Wow.  What a pick-me-up.  I’m feeling very, very down when I get online to blog…read a couple really nice comments from my wonderful blog support network (thank you all)…and I feel a little sunshine comin’ back into my heart, even though it’s almost the middle of the night!  Who needs drugs when you’ve got blogs?! Hee hee.

Today I felt sick all day long, kinda flu-ish and achy.  Luckily on non-shooting days, I work at home retouching portrait orders, so sat here in my PJ’s, working all day.  And I felt a little sorry for myself all day too…you know those moods, right?  And I decided that I DESERVED to just eat all day long.  So I did!  Not horrible, but way over points, and way too much.  I don’t miss this icky full feeling.  At least I’m full of OK food, not junk food!  And tomorrow, I’ll be extra good and maybe exercise a little more to make it up.

Why is it, too, that when you feel icky anyway, things seem to just pile up?  A friend I’ve known since college (I graduated in the early 90’s) and whom I have not seen since my wedding 12 years ago decided to get in touch with me via e mail on a business matter. Without boring you all with details, thru a few e mails exchanged, I decided I did not want to do business with this friend and when I tried to help him find another photographer, he basically proceeded to rake me over the coals and totally criticize the way I choose to run my business, and stated that he was doing me a favor by considering me to shoot an event for him.  What a JERK.  I’ve known this guy for 15 or more years, even roomed with him and his wife at one point (she was my former roommate and totally a cool person) and I always respected them, and their opinions. It really really hurts my heart that now our once warm relationship–which the past several years has been reduced just to the annual Christmas Card–is probably dead in the water.  And I’m pissed, and I’m sad, and I’m glad I don’t have to deal with the little snit, and I even am probably feeling some sort of guilt in there somewhere–just because I’m a woman and a guilt magnet–and I hate it.  It feels good to vent here, where I know understanding will be found by those who read it.  I’m doing my best just to be non-chalant, forget it, blow it off, but for me, the queen of non-confrontation (which is why I love working for myself in a normally feel-good field of portrait photography) blowing off mean or hurtful words is a difficult thing to do.   I internalize a lot, especially hurt, (right now my stomach is hurting, kinda like a punch to the gut, and I feel tears just under the surface, like if you ran your fingernail lightly along my forearm, tears and feelings would come leaking out) and thats not good.  I had the hub just erase the emails, all of them, and I merely skimmed over the last one.  I’m not even going to reply.  This guy had the audacity to say I took “forever” to respond to the last one, all of a day or two!  Good hell, I was busy!  I have a life and it was the weekend!  Just wait…he doesn’t know what FOREVER is.  I just don’t want to obsess about it for days. 

So…blog friends, thank you.  Thank you for reading, and comismerating, for feeling the empathy that I know you do, and mostly just for letting me blog away about something that will soon be nothing.  I’m still sad, but I feel better just having vented…but still pissed and still smarting.  And I like my business, and my customers, and the fact that I can turn down a client if I just don’t feel good about a job.  I would have been highly stressed about it and likely taken advantage of, and that was a place I was not willing to go.  Not worth any amount of money!   So he can mega-byte me!  Hee hee.

Best of all, I’m blogging about my feelings, not covering them up with ice cream and cookies and brownie dough.  For me, that is true progress.  This introspection and self-analyzing and OWNING my feelings, even though they hurt–this is progress.  My earlier eat-fest today I can honestly say had nothing to do with this little cyber-fight with an ex-friend…so that’s progress.  (That was about feeling sick and just wanting comfort, not that I found it though.)   And it’s bedtime, and tomorrow I get to do a fun photo shoot with a bunch of high school cheerleaders,  which believe it or not can be really fun…and life goes on!

People change.  He married my roommate, whom I loved to pieces, way back when.  He was a geek then, but a cool geek.  Apparently, somewhere along the way, egotism and arrogance (maybe with age and experience?) joined the geekiness, and not in a good way.  Sad.

I’m glad I know who my true friends are, and that I have friends–many in the same field as me who will totally agree with me on this little incident–and a hub and a family who love and support me, 100%, all the time.  Best of all two cute little faces to wake up to in the morning and enjoy…and who love me even when I look ugly or yell!

Bye.

