Belly be gone!

(written on friday…posted on tuesday…)

random musings…

perception…

i was thinking about this today (last friday).  it came about as i was working today with someone who is new.  i noticed that on on her bulletin board she had a piece of paper that looked to have some goals with working out and toning and losing weight.  now, i didn’t really read it, but it got me thinking…especially after i went to the restroom and saw my reflection (slightly distorted) off the (mirrored) elevator.  i started wondering…to someone who doesn’t know me or hasn’t met me, how do i appear?  am i average?  am i skinny?  do i need to lose some weight?

i guess right now, with the skin that i’m in, i’d be average.  i have some clothes that i will wear that are VERY flattering and make me look a lot thinner than i think i am.  for example - last month during my grandmother’s funeral, i got lots of complements from family friends and my mom’s coworkers about how skinny i was.  granted, i was wearing one of those outfits that i know is flattering (black, a-line skirt - DOES WONDERS!!!), but i didn’t necessarily feel skinny. 

so as i passed the reflection today (friday) and looked at it - i thought about what this new coworker’s view of me might be, and i realized for me, it seems to be about self-perception.  i don’t feel skinny, but others who know me or don’t know me may think i am.  which is weird…since i don’t necessarily view myself that way.  however, i know that i am in a healthy bmi for my height!  and that i’ve lost weight to get to that point with changing my eating and exercising!!!  (yeah me!)  but my goal is to be skinny! 

but what does that mean?  i have an idea in my head as to how i will measure that for me.  but i don’t know if i’ll ever reach it (that’s for another post).

anyhow…it’s all about perspective.  and my own self-perspective may be quite different than others’ perspective of me…

ok…that’s my ramble…

crazy dog is wearing me out!!!  yes…puppy is crazy dog!!!  i don’t even know where to begin.  however for starters - i can’t wait for her to be potty trained!!!  she keeps peeing in her crate!  so not only does it take time to clean her crate, she winds up sitting in it and she winds up being stinky!!!  and to stop waking up several times throughout the nite barking - because i wake up almost as soon as she starts making noise.  and of course, i’m the one who hears her, wakes up, and takes her out.

oh…and playing…she thinks she should bite everything.  that, and EAT everything.  every time i turn around…something is in her mouth!!!  i can’t wait until her last vaccines so i can start taking her for walks!!!  that, and for her to stop peeing in her crate.

oh…and i think the other nite, when she was playing, i really think she was trying to herd DH & myself, given that she’s a herding dog.  we were running around in the yard, and she kept jumping up to nip / bit at our knees & calves.  it was funny…but it wasn’t.

regardless, when she’s being good, she’s really cute and funny!!!  and we really do love her…

i’ll have a more profound post later…i’m still working on that one…

note to self:

exercising at 6 am is not a good idea when you haven’t slept all night.  even if you change your work out plans to walk instead of run.

why?

you’ll drop your ipod.

you’ll drop your big ol’ butt.

you’ll drop your cell phone.

and you won’t do this all at once!!!  it will happen over the course of your 40 minute walk.

and you’ll have road rash all over your hands, forearm, and knee.

and it’ll hurt.

and you’ll want to cry all morning long!

do you ever eat what’s on your plate just because it tastes so good!!!  that’s what happened to me last night.  went to a greek place near the house - i usually get a small salad & small pizza.  the salad was ok b/c the dressing wasn’t blended well enough - it was all oil.  i should’ve sent it back, but i just nibbled at it.  the pizza was yum-dilli-icious!!!  i ate the last of it because IT TASTED SOOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!!!!!!!  i wasn’t that hungry, and my stomach knew it.  but my taste buds just wanted to eat becaues the taste was so yummy to me.  i’ve done this before.  even if it’s food that is not that bad for me - if i’m heading towards being full, but the taste is just yummy, i’ll keep on eating.  why do i do this?!?!?!  ugh….i guess the good thing is that it’s not something that i do all the time.  just occasionally…and last night was one of those nights.

then i was making a new recipe last night.  it wasn’t something i had ever eaten/tasted before, either.  so i kept nibbling on that as i was cooking / baking.  i think the recipe came out fine - i just don’t know if i love it.  DH tasted it - he said it tasted like bubbe’s cookies.  it was an extra for tonight.  dinner is at MIL’s house tonight…i made what i was asked / volunteered to make.  and if i have time or if there is a recipe i want to try, i’ll usually make something “extra” to bring.  i never say i’m bringing it - that way if i don’t get around to it, i haven’t committed to it. 

ok…have to go wake up DH and take care of puppy and get dressed for the day…have a good hump day, y’all!!!

i find myself wanting to snack around 3PM.  just about every day.  and i don’t want the healthiest of snacks - you know, fruit, veggies, yogurt, string cheese, etc.  i want the dessert type snacks.  i figure if i really wanted to, i can convince myself that i want something healthy.  but i don’t.  i tried today….i brought a peach & a sting cheese and a 100 calorie hostess chocolate cakes.  i did try the peach first.  but since i’ve only eaten one, i’m stll kinda picky about ‘em.  and this one was not ripe enough for me.  :(  so i went for the hostess snacks.  oh well…

anyhow…i’ve been cooking ALL night.  first dinner for tonight.  and then stuff for dinner wednesday night.  and i’ll be cooking all night tomorrow night, too.   again, for wednesday night.  so i’m outta here to spend some time w/DH.  that, and puppy is driving us crazy…she needs some attention too! 

