a new day, a new lady

some fellow readers over here were looking for me but couldn’t find me, I’ve long been over at the new website Blog To Lose and I’m loving it.

Come check me out at the new website because I don’t want to leave anyone behind!! Also, leave me a message if you are still blogging over here so I can make sure to stop by your blogs and read, catch up and comment myself! Thanks!

Another Monday, my how time absolutely flies! I had an excellent weekend - and I actually was able to eat EXTREMELY well over the weekend too, despite the deliciously yummy food that was cooked. My Uncle is a phenomenal cook and it’s like the biggest treat to get to eat his cooking whenever we visit. I usually am tempted, as is my whole family, to stuff myself silly whenever we go because like I said, it’s a treat to get to eat his cooking (yes! it is THAT good!) and while this weekend was no exception - I NEVER finished my whole plate once! I ate until I was pleasantly full, not stuffed, sick to my stomach, need to lay down and take a nap, full! I completely consider that a NSV!!

I am super tired and super busy here at work and all I want to do is read you guys’ posts! haha…I need to catch up since I was gone all weekend long! I missed y’all! Am I just weird or do y’all miss the community too when you are gone? Because I always want to know how everyone is doing, who has accomplished what, what yummy recipes are being shared, etc. Some might call that nosy but I just call it missing my friends! haha

Also, I just want to say thank you for all the wonderful comments people leave either on specific blog posts or on the general comment wall. They really mean so much to me and it is so nice to know people not only read what you write but that they agree, disagree, find motivation in what you write, or can offer advice and help. It’s just the coolest thing! So thank you to anyone who has ever read my blog and who has ever commented before!

Finally, I have tons more to say (don’t I always?) but I do need to get back to work AND I also want to go read some other blogs while I can, BUT I wanted to wish all the mothers on here a Happy Belated Mother’s Day! I hope everyone got what they needed out of the weekend and their day! You all definitely deserve it!!

Until later!

until I can wake up in the morning and NOT think about food! I’ve been wanting to blog about this for some time but just put it off for some reason or always had something else more pertinent to write about. A fellow blogger’s post got me thinking about this again and I decided it was finally the perfect time to post about it!

I can NOT wait until I wake up in the morning and don’t think about breakfast, lunch or dinner. What to eat, what to pack, what to lay out to thaw. And it’s not even so much the preparation side of it that annoys me, I just hate that some of my first waking thoughts are about food. I want to find a time in my life where I just co-exist with food and it’s not an issue, it’s not a waking thought. It kind of makes me feel like my life is consumed by food. And while it’s not really consumed by food because, I wake up - fix my oatmeal and berries, prepare my lunch for work and then go get dressed; then get to work and get busy until I feel those hunger pains around 12:30 or 1pm and I usually don’t think about it in between; there are some days where I count up 4 hours from whenever I ate breakfast or lunch to find out when a good time to eat is, and sometimes I’m just waiting until the clock tells me it’s OK to eat. Thinking about food. I hate that!

I don’t know, as much as I do love food and enjoy eating it, I see the art in good food, blah blah blah - I sometimes wish I could just take a pill (not a diet pill) but like some food pill - like the chewing gum in Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and just have my food all at once, it’d be done with - I wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore! I could concentrate on all the million other things going on in my life besides food, lol. Ahhhh, a girl can dream can’t she?

Do any of y’all face the same issues? Food is just always there on your mind? Thank goodness I don’t dream about food! lol…THAT would just be too much!

EMOTIONS! You name the emotion, it’ll probably give me the desire to eat. Well that’s not entirely true. I don’t eat on my OWN (by myself) when I am happy or some form of happy, positive emotion. I only really eat when I am WITH people and feeling happy, positive emotions. However, I’ll eat on my own during ALL the negative emotions - boredom, loneliness, anger, frustration, exhaustion, sad, depressed, etc. Those are the ones I have to look out for - ESPECIALLY if I am alone!

