Category Archive

Sunday and Monday night I had a terrible case of insomnia. I have coined it Monkey Mind Insomnia. I was first introduced to the “monkey mind” while reading the book Eat, Pray, Love. When you are trying to meditate if things keep popping into your head you have a Monkey Mind. So you can imagine that Monkey Mind Insomnia is lying in bed trying to sleep but things keep popping into your head. While I do struggle with this on a regular basis, the past couple days have been horrible. But luckily I got a great nights sleep last night.

So I did hide my scale. I put it in the closet of my kids room. Since my temptations to weigh myself usually come when they are sleeping I figured that was the best place. It feels liberating to not be a slave to the scale.

Lately I have been looking into Paul McKenna’s “I Can Make You Thin”. He had a series of shows on TLC…which I only caught the snippet of one but it intrigued me so I checked out his Web site (http://www.mckenna.com/Default.aspx). I am planning to get his book/CD when it becomes available but there is a lot of information on the Web site about the Four Golden Rules. The concept is very freeing…

1. Eat when you are hungry.

2. Eat what you want.

3. Eat consciously and enjoy every mouthful.

4. When you think you are full, stop eating.

Simple, right. Almost too simple it seems. But I have been trying to incorporate these principles the past two weeks. I can tell you for sure that my stomach has shrunk…along with my appetite. Mentally I am so much happier because there are no foods that are forbidden. The bogey is how the scale is going to react. I am going to weigh in at the center tomorrow so I will let you know.

Yeah I know. It seems like I am writing this type of post every couple weeks. Last 1 1/2 weeks I was in training and since I usually do my blogging at work, I once again got out of the groove.

I really need some goals to get my focus back. I haven’t exercised in quite a while. So I think that will be my topic for tomorrow.

As far as weight…I am officially at 208. Inching closer to the wonderful milestone of dropping under 200. My eating has been a little erratic. I am trying to find a balance between not feeling deprived yet eating healthier. I will write more on this later also.

So this post is quite random but I intend to be back tomorrow with some goals.

Well I didn’t exercise last night. I am still in a lot of pain from my spill down the stairs on Sunday. I think it would be wise to take tonight off also and shoot for Wednesday. Need to give my body time to heal.

Looking forward to the final Biggest Loser show. Like many others I am totally inspired by Ali. She is my idol. Here is hoping she wins it all.

Good news–it’s Friday

Bad news–it rained/sleeted/snowed much of yesterday afternoon/night and the forecast is for 3-4 inches of accumulated snow

BLECH

Did I mention I am ready for spring-the kind of spring that lets me be outside, open the windows in my house,….

Well I guess I shouldn’t set my expectations too high…I do live in Minnesota.

I officially hate my scale…I can’t get it to read consistently so I am never sure if I am getting an accurate read. This was okay when I was going to the center 3x per week–since I use their scale as my official weight. But now, on my break my scale is driving me crazy. I step on and off it at least 3 times in the morning to try and figure out what I weigh. Readings yesterday–206, 206, 206. This morning–207, 210, 210. Make up your mind for cripes sake. Is my irritation strong enough for me to chuck this one and go buy another one? Not sure, yet…I head back to the center in 10 days so it will all depend if I am in the store and remember my irritation.

Anyway, hope some of you are having a sunny, warm Friday and for those who are not, well I feel your pain.

So something I have allowed myself to “indulge” in on my break has been Dove Dark Chocolate. I have a bag tucked away in the cupboard. When I am reaching a crescendo of emotion…usually around the kids…I allow myself to reach for one. I unwrap it and then let it melt in my mouth–savoring the taste and creaminess. I also notice the calming effect it has on me. Usually one is enough to do the trick but never  more than two. The key for me is letting it melt in my mouth….if I “snarf” it I eat a lot more. This is true for all types of foods but candy is one of the worse.

On an unrelated note we have to do some crazy reapairs on our house. Our dining room which at one time was a 3 season porch is falling off our house. So we will be ripping up the floor and installing jacks. And while were at it we are going to rip out the ceiling (I never liked it anyway) and add more insulation–you would not believe how cold this room gets in the winter. My goal is to be in my “zen” mode and not let this project freak me out. HA-good luck with that one right?!

That was the result of my weigh-in yesterday.

I am actually going to head in again today. I need the accountability right now.  And right now they have a promotion going where you can earn extra “weight loss” weeks by coming into the center more than 3 times a week. Perhaps this will be what I need to get over my lack of motivation.

I really want to get out of the 220’s this week. I am close enough that I know I can do it if I stick to plan and keep focused on my exercise.

I am at home with my preschooler today…taking her to the Dr soon to have a suspicious cough checked out. But I have welcomed the time at home…it has allowed me to catch up on some things–which will translate into a feeling of less stress.

I have been inspired reading the weekly goals others have posted. Hopefully it will help me refocus and get out of my funk–

1) Continue working out for 20 minutes in the AM. Three times this week do crunches and arm curls before bed.

2) Do something active with the kids this weekend.

3) Eat two different kinds a veggies a day.

