a new day, a new lady

So I already mentioned earlier that I had a turning point/wake up call this morning. After a long, super fun, super delicious food filled weekend, I stepped on the scale to see (uhh I hate to even post this) 194.5lbs! I haven’t seen that number in over two YEARS! I mean granted its only a couple pounds heavier than when I started this blog but SERIOUSLY, that is NOT ok! I told myself I would never get any higher than the weight I was when I started blogging. Well this weekend put me over the top.

I had a plan and the plan just fell through. Too many un-foreseen things happened this weekend. I did really well on Friday (I made Roni’s yummy Spaghetti Squash and Zucchini lasagna for dinner) until I went to eat a string cheese and some grapes when I noticed that my roommate (my super skinny roommate) had eaten almost ALL my string cheese AND my grapes!! So then I’m pissed, I was going to snack healthy and I couldn’t because my super skinny roomie (and super rich, btw…so it’s not like she’s pressed for cash to buy food) ate my food. So I go to get my BRAND NEW BAG of Baked Cheddar Sour Cream chips and guess what, she’d eaten the WHOLE bag too!! Just left me crumbs in the bottom of the bag! I WAS LIVID! So not only am I hungry but I’m also pissed the heck off. So what do I do? I totally emotionally angry eat! Granted, it was all 1 and 2 point items but they ADD UP! What made it even worse was the fact that she had stopped into the grocery store earlier that day to pick up lunch for herself and she could have replaced my stuff then, but no, she didn’t. She just ate it and didn’t even bother to replace it, tell me about it, nothing! She was out of town this weekend so I haven’t confronted her yet but this isn’t the first time she’s done something like this. However, it’s usually something really small and she usually immediately replaces it. This was just UN-acceptable!

So I finally go to bed Friday…get up Saturday and have nothing to eat because I emotionally ate the one bowl of milk and cereal I had left the night before. So I get mad all over again and eat MORE 1 and 2 point items in place of a healthy breakfast. I finally calm down when I get invited to go with friends out on the lake. However, the couple I was with, LOVE to cook and LOVE to eat. Of course somehow they are super small, but whatever, lol. It was all really healthy (basically) stuff: homemade chicken and veggie salad, broccoli salad, roasted artichokes, beef tenderloin, spaghetti, salad and creme brulee, oh and chips and queso too - the one real bad item but I did pretty OK there. However I totally drank alcohol the whole time too and I was with them from like 2pm until midnight - so that’s alot of alcohol and food. So there goes another day down the drain.

Wake up Sunday and go buy milk so I can have oatmeal. I’m off to a good start. UNTIL I go to my friend’s baby shower and there is yummy food everywhere. I mean just to give you an idea of the cupcakes, they were homemade strawberry cupcakes with the middle being a combo of marshmallow cream and strawberry jam, with homemade cream cheese icing on top with strawberry sprinkles. That was JUST the cupcakes!! I limited myself to one of everything. I didn’t go back to the table and graze but still, one of everything wasn’t exactly healthy. So I come home, and I’m bound and determined to get back on plan - I was going to eat the Spaghetti Squash and Zucchini lasagna I had made Friday night UNTIL (lol) I talked to my mom and they were eating hamburgers from my favorite hamburger place in Houston so I just HAD to order a hamburger from my favorite hamburger place in Austin (with a small order of fries, of course). So NATURALLY when I stepped on the scale this morning, it was just DISASTROUS!

My reasoning used to be that this isn’t a diet, it’s life and there are always going to be occasions where you get off track and such but SCRATCH that! It’s my life and there are ALWAYS going to be occasions with the potential to get off track, LEARN TO EAT HEALTHY AND SMART DURING THOSE OCCASIONS!!

I can’t do that anymore. It’s not worth it and it’s just not right. So after the horrible scale reading this morning I pack my lunch: a 4 point lean cuisine, with a bag of grapes, carrots, a kiwi, and mandarin oranges. Not that I plan on eating it all but I’m armed with ONLY healthy stuff whenever hunger hits! I also packed my gym bag so I can go exercise as soon as I get off work. I also KNOW I am eating my healthy lasagna tonight, NO MATTER WHAT!

I do also want to pat myself on the back because we celebrated a co-workers birthday this morning and there were bagels with cream cheese, all sorts of breakfast tacos, and chocolate! lol…and I didn’t touch ANY of it! I’m sorry (well no, I’m not sorry) but it’s just not worth it! NOTHING is worth or can taste as good as being healthy and in shape will FEEL. That’s all there is to it!

So with all this being said, I get on this morning looking for inspiration to help me stay on track and read this excellent newcomer’s blog. She discusses how when you start a new program or plan, even though you intend it to be a LIFE plan, you have awesome momentum for the first day, week, maybe even month but then you lose it somewhere along the day. She talks about how she’s going to treat EACH day like it’s “day one”. Um, can we say GENIUS! I think this is an excellent idea and I have already adopted it to be my own!

So once again, I am armed with a PLAN, a brand new OUTLOOK and the gut feeling that I KNOW I am going to be successful this time. I can feel it from within! It’s not terrible to fall short, or have a turning point, it allows you to learn from your mistakes and make it RIGHT the next time around. And I’m happy to announce that this is my LAST time around!

AAC: 65/130

AND I just want to say thank you for all of the wonderful support! This is SUCH an amazing community and I am SO grateful to have found each and every one of you. Thank you continued for the love and support!