It kind of sucks though because I am usually happy when I am with people and feeling the other negative emotions when I am alone - so it’s like either way, I’m in trouble! Fortunately, NO one around me ever encourages me to eat (well that’s not entirely true, I have one friend who can eat anything she wants and never gain a pound and she tends to always want me to indulge with her - but I have learned to say “no thank you!”) but for the most part, I don’t have to worry about people egging me on to eat, that peer pressure eating. The majority of the people around me eat healthy or are health conscious for that matter. So that’s a big help!

However, it’s also a help to be with people regardless of the emotion because unless other people are eating, I don’t like to eat! I usually don’t even have an appetite unless other people are eating and then I never out due anyone, I will just indulge right a long side them. So it’s funny how things work. If I always had something to do or always had someone around me, I think I’d be a skinny minny. Unfortunately for me though, I really do enjoy my alone time. But then again, there’s a difference in choosing to be alone and being happy alone and NOT wanting to be alone but being alone anyways. (OK my thoughts are ALL over the place today, I’m sorry if this post is hard to follow, lol).

But the long and short of it is that emotions cause me to (over)eat. Dang those emotions!

but I just wanted to say THANK YOU for all the support from this community, both on here and from weightwatchen.com! I was terribly frustrated the other day and with the help, advice, guidance, encouragement and support from y’all I have completely re-grouped - I feel stronger than ever with a plan that I feel SUPER confident in!

I’ve got two SOLID days in my pocket now, solid days that have already shown major pay off on the scale! I know I can do this and thank you to everyone for believing in me!

I’m going to post a more lengthy (yall know how I love to talk, lol) post tomorrow but I just wanted to say a quick thank you now! I hope everyone had a great AP day!

Yeah so this morning I tried on an old “new” pair of pants…and they fit…a little lose but not lose enough. Why aren’t you jumping up and down for joy you ask? Because they are a LARGER pair of old “new” pants…a size that I haven’t worn in over 2 years. What am I doing? I swear! It’s like I can do so amazing during the week but throw me one curve ball and I’ll throw all success to the wind. I know that I’m doing it when I do it too, that’s the bad thing. It’s not like its something I do unconsciously and then I regret it after the fact. I am mad at myself WHILE I am doing it but continue to do it anyways! I don’t understand me sometimes. How far do I have to slip? How much of the old weight do I have to regain before I wisen up and stop this stupid cycle?

I feel like a broken record when it comes this but TODAY IS A NEW DAY! Today is my day one. This philosophy is so fantastic, and it has really helped me in the past. I think I need to tattoo it to my hand or something so I don’t forget! I mean, no one said this was going to be easy. I think that secretly that’s been a problem for me. Let me explain - when I first joined WW over two years ago, the weight just DROPPED! It just fell off me. All I did was count my points, never went over and the weight came off. I wasn’t injured so I was able to exercise all the time, and I loved exercising so that wasn’t a problem. I never felt deprived, never felt like I was struggling to stay OP or be active and I lost 40lbs in the blink of an eye (on top of the 25lbs I had already lost on my own). It was just fantastic, amazing! I was IN LOVE with WW! Then for one reason or another my weight loss came to a halt and I slowly began to gain about half of it back over the past two years. And it’s like every day I actively count my points, every day I go for exercise - while I love the feel of it all - like I FEEL healthy inside and it makes me happy - it is NOT AT ALL easy like it was the first time. It’s freaking hard! I think somewhere in the back of my head, I keep thinking it’s going to become “easy” again. I’m just going to wake up and do it and I won’t feel deprived or like I’m struggling at all. But I really don’t think that’s ever going to happen again. I think the first time was a fluke, very circumstantial to things going on in my life at the time. I need to LET GO of that hope, that wish, because it IS NOT going to happen. It’s SO hard to do though because unlike how everyone always wishes it would just “drop off” and “magically disappear over night” I feel like that REALLY HAPPENED to me at one point so it just makes it that much harder. I don’t know how to let this notion go that one day it will be super easy again but I DO know that this is what is holding me back. So I guess my question is, how do I take something I KNOW and APPLY it to my life? *shrugs* Until I figure this out, I am stuck.