Yes that is my lament this morning…why oh why do I do this??? The “this” I am referring to is the 5-6 mini browinies I ate last night. I had already strayed from this weeks very strict plan on Saturday night by eating the bread served with my dinner at the restaurant. But did I really need to throw in the towel last night at 7pm??? I swear I have Hand to Mouth Complusion–once it gets in my hand…it must go in my mouth.

So I think there are a couple things that I can learn from this slip-up (which I have to keep reminding myself is all it is)….progress not perfection.

First of all–don’t tempt myself so much. For the bread eaten on Saturday…I could have asked them not to bring it at all. Second…the kids didn’t need brownies (who were you fooling by making them). Ironically, while I don’t find my DH “policing” me at all pleasant I think his presence (having another adult around) reminds me to police myself.

Second–you must be diligent about updating your food diary. At least after every meal. The longer you go without writing things down the more likely you are to want to overindulge.

My final observation is that I notice I am more willing to step off the path when others notice and compliment me on my loss or if my clothes are starting to be baggy. In other words whenever I have made significant forward progress. Why do I try to sabotage myself? If I truly want to reach my goal weight then I need keep the focus on that.

Onward and downward!

Last night I had a Girls Night Out. We ate dinner at Benihana’s–YUMMY. In addition to the two alcoholic drinks, off plan foods included the chicken fried rice and the onion soup. To be truthful I hadn’t planned on the alcoholic drinks  or  the onion soup. But we had to wait over an hour for a table so waiting at the bar precipitated the alcoholic drinks and the wait=mega hungry helped me eat the onion soup. But in the good news department. I ate half my rice…that was it and I ordered chicken and shrimp…after the shrimp I was STUFFED so I stopped eating. I STOPPED EATING. I never would have done that before. I am not calling this a cheat. It wasn’t, I consciously decided and planned for this outing. And it was worth it.

Headed to the grocery store today…stock up on food for my 7-day break. Also need to take the 5 year old shopping for a new winter jacket…hoping to find a good deal since it is late in the season.

So I have wanted to try Yoga for quite a while. I printed off a Morning/Evening Workout for yoga on about.com yesterday. I thought I would start by doing it before bed each night.

I just have to say that Yoga is hard and whoever does Yoga and makes it look easy…I am in awe of you. I was only able to successfully complete one of the poses. I will definitely be working up to this.

<>First things first, stopped in the center on the way home from work and had dropped 2lbs. YEAH!

<><> So I am on a mission to get to my 20lb lost milestone. I was examining earlier this week what I could do differently to acheive this goal. I decided that exercise would where I would focus…I am already working at incorporating a lot of changes in my eating habits so I thought exercise would be a logical place to focus. Up until this week I have been trying to work out 3x per week for 20 minutes on my elliptical trainer. I am solely focusing on fat burn so it is a very low intensity workout. This week I decided to up my program to 6x per week (Monday through Saturday, Sunday for rest).

<>So this is the fifth day in a row…waking up at 5:30am and working out while the rest of the house slumbers. My theory with working out in the morning is that the only excuse I have for not going to work out is that I am too tired…too which my mental response is “Then go to bed earlier!” But now that I have lost some pounds and am eating healthier I have a ton more energy. This helps me wake up and head right downstairs to work out (and the losing a couple pounds gives even a bit more motivation).

I am very optimistic that this is the start of a new habit.

<>

So some may find “I’m Coming Out” a bit odd for a title for a weight loss blog…especially if you take it out of context. So where did the title come from. When thinking about how I would feel once I started losing weight and when I finally reached my goal weight the song I’m Coming Out performed by Diana Ross came to mind.

I’m coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
I’m coming out
I want the world to know
I got to let it show There’s a new me coming out
And I just had to live
And I wanna give
I’m completely positive
I think this time around
I am gonna do it
Like you never do it
Like you never knew it
Ooh, I’ll make it through

The time has come for me
To break out of the shell
I have to shout
That I’m coming out

I’m coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
I’m coming out
I want the world to know
I got to let it show
I’ve got to show the world
All that I wanna be
And all my abilities
There’s so much more to me
Somehow, I have to make them
Just understand
I got it well in hand
And, oh, how I’ve planned
I’m spreadin’ love
There’s no need to fear
And I just feel so good
Everytime I hear:

I’m coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
I’m coming out
I want the world to know
I got to let it show

And keeping with the theme when I reach my target weight I am going to host a huge party…invite all my friends and family. It will be my coming out party.

Well here goes nothing, right!?

Totally new to the bloggin’ world but this site inspired me and I think it is a great extension of the journal I am keeping recording my journey.

And speaking of the journey I should start out by telling a bit about myself. I am 32, married, 2 kids (3 and 5). I work full-time. I am 5′ 4″ and when I started my weight loss journey at the beginning of this year I weighed 244. My goal currently is to reach 140. This is a number I haven’t seen in 10+ years. I have decided to use Slim 4 Life as my guide for the weight loss. Today, I am at 231 (so down 13 lbs from my starting weight ) which I am very happy with. And I am learning how to balance my diet and incorporating exercise into my life.

I look forward to sharing my struggles and triumphs.