I’ve been meaning to write a post about some of the struggles I’ve gone through in the past couple of weeks, and I’ve been having the hardest time trying to articulate them. So I’m going to just tell you a story about three girls: the dieter, the health nut, and the foodie.

The foodie was always the life of the party. She loved food…loved cook, loved to feed others, and most of all loved to eat. Her creations were always a hit with family and neighbors. She had a tendancy to be a snob about food…only the best quality ingredients went into her dishes and only the tastiest food passed her lips.

The health nut loved to shop at farmer’s markets and natural food stores. She would get excited about the nutritional content of everything and took great pride in sitting down to a high fiber, high protein meal brimming over with vegetables. She didn’t count calories, but was extremely suspicious of processed starch and saturated fat…only sprouted grain breads and super lean meats passed muster.

The dieter was a numbers girl. For her, it was all about the calories. If something was high in volume and low in calories, the dieter was all over it.

The three girls had a lot in common: they all loved fresh fruits and veggies from the farmer’s market, they all hated processed food, and they all believed in the importance of cooking for themselves so that they knew what went into their food. For awhile, they got along brilliantly. Working together, they constructed a tasty, nutritious, low calorie diet that slowly but surely made the extra weight melt off.

Unfortunately, the weight loss eventually slowed, and the girls started to fight. First, the dieter freaked out. She started snapping at the other two, demanding smaller portion sizes and leaner foods. She would sit in a corner and beat herself up whenever the foodie served her lean pork chops…she just knew she should be eating chicken breast instead! She would freak out if she didn’t know the amount of olive oil the health nut had put on her spinach and would refuse to eat the large portion that was set in front of her. The dieter demanded that the other girls go on an extremely strict low calorie diet. Needless to say, they weren’t happy with this. When the dieter gained control, weight loss tended to resume. But it was hard for the other girls to feel happy about that. Eating with the dieter was a joyless experience, and her stringent ways had a tendancy to cause muscle loss rather than fat loss.

After this, the foodie demanded to do all the cooking. Reluctantly catering to the low calorie wishes of the dieter, she would serve small portions of rich food…high in taste, low in calories. But the health nut was far from pleased. Where were her triple size portions of vegetables? Where was her sprouted grain bread? The health nut seriously doubted that the foodie’s dishes were adequately nutritious.

When the health nut managed to get control of the kitchen, food was nutritious and portions were never small. Unfortunately, the health nut’s singular insistence on only the leanest and healthiest foods available left the other girls feeling somewhat deprived. Sometimes, a little butter or chocolate goes a long way. And whoever told her that a mixture of vegetable puree, egg whites and raw oats made a good pancake batter clearly lacked taste buds.

The cycle would repeat itself over and over, each girl doing her best to gain control of the kitchen as often as possible. They didn’t know how to get back to their old compromise place, where food was low calorie, but satisfying to body, mind and taste buds. They’re still trying to work out a workable compromise. I can say that the dieter has finally admitted that she needs a few more calories than she previously thought, given all the exercise she’s been doing. But as for a more complete compromise…we’ll just have to wait and see.

I’ve been having a little bit too much fun with my Ellie Krieger cookbook the last few days. I’ve eaten moderately and well within my allotted calories, and I haven’t gone overboard on junk, but I’ve been slacking off a bit with vegetables and whole grains and I’ve been eating a little bit too much sugar and white flour. I don’t have any regrets, but I need to return my focus to really clean eating for the next few days.

However, during my “feasting,” I discovered some really tasty, husband-approved healthy recipes that I thought I would share with you. The recipes are light, but don’t taste like health food.

My first discovery was a delicious pumpkin flan. This is definitely not an everyday food, but I know that sometimes I want to treat myself, but don’t necessarily want to flood my body with saturated fat or sugar or chemicals. I rarely eat dessert (other than fruit or a little dark chocolate), but I still like having the option of giving myself a nice moderate treat every now and then. This is only about 100 calories per serving, and the pumpkin gives you a good dose of fiber and nutrients. It’s sweet, but not too sweet (one of my main complaints about standard desserts), and the eggs make it rich and filling.

First, spray four 4 oz. ramekins with nonstick spray. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Then, make the caramel by melting three tbsp brown sugar and 2 tbsp water in a small sauce pan. Stir the whole time as it thickens. Once it is a nice syrupy consistency, spoon it into the ramekins. Work fast, because the stuff will harden quickly. Set those aside.

Next, mix together 1/4 cup + 2 tbsp pumpkin puree, 1 egg yolk, 1 whole egg, 2 more tbsp brown sugar, cinnamon, ginger and nutmeg.

For the next step, the recipe called for a mix of whole milk and evaporated milk. I had neither of those things, so I just added nonfat milk to a saucepan and reduced it until I had about 3/4 cup of nice thickened milk. (I would guess I started with about 1 cup…maybe a bit more). Whatever you are using, heat it up in a saucepan and reduce it slightly, then add to the pumpkin mixture.

Spoon the mixture into the ramekins, then place the ramekins in a big baking dish. Fill the baking dish about halfway with boiling water…this will keep the edges from burning and will make it easier to remove the flans from the ramekins. Then, place the baking dish in the oven for about 35 minutes or until the custards are set.

You can eat these hot, but I much prefer them thoroughly chilled. Regardless, when you are ready to eat, run a sharp knife around the edge of the ramekin to loosen the flan, then invert onto a dessert plate. The caramel should run down all around the pumpkiny custard. Yummy!