My county is having a Biggest Loser Competition and I will be in it!!! I am so excited.  It’s going to last 12 weeks, so all summer long!  I am so thrilled, I am beyond words.  I have thought about doing it for a few months and then the other day I called knowing it was already too late.  But someone happened to drop out and I got her spot.  I start Wednesday, the 18th.  We meet twice a week, once with the team trainer and once a week with our nutritionist.  We have weekly weigh in’s and challenges just like the show.  At the end there is a male and female winner!!I plan to blog this entire contest so please keep checking on this blog and I hope to gain lots of cheerleaders!! 

so good!  Well sort of.  I have been using Calorie Count to basically journal all my food.  If you haven’t checked the site out it’s pretty cool.  It will even give a complete analysis and breakdown of what you eat so you know the % of carbs vs. protein, fat etc.  She has me eating 1800 calories, which is higher than what I normally eat when I am trying to “be good”.  At 179.5 I guess it’s right.  Especially with working out 6 days, yes that is correct 6 days a week!   The workouts are good.  I have actually been staying home for them and saving $$ on gas and child watch.  I usually do 30 - 50 min of cardio depending on the day.  Long days I am not running but have to maintain 60-70% of my Heartrate.  It’s all about the HR guys…get a monitor and find your baseline and plan your workouts around it, they will be much more effective!!  On other days I am at 70-80% of my HR and jogging..with the girls in the jogger.  So extra hard!!  Especially with hills and I do not back off!  There is something symbolic about me trying to get fit, get baby weight off (still) and doing it with my 2 and 3 yr old in front of me, pushing them while they cheer me on!  tear…Then I have about 30 on weights, floor work, ab work etc.  The weights are to kick start my metab.  By the end of the week I was doing 60 REAL pushups!  Love it! So at week 1 I was at about 182, I am down 179…not great since I WAS 177…anyways.  I know I have been plateaued for a while.   I am also still planning to do a race.  I will probably do a 5K at the end of this month and then in June I will do a 12K.  Not difficult, a fun goal.   Ok time to choke down some more breakfast.  I have to have like a 500 cal breakfast… 

So I have thought about this for a long long time.  It actually began 2 years ago when I was looking for a personal trainer/program to help me get my back to back baby weight.  2 babies in 2 yrs = lots of weight gain.  I was never fat until my lifestyle changed.  Athlete in high school, probably never weighed over 110 lbs.  College, beer, pizza…little gain there.  but it wasn’t until I stopped working to have a child.  Weight really was never an issue, food was never an issue.  So why the weight gain??  Well if they say weight LOSS is 80% weight loss, then what attribute to a gain?  Change of eating habits, lifestyle I suppose.  For me, it was the fact that all of a sudden I couldn’t eat like I used to…hell I couldn’t eat at all or I would gain.  My problem was that when I left the soccer field after high school I didn’t replace my physical activity with anything.  So why aren’t there any programs out there to help someone like me and probably most of you.  I do think when pounds need to be shed that lowering calories is a MUST but what about the activity.  I know programs touch on this but isn’t physical activity going to be the ONLY thing that will help maintain a loss.  After all it was a lack of that put me in my position in the first place???  I just don’t understand why it is so hard to find a program that emphasizes both areas in harmony.  Believe me I have looked and looked…in two different states in the past 2 years.  Biggest loser just ended, why is this not popping up everywhere.  Why can’t we go sign up for something like this like we would WW or JC, etc?  I would absolutely LOVE to see trainers/nutritionists get their heads together and formulate a business,  I would pay hundreds!

Ok so one of the “trainers” at the Y (she isn’t finished yet with her cert. but works with people doing the 12 week wellness program) indicated to me one day that she was looking for someone to train, specifically with running.  Long story short…She will be my trainer, I will be her model.  She is wanting to build a home based business and I will be her “look what I can do for you….”  So she is going the whole 9 yards for me, photos, journal, workout scheduling.  etc.  She doesn’t even want to charge me…yippy!  I have had personal trainers before and really I know all I can when it comes to form etc.  I just really need someone to monitor my workouts and calories, making sure I hit that deficit.  I have a real problem with what kind of help is out there for someone like myself.  I will elaborate on that later.  I feel like this is the pressure I need, it may not be a big competition (I work so well that way) but something similar.  She and I will have a call later to discuss the details….I am sooo freaking excited!!!!!!!!

