Ugh…I decided I had to face the music of my party weekend and get on the scale this morning:

Day 29 Home Scale Reading = 150.4

Ugh…although it wasn’t as bad as it could have been…I really didn’t like seeing that 5 in my number again!  Although my goal was to be down to 150 by the end of April, and I have managed to accomplish that, being in the 140’s last week was nice…and I’d like to get back into them as soon as possible.

I am going away this weekend for a 4 day weekend to Florida for a friend’s wedding, but I will NOT let myself go off track.  I am going to bring healthy snacks and a bunch of water for myself, and there is a gym at the hotel which I full plan on using.  So hopefully I’ll be back in those 140’s very soon and STAY there this time!

I bought a heart rate monitor this weekend and used it for the first time during my Step Aerobics class yesterday…but I’m concerned that it is not working as it said I burned 1100 Calories during the class which seems EXCESSIVELY high.  So now I”m not sure what to do…it was $50 so it wasn’t that cheap…I guess I’ll try to use it on a machine and compare the calorie counts to see about where I am.  Does anyone have any advice on these?

Flex Points Remaining = Negative Bajillion!!!

That is what I’m feeling like after a weekend FULL of drinks, food, and not too much working out!  Man it was a blast of a weekend, it was one of my best friend’s birthday weekends, so we ended up indulging quite a bit.  There was no counting points, no control over what I was eating…it was just a good old fashioned party weekend!  I can’t lie and say I didn’t enjoy every single minute of it though.

I weighed in officially at WW on Friday, so there must be something that clicks in my brain that says “you just weighed in, so you can go off track for a day…it’s okay”.  Well that day turned into 3…and now I’m ready to get back on track!   I had no balls to get on the scale this morning, so I  have no idea what it says…I probably don’t want to!  But even though the end of April was a little crazy, I think overall I have been pretty successful in my “April challenge”.

So here’s to getting back on track today….

Day 25 Home Scale Reading = 148.00

MUCH better than yesterday…I knew I was super bloated yesterday! I am going to go ahead and officially weigh in at WW today because although I have until next Wed. before I’m required to, today’s meeting time is better for my schedule. Another big step I’m taking today is wearing regular clothes to my weigh in. Normally I would be obsessed about wearing a very lightweight dress to weigh in, but this morning I was going to wear those new size 6 capris no matter what…so I am, and they feel GREAT!

Here are my points from yesterday:

Flex Points Remaining: 29
Activity: PT Session

So after last night’s PT session, my trainer was talking to me about my food intake, and in his opinion, I’m not taking in enough food for the activity that we are doing. He apparently doesn’t think WW is good for someone as active as I am…but I also think he doesn’t know anything about WW. I don’t generally eat my activity points, because well this month I’ve been trying to get the numbers down again…which I have. So it’s possible that I *MIGHT* need to try and eat more on the days I work out with him so that my energy level is high enough to make it through his workouts. I was really offended (yet again) by his comments though…first I wasn’t giving enough effort and had an attitude, and now he thinks I’m not eating right…I can’t win with this guy. I have one more training session paid for, and after that it’s a toss up of whether I will continue. I really want to, but I’m also not paying this jerk $40 a week to continue to put me down. I really don’t think he is trying to be mean, but he also needs to learn how to get his point across without being an ass. I’m sure he is someone who has never been overweight in his life, so he really doesn’t understand what a long journey and hard process this is! But either way, I KNOW WW works, um hello I’ve been doing it for 15 months now! So I’m going to keep up what I’m doing, maybe add some more food the days I work out with him to see if it helps, and go from there.

I got a long lunch today, so I decided to run by New York & Company after eating to pick up some shorts.  I am going to Destin, FL next weekend for a wedding and after looking in my shorts drawer last night, I realized that they were all too big on me.  So anyway, while at the store, I also found some cute black capris that I wanted to try on.  I tried on the 8’s, and they were too big.  And since they were “stretch”…I knew they would get too saggy throughout the day.  So I tried on the 6’s and they FIT LIKE A GLOVE.  So I bought them!!!