lots of stuff to share…but not sure how much rambling i can do right now…

so, after 3 weeks of not going to meetings/weigh in (was out of town the past 3 weekends), i was down 2.8 AND…….made my 10%!!!  woo hoo!!! 

now, don’t get me wrong, i will relish all of that.  here’s the shocker - i haven’t been on plan or exercising these past 3 weeks.  huh?!?!?!  i think i got in 2 official work outs in that time.  and, the first couple of days of vacation were definitely filled with lots of walking.  LOTS!!!  i have no problem walking a lot, but we walked so much that my feet hurt!  as well as my legs a little.  and we did a leisurely couple mile hike down the top of the mountain.  and the first weekend i missed WI i was running around for 2 days straight helping my mom clean up the house and get it ready for people to come over.  so i guess i got a lot of movement in during all the time i was out.  but the eating…well, i know i did enjoy myself during all of the time i was out of town.  AND, i ate chinese food last night.  i know…the night before WI is not the best time to eat chinese!  hello SALT!!!  but i did…

ok…with that…i started talking to my leader about goal weight.  she said i could easily do it now.  i’m towards the top of healthy BMI - 23.8.  however, i was initially making my goal 5 lbs lighter than i am (BMI - 22.9), with the hopes of going even lower than that.  hmmm…i may have my current weight as my goal weight.  i just hope i keep motivated to keep losing.  esp since my ultimate ultimate ultimate goal is to get into a bikini.  but that would definitely require lots of weight training.  i have a belly.  i will probably always have a belly and don’t know that i’ll ever be comfortable in a bikini.  my mom is built the same way.  but that’s my own demon to deal with. 

don’t get me wrong - i am VERY happy that i made the 10% and that i am at my current weight.  i will definitely pat myself on the back and NOT ruin it by eating lots of chocolate!!!  :)  he he he

happy weekend to all! 

so…i attempted running this morning, for the first time in almost 4 weeks!!!  wasn’t sure how it was going to be.  it wasn’t that bad.  then again, i didn’t try to run what i had been running before!  i told myself - ok, let’s try 1 mile (ok…really it’s .9 until my turn around) and see how that goes.  it went well!!!  and then i said - it has to be at least 10 min.  ok…well, since i’m not the world’s fastest runner, i easily did 10 minutes by the time i got to the turn around.  then i said - go until the next stop light - which is about 1.5 miles total.  and i did it!!!  then i walked the rest of the way home.  i’m already feeling it this afternoon.  while i’m not quite looking forward to building up my endurance and distance again, it did feel good to be running!

i’m not quite mentally there in regards to counting points.  i guess it’s b/c i ate decently while on vacation, and home scale didn’t move!!!  which is good, but also not good.  (still haven’t had an official WI)  so i’m trying to get back into the counting points…then again, september is going to be another crazy month for me!  i know i’ll be surrounded by several of my favorite foods during this month, as well as another weekend away, as well as several birthday celebrations this month (3 in my family!).  so if i eat well (small bites of everything and not stuffing myself) and don’t count points and get back into exercising, i’m hoping that will work for this month.  granted, i still want to lose more weight - ugh…just trying to get completely motivated.

on that front, we might be getting an eliptical machine for the house!!!  i kinda hope so!!!  i think i’d use it quite a bit…again, we’re still talking about it.  it’s definitely a “we’ll see” type of purchase.

oh…and i ate my first peach today!  yes, i’m an adult and i’ve never had a peach…not too bad.

ok…this is my back to posting entry.  i’ve been mia for a few weeks, and i need to get back on track.  it started when DH was out of town and i was alone w/puppy and got a cold!  :(  and puppy wore me out.  i didn’t exercise that week, but kept up w/eating well!  :)  then as soon as DH walked in the door, i told him we had to go out of town for a funeral.  :(  i didn’t eat so well then…it’s hard when there is food around you everywhere and you just nibble.  however, the home scale was nice to me and said i didn’t really gain.  oh - and no exercise during that time.  :(  then, a few days later, we went on our planned vacation!!!  uh - not so good on the eating front, but i was ok w/that.  i enjoyed myself.  in fact, the first few days, all we did was walk everywhere, so i think that helped.  now, it’s back to getting things on track.  home scale is my friend, but my WI is usually on saturdays, so i have no idea what that will say.  it’s going to be hard to get back on track b/c i’ve enjoyed not worrying about points.  i’ve already seen it b/c i’ve had 3 or 4 meals at home already….i’m at a happy weight, BUT, i want to lose more!!!  so, we’ll see what happens….and, i’m starting to think about adding weights or working w/a trainer.  i know i need to - there are definitely some areas that wiggle & jiggle more than i want them to!!!  just trying to get back into “normal” life, whatever that is!!!

while away, i had some NSVs  :)  and realized what some of my comfort/trigger foods are!  which is good…and bad…but the food is SOOOOOOO good to me!!!  DH had made a comment, and i realized - hello, comfort food!  :)  thank goodness i’m not around it that often…