For Me For Life

Ok, first for the ups.  After much deliberation, a making of several lists of pros and cons and the ultimate flipping of a coin, my hubby and I decided to find out the sex of the baby.  The big reasons were the following:

1) We are moving and in order to make our house look more appealing we have to put a bunch of stuff in storage.  So, we decided it would be really easy to pull out the clothes that would work from DS rather than keep them all wondering whether or not it was going to be a boy.  We didn’t find out if it was a boy or girl the first time, BUT, he came 3 1/2 weeks early and we had NO clothes!  So, everything is pretty much boyish. 

2) Secretly, way way deep down, I really want a girl.  I would love my child no matter what, but I am a girl and I would love to raise a girl (and hope I do it well!)  I wouldn’t want any post-partum issues to even remotely go back to thinking, “Well if it had been a girl, maybe I wouldn’t feel this way!” By finding out, I could prepare myself in advance!

3) We have so very much love for our DS.  He’s really the center of our lives now!  I sometimes really worry about what to do to make Baby Deux (that’s what we’ve been calling it) seem just as special, especially when there is so much going on in our lives right now.  We thought that maybe by finding out and doing it differently from Abel (DS) it would make this baby special in its own way.

4) Heads we find out, tails we don’t.  It was heads!

So we found out and it’s a girl!  Isn’t that exciting??? I’m very over emotional about it all…I’m over emotional about EVERYTHING, but yesterday was a very overwhelming day for me!  And who knows…they are very clear to say that they won’t guarantee anything, but there really weren’t any signs of boy parts!

Now for the downs….I gained another 8 pounds.  It’s killing me.  Just killing me. (I think my font just got bigger and I really don’t know why!)  I feel like I am making such better choices this pregnancy than last, but gaining just as much weight.  So, I’m planning on really really really watching what I eat, staying away from sweets as much as I can and starting up an excercise routine again.  I got up to 260 the past pregnancy and I was pre-ecclamptic (I have no idea how to spell that).  At the rate I’m going, I’ll get to 260 even if I don’t have issues like I had last time.  My pants are starting to get tight and my sides are bulging just as much as my belly.  It’s really bumming me out…more so today than others.  I know it shouldn’t matter.  I know it’s about the health of my baby…but at the same time, I want to feel happy and healthy and when I’m bulging, I just don’t!  SO, after we are out of town this weekend, I’m going to start posting on my exercise page again and hope that I can do something 3-4 times a week (if not more) to add in more movement….and HOPE that makes a difference!

Anyway, I’m feeling more up than down, but I’m really really really looking forward to not being pregnant and losing this weight and feeling good about my body again.  It’s not horrible…the happiness I feel I really think is outweighing (pardon the pun!) the irritation I feel about weight gain, but still, weight and my body have been on my mind since I was about 8.  Why would that suddenly change?

Anyway, cheers to you all!  Have a great weekend!