So screw the scale this morning, screw the bloated “fat” feeling I had today…I just bought a pair of size 6 pants.  I’m on cloud nine right now!

Day 24 Home Scale Reading = 149.8

EWWWW…did NOT like that at all this morning. But it is TOM, and I had a pretty high sodium filled dinner, so I’m not too worried about it. I’m going to drink lots of water today and hopefully that bloating will go away. I definitely feel it today though…that feeling that you gained 50 pounds over night!!!

So on to the topic at hand…last night, I had a total craving for nachos. It just would NOT go away. So rather than totally destroy my diet by going to the mexican restaurant close to our house, I decided to make my own. Although it still ended up being 12 points, it was a HUGE portion and totally hit the spot. I probably should have only eaten half of it, but I didn’t have that trigger last night of “stop eating you are seriously full”…so of course when I did finish, I felt like barfing. But sometimes you just have to fill that craving!

My cooking skills have certainly improved over the years, I once set off the fire alarm in my apartment when I was boiling water (no joke). But even today, I’m a strict recipe follower…I’m not one of those people who looks in the pantry and puts together a meal with what she has in there. But apparently I became one of those people last night. I wanted to bulk up the meat a bit so I added some spicy chili beans and rotel to the meat and it ended up being so amazing.

I knew I was addicted to blogging when my husband said how great it looked and my first thought was “I should take a picture for my blog”….and of course he thought I was crazy when I actually went and got the camera out. So for all of you to enjoy, here was my amazing nacho platter from last night:

Again, this totally could have been cut in half for a really low point dinner, but I couldn’t stop myself once I started. If y’all want the recipe, here you go:

1 lb. 96/4 lean ground beef
1 can Rotel
1 can spicy Chili beans
1 pkg. reduced sodium taco seasoning
Tositos Light chips (I used 12 per serving)
1 can FF Refried Beans
4 oz Cabot 75% Reduced Fat Cheddar cheese
1 small can sliced Black Olives
Shredded Lettuce
FF Sour Cream

It made 4 servings, the meat mixture was approx. 1 cup per serving.

So overall I used about 7 flex points yesterday which is more than I like to use, but between the cupcake and the nacho platter yesterday, it was well worth it. I’ll just work hard for the next few days to make up for it. That’s what living this skinny life is all about right!

Here’s my breakdown of points for the day:

Flex Points Remaining: 28
Activity: Wednesday is my OFF day from the gym

Day 23 Home Scale Reading = 147.4

I’m in new territory here. My lowest weight ever was 148.4 before my wedding…so today was seeing a whole new number! I am really enjoying this! It’s like setting a record everyday! And 145 is so close I can almost taste it!

Flex Points Remaining: 35
Activity: 15 minutes on elliptical, Ran 10 minute mile!!!!!, Abs

My trainer canceled our session last night because he was sick, but my friend and I went to the gym anyway! We both decided that we needed to run the mile again whether we wanted to or not. So we did. And we both did it right under 10 minutes. That’s a little more than a minute better than we did it last time! I was just excited to complete it! I thought I was seriously going to puke on the last 2.5 laps, but I didn’t. Now why can’t I do that when Matt is around??

Today is one of my co-workers birthdays, so I made red velvet cupcakes for the office. I’ve already calculated the points for them and will definitely be treating myself to one (I made one smaller than the others just for me so that will be a nice treat!

That’s about all for today…must have coffee…I don’t think I’m totally awake quite yet!

Day 22 Home Scale Reading = 149.2

So I officially lost another 2 lbs last week and I couldn’t be more excited!!   It’s so great to see those 140’s again!!! I hope to see them for a long time and not see those 150’s anymore!  I’m finally back down to the weight I was before my wedding in December, even though I’m in much better shape than I was then due to the muscles and what not.

I am also starting to see a lot more definition in my arms, legs, and even my abs.  Dare I say that something is forming on my stomach that I’ve never seen before!!!! Having a flat stomach has always been a dream of mine, one that never seemed possible until now.  I WILL have one this summer….I promise you that!

