Woo hoo! I am SO happy! I just KNEW it was going to be a good week. And what a way to set off the weekend - motivation to keep myself on track, I love it. I hope everyone else has a wonderfully successful weekend too! Best of luck!

 P.S. Thank you for all of the support! It really means a LOT to me! I’m so glad I found this community!

Wow, now there’s a question/comment I NEVER thought I’d ask/write, lol. But seriously…last night I was looking through my pictures folder on my computer, just reliving some of the good times I’ve had in the past couple of years and I came upon my year of pictures at my lowest weight and I was just shocked - SHOCKED - at how good I looked! That’s where this regaining the weight thing comes into play. When I was at the lower weight, I never thought I looked good, I only wanted to lose more weight. I knew that I was smaller than before but I still saw the bigger girl and I was completely unsatisfied and self-conscious. It was like I had my blinders on and nothing was good enough. Now having regained some of that weight, I can look back at myself and say damn, I looked good and be proud of what I accomplished. I think it will help me to appreciate my weight loss more this time around because now I am actually seeing myself.

If you have read my “about” page you know that I am SUPER body conscious, which can be a good and a bad thing. Originally, I never knew how large I was until I started losing weight and I became ashamed of the person I used to be and how I looked. That’s why even at my lowest weight, I couldn’t appreciate it because I was still so obsessed with how I used to look and how oblivious I was to my size and so how could I possibly look good now because I had been living for years not really knowing my size. Vicious cycle I tell you. But like I said, now that I have gained some of the weight back, I can see myself for who I was then, for how I looked, for how far I had come and the progress I had made.

I think that this will make a big difference this time around because I will TRULY appreciate every pound I lose and KNOW that it’s changing me and making me a different person - a new lady if you will - and I can be happy with myself! Maybe hopefully lose some of this crazy body conscious stuff.

I just think it’s so funny how losing weight can effect you on so many levels. I NEVER thought through my weight losing process I’d ever get depressed or unhappy because I WAS LOSING WEIGHT! But I seriously went through some major identity issues. I think I finally have a grip on them now because I can finally SEE myself. I can finally see that at my lowest weight, I was actually about the size of my super cute best friend. When we took pictures together, it wasn’t obvious that I was the “big girl” and she was the “cute fit girl” - we look equal! And I NEVER saw that before!

So I guess what they say is true - everything DOES happen for a reason! And for me, it was regaining some of the lost weight to truly SEE myself. I can’t be mad at that because I know it’s going to really help me this time around. I’m so excited to go on this journey again because I know it will be different and I really think I will be happy this time around

OK seriously, the WW e-tools are AWESOME! They are completely helping me stay accountable and keep track of my points, ALL day long. In the past I would track breakfast and lunch because they were simple. However, because I usually cook dinner, it’s a little harder to track points and I’m usually too lazy to pull out the awesome reference books and look up the points. e-tools has made it SO easy to do that! As a result, I have counted points for the ENTIRE day and kept within my points range and I KNOW I’ve lost weight and I can’t wait to weigh in tomorrow! haha…don’t you love that feeling? The feeling of knowing you’re going to have a loss and the meeting just can’t come soon enough! It’s the greatest! I’ll be sure to share my success with yall tomorrow.

What’s also exciting is working out for the first time in like 3 weeks. Since the doctor told me to let my pain be my guide and I could pretty much do any cardio (no lifting, and obviously not swimming or anything) I decided to go to my hip-hop class last night - sling and all. I’m sure I looked like a fool dancing with only one arm but it FELT SO GOOD! I mean, I’m not going to lie, my arm was pretty dang mad at me after the class and I had to do some serious pain killers and ice BUT it just felt SO good during the class. I’d missed moving around, breaking a sweat. I’m working out again tonight - weights though - concentrating on legs and abs. I can’t wait!

**Had to change the color theme - burnt orange is only fitting being a UT Longhorn Alum and all…woo hoo for our first game Saturday night! Hook em!

But you can’t really blame me for being gone - a fractured elbow will do that to you.

I’m on the slow road to recovery. Yesterday I went to the doctor for my second set of x-rays to see how I was healing and sure enough he told me it could take up to 3 months to heal, BUT that I could slowly start to wean myself off my sling. One hour at a time! AND he said that I could work out (no heavy lifting, but cardio is good to go!) and just let my pain be my guide, haha. So with that exciting news I am going to my hip-hop dance class at 5:30 this evening. I am SO jazzed about it. I haven’t been in 3 weeks!

One exciting thing I did do while I was practically bed-ridden was attend my “first” WW meeting! I hadn’t been able to find a good meeting to attend because I had my work out schedule so in place. It was really kind of frustrating actually. But now that I haven’t been able to work out, I have had all this time and I made a meeting! AND my favorite leader was still there. I mean, it’s only been maybe 4-5 months since my last weekend (only, lol) but somtimes things change. It was really nice to see a familiar face though.