Abso-freakin-lutely! Man, I have always said “If I could just see a picture of what I would look like at my goal weight, that would be ALL the motivation I would ever need!” But seriously, wouldn’t that be cool if that could actually happen?? But I know it never will happen so the best I can do in the mean time is look back at pictures of myself at my lowest weight and admire and appreciate how good I looked and imagine “visualize” what 20 more lost lbs would look like.

I also go and admire the clothes in my closet that currently don’t fit me anymore. They are SO STINKIN’ CUTE!! Not to mention thinking about all the places I will be able to comfortably shop in, and not just barely fit into their size large. Places like Bebe, Express, BCBG, I would LOVE to own a pair of Seven (for all Mankind) or True Religion jeans!! Also shorts! OK, I know it sounds weird because there aren’t too many people who go crazy over shorts but I envision “visualize” myself in this adorable pair of black shorts with a skinny belt and a bright, scoop neck fitted shirt. A SIMPLE outfit but one I currently can’t wear. What frustrates me the most is I WAS AT THAT STAGE (meaning I was wearing adorable shorts outfits) at my lowest weight - but we won’t concentrate on that, lol.

So yes, I absolutely visualize my weight loss. It’s one of the best motivators there is out there, for me anyways. And seriously, if anyone can figure out a way to show me a picture of myself (not just a picture of myself scaled down like that one website Roni was talking about) but really, me - smaller - with bone structure (such as cheek bones, more jaw definition, and collar bone definition) among everything else, I WILL LOVE YOU FOR LIFE!!!!

So I’m having a bit of a hard time finding a new WW time Either they are during my work hours or they are immediately after I get off work and no where close to my office so I can’t make it in time. Which leaves me with weekend meetings, which I am not opposed to - only I tend to have CRAZY weekends and am not always in town, so that leaves a lot of potential for missing meetings. I suppose making SOME meetings it better than NONE at all, but fooey, it’s a bit frustrating!

Aside from that, I haven’t really had the time to work out at all this week. I’m still adjusting to this new schedule. Plus, it’s been a crazy week. Man, my life is pretty hectic sometimes. But hey, better busy than slow I say! (um yeah, I think I said that exact line in my last post, lol…I need to come up with some new material!)

I’d been struggling a bit with staying OP with all that’s been going on in my life but I’m happy to report I had a solid day yesterday and honestly, all I need is ONE solid day and I’m back on track because my body just FEELS it - it feels GOOD - and I don’t want to let that feeling go away! So here is to another OP day!

I made a super YUMMY and delicious turkey wrap for lunch yesterday, and again today. It’s only like 3 to 4 points and REALLY filling! Once I get the brand names of everything I will share the recipe with y’all because it’s a good one!

Again, I don’t know how much posting I will be able to do because tomorrow I leave work early to go to Houston for the Kanye West, Rihanna, Lupe Fiasco and N.E.R.D concert!! I am SOO excited AND I have AMAZING seats! I am a concert junkie, I will spend $ out the wazoo for good seats! hahaha…I just get a rush off it! But THEN Saturday I am going to go camping with some friends so I’ll be super busy with driving, packing, and camping. I really hope I’m able to stay OP this weekend with concert food and camp out food, but I know if I put my mind to it, I can do anything!!

Well, I am a busy girl at work but had to work in a break to post because I miss yall, and maybe…you miss me? lol…I don’t know but I do miss you guys! And BTW, I know I haven’t been posting as much but umm…WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU GUYS??? I’m still reading but I feel like I can’t find a lot of my regulars - hmmmm, don’t make me come stalk yall to get yall to post!

