Ten Pounds At A Time

You know that every overweight person WANTS to lose the weight? They do. I mean how many times have I wished I was thin? I am convinced that no one wants to be fat. At least most of us.

Yesterday I was home and watched this gal who has lost over 100 pounds in a year, she started eating healthy and exercising. That is all she did. Sounds pretty simple. But we all know it isn’t. She said that the reason she believed she could do it was “Because, I really wanted it!” That comment struck me, because I say I want to lose weight…but do I really want to? She said it was hard. The hardest thing she has ever done. It involved really looking at the foods she ate. Exercising EVERY DAY. Said she would walk 20 minutes and run 30 seconds. Then every day she added another 30 seconds running. Until one day she was running all 20 minutes. By then she had lost 50 pounds.

Losing weigth isn’t easy. We all know that. It is hard! Is it possible? Yes!

How bad to I want this? BAD!

Am I worth it? Hell Yes!

How committed am I? I am totally 100% committed!

Yesterday was a day!  Wow!  I have been super busy this week and encountered a really evil person (well really two evil people, but mainly one got me going!).

We have some visitors in our office and one of the ladies totally took offense to a very simple request and blew up and it escalated from there.    She basically had a hissy fit and I had to get upper management involved and they stepped in and handled it.  Management totally supported me, which was fantastic, but still I was very upset.  It was stressful.

My reaction?  I totally wanted to eat!  Isn’t that funny!  Not really funny, but it such a cliche’.   As soon as the urge hit me I knew why!  I am an emotional eater!  Who knew?!?   I was going to surpress these feelings of stress and anger with food!  I have a “goodie” drawer here at work.  Mainly there is Kashi bars, Gnu bars, FiberOne Bars….but, I do keep limited amounts of chocolate at my desk for those days….but I didn’t touch it!  Nor, did I have a drink or glass of wine when I got home!  I acknowledged my feelings and knew that food or drink was not the way to resolve what I was feeling.  It is o.k. to feel stress.

I tell you it feels really good to be in control!  In fact it feels awesome.

So, I’ve been MIA from the boards lately.

I am in a funk and cannot quite get myself out of it. I’m pretty sure it is because I am up for a new job and and feeling like I am not going to get it. Which is ok, because I love my current job…but still I kind of wanted it! It is more money, more flexibility.

So, yet again I can attribute my bad eating to my “feelings”….why oh, why do I allow my feelings to dictate my food intake? Will I ever conquer this? At least I am aware it is happening. Maybe that is progress?

I have been counting points until dinner time, then I blow it. Eating a few too many Dove chocolates, crackers, tortilla chips, etc. Not really blowing it, but not really caring too much either. Last night I mentally counted my points in my head and I was over by 2. Well, that isn’t a big deal…but I probably have been over 2 or more every night. I am never going to lose this weight if I continue with this trend. Then I will get frustrated and give up….and that is NOT an option.

So here is my solution to break out of the funk (isn’t that a song from the 70’s? jk)…

1. Count ALL points! Really count. Look it up, count it out and measure, if possible.
2. Exercise!
3. Just say NO to Dove chocolate…unless it is within the allotted points for the day!
4. Quit drinking wine every night. Limit it to once a week.

Looking forward to a wonderfun, on track weekend!

Weighing in today and I lost .5 pounds!  Which isn’t a fantastic weight loss, but well it kind of is to me.  I have weighed in at the same weight for about 3 weeks now and well finally I am down .5 pounds!  yeeeee haaaawwww!

I am doing the same thing I always have, eating on track (maybe not exercising as much….but still I have been moving!)

I acknowledge that I am a slow loser.  I know this and have learned to accept it.  I know that I am not going to lose 50 pounds in 6 months.  I have been on program for 6 months (yesterday was my 6 month anniversary) and I haven’t reached the 30 pound mark yet.  But, it is ok.  I am really ok with it.  Because I know that if I stay on track I will lose all the weight I want to.  It may take 2 years or maybe 3?  I honestly don’t care.  What I care about is being healthy and being on the road to getting healthy.   And the numbers on the scale are getting smaller!  What more could a girl hope for?

I haven’t posted all week and not sure why?

My eating was pretty good all week.  Yesterday I did go out for lunch and ate a hamburger (not the fast food kind it was from a pub) and boy I wasn’t hungry for the rest of the day.  I don’t think I have had a regular burger in 6 months.  All the burgers I have eaten were either Boca or Chicken (and not the crispy fried kind either!)  It was a splurge and sometimes that is ok as long as it only happens once in a while.  The fear is that it is a slippery slope and the unhealthy, fatty foods will once again take over my diet.  But, I am not going to let that happen.  I’m not!