I never liked breakfast.  Even as a kid, typical breakfast food just never was tempting to me…sausage, bacon, eggs, waffle, pancakes…ick. I don’t hate them, I just never have gone out of my way to eat them.  HOWEVER, as I fixed my nice big bowl of maple and brown sugar flavored weight control oatmeal this morning, I realized just how much my habits have changed.  It’s only been a month and a few days, but I am now actually HUNGRY when I get up in the AM.  I actually look forward to some yummy, fiber rich, low fat, tasty breakfast.  I never used to eat until around 10 am, then it was junk, junk, junk.  I am getting healthy here, folks!  woohoo!

A good day today, as far as food goes…Healthy Choice frozen entree for lunch, yummy Japanese Yakisoba Noodles for dinner (homemade, with Chicken Breast and lots of onions, carrots, snowpeas, peas, and absolutely no added fat).  Easy on the snacks (veggies and fruit)

Last night, too, was an AMAZING dinner…homemade shrimp fajitas.  The hub loved it too!   Will share recipie:

Shrimp Fajitas (Works with chicken or beef too)

1/2 onion, sliced thin

1 tsp olive oil 

1-2 tb. ground Cumin

1 tsp. paprika

1 Tb. lime juice

salt to taste

Sliced red and green bell peppers

20 large frozen cooked  Shrimp

Fresh cilantro leaves, chopped

Tortillia, your  choice (I like white corn, hub chose multi-grain for his)

Thaw cooked shrimp according to package directions.  While thawing, heat oil in pan, add onion and stir to coat.  Add cumin, salt to taste, and enough water to cover and “stir fry” onion in oil/water combo until tenderized…adding more water if needed to avoid scorching.  (Keep an eye on it) When onion is cooked to desired tenderness, add paprika, lime juice, and peppers.  Cook a couple minutes until peppers begin to tenderize. 

Coat shrimp with a little more cumin, salt, and pepper.

Add shrimp to pan and stir just until heated thru. (Don’t overcook shrimp)

Sprinkle with fresh cilantro, and serve on warmed tortillias.  Yum!

I feel so good when I can serve up a yummy dinner that everyone loves, but that is healthy.  It’s FEEL-GOOD FOOD, because I literally feel good after eating it!  I no longer get that sickish, stuffed, icky feeling I used to get…like after I’d polish off a bowl of cookie dough.  I used to make cookie dough, just to eat it.  Wow, I’ve come a long way.

And I’m so glad my kids are seeing their parents eat healthy foods, but NOT OBSESSING over what they eat…I can’t obsess, or I’ll lose it, I swear.

OK…enough.  Today’s a bit of a down day…low energy, tired, kinda not feeling good, bit of a cold, yelled at my kids…an ick day.  No, it’s not PMS, I just don’t feel great.  But….I’m not eating for comfort. And that’s cool.

Yay!  I made it over the slump…the motivation is BACK.  And thanks to all of you who wrote such inspiring comments and helped me through my wahh-wahh time.

I figured I might as well get it over with, did a weigh in, and……DRUMROLL PLEASE…..201!!!!  Yippeeeee!  The last weigh in (a few weeks ago) I was at 205, 207 the week before that, 211, and began at 216.  I like the direction that scale is taking.  Next weigh in, I just might be in the one-hundreds.  THAT will be cool.

I know now that I CAN do this. This is working.  Just trying, each day, to make good choice after good choice, and if I do make a not so great choice now and then ENJOY what I eat, withough any guilt, and then keep on making good choices.

It’s so simple!  It’s not easy, but it is simple.  I was thinking today while driving that I really used to put a lot of garbage into my body.  It tasted great, sure, and I definately enjoyed it, but…ick!  We’ve really gotten away from basics as a culture…just good old meat and ‘tatos meals, and hard physical work.  My daddy was a farmer & rancher, he was wonderful (as was my mom too) and they both worked hard, and we ate the basics and pinched pennies.  Garden raised veggies (year round because my mama canned and froze them) and farm raised beef (Dad was a cattle rancher).  Probably more red meat than was healthy, but both of them (and my brother and I too) were slim.  Exercise was not sought after, it was just a part of our lives without trying.  Ever go irrigate fields by hand?  You walk miles packing a heavy shovel, turning over dirt and mud as you go!  I had to do it ONE DAY for my Dad when he had hurt his back…and it wore me out!  And I was about 16 at the time!  He did it daily all summer, every summer.  Then chasing cows on horseback, and out doing chores all winter…a simple, wonderful way of life and a great way to grow up.