I ate well yesterday (stayed right at my 20 points) but I skipped the gym.  Apparently my “lazy Sunday” spilled into Monday.  But today is the first day of the dreaded lady time, so I have a feeling that is helping the lazy feeling along!  Tonight I go back to personal training though so I know I’ll get a good workout in.  I’m dreading it a little bit since it’s the first training session since our little spat, but we’ll see how it goes!  I’m trying to remain optimistic so that I don’t go in with any kind of “negative attitude”.

I was reading Roni’s blog about what the “key” to losing weight and it really made me think back to the beginning of last year.  That was the beginning of a total transformation not only of my outside appearance, but also a transformation of my relationship with food.  I know that sounds strange…having a relationship with food, but I did…and it was NOT a healthy one.  WW really taught me that food is not the be all end all of life.  It is there to give us the nutrients we need, and to be there for the occasional treat…but that it should not rule our lives.   As crazy as it sounds, before joining WW last year, I really had no concept of how to eat healthy.  I lost 50 lbs a few years ago by working out everyday and eating less.  I wasn’t eating healthier, just eating less.  The original reason I did this was because my doctor told me I had high cholesterol and that was a huge wake up call for being a 25 year old.  However, after losing that 50 lbs, my cholesterol hadn’t gone down…in fact, it had gone up.  When I joined WW and started losing weight, I learned about what your body needs and the types of food you should be eating (ie. whole grains, non-processed foods, fruits and veggies, etc.).  I’m happy to say that I no longer have high cholesterol…WW helped me lower more than 20 points and it is now in a normal range.  So for me, the key is that you have to be ready to learn how to eat…it’s a LOT easier to eat conveniently, so you have to be committed.  But I can tell you that eventually it does get easier, although I never think it totally ends.  Here I am a year and four months after starting WW and I still have to journal to keep myself in check, I still have to reign my diet in sometimes when it gets out of hand, but I have the tools now to know that I CAN do it.

Day 21 Home Scale Reading = 151.0

I’m not TOO worried about this morning’s scale reading.  Friday, Saturday, and Sunday said 148.2, so I know I didn’t gain 3 pounds overnight.  I did eat a good amount of food yesterday because I decided to have a Lazy Sunday.  It had been a VERY long week and I had worked out every single day despite feeling drained most of the week, so I decided that Sunday would consist of me sleeping in, skipping the gym, and laying around watching my soaps and doing a few household chores.  It’s been a really long time since my husband and I had one of these days and it was WELL deserved and MUCH needed.  And I have to tell you, it was FANTASTIC!!!  I totally recommend this type of day to anyone who needs a break!  Generally a lazy sunday entails us ordering in, which it did last night, but I still managed to escape the weekend with 9 flex points left.  And since my week starts over tomorrow, I doubt I will use them all today!

So today I plan on drinking LOTS of water, and hopefully the scale will be back down for tomorrow’s “official” weigh in.  I’m also doing step tonight with my friend so that should burn a good amount of calories as well!

Thanks for your comments about my trainer breakdown last week…I’m feeling much better about it.  I saw him at the gym and he came up and gave me a hug and complimented me on how I looked that day.  So not exactly an apology but at least he was trying to be nice.  I still plan on channeling my anger towards him into my workouts!!!

I hope everyone has a GREAT Monday!!!