I took my measurements tonight.  I am officially at a plateau, well not a real one since I was sick for a while yadda yadda…my weight has been hanging around 177 for a month now.  My measurements CLEARLY indicate I am larger…5 inches to be exact.  Not a big deal. So I have been thinking why is it so hard to challenge oneself?  I mean why can’t I “compete” against this fat girl that sits here?  Inside I am not fat, inside I see myself fit, strong beautiful…oh I have such an ego!  So why can’t I just go to the gym every day and work my ass off?  why is that so hard? I hit the gym today, did my 2 miles…oh my legs hurt sooooooo bad.  At dinner last night I argued with my husband about not running today and he basically said, “Do you think any of the BL contestants take the day off because their quads hurt?  Do you think Jillian says, take it easy??”  So there I was running my 2 miles..I did it.  Then came home and did the darn DVD…20 minutes of more torture. So I DID IT…but can  I work like that all the time??  Probably not…So I might hire a personal trainer…more on that as it develops!  

Ok So yesterday I did my first day of Jillian Michaels new shred DVD.  Now let me also say, I am NOT a fan of DVD/VHS workouts…I think they get repetitive and boring.  But, this is GREAT!  I am a HUGE fan of hers and honestly she says some things that just keep you going. So after Day one I could barely sleep.  I did phase one/Day one..it doesn’t get any easier.  Keep in mind, I have been running since Jan., and actually feel I am relatively fit, overweight but fit.  My Quads, triceps, Biceps and back were killing me from this 20+ minute workout!! So I know someone else out there is thinking of buying it or has it…lets get a group together and do this 30 day challenge and drop 20 lbs!!  If you are already working out add it to your workout…what the heck is an extra 24 minutes??  I even did it with my 2 and 3 yr old right next to me.  I am still running, still planning on a 12K in June…LET’S DO IT! 

So my husband thought he would be nice and buy me Jillian Michaels new book…well yesterday it showed up and it wasn’t a book it was her latest DVD 30 day shred.  So I went to the gym and did my, back to training after being sick, 2 mile run.  What a let down to go from running 5 miles and now I am what feels like back to the beginning.  Anyways, did that some ab work and a little of the bike…came home and popped it in.  GO BUY IT TODAY!!  Join me!!!  30 days, I can do this….a promise of 20 lbs gone sounds great to me!!  Let me tell you, phase 1 is what I did and granted my arms are sore from yesterday but damn she kicks you butt!!! Love it Love it Love it!!! 

 Ok DO OVER!!  Don’t you ever want to yell that.  Why do we always, “Start”?  Are we so afraid of failure, afraid of admitting we slipped up, screwed up, messed up the diet??  Well tomorrow I am starting once again…but it is because I go so darn sick.  I will weigh in tomorrow and go from there.  I will head to the gym in the morning and will try and get some treadmill time in.  Likely, it will only be a walk.  I am still recovering and anything that will wind me will probably send me in to a cough attack….so sucks.  I was up to 5 mile runs before I got sick.  Now I KNOW I couldn’t even do a mile run. So the plan is to hit the gym again, and log my calories on Calorie count.  I think my Calorie range was 1500 but I will have to double check that. I still want to keep the June 12th Goal of the marathon (1/2) but I may be changing to a race at a later time.  I will know for sure by May.  Regardless I am still doing the 1/2 Marathon this summer!!! 

Oh I don’t know if I will ever be able to workout again.  I have come down with the worse cold/flu I have ever had.  I remember Thursday night waking, feverishly, and wishing I could just go to the hospital.  4 days later and I am feeling better but I am so weak I don’t know how I will ever run again.  My training is now off by weeks and my marathon is only 11 weeks away.  I feel like I will be starting over…even a mile seems near impossible.  On a good note, I lost the 3 pounds that I had gained, but honestly I am more bummed about the set back in my training more than anything.  That’s a real sign that I am fixing the thought process.  Lose the focus of weight a numbers and direct it towards physical goals and achievements.  

It is just a number…I have gained about 3 lbs over the past few weeks….plus I weighed AFTER a bath with the kids and it’s 6PM….But to be completely honest I am more disappointed with the progress I have lost with my running rather the gained I am seeing with the weight.  Does that mean I am on the road to fixing my head and the way I look at weight etc?  Let’s hope so…I will hurry up and get better and be back in the gym asap.  I am actually looking forward to it.  There is something to be said about being able to run mile after mile without any difficulty breathing and then get sick and have such a weight in your chest.