Now food is so easy to prepare or even just buy, and the easier it is to get (sometimes, not all foods) the worse it is for us!  And the better sometimes it seems to taste!  Or at least thats how it’s marketed.  I love jalepeno poppers at Arbys…the crispy crunchy deepfried shell cracks open, and you get this creamy chees and spicy pepper combo, dipped in that amazing sauce…yum.  I used to eat those almost every day!!!  And they’re good, no denying that!   Is there any wonder that a plate of broiled chicken breast with a side of steamed broccoli doesn’t seem as exciting as the crispy gooey fatty stuff?  And yet, give me that plate of chicken and broccoli, add some great seasonings, and I love that too.  I guess I just love food.  I love to eat!  And now, thanks to ww, I am learning that I AM IN CONTROL.  I eat when and what I want…but there is this new awareness and accountability that makes me believe I can reach my goal of a healthy weight, and stay there, lifelong. 

Hub and I were talking to a lady today about doing WW, and she asked if I am starving.  Ha!  Far from it!  For the first time in my life, I’m NOT starving and I AM losing weight!  Slowly.  I think in my last blog I was losing patience.  I’m used to losing weight quickly, getting down into the next size smaller in a week, and then gaining it back with interest.  I’m finding it difficult, despite the shrinking numbers on the scale, to be patient and wait for the weight  to come off.  Yet part of me is glad it’s going slow, because I know this time it’s real and lasting.  Kinda like love and relationships!  Hee hee…when they start off hot and heavy and passionate, they burn out quickly.  But when they start off slow, and things build gradually that ’s when they last.  Hmm, interesting!  That thought just came to me as I was typing! 

Off to tomorrow.  Should be a bit of a challenge, hub (who is doing great again btw,) and I are showing our photography at a bridal fair, and there are always tasty tidbits and morsels from the catering companies for potential brides…and they share with all us vendors.  So, flex points be ready!  I was there today, and there were these chocolate and caremel covered pretzels…I had one.  ONE.  Not six! Go me.  In the booth hub and I are doing, instead of the usual chocolate we set on the table (way to tempting, I’d eat dozens) this year I made labels for little 10 oz water bottles with photos on them and our logo and phone numbers.  A total hit!  People are loving the idea, and we’re even going to offer them to brides at their weddings, to give out to guests (with their engagement photo and name on them.)  Fun, and healthy too.  Beat that.

Life is good!  My almost 2 year old is peeing in the potty and wants to sit on it all day long (we keep it in the family room so she can, and she gets mad when we take her off it to dress her to go shopping or church or somewhere) so cute.  I love being a mom, and I’m excited to get more healthy so I can run around and have fun with my kids. 

AND I WANT SPRING TO GET HERE.  SICK OF SNOW.  It’s pretty, from a window!  I want to go out and play in the sun.

Well…later! 

Off to the land of buffets and eating out.  Hub and I are leaving the kids for 3 days, and hitting a 3 day seminar, along with a good friend of ours, in Las Vegas.  I want to do well.  Planning on toting snacks (Fiber One bars, 2 points and worth it) and carrots and snow peas in for snacks, salads for lunch, microwave oatmeal for breakfast but dinner….eeegghggh….we’ll be doin buffets or fab restarants.  It’s Vegas for cryin out loud!  I’ll blog results when I get home, good or bad. 

 I do like blogging, I think it’s the first and only time I’ve ever been truly honest, truly real with this whole weight, food, and body image deal.  And I’m SO GRATEFUL for all the friendship and support I feel…it really keeps me going!

Hub was gone all week visiting his ailing mom in another state, so I basically ran the business, ran the household, visited with my best bud who is here to travel with us, and in between tried to eat OK…I got a little too busy, and have not obeyed my own “bite it then write it” rule…bad at keeping track.  I know I’ve been a little off, and over points (did ok except for excellent salsa with chips, my friend’s suggestion…ohhh, I’m weak with salsa and chips) both last night and tonight while watching Miss America, (LOVED the tweaks the’ve done to update the pageant, it was fun to watch) but…..I plan not to totally blow it in Vegas.

What’s wonderful to me, is I’m AUTOMATICALLY now thinking before I eat. If I really really really want it, I eat it…but the mindless munch-fests of the past are not so prevalent now.  And at the store I look at certain foods I just would have grabbed before, and pass by them…not denying, just thinking “nah…don’t really need that right now.”  Wow!  Is this ME?  Knowing I would blog about downing an entire box of cupcakes makes me stop.