It was a busy week, work was crazy and out of control at times so I am pretty tired.  I interviewed for a different job within the company I work for and I think I have some stiff competition.  So, I’m not that optimistic about getting selected for the new position but that is fine too.  I love my job now.  It is just this new position is a great career move and I am qualified and it would allow me to work from home some of the time.  Which would be great! And well there is the part of the job that would include a pretty hefty pay increase and more money is always good too.

I got a good nights sleep last night and I am going to try and get exercise in this weekend, plan healthy delicious meals, and get plenty of rest and “me” time (the latter is the hardest!)

I am only a few pounds away from the 30 pound mark and would really like to get there soon!

OK, this was my first really bad weekend.

Started out ok, lots of extra points.  Then Saturday I blew it.   Ate a late lunch then didn’t want dinner.  Ate popcorn, licorice, and m&m’s.  All really bad for me.  Then yesterday I just didn’t care.  It wasn’t a horrible day, it just wasn’t good.  I felt really out of sync.  Maybe part of it was husband was grumpy all weekend, which made me grumpy.  I ended up eating or not eating because of emotions - I totally know it.  And I didn’t care!  LOL.  But honestly, the bad eating just made me feel worse!

Today, I am back on track.  I made an awesome soup yesterday afternoon.  It has non fat chicken broth, carrots, celery, orzo, cannelini beans and spinach with italian seasonings.

Here is hoping I am back in sync!

As they say, the past is the past and now it is time to move on!

I have this friend who is so lacking in confidence that I totally get frustrated with her.  She has very poor self image and continues to let people use her, abuse her, and belittle her…and she doesn’t know why.  She says that she is nice.  (and she is, she just isn’t confident in who she is…)

I can get really frustrated when I talk to her because I want to fix her.  I try.  But some people will say the want change, but continue to do what they have always done….you know people like this I’m sure.  They like their misery!  It is comfortable.  (Weight issues are very similar aren’t they?  We say we want to lose weight, yet continue to eat burgers, fries, candy bars, etc. and are so upset that we are still fat!  We want to be thin, yet we don’t do anything to change.)

I think I have good self esteem.  I don’t let anyone take advantage of me.  I stand up for myself.  And I think by losing weight my self confidence is getting stronger and stronger.

I believe I can lose this weight because I am worth it!  I am worth fighting this battle once and for all….maybe the confidence on the inside will finally be reflected on the outside.  That is the goal.

I have brought my lunch to work pretty much every day for almost 6 months now. We have a really nice lunch room that overlooks Elliott Bay here in Seattle. You can see ferries crossing the Sound, Olympic Mountains in the background. It is beautiful. And I pretty much eat my lunch with the same crowd, it usually is very lively and we laugh a lot.

Today I brought leftovers. Which I hardly ever do, but today I brought leftover low-fat cheese lasagna. It is only 4 points for a slice. Yum. So, I heat it up and about a cup of frozen green beans. One of my co-workers looks at my lunch after I have nuked it and says really loud, “Man, that looks great! You can eat that on Weight Watchers?”

I said, “Yes, it is only 4 points!” Then another co-worker says, “You can eat anything on Weight Watchers!”

It was pretty cool to show every one how healthy eating can be delicious too. (And it was really tasty!)

Then I proceeded to bring out my mango and slice it (per Roni’s video instruction, Thank you, Roni! See video post here.)

Now, I have more people drooling.  It was really fun to have people wish they had my lunch and I am on Weight Watchers!

Way cool.

Wow, I have been so hungry the past couple days.  Today I have already eaten whole wheat toast with almond butter and now I am eating a Kashi Go Lean bar.  I bought some Extra gum, but that isn’t going to cut it.  I still have a banana to eat, but dang I am really hungry and it is only 9:00 a.m.  I am trying to be sensitive to my body and eat when I am hungry and not eat when I am not….but this has been going on for a couple days now.  I hardly ever dip into my Flex points, but I am going to today I just know it!

So here is my strategy:  drink lots of water, chem gum, eat my healthy snacks and pray I can keep my hunger pains under control! Good thing I have a drawer full of Fiber One bars, Gnu bars, Kashi Go Lean Bars!

Do you ever just wake up Happy?

Today is just a great day!  I’m not sure why.  The sun is out, I packed my food for the day, I love my husband and my kids.  I love my job (even though I have applied for a new job…same company tho!)  I have great friends.

I can see that Spring is coming.  I heard birds chirping at 6:00 a.m.

Maybe it is because I have a friend whose life is constant drama and it makes me so thankful for my boring, normal life!

I did only lose .5 pounds this week, but I don’t care.  I am on track.  I did indulge in one Girl Scout cookie, but just one.  (It was a Samoa - seriously if I’m gonna indulge that was the way to go!)

It is going to be a great day, I just know it!