Eating mindlessly…that is the bottom line-it doesn’t matter if we are talking eating for hunger or eating emotionally. I am not in touch with my real hunger or what it feels like to be satisfied. I am getting better though.
So my schedule opened up yesterday afternoon and I took the opportunity to go weigh-in at the center. I am at 204.4…40 pounds since I started in January. Happy dance! More importantly I am only 5 pounds away from crossing the 200 threshold and 10 pounds away from 1/2 way to goal. Exciting times!
Sunday and Monday night I had a terrible case of insomnia. I have coined it Monkey Mind Insomnia. I was first introduced to the “monkey mind” while reading the book Eat, Pray, Love. When you are trying to meditate if things keep popping into your head you have a Monkey Mind. So you can imagine that Monkey Mind Insomnia is lying in bed trying to sleep but things keep popping into your head. While I do struggle with this on a regular basis, the past couple days have been horrible. But luckily I got a great nights sleep last night.
So I did hide my scale. I put it in the closet of my kids room. Since my temptations to weigh myself usually come when they are sleeping I figured that was the best place. It feels liberating to not be a slave to the scale.
Lately I have been looking into Paul McKenna’s “I Can Make You Thin”. He had a series of shows on TLC…which I only caught the snippet of one but it intrigued me so I checked out his Web site (http://www.mckenna.com/Default.aspx). I am planning to get his book/CD when it becomes available but there is a lot of information on the Web site about the Four Golden Rules. The concept is very freeing…
1. Eat when you are hungry.
2. Eat what you want.
3. Eat consciously and enjoy every mouthful.
4. When you think you are full, stop eating.
Simple, right. Almost too simple it seems. But I have been trying to incorporate these principles the past two weeks. I can tell you for sure that my stomach has shrunk…along with my appetite. Mentally I am so much happier because there are no foods that are forbidden. The bogey is how the scale is going to react. I am going to weigh in at the center tomorrow so I will let you know.
So I am a couple days late but I have been thinking about my May Goals. I am trying to think about the things I would do to lose weight in a more holistic way. Meaning that the things I would do to lose weight is just one component of a healthy, balanced life. I seem to struggle with balance all the time. I am sure many of us do. When I am out of balance I start to “compartmentalize” my life–I start slowly disconnecting myself from different areas until I feel in control again and then begin adding things back in. This is a viscous up and down cycle…much like my weight loss. Dare I say these are connected?
So I have created four catagories for my goals:
Feeding my body
- Take my dietary supplements
- Eat 2 fruits and 2 veggies
- Eat conscioulsly and stop when full
Loving my heart
- Do 3 cardio workouts per week
- Do 3 “other” workouts per week
- Do evening strength set 4 times per week
Nurturing my spirit
- Read each night before bed
- Scrap 2 times per week
Serving my family
- Spend 15 minutes per day on “essentials” (laundry, dishes, mail)
- Work on a house project 1 time per week
I am grading myself on a good, okay, needs work scale. I know I won’t be perfect but by looking at my scorecard if I am feeling out of balance I am hoping this might help me determine where I am needing to focus.
Weigh In
So I did step on the scale this morning. It is 205. Still making downward progress. Crossing the 200 threshold in the near future is definitely probable which is very exciting. This week I am resolving to not step on my home scale at all. I may have to hide it somewhere inconvenient in my house. Weighing myself has become a compulsion.
Yeah I know. It seems like I am writing this type of post every couple weeks. Last 1 1/2 weeks I was in training and since I usually do my blogging at work, I once again got out of the groove.
I really need some goals to get my focus back. I haven’t exercised in quite a while. So I think that will be my topic for tomorrow.
As far as weight…I am officially at 208. Inching closer to the wonderful milestone of dropping under 200. My eating has been a little erratic. I am trying to find a balance between not feeling deprived yet eating healthier. I will write more on this later also.
So this post is quite random but I intend to be back tomorrow with some goals. 
Is it irony that while watching Biggest Loser I was eating a bowl of ice cream. Yesterday could be classified as a binging snack day. NOT GOOD!
