Do you ever find yourself critiquing what other’s around you are eating? I feel obsessed at times. I find myself running the numbers on all the food items I see throughout the day and I see a lot of food go by. I know it’s a weird obsession but there it is. It’s become second nature to auto calculate everything!
Occasionally, though I find myself thinking poorly about a colleague of mine. I know this is particularly shallow of me and I try not to pass judgement, after all I’m overweight too (which makes this whole thing worse).
I guess it’s lack of ownership in one’s life that gets to me a bit. I find it difficult to be sympathetic to many of her issues as she continually makes poor choices and refuses to take responsibility for those choices. There’s always an excuse and it spans her entire life, not just health/food challenges.
I’ve analyzed her meals, they alone would put me way over the edge! At work she eats roughly 18 pts for breakfast and 20-40 pts in a fast food or ethnic lunch. I have yet to see her eat a fruit or a vegetable in the year we’ve worked together. This can’t help her health condition or weight problem.
To be honest I’m surprised that she’s not heavier than she is and I imagine that she has to feel like crap most of the time.
She’s brought up her health a couple of times and I try to be a good sounding board for her. Though I can tell she’s absolutely non-committal about making any changes in her life at this point. I feel bad about this but I confess I don’t want to spend the time trying to educate her about healthy eating habits or listening to her overweight woes. I know she’s not ready, she’s not motivated enough yet, and she’s not interested in hearing it anyway. So why bother?
I’ve also caught myself saying ”see what she’s eating, it does put you over the edge, (and I can’t believe I’m going to say this last part) it does that to you.” It’s almost like her bad habits feed my good ones. I seriously don’t want to feed off someone else’s issues! It makes me a shallow person and a bottom feeder. I try to stop these negative thoughts and focus on how good food makes me feel better and re-focus by looking at good examples instead. What I’m trying to say is I feel guilty about these thoughts I have.
Do you any of you struggle with negative thoughts like this too? How do you change your focus?
My friend and I could have wrote this exactly about another co-worker. Except she is also doing weight watchers, but doesn’t realize what she is eating and wonders why she can not lose weight. We both have to sit back and laugh, because she just doesn’t get it. She has even admitted to us we she has a gain or stayed the same “I must have cheated too much this week.” It is hard to not have negative thoughts when they complain about things they just don’t realize they are doing, but they definitely do not want to hear the truth. You are not alone on the negative thoughts.
Amy
August 24, 2007 @ 3:35 pmOkay did you go to lunch with us today?! This was me and has been me with a co-worker here. She has been doing weight watchers for a year and hasn’t lost much in the last 9 months but I watch her self sabotage her efforts and I keep obsessing. Thanks for the wake-up call!
August 24, 2007 @ 3:54 pmI do find myself noticing what other people are eating (mostly my husband) much more often. And I more easily see the correlation between what they put in their mouth, and how they look/feel etc. But you are right… she’s not ready and she won’t change until she IS ready. I’ve talked about losing weight for YEARS, but I just became ready at the end of 2006.
I don’t think you’re a bottom feeder for noticing this. Since we are much more conscious of what we eat, it makes us notice what others are eating as well. That’s all. That certainly doesn’t make you a bad person. And it’s good to make those observations so that you don’t go back to bad habits.
August 24, 2007 @ 6:10 pmDo you work in my office? There are a few women who actually joined WW yet never go to the meetings and all they do is eat unhealthy foods (I’ve seen them) and complain about their weight and how they can’t lose. Well you can’t lose if you don’t TRY. It’s tough and I feel your frustration. Maybe it is shallow but I think that getting healthier myself has made me more aware of my surroundings and those around me. My mom does this too. She is on WW for the umpteenth time and cheats 3 days of the week (the weekends) because “they don’t count” yet complains that she is fat and can’t lose weight. I finally told her that she is not allowed to complain to me if she is not trying. Eating cookies (and not LF/RF or 100 cal, I mean COOKIES) everyday means that you lose the option to bitch about not losing. Of course you probably don’t want to say that to your coworker so I say just ignore her. Know that YOU are trying and making healthier choices and what she does is her business (unless of course she is dumping her business on you). The next time she starts to complain just nod, excuse yourself and walk away or change the subject. Good luck!
August 24, 2007 @ 6:19 pmYou shouldn’t be feeling bad about yourself because of these thoughts you have… Really! I think everyone has them, more or less often. I must be a split personality because i sometimes catch myself sabotageing my efforts and other times analysing what others eat and how they eat it.
August 25, 2007 @ 6:26 amBut i don’t think it’s that shallow, it’s probably natural that you grow more aware of what you’re putting in your mouth and thank goodness for that, otherwise you’d never change your old habits, would you?
Cheers xxx
I am not sure if you should feel guilty, but I wouldn’t.
After all you’re not doing a bad thing, however, I think you should try and explain her what effect bad food has on people.
Alex,
August 26, 2007 @ 5:26 pmSocialPacks.com