So I had a total and complete breakdown last night. Not with food, but during our personal training session. After doing the Total Body Trainer for 10 minutes, he had us jog. Jogging is NOT my thing…I absolutely hate it and it makes me lungs feel like they are going to explode out of my chest. I was already having a really bad day, and had felt completely drained and worn out all day, and I made a comment about “hating jogging”. Well that apparently set something off in my trainer and he totally freaked out on me telling me I had a negative attitude and what not. Well that pissed me off and he proceeded to make us do the hardest workout we’ve ever done. After the workout was over he wanted to talk to me alone. He went on to continue to say that everything isn’t going to be easy and that we hired him to make things hard and I need to stop with my “negative attitude” and we need to respect him, etc. Well I completely lost it and was SOBBING which sucked so bad, because I was so mad. I HATE crying in front of people, especially people I don’t know all that well. For him to come at me like that and say I wasn’t giving my all is such bullshit. I have worked my ASS off for the past 6 weeks and honestly feel that I’ve worked harder recently than I ever have at anything. I honesty have never worked this hard at anything so I really don’t know where it all came from. He kept saying that he has really long days on Tues. and Thurs. and how we shouldn’t piss him off when we are his last client’s of the night. I’m pretty much really aggravated at the entire situation because I feel that he unfairly took out his own bad day on me because I made one freaking comment about something I don’t like. I’m also totally hormonal, so that lead to me pretty much crying the rest of the night. It was just one of those nights were I couldn’t stop. But it also might have been a release that I totally needed. Sometimes you need a good cry like that!

Flex Points Remaining: 29
Activity: Hell of a PT session

I had 4 points leftover because once I got home from the gym, there was NO appetite whatsoever.

Day 17 Home Scale Reading = 148.4

That was a GREAT thing to see this morning…it might just be the pickup I needed. I don’t know if it’s an accurate reading since a) I didn’t eat a ton yesterday and b) I probably cried about 2 pounds of water weight out….so we’ll see if stays there. But seeing a 4 in my weight was a great thing.

One thing I have to really make sure of is that I don’t let this situation get me down and push me to emotionally eat. I have a very short trigger for men talking down to me…I’ve had too many experiences in my life with it, and so at this point in my life, it is NOT something I tolerate AT ALL. I am willing to take responsibility for my part in it, “being negative”, but I still feel it was totally unwarranted, and I’m glad we don’t have another session until Tues. because knowing myself, I wouldn’t go back. But if it happens again, we’ll be getting a new trainer without fail.

So today I’m trying to be positive and have a good day and not let it get me down!!

Day 17 Home Scale Reading = 150.4

I was glad to see that number again, because I feel like it’s an accurate weight…so I’m really excited to be so close to my original April goal already! Maybe I can get back in the 140’s by the end of the month! It definitely seems possible now, when it didn’t in anyway 3 weeks ago!! It’s amazing to me what just 3 weeks on the program has done for me again! It’s nice to feel refreshed on WW when it felt like it had been so long that I was fluctuating back and forth!

Flex Points Remaining: 29
Activity: 15 minutes on Rowing machine, 10 minutes on Total Body Trainer, Abs, Pushups

When I got on the Total Body Trainer at the gym yesterday my legs were so sore. I had to FORCE myself to say on for the 10 minutes…I had planned on doing more cardio but I literally could not do anymore. So even though I didn’t get as much activity yesterday than I have been getting, at least I got some! Wednesday is usually the day I want to skip the gym because it’s between the two personal training nights…so I’m glad I at least went and did some activity!

So on to Roni’s Question of the Week. Wow, she must have been reading my mind yesterday because I was just having that same conversation with my friend and also with myself. My “goal weight” has always been 145 because like Roni, that was a number I don’t ever remember seeing! I didn’t weigh myself a lot when I was growing up, so I never really knew my weight in high school. I think I’m a bit smaller now than I was then, because I wore a juniors 9 then. So that is how I came up with 145. But now that I’m getting so close to it, it makes me wonder if I should strive to go even lower. To me, seeing that number would be the best feeling ever! So anything after that would be bonus. Really I just want to get fit and healthy and see how far I can take this without depriving myself. I did some surveys yesterday that said the “ideal” weight for my body type and height is 135. The thought of me weighing that little seems impossible in my mind…but I’ve been doing a lot of things that I thought were impossible. So maybe I’ll re-evaluate my goal weight as I continue progressing…but I’m sticking with 145 for now. It FINALLY seems like I’m in the last leg of the race to get to that number. 145…watch out…I’m coming for ya!