize my weight loss. It’s one of the best motivators there is out there, for me anyways. And seriously, if anyone can figure out a way to show me a picture of myself (not just a picture of myself scaled down like that one website Roni was talking about) but really, me - smaller - with bone structure (such as cheek bones, more jaw definition, and collar bone definition) among everything else, I WILL LOVE YOU FOR LIFE!!!!

So I’m having a bit of a hard time finding a new WW time Either they are during my work hours or they are immediately after I get off work and no where close to my office so I can’t make it in time. Which leaves me with weekend meetings, which I am not opposed to - only I tend to have CRAZY weekends and am not always in town, so that leaves a lot of potential for missing meetings. I suppose making SOME meetings it better than NONE at all, but fooey, it’s a bit frustrating!

Aside from that, I haven’t really had the time to work out at all this week. I’m still adjusting to this new schedule. Plus, it’s been a crazy week. Man, my life is pretty hectic sometimes. But hey, better busy than slow I say! (um yeah, I think I said that exact line in my last post, lol…I need to come up with some new material!)

I’d been struggling a bit with staying OP with all that’s been going on in my life but I’m happy to report I had a solid day yesterday and honestly, all I need is ONE solid day and I’m back on track because my body just FEELS it - it feels GOOD - and I don’t want to let that feeling go away! So here is to another OP day!

I made a super YUMMY and delicious turkey wrap for lunch yesterday, and again today. It’s only like 3 to 4 points and REALLY filling! Once I get the brand names of everything I will share the recipe with y’all because it’s a good one!

Again, I don’t know how much posting I will be able to do because tomorrow I leave work early to go to Houston for the Kanye West, Rihanna, Lupe Fiasco and N.E.R.D concert!! I am SOO excited AND I have AMAZING seats! I am a concert junkie, I will spend $ out the wazoo for good seats! hahaha…I just get a rush off it! But THEN Saturday I am going to go camping with some friends so I’ll be super busy with driving, packing, and camping. I really hope I’m able to stay OP this weekend with concert food and camp out food, but I know if I put my mind to it, I can do anything!!

Well, I am a busy girl at work but had to work in a break to post because I miss yall, and maybe…you miss me? lol…I don’t know but I do miss you guys! And BTW, I know I haven’t been posting as much but umm…WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU GUYS??? I’m still reading but I feel like I can’t find a lot of my regulars - hmmmm, don’t make me come stalk yall to get yall to post!