OK so I am totally laughing at the fact that last WEDNESDAY I wrote about being able to blog more often because I had finally picked up more hours at work. Well, I guess I spoke too soon or something! lol…so here is what’s been happening the past week…

I have been ridiculously busy at work. Which is GREAT because it makes the days go by so much quicker, but leaves no time to blog. All last week was spent preparing for a Motivational Interviewing training that we ran this morning for 60 people. A LOT of preparation goes into compiling notebooks for each registered individual, making sure the room is equipped with everything the trainers (my bosses) could possibly need, all sorts of correspondence. Just tons and tons and tons of work. So that’s number one…

Number two - MY BEST FRIEND HAD HER BABY GIRL FRIDAY MORNING!!! She went into the hospital Thursday around 4pm and I was at the hospital with her from 8pm until 3am. Baby Addison RyAnn Jones was born at 12:41am April, 25, 2008 weighing in at 6 pounds 4 ounces, measuring 20 inches. She is absolutely BEAUTIFUL! Her mama is Hawiian and already, Addison has her mother’s head full of hair, eye lashes and luscious lips, haha.

I was absolutely exhausted Friday morning. I actually over slept and was about an hour and a half late to work (which I NEVER do - that tells you how tired I was, lol), but fortunately my bosses are REALLY cool and didn’t mind at all. I got straight to work and got everything that we needed accomplished, so it was all OK.

So number three, this weekend was the Longhorn Singer’s 50th Reunion!!! All my years at UT, I was a member of the Longhorn Singers (singing is my PASSION, it’s my lover!) So the whole weekend was filled with events from alumni and current members. It was SO much fun! Friday night we went at Sholz Beer Garden where the current members of Longhorn Singers performed for us and it was fabulous. That basically went on until the weather got really nasty and since they were performing on an outside stage, they had to stop. However, I got to drive out to my friend’s house because I am cat sitting (this is reason number 4 on the busy list). My best friend is in Europe for 3 weeks and it’s my shift to look after Cruba cat now. I love him to death so I totally don’t mind but when you are utterly exhausted, and it’s thunderstorming, hailing, etc. the last thing you want to do is drive North to look after a cat, lol. But I am a good friend and a COMPLETE animal lover, so of course I went!

Saturday was filled with more Longhorn Singers’ events. We met in the morning, 5 decades worth of members and rehearsed a few songs to sing at the evening banquet. This was SO MUCH FUN!! I knew that I missed singing but I didn’t realize just how much until I was in there, with a conductor and sheet music in an official rehearsal all over again. I have GOT to find an outlet for myself. I absolutely loved this reunion though. I learned things I never knew about Longhorn Singers! I mean, I’ve always felt so blessed and lucky to have found LHS because not only did it provide me with a place to sing music but it also provided me with SO many FRIENDS that I KNOW I will have for the rest of my life!! And what made the weekend so cool was actually getting to see that I was a part of something SO much bigger than myself, or the current members of LHS. I mean, to talk to some of these people, look at old videos, and pictures and to know that songs that we sing now, parties we have, initiations we have, just traditions we have - have been going on for 50 years!!! I guess I always assumed that they were traditions from the past 10 to 15 years but NEVER 50 years worth of traditions! It just touched my heart and I honestly felt so extremely lucky!! I was a total sap and cried more times than I can count, hahaha. So that basically took up my day from 9:30am until 9:30pm and after that Longhorn Singers’ had our traditional Wine and Cheese party, haha. I was absolutely exhausted though and so while I am known as a “party closer” I was home and in bed around 1:45am.