I am planning on a Valentine’s day indulgence.  ONE Russel Stover Strawberry Cream filled chocolate heart.  Just one.  Instead of 10 like I’d buy before. 

Fiber One bars are wonderful too…all the fiber Im getting is filling me up…I literally don’t really feel hungry anymore, and with this slow weight loss, it’s coming off the belly…where I need it to come off.  Not a huge difference, but enough that I know this is working.

SO, back to Vegas.  My game plan is to snack healthfully all day long, take it easy on breakfast and lunch, and enjoy my dinners,  no guilt.  I can walk or exercise in the hotel at night or in the morning, we’ll be waliking alot anyway, and if all I do is maintain and not gain, I’ll feel good upon my return.  So, wish me luck…that I may “LOSE BIG IN VEGAS” ha ha. 

See ya!

Almost perfect!  I am at my exact points for today, lots of veggies too…and no chocolate!  (Having it gone from the house is wonderful!) Except for one, ok four, m-n-m’s.  Only four!  Less than half a point.   M-n-M’s are not a big tempation to me, so I can deal with them in the house.  My son likes them. 

Today had potential to be my ever elusive “perfect” day…because the points or the water are usually where I mess up.    My ‘perfect’ day is right on the points or under, cardio, all my water, and all my veggies.  The milk issue is no prob, ’cause I love milk and dairy products…and fiber is OK cause we’re doing all whole grain good stuff.

Yummy easy fast snack that gets dairy in:  Slice up cucumbers, top with a teaspoon of cottage cheese, and top with lemon pepper.  Tasty! 

I am enjoying coming up with new and yummy food options, that are still healthy!  Hub and I both commented tonight that we don’t feel deprived at all.   The meals we’re doing are not much different at all from what we ate before, it’s all in the portion control for us.   I will forever struggle with the urge to munch mindlessly, but  I’m finding that when I want to eat, if  I ask myself if I’m really hungry, I’m not.  I don’t need to eat at the moment.  I just want to sometimes…and so I can make the choice to not.  Sometimes I make the better choice…and it’s starting to happen more often.

Another tasty treat and veggie serving:  Top roma tomato slices with slices of a  wedge of laughing cow lite cheese (slice the cheese up to make it go father),  sprinkle with basil and freshground black pepper, bake for a few minutes to “roast” tomatoes and melt the cheese. To borrow Rachel Ray’s favorite term: YUM-O!

I did not have time to exercise today…hub and I painted a 12×20 foot background we’re building for our photo studio, and that took most of the day, and even though I was moving, I don’t feel like it was enough of a workout to count.

WATER!  I didn’t get my right amount of water again.  I swear I’m a camel.  I’m just rarely thirsty!  Even when I sweat!  I forget to drink it.  Any tips on how to get better at this? 

Tonight I talked to a friend who’s in a work related “biggest loser” contest.  Now to preface this, she’s really not overweight, she looks great and is toned and athletic.   She’s on a rampage!  She wants to win the contest, and to do that  she wants to drop 36 pounds in 12 weeks…and is eating 11 points a day.  I think shes nuts!  I’d be starving on that amount!  Crazy woman.

This post is really really random.  Probably because I’m tired, and sleepy.  I’m going to bed earlier, because that puts the devil in the fridge out of biz!  He can’t as easily tempt me to mindlessly munch if I’m alseep.  So, I’ll watch the first 5 minutes of the 10 o’clock news, (all the juicy stories) then crash.

Nigh-night!

I’m a loser!  I’m a loser!  (Insert happy tap dance here)  I’m not that kind of loser, I’m a loser in the weight area!!  Each day, each good choice, each pound…is PROGRESS.  Slow going, but permanent this time. (Shut up little negative voice in my head that says I won’t make it.  Yes I will!  And I’ll blog about it too!)

Today was good.  Exercised, 20 min doing step, plus stretching (not much, but I’m building up to more intense workouts, and soon will start weights) didn’t overeat, didn’t reallly succumb to any nasty snack-attacks, and actually feel pretty good about my day.  It’s really not “hard” to stay OP,   It’s just “simple.”