While I have been keeping this blog, I’ve been talking about getting on track or staying on track, yadda yadda yadda. But now I really FEEL like I am on track. There is something about those meetings that just do it for me. Give me the extra motivation and confidence to stick to the plan. It feels so good to be back!

So it’s just a day of come backs. I’m back to the blog, back to working out and back to my WW meetings! Life is pretty good right now!

So it’s been a while since my last post, and I apologize for that (running theme anyone? lol). I really do have good reason though! As previously stated, I was going out of town for my little mini-vacation of the summer and it was WONDERFUL! I had SO much fun and couldn’t have asked for anything more. The weather was perfect, my friends and family are the loves of my life and I can’t get enough time with them, the beach was relaxing and rejuvenating! What’s more is that my sneaky plan WORKED! haha! Everything went according to plan (meals and such) and I actually LOST weight while on vacation rather than gaining anything. Now that’s a first! I was so excited to come back and share my success with everyone. I mean weekends like that are completely validating and like I said before, if I can concur the vacation weekend, I can do anything! Well, almost anything…

I guess I was riding high on the success of my weekend and it got to my head because I decided to get on my friend’s skateboard (I know, I know…if you can’t skateboard by 22 then it’s probably not for you!) But I just didn’t want to be the ONLY one not trying to skateboard (and unfortunately, my body conscious mind was just nagging me saying all kinds of nasty things and I just didn’t want to be the “heavy” girl that wouldn’t try skateboarding!) So against my better judgment, I got on. All was going fine, I was skating around beautifully and THEN I attempted to do some rocking turns (everyone made it look SO easy!) yeah, not a good idea. MAN did that skateboard fly out from underneath me and MAN did my butt go flying through the air and MAN did I come down and land HARD on my elbow…yup…SUPER fun! So here I am at work, typing one handed (or should I say pecking one handed) with my left arm in a sling because I fractured the radial head in my elbow. Can you believe it??

Fortunately, I can actually say that I would repeat the weekend, fall and all because I had THAT much of an amazing time. But seriously, this is a sucky set back! I definitely let myself eat through my emotions part of Monday and Tuesday but I got back on track yesterday and its been smooth sailing today. I don’t think I did any real damage with the emotional eating, thank goodness. But I am doing damage to myself by not being able to work out. I was in a routine of working out 5-6 times a week!! It was AMAZING! And now, now…now I can walk. WHICH I am doing by the way, because it’s better than nothing. But it’s just like dang, I was doing so well and had built up endurance and got on this great schedule and now…I’m stuck in a sling for a MINIMUM of two weeks (when I go back for a 2nd set of x-rays) and even then, I have to take it really slow. Bleh…I keep rationalizing it out that I haven’t been injured in years (like herniated discs in my back weren’t bad enough to have me set for life, lol) but yeah…so maybe it was just time for me to get hurt again, I don’t know. But I’m hoping for a speedy recovery! I’m hoping that I won’t let myself get down and that I certainly won’t eat my emotions if I do happen to get down. I hope that I WILL walk and do what all I can to exercise while I heal.

So here’s my word to the wise - if you are out of your teens and still have yet to master skateboarding, back away from the skateboard my friend! haha…or at least wear a helmet, elbow pads and knee pads! Trust me, it’s just not worth having to have a friend go to the grocery store with you because its almost impossible to push around a shopping cart with one hand, much less when it has all your food in it! or having to get up an extra 20 minutes early because it takes you that long to get dressed one handed, or having to be an hour late to work because its pouring outside and you just don’t trust driving in rain with one hand, lol…not worth it my friend! But live and learn - that’s what life is all about!

Either way, it was an awesome weekend and I will heal with time! I hope everyone else had a great weekend and has had an excellent week as well! I’ll be posting more often now that I will  have so much free time on my hands, or hand rather, haha…although it’s SLOW going…I pecked out this entire entry! So one last quick recap - NO skateboarding over 20 and if you plan ahead (like with your meals and such) there’s NO reason you can’t stay on track, vacation or not! Good luck everyone!

Well that’s the plan at least! And since I am in charge of cooking and I have the meal plans and such, I think all this should fall in my favor! I even devised a semi-sneaky plan (I LOVE sneaky plans!) to help keep me on track. I’m having everyone bring their own snacks and goodies (we will all basically have the same breakfast, lunch and dinner - stuff I’ve planned out that are point savvy for me but yummy for others too! lol) But anyhow, by having everyone bring their own snacks, including myself, I won’t be tempted to eat bad things because I won’t want to eat other people’s food!! It’s one thing to pig out on your own food, but to pig out on stuff that’s not even yours is even more embarrassing! Hehe, I feel so sneaky and I love it - killing two birds with one stone, yup yup! So again, I hope all this works in my favor!

I’m leaving straight after work today for Houston and then to Galveston first thing Thursday morning where I will relax in the sun and lay out on the beach and play in the waves until Sunday night. I can’t wait! I’m going with some of my best friends and family members so I will be surrounded by positive people that won’t tempt me to fall off track. So I really hope that I will grab that strength inside of me and stick to the plan. If I can do this, I can do anything!

