Kim’s Journey to a Healthier Place

You may have heard my buzz on here about our trip to San Antonio next week. One of the evenings requires a cocktail dress. I haven’t had the opportunity to wear a cocktail dress since I lost the weight, so Mom and I went shopping. Let’s just say I was out of my comfort zone. I bought one that was a style I never would have picked up before, but I love it! The dress is great, but I still see things that I wish I could change about my body. I realize my body has done some amazing things this past year, but I guess there will always be a part of me that is self critical. I’ll by no means have the best body there, but I’m pretty sure I’ll feel confident knowing how far I’ve come. I need to focus on my positively amazing changes and improvements over the past year and embrace my imperfections because they are what makes me, me. I’ll slip on that dress, hold my head high, and smile. After all, doesn’t being confident and happy make all our flaws look better?

“You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be.” - David Viscott

I was telling Wonderful Husband last night how even though I’m the smallest I’ve ever been, I feel fat. I mean like 30-40 lbs ago fat. This has been going on for about 2 weeks. What gives? I’d be lying if I didn’t say that part of the Journey to a Healthier Place included liking what I see in the mirror as compared to what I used to see. Throughout the journey I’ve had self-confidence, felt great, and felt like I looked great. Now I just feel chubby. Humph…

I’m between a size 10 and 12 in pants. This past weekend WH went with me to buy a new pair of jeans. The 2 pair I have that fit are from the early 1990s when I was in high school. Let’s just say they’re a bit out of style. When I’d wear them, WH would tease me and say, “The eighties called. They want their jeans back.” He thinks he’s so funny. Anyway, the new jeans are a size 10. Not that long ago I would look at a size 10 (which I’ve never worn previously) and think, “Boy those are small. I can’t see myself ever fitting into that size.” Now size 10s fit and instead of being elated, I see the fat girl in the mirror. Not the earth-shattering excitement I though I’d have at that moment. It was a disappointment.

I’m hoping this is just a phase. I’ve done so well, and most importantly, I feel SOOO much better physically. Maybe I need to pull out those size 18 and 20 jeans to put next to the size 10s to see how far I’ve come. Good idea! I’ll do that tonight. Maybe that will get me thinking logically again.

Have any of you gone through this in your journey?

Last night I went to an after-hours work dinner with Wonderful Husband. I see the people he works with about 2-3 times a year at various functions. I must say that last night I felt a bit ambushed. I wasn’t expecting anyone to notice my weight loss simply because I don’t see them often. I know that for me to notice someone’s weight loss it would have to be a lot if I only see them a couple times a year. Wonderful Husband actually had co-workers at the party asking who he brought with him. They thought maybe I was a new employee because they didn’t recognize me! Holy Cow! At least their first thoughts weren’t that he had a girlfriend on the side. (c: All night I had women asking how I did it, how much lost, how long, etc. In a lot of ways it felt great, and then I though it will be nice when it’s not a big deal. Ya know, when everyday I’m just a normal sized person, not the girl who is WAY smaller than she was the last time we saw her. Does that make sense? Really I should savor the compliments. I know maintenance is right around the corner and the compliments will stop once the pounds stop melting off.

I really didn’t have a game plan prepared before walking into the party because I wasn’t sure what to expect. There were all kinds of delectables sitting out before dinner and an amazing spread for dinner. I ate most of my points on the appetizers (which, to me, are usually better than entree stuff anyways) and just tasted items from the dinner spread. It was buffet-style, of course. I’m very happy with my selections and felt no anxiety with the evening. I have plenty of weekly allowance points to handle any extra points I may have consumed. Besides, who could feel anxious with all the compliments! I hope everyone reading this has an ambush moment. You all deserve recognition for all your hard work!

Cheesy hips… I don’t really mean like cottage cheese hips, ya know cellulite. Or am I?

Yesterday (also the day I officially lost 40 lbs) I had an older lady come into my office who was petite and chubby. I was making small talk about our first day of cooler weather and how chili sounded like a good idea for dinner. I then asked her if she’d ever tried spaghetti squash. I had fixed some up the night before (it’s one of my all time favorite dishes) and preceded to tell her how I prepare it (I’ll post recipe later). I was telling her some people put their chili over spaghetti squash (I read that on Roni’s site.) My recipe calls for mozzarella cheese and butter (no chili). The little lady remarked, “I could tell you love cheese by the looks of those hips!” OMG! If she ONLY knew how hard I’ve worked to get these hips this small. Then as she left her appointment, the last thing she said as she walked out the door was, “Don’t eat too much cheese. Your hips won’t be able to handle it!” OMG! I was shocked more than hurt by her comments. It has helped me to not get too comfortable with  the amount of weight I’ve lost. It would be real easy to say I’ve come so far, and if this is all I accomplish, I’m okay with that. I AM happy to be where I am, but I’m still striving to be healthier, and I mean according to body weight, exercise, and nutrition. So comments like hers are just a little kick in the butt to remind me that this journey continues on. There’s no stopping now.

 Side note: If anyone else is using this theme, how on earth do you edit the “About” on the sidebar? Thanks!