Biggest Loser totally rocked…I loved it that Bernie took the at-home prize and Ali won the overall! That girl is one hot chick. She is totally my inspiration. I am going to print out a photo of here before and after pics and post them by my elliptical.
I am finally feeling better after my “little” tumble. I have some very nasty bruises but the all-the-time pain is subsiding. Definitely getting on the elliptical tonight.
Well I didn’t exercise last night. I am still in a lot of pain from my spill down the stairs on Sunday. I think it would be wise to take tonight off also and shoot for Wednesday. Need to give my body time to heal.
Looking forward to the final Biggest Loser show. Like many others I am totally inspired by Ali. She is my idol. Here is hoping she wins it all.
So this weekend I couldn’t get into my blog…we got a new computer recently and I couldn’t remember my password. So here is a collection of things I thought about this weekend.
Saturday’s Workout
So I am on my elliptical doing 33 minutes on the Random setting. Totally rockin’ it and I am sweating. Then I notice wow, I stink! Which translates the workout clothes need to go in the wash. Then I realize since I started working out regularly this is the first time I have needed to throw the workout clothes in the was because they stink. I must have really worked it this week. Which I did–I am following this 6 week workout plan which is really pushing me to the next level. Then as my mind starts to wander I start to think about how much I hate the feeling of sweating. Which is why I loved to be a swimmer–you sweat but you can’t tell. But I wanted to change my negative thoughts about sweating to something positive so I am telling myself that each sweat drop represents one fat molecule. I was thinking “bring on the sweat” by the end of my workout.
Great Book
I have to recommend a book–Mindless Eating by Brian Wasinik (http://www.mindlesseating.org/index2.htm)
This book will definitely be one of my rotating regular reads. It talks about what the author calls the Mindless Margin–the 100-200 calories that we each day that we could cut out without being hungry. It chronicles the authors and others research and then puts together practical suggestions. Check it out.
Biffing it on the Stairs
So I am on my way downstairs to check on the laundry…and I lose my footing. Well you know the rest of the story…luckily nothing broken. Just a lot of soreness and bruising. Which meant no workout. Hopefully tonight I will feel good enough to work out.
T-Minus 7 days…
Til I am back on plan. My “break” probably lasted one week to long but I am fired up to get started again and knock out my next 30 lbs.
Good news–it’s Friday
Bad news–it rained/sleeted/snowed much of yesterday afternoon/night and the forecast is for 3-4 inches of accumulated snow
BLECH
Did I mention I am ready for spring-the kind of spring that lets me be outside, open the windows in my house,….
Well I guess I shouldn’t set my expectations too high…I do live in Minnesota.
I officially hate my scale…I can’t get it to read consistently so I am never sure if I am getting an accurate read. This was okay when I was going to the center 3x per week–since I use their scale as my official weight. But now, on my break my scale is driving me crazy. I step on and off it at least 3 times in the morning to try and figure out what I weigh. Readings yesterday–206, 206, 206. This morning–207, 210, 210. Make up your mind for cripes sake. Is my irritation strong enough for me to chuck this one and go buy another one? Not sure, yet…I head back to the center in 10 days so it will all depend if I am in the store and remember my irritation.
Anyway, hope some of you are having a sunny, warm Friday and for those who are not, well I feel your pain.
So something I have allowed myself to “indulge” in on my break has been Dove Dark Chocolate. I have a bag tucked away in the cupboard. When I am reaching a crescendo of emotion…usually around the kids…I allow myself to reach for one. I unwrap it and then let it melt in my mouth–savoring the taste and creaminess. I also notice the calming effect it has on me. Usually one is enough to do the trick but never more than two. The key for me is letting it melt in my mouth….if I “snarf” it I eat a lot more. This is true for all types of foods but candy is one of the worse.
On an unrelated note we have to do some crazy reapairs on our house. Our dining room which at one time was a 3 season porch is falling off our house. So we will be ripping up the floor and installing jacks. And while were at it we are going to rip out the ceiling (I never liked it anyway) and add more insulation–you would not believe how cold this room gets in the winter. My goal is to be in my “zen” mode and not let this project freak me out. HA-good luck with that one right?!