Until I started keeping track (ie., Bite it-and-Write it) I never realized how many calories I was eating in a day!  It wasn’t all bad stuff either…1 or 2 point foods, healthy stuff, junk too…but too much of it.  I watched the Biggest Loser tonight and watched the pink mom and daughter team deal with some of their emotional baggage related to their eating and I’m glad they made a breakthrouh…for me, it’s not any great emotional hurt I’ve tried to fix, it’s more just boredom, or looking to fill an empty moment…or to avoid feeling ‘fidgitey’ or restless. I always feel the need to “do something” and often, that something, in order to avoid something unpleasant like cleaning a closet or mopping a floor, was eat.  Finish first snack, find something else.  Finish that one, eat something else.    I’m finding I can sit still on the couch and just relax for a little while–without a snack, and without “filling” the moment.

Once my kids are in bed, and the hub’s in bed, that has been my biggest snack attack time.  Forming new and healthy habits mean…I go to bed too.  No more midnight oink fests…sleep is much better!

Food today, did pretty well.  Finished off the last of the belgian chocolate bar, completely within my points, perhaps not the best choice but now it’s gone gone gone.  I will NOT buy another one for some time!  I’ll never say never, I refuse to give it up entirely, just right now I don’t need it in my house.  Thank goodness the Hub and I are doing this together.  If he had tempting snacks around, I don’t think I could do it.  I feel bad that last summer he did WW without my support, and derailed after a month and 13 lb.s.   I had no idea it would be so easy.  We were kicking around the idea of WW around new years, and I stumbled onto Roni’s site, and it’s changed my life.  And his.  For the better! 

With that, I’m going to have a cup of fat free milk warmed with just a little ovaltine for flavor, and fat free whipped topping.  It’s a winter staple and I on days when I save up my last 2 pt.s,  this is my night time warmer before bed.  It really does help me sleep better–something about warm milk.  Warm milk with a little sweetener and vanilla extract is tasty too…but tonight it’s chocolate.

I’m excited for tomorrow…hubby and I are building a new background in our photography studio, and I’ll be painting it.  That should burn a few cals!  The hub is great.  My best best best friend, supporter, co-points counter (he’s doing great too) and sweet, involved, dad.  And he’s my work partner too.  I’m the photog, he’s the sales side.  Our business is fun, stressful, and never dull.  Best of all…We’reGonnaBeSkinnyBySummer!  We love going to waterparks with our kids, and next summer he plans to actually take off his shirt, and I’m looking forward to not feeling awkward in my swimsuit.  Life is good…living is good.

The light dawned on the hubby tonight that I’m serious about blogging (I really enjoy it, and it’s motivating me to stay OP) and he looked over my shoulder at one point, asking as he saw the list of names, “So, who are you? ”  I told him my blog name was GoMarieGo, and he replied, puzzled, “Gomer Ego?”  Ohhhh great!  So I’m a gomer with an ego!  We had a good laugh about that one, especially when I told him I’d blog about it!

Anyone who cares, I changed the name of my blog to Diets make you FAT…with tagline “No more deprivation /starvation/constipation.  Like it better…made me chuckle.

Today worked toward the perfect day…got in all my water!  Yay!  All my veggies, yes…exercised, yes!  Stay in point values?  Wellllll…not quite.  Close, but now cigar.  That damn belgian chocolate bar lurking in my cupboard called my name.  Four points worth.  Not terrible, but…so much for perfect!  Oh well, tomorrow is another day, and my mantra is “The plan doesn’t require perfection…it requires persistence.”  Still not too bad, only a few points over, and in a previous lifetime the belgian chocolate would have been gone, purchased again, and gone about 6 times over by now.  I used to melt half the bar (big king size bar) and eat it with a spoon every night!  Eeeaaagghh.  I’m so over the face-stuffing!  It feels so much better to feel “light”…all the time.  Even a few pieces of chocolate won’t totally derail my train.

I wish I could joint the No Sweets In January club.  You blogger babes rock!  I know me though.  If I say no to me, I would want it 24-7.  Couldn’t do it!  Admire greatly those of you who can…and totally support you.  If you lived by me I’d invite you all over for a big ol healthy dinner party and serve not a single sweet.  Good luck all!

On to tomorrow, and another “perfect day” attempt!

Three words of three things I’m finding I really love.  Celery.  Chicken Broth.  Popcorn.

