Well September was pretty spectacular…I had a fabulous birthday month! Really, not that any of my friends or family read this website but I do want to thank them for making it absolutely amazing and one to remember for always!

Unfortunately for me, as soon as my birthday was over, it was like my good luck went straight out the window. I was working out with my personal trainer and things were going good - she was about to be in a body building competition and was going to take off the week so I booked an extra training session with her to try to counter balance the time we wouldn’t have together. Well, evidently that wasn’t a very good idea or maybe the combination between my trainer being all loopy due to the crazy diets those body builders do before their competitions and forgetting about my condition, and my not wanting to accept limitations despite my previous back injury, I attempted to do a dead lift with way too much weight and now I have basically reherniated two discs in my lower back and I’ve been on bed rest for a whole week now

And it sucks a whole lot. I’m in massive amounts of pain and it doesn’t seem that the pain killers are doing anything what so ever. I’m scared out of my mind that I might have to have back surgery this time around. They wouldn’t do it in the past because I was still relatively young (16) and still had some growing to do. But there’s nothing really stopping them this time around. And by all means, if that’s what’s going to make this better permantely then I know it’s what I will do. But it scares the heck out of me. More than anything I am just frustrated that it even happened. I think it’s so ridiculous that someone can get hurt and experience a set back when all they are trying to do is better themself, stay healthy and move forward. But I guess it just wasn’t in the cards for me, not this time around anyways.

So I am here on bed rest until my next dr. appt Friday morning, trying my best not to give in to emotional eating due to my depressive state. I’m hoping that by turning to my blog and writing out everything it will be cathartic.

I know that which doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger, and I keep having to remind myself of that. It just gets a little hard to see sometimes. But I know that I will overcome this and next time, I will have to accept that I do have limitations and there is nothing wrong with that. I just hope that I can have a speedy recovery because it is tearing me up sitting in this bed, it’s almost like I can feel my body losing everything I had worked so hard for during my work outs.

So September was all about celebrating and I guess October is going to be all about healing myself.

Hey, do you think I could get some sort of discount, rebate, refund for my monthly pass at weight watchers since I literally can’t attend the meetings? Anyone experienced that before? (I mean, I sure hope nobody has had to experience something like this, but if you have any knowledge on the matter that’d be much appreciated).

Well, I hope everyone is having MUCH better luck than me and having OP days/weeks/weekends! Let me live vicariously through those of yall that aren’t enduring my injury - work out for me and stay OP for me!!!