Fat Girl Walking

It’s been a while and I’m not sure if anyone that I’ve blogged with is still on. I got off track back in September and never seemed to get back on track. As a result I’ve gained back all the weight I lost. I had to go to the doctor last week for an injury to my arm and of course they had to weigh you. It’s not like I didn’t know I hadn’t gained the weight back. Come on, I can tell in how I feel and how my clothes fit or lack of. I am totally and utterly disgusted with myself. I feel lost and hopeless. Maybe I’m getting to down on myself but I feel so lost right now. So much has been going on at my work that I’ve resorted to eating as a way to cope with the emotions. One co-worker of mine had to go out on medical leave because her cancer has returned for a fourth time and a former co-worker was told that she is dying of terminal cancer. All this within two weeks of one another. Then we lost two more people of my team. Needless to say it’s been stressful.

I know in my head that all of this is not an excuse to eat, but I can’t seem to get my brain to flip off that switch. Why is this so hard? I don’t want to feel this way. With all this sickness around me it’s hard not to think of dying and look at what I’m doing to myself with my weight. Is that any different?

I need help, I need advice and most of all I need support. AAAHHH!!!! 

Good Morning,  to all my fellow Minnesota bloggers out there I hope you and your loved ones are safe. The terrible bridge collapse that happened yesterday evening is one bridge that I normally travel but not as much now since I moved. I still can’t believe it happened and most of my friends and co-workers are in shock.

My thoughts and prayers go out to anyone effected by this.

Michelle

I’ve received a couple of comments form my fellow bloggers to come back to the community. I haven’t left, honest. I have just been so super busy. I spent the past two weeks sewing my butt off preparing for a craft show. If I look at fabric again it will be too soon. Then I started volunteering to teach English (ESL) to immigrants. Next week should be better and I promise to post more often.

Weight wise I’m about the same, down 30 pounds. I will be starting back to exercising on a regular basis again next week. I needed to take some time off.

Hope everyone else is doing well and have a great weekend! 

It’s nice to be back. I did put another blog up on another site but only posted once. To be honest, I liked Roni’s site the best. I did find some old friends and I can’t believe how lost I felt without it. Amazing how dependent you become on something.

Hope everyone has a great 4th of July. Not sure how much posting I will be doing over the next couple of weeks. I just found out today that my friend and I got accepted for a craft show on the 14th and we both are not prepared. So, it’s going to be a busy next couple of weeks.