When I have the munchies from hell (98% of my waking hours) these little items save my life…or rather, my points balance.  I have always loved celery hearts, especially the inside tender pieces.  They are a perfect antidote to chips.  Today I snacked on celery with hummus (something I liked to eat even pre-WW) and then just for fun tried a few sticks scooping up my yummy (store bought) Tequila Green Chile Lime salsa (which I jazzed up with a few snips of fresh cilantro…makes any store-bought bottled salsa taste restaraunt-fresh.)  Holy good snackin, Batman!  Who needs chips?  The cool crunch is tasty…and for me the key is to only snack on the inner light light colored tender pieces of celery.  Their almost flavorless crunch lets me actually taste the flavor of dips like salsa or hummus. What I do now, just to keep it convenient is…  Purchase celery hearts at the grocery store,  (two celery hearts to a bag)  and as soon as I get home, I clean and cut up the entire package.   I “categorize” my celery…the tough, dark green, strongly flavored outer stalks are bagged to be used only for cooking, and the lighter yummy tender inner pieces are my (happy dance here) zero point chip replacement.  It works great…and when I have the need to shove something in my mouth,  I’m armed and ready.

POPCORN.  Who doesn’t love it?  My kids love it.  And it takes forever to eat just a few points worth, thank goodness.  Maximum muching, for minimum impact.  What did we ever do before microwave popcorn?  Orville Redenbacher has a yummy new naturals line,  even the packages are pretty!  Check out  Roni’s site at http://weightwatchen.com or go right to the source at http://orville.com

I also have a new love.  Chicken broth-in-a-box, and yep, I’ve become brand loyal.  Swanson, ooooh yeah!  I’ll take the .5 gram of fat for the flavor.  I’ve always used a cheaper “store” brand while cooking, it tastes kinda bland out of the box.   Then my store was out of the store brand, so picked up  the more expensive Swanson broth.  I taste-tested a spoonful of it yesterday while making dinner for the family of really yummy chicken, veggie, and home-style noodle soup (light on the noodles, and my 6 year old proclaimed it in his exact words “the best soup EVER”)…and OH MY…it’s good!  Seriously, I will heat a cup of it right out of the box and drink it in front of the tv when I need a warmup at night.  So many good things to do with it…boil a cup in a pan with a few peas and sliced green onion, crack an egg in another bowl and beat it with a fork (lose some or all of the yolk if you want for less fat), add the egg liquid by spoonful to the boiling liquid and you’ve got instant egg drop soup.  A dash of soy sauce adds flavor too…or even a little powdered dried ginger.  Or boil up a box of it with some onion and celery, snowpeas, carrots, leftover cooked chicken, and chopped chinese cabbage, add soy sauce  and a teaspoon of sesame oil to flavor it and throw in a few  shrimp, you’ve got amazing chinese takeout soup…minus the fat and excess salt.

I’m truly amazed at the FUN I’m having with food now.  It’s like a personal mission to find healthy recipies the family will love that still keep us in the point balance.  I say US because my husband and I are kicking this weight thing in the butt together…My kids are enjoying everything we’re eating.  They don’t miss the grease, or the extra pasta…they just enjoy eating whatever tastes good. 

I’m also amazed that I don’t have to stuff myself to feel satisfied…at least physically.  I’m well under points today (still the evening news to get thru then hit the sack) and I have four or five points to go.  It’s the food addict/emotional eater/binge eater/snack freak in me that is hard to conquer.  That’s what scares me.  I don’t want to get tired of tracking points and give up…like I get tired of other “diets”  That’s why I got fat in the first place.  I was a skinny kid and teen, with a great metabolism.  The way I ate I should have been an overweight teen, too.  I was lucky, but my luck ran out.  The day I turned 25 I swear I got in the shower, and watched my boobs droop and my tummy pop out! And it’s been downhill ever since…other than starvation or low carb-shove-meat-and-cheese-in-your-face-diet times.  So taming the wild chow-hound inside of me will be a lifelong battle.  But now I feel armed and ready, and with WW these wonderful blog buddies and all your inspiring words of wisdom and success, I feel I have  an upper hand in the fight.

What is it they say?  I may not win every battle every day, but I feel like I can win the war.  TO BATTLE!

MUNCH.  Today started out well…tried something totally new for breakfast, instant grits, butter flavor.  And to add fiber with few calories and no yuck factor, stirred in 2 Tb. of wheat germ…not bad!  It adds only 50 calories and 1 point, worth it for the fiber and good stuff.  You can’t taste it. The grits were actually good.  I’m looking forward to it again for breakfast tomorrow!