So the following video is a small snipet of us sinigng March Grandioso, which is one of our “fight” songs but it’s the fight song the BAND plays! (In the youtube video link, the first half is March Grandioso) However, we’ve always prided ourselves and being a pretty damn good choir, so we actually sing the instrumental song! (oh yeah, I’m in the front row, kind of hidden by the conductor, but I’m wearing a black and white dress)
Download Longorn Singers singing March Grandioso

I slept in late yesterday and while I had a million errands to run because of my busy week and weekend, I did absolutely NOTHING but watch TV with my roomie ALL DAY LONG! hahaha…and it felt WONDERFUL!! But I do have a million and one things to do. On top of work, where the training went REALLY well today and we had no glitches or anything. I want to go visit Barbie and her baby again - now that they are back in the comfort of their own home and without a bunch of people around them. My best friend Bonnie moved to Austin on Sunday from Houston. I’ve been waiting 5 years for us to live in the same city again so I’m super excited about that and I want to go see her new place and help her decorate and stuff. My other best guy friend just made the decision final that he is moving to Dallas in 2.5 weeks. I am REALLY sad about this because I have never known Austin without him. I pretty much met him as soon as I moved to Austin and we dated for a year and have been best friends the past 2.5 years. I am SO sad for him to leave but I know it’s probably what is best for him and his career. But I want to get in as much quality time with him as possible before he goes!! And then of course there is the mundane things like doing laundry, cleaning up my room, buying groceries. I haven’t been to the store since I returned from Houston LAST weekend and I am down to the BARE BONES! I NEED to go to the store really really bad!

Tomorrow is my one day off and I am going to have to utilize it to the best of my abilities. Not only do I have all these things to do BUT tomorrow night is Longhorn Singers’ Year End Banquet. I really want to buy a new fancy dress to wear but I don’t know if I am going to have to the time to go shopping, lol. Worst case scenario I have a dress that no one has really ever seen me in before so I can always just do that! But yeah…ALL OF THIS is why I haven’t posted in literally, almost a week. It’s funny the way things work out huh? OH and guess who is going to Houston this weekend for the Kanye West, Rihanna, Lupe Fiasco, and N.E.R.D concert?? Yeah, that would be me! And I’m either going to Galveston Saturday OR driving all the way back to Waco which is on the OTHER side of Austin to go to Longhorn Singers’ last campout. I wasn’t able to make it last semester because of my back and I’d REALLY love to attend this one, especially considering its so many of my friends last campout too. So I have yet to decide on that but there goes another busy ass weekend, haha. But better busy than slow I say!!

Hopefully I will be able to find some time to do some more posting though and do some reading and commenting on everyone else’s blogs. I totally missed you guys and I hope everyone had a wonderful week and weekend!!

P.S. I am going to try to post a short video and some pictures of this past weekend, just so yall can kind of see what Longhorn Singers is! So check back!

P.P.S. Is the embedded video working for anyone??

because my hours at work FINALLY picked up! For those of y’all who have been reading my blog for a while, you know that I severely injured myself back September and have been recovering (no work, bed rest, physical therapy) the works, since then. In February I finally was able to start work again, 10 hours a week (you can NOT live of this people!) Thank the Lord for family or I would have been in deep trouble. However, my back has been doing a million times better and my work offered me an increase in hours - 10 hours to 32 hours a week! HALLELUJAH! I seriously did a MAJOR happy dance after I got done talking to my boss. So Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I will FOR SURE be at a computer, haha. OK, I just realized…how bad is it that I said I will be able to post more because I’m working more? Shouldn’t it be the opposite? hahaha…oh well, either way I am super excited!

On a less happy note, I am going to have to find a new WW meeting. I went to my last Wednesday meeting this morning. I LOVE my leader. I’ve tried a couple other ones and I just don’t connect with anyone else like I do Julie I’ll figure something out though. I just hope they don’t think I gave up or anything!

Well, not much else to report at the moment. Something is up with my appetite this morning. I had a 1 point bagel with 1 point yogurt spread and a handful of strawberries for breakfast. For lunch I just had half of the smallest blackened chicken breast with a couple bites of salad (the dressing was yucky) and almost a full container of strawberries! (I picked them up on my way to work - I desperately need to go to the grocery store). Oh, I also ate a string cheese. But yeah I’m guessing I’ve only eaten 6 to 7 points today and I’m just fine. The things that make you go hmmmm.

I hope everyone else I have a fantastic day! I’ll be posting and commenting more soon - I can do that, I’ve got the hours! hehe