Big and Beautiful

Just a warning - you may learn a little bit more about me than you ever wanted to.

 I’ve always been a bit of a prude, and because of this I HATE lingerie shopping, though it be a necessary evil.  Fortunately, everyonce in a while my mom passes a Penny’s box my way and says, “here’s some underclothes I ordered for you.” (Ok, yes, I’m 24 I really should be doing that myself, but I’m just too cheap, and have I said I hate lingerie shopping?) I think part of this is a self-image issue…. a lot of people use panties and bras to make themselves look and feel sexy, and I can just hear people think as they walk past me, “What’s she looking at that for? Nothing she can wear will make her look good.”

Well, tonight I wanted to procrastinate writing a paper, so I go to Wal-Mart and where do I end up? The lingerie department.  Well… they had some nighties that were silky and felt really good (I’ve always been a sucker for silky things, my pillow cases all growing up were made of the stuff). They had them in pj’s (which is normally what I wear), long night gowns and short night gowns.  I’ve actually been feeling good about myself lately, noticing places where I think the fat is disappearing (like my waist and my butt [thank god!]) and I guess this helped possess me to buy one of the long nighties. Only I bought it in a size too small - on purpose.  I figured I could hang it in my closet, and that way when I finally get down to that weight, I could really feel good about myself.  LIke I said, this may seem a little silly, but I havn’t owned any sexy clothes ever in my life, period. I’ve never had a serious boyfriend (ok, I’ll admit the only boyfriend I’ve ever had lived four hours away and he asked me in a letter if I’d be his girlfriend… then I didn’t hear from him again for the next 2 or 3 years).

Well, where this is going is that I went ahead and put it on when I got home, ya know, just for kicks (since I wasn’t expecting it to fit). What dya know?  It actually didn’t look half bad.  It’s a little tighter than I normally wear my clothes, but I’m guilty of baggy clothes.  I still put it in the back of my closet, and am going to wait a little longer to actually wear it, since the whole purpose of buying it was for a little motivation. I figured I’d save it for my 180-goal reward. 

 I still need something for 200 though.