I did ok all day…but evening eating gets me.  Thats been my past downfall…to wait til the kids and hub are asleep, then I kick back on the couch and chow down.   I only went over by a few…handfuls of m-n-m’s.  Our nightly ritual (my 6 year old and I) is to pop a bag of light microwave popcorn, and throw in a small handful of plain m-n-m’s.  YUM. He gets most of the candy, and every now and then I get a sweet and salty and melty-chocolatey surprise.  No not true, I dig for the candy too!  My toddler pushes my hand out of the way to get thru the popcorn right to the candy.  Im teaching her well, arent I!   I just overdid a bit tonite.  Well, then add a few Sunchips dipped in this YUMMY SPICY tequila & lime salsa I bought today…oh and lets not forget the bowl of frozen rasberries, with fat free whipped cream and just a teency sprinkling of real sugar.  I WILL NOT give up real sugar.  Splenda can bite me.  So…did I cheat?  Or did I just go over my allowance?  I choose the latter.  And…one GOOD thing…it’s not cookies and browines and gallons of ice cream I’m “cheating” with…it could be much, much worse.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day and woo-hoo I get a fresh set of points!  Plus I haven’t really used my weekly points up anyway, so what am I worried about.  Today I polished off the last 2 WW lemon cakes. (Counted in my points of course)  To my new blog buddy who said you can polish off the whole box in a day….meee tooo!!!  They are GOOD.  So for awhile I’ll avoid em…until I really need a treat again.  Sadly, even freezing them would not work for me…confession, I LOVE frozen cakes and cookies!

Wow.  It’s almost a whole week, and I’m still excited about this program.  For me to do anything consistently (”diet” wise, other than when I did low carb because I could still gorge and lose weight the wrong way) for even three days is a miracle.  Saturday is a week!  And I show now signs of stopping.   If it takes me 10 months to reach my ultimate goal, I’ll hit it right around my October birthday.  What a gift…and what a great excuse to SHOP.  How fun will it be not to have to shop in the fat girl stores anymore?  In my days as a 14, I liked shopping at Lane Bryant (still do) because for onces I was the smallest size in the store.  How shallow is that, may I ask!

One goal for next week, OK no, two goals for next week…

1) Stay within points, especially at night

2) Get off my lazy shrinking butt (hey, theres positive thinking!) and MOVE.  I have a treadmill right next to my computer in my home office, so I really have no excuse.  I did it once this week.  Next week I will walk at least 4 of the days, 15 minutes.  Starting slow.

Ok, enought randomness for tonight.  Anyone reading this…have you noticed I type as my thoughts just pass through my head…at random?  Sorry!

Til tomorrow….kiss kiss!  (Kidding.)  Thanks for your support and comments!  I’m glad to have blog buds…you keep me motivated.

Been going strong now for 5 days.  I haven’t cheated, because HA HA HA I CAN’T CHEAT!  I can only stay under or go over points balance!  That’s so cool.

Grocery shopping today, found some decent reduced fat cheese, (the American Processed stuff, but it’s great on grilled cheese  sammies) at only 1 point per slice.  With 2 slices Sara Lee Delightful bread (45 calories per slice), scantily spread with 1 tsp of REAL butter and a couple slices of shaved 98% fat free deli ham I made a not-half-bad grilled cheese sandwich for only 4 points.    And I turned it into kind of a Monte Cristo type sandwich by dipping the whole thing in a teaspoon of raspberry jam…sounds wierd but its a yummy flavor combo!

Thats where this whole thing is leading for me…I’m enjoying experimenting with food and flavor.

I also love my big bowl of veggie soup made with fat free chicken broth, onion, fresh garlic, loads of celery, a can of petite diced tomatoes and a few carrots.  I keep a quantity of this soup in the fridge, and whenever a snack attack happens, or I need a good “filler” at a meal, I heat and eat a bowl…with a squeeze of fresh lemon and some cilantro added in just for a flavor boost.  It’s good, it helps fill the veggie requirements, it’s filling, and best of all…it’s no points. Gotta love that.

I also tried weight watchers lemon cake today…ate 2 of them plus a glass of milk for a tasty 3 point snack.  I think I’ll have one more with my second glass of milk before bed!

I’m enjoying this. I’m watching what I eat now, I’m eating less–waaaay less–than before, and yet, I think I feel more satisfied!  Amazing.  I used to think about food all day long, and now I still do, but in a healthy way. 

See ya!