And to top it off I’m on track so far for today…

Target 26 pts

-Oatmeal with one slice of watermelon - 3 pts

-Small banana and Lean Cuisine Spaghetti - 6 pts

-Pretzels - 2 pts

Well I missed you, this, writing, reading, comments…ALL of it! I just had one crazy weekend - whew! My new roomie moved in and that was an ALL weekend production. Meeting mom, dad, sister, boyfriend, new dog and roomie…but it was tons of fun and I’m happy to have someone in the house again!

Despite the crazy weekend and complete lack of routine, I managed to stay on schedule with points AND I worked out Friday and Sunday! Gosh, I worked out 5 times last week…now that’s a routine that I would like to stick!  Unfortunately/fortunately I am taking off Thursday and Friday and going to our family bay house in Galveston (thus not being able to keep that routine - I WILL pick it up as soon as I return though!) I canNOT wait! I NEED this little mini break - it’s been one crazy summer already. It might be a little difficult because I will be in Galveston with my best friends and who likes to behave on vacation? But I have come too far or rather, started off too much on the right foot to sabotage myself this weekend. Fortunately(/unfortuantely - lol), I am pretty much in charge of all the meals so I get to plan what we eat, hehe.

I hope everyone had a great and successful weekend! And if for some reason it didn’t go exactly as planned, just remember - every 5 minutes is a new 5 minutes - every day is a new day to start fresh! So leave any mistakes behind, let’s be positive and let’s all win this battle together!

So I was working out with my personal trainer Monday (I go again this evening) we were discussing some of her other clients and she mentioned that earlier that day, for the first time ever, one of her clients cried. I asked her why she cried (because my trainer is SUPER sweet and totally someone I would hang out with outside of the gym, so I was a little confused) and she explained to me that her client had gained weight and increased in body fat (no names were given away mind you, I have no clue who this client is nor could I ever figure it out from the countless clients my trainer has, so she still has complete anonymity). My trainer asked her client if she was sticking to the food plan and really watching what she ate and her client responded “well, for the most part” to which my trainer simply responded with “Well I don’t know what you want me to do, you have to stick to your end of the deal.” The client agreed and they began the work out only for her to randomly burst into tears and explain that she just couldn’t work out today and would see her next week. I felt really bad for the lady because I  know how hard it is to stick to the plan and it sucks being called out on it. But wow, it just really made me think about my second weigh in - which isn’t for another two weeks (I think) - and granted, I know I will have lost weight and body fat % (because I already have), it just scared the crap out of me to think about getting on that scale or what not and my trainer just looking at me asking me “What do you want me to do?” That would just be so embarrassing! It’s one thing to weigh in at WW and face a potential weight gain, but it’s quite another to have your trainer questioning you. So now, I constantly have my trainer in the back of my mind whenever I’m tempted to break off plan - I don’t want to have that conversation with her!

Secondly, my new roomie is moving in this weekend! And that in and of itself will help me tremendously!  Know why? I NEVER binge eat/emotional eat/bored eat when other people around. It’s just too embarrassing to have someone come home to me sitting on the couch, watching TV with a bag of pretzels and dip (or whatever). So while I haven’t slipped since Sunday, I can’t wait for the roomie to come so that hopefully it won’t happen again. I know I can’t completely rely on my roomie being there and facing my personal trainer alone but trust me, it helps a LOT!

On a side note, I made a ground beef, black bean, corn and diced tomato chili last night - I was REALLY psyched about it - unfortunately I made it a little too spicy! But I’m not wasting it, just drinking THAT much more water, haha. It’s still really yummy just packing the flavor BIG time! But if anyone has any other easy recipe ideas with similar ingredients, please send them on over!!

Like the title says, staying on track DOES just feel good! Granted, it’s only been 2.5 days since my slip up, it’s been a strong productive 2.5 days! I’ve definitely been sticking to the plan and that just makes me feel good. Especially when I am out to eat with friends who order all sorts of goodies but I have the strength to say no. Or returning home to my empty condo (new roomie moving in Saturday!) and needing comfort but not seeking it in the kitchen. Or finally being at work where your co-workers offer you deliciously unhealthy trail mix, candy, and other goods but again, you say “no thank you.” Then finally sitting down to eat and making the right, healthy choices. It just FEELS good! Like my one fellow blogger wrote (and if you ever read my blog and notice this is your quote, PLEASE say something so I can give you proper credit!) “It might feel great to eat that ______ (insert tempting food here) but not as good as skinny feels!” With that being said, here’s a quick food journal for yesterday and what I’ve eaten so far today AND good luck to all my fellow friends seeking to lose some weight.

8/1/07

- Granola cereal with milk and a peach - 5

- Lean Cuisine Skillet, pretzels and a peach - 8 (at least I think a peach is 2 pts but I could be wrong!)

7/31/07

- Oatmeal with milk - 3

- Lean Cuisine Seasame Chicken, pretzels - 9

- String cheese - 1

- Greek salad with grilled chicken and 